Unhiding my heels

[RonC]

It is great when we actually finally do the thing we've been wanting to do!  With my physical issues, I cannot walk too long in heels anymore, but I still enjoy the occasional outing.  WIth the heat of summer here, things will be limited for a while as long jeans and 90+ temps don't really go together so well...lol

[jeremy1986]

On 7/14/2019 at 3:34 AM, hiddenheels said:

Somewhat in a similar position, but I try to go far enough from home that my immediate neighbourhood will not find out. There's a danger that others who know me will see me, but at those times I take that risk. Otherwise I will be stuck at home only, which is no fun. Starting to focus more on potential trips, and trying to plan ahead... 

OUTING: Had a chance to try my new 5" ankle-boot (no platform) outside, along with another 5" ankle-boot (with 1" platform). It was in a suburban neighbourhood, and it was dark already.

My no-platform-boots, although they're size US9, I have no idea what kind of messed up sizing system they used, as US9 would be way too small and unworkable for me, but these shoes are a perfect fit with socks, and I mean 100% perfect, so comfortable. I don't think I've ever gone out in a 5" boot before, but I simply had to try these out. As usual, it was with long jeans covering most of the heels. Getting out of the car is getting less of an issue, and I am starting to not worry about that at all. Although I've worn heels this tall inside, outside turned out to be a challenge. Took me about 10 minutes to get used to it, and figure out how to handle the slopes on a sidewalk, and the ups and downs of driveway entrances. I didn't trip, ankles didn't go out, so am quite proud of myself. Walked around for ~30 minutes, and it was an amazing 30 minutes. Had some people walk by, but didn't care. Did get a small group of teenager guys walk my way for which I stopped and messed around with my phone until they passed. I didn't trust that situation. After 30 minutes of walking about, my feet didn't ache, my toes weren't crushed, I love these. Although the heels are higher than my usual, I'm surprised how well I did.

Before calling it quits, I had to try the other boots, so changed into them, and took a quick stroll. I don't know why, possibly because after 30 minutes with a 5" lift, wearing something with a 4" lift was child's play. I felt like I was wearing my sneakers, so comfortable, so easy to walk in. 

Overall, I had no issues, both new boots did great, and I'm super-happy. Before heading home I considered stopping by a grocery store or something just for the thrill of it, but decided to head home and not freak out my wife (that I went into a store in heels - maybe next time). 

Well done on the outing!

Size 9, you say? Maybe its UK size 9?

[hiddenheels]

Thank you very much for the encouragement! I will keep posting, and will try to keep pushing myself. 

Had a chance to go out to a coffee shop while I was doing some work. Picked one a bit far from my neighbourhood, donned my jeans and favourite boots and went. For whatever reason when I got there I just sat in the car and didn't feel at all comfortable going in. After a while of killing time, I decided to go elsewhere, so went to another coffee shop closer to home. There, I went in, bought some drinks and food, and went outside to sit at a table and work. The jeans were very long, the heels were probably barely noticeable. Spent about an hour at the table working, after which I had to go, change back into boring cloths and continue with my day.

 

Somewhat disappointed I didn't get to spend more time, and that I chickened out at the first stop, but am happy I enjoyed myself at the second stop. Ah, the ups and downs...

[hernaezjames]

On 7/15/2019 at 9:18 PM, jeremy1986 said:

Well done on the outing!

Size 9, you say? Maybe its UK size 9?

Sizing in some brands usually not accurate and weird.  Nice one hiddenheels. 

What size do you guys wear? Is there separate thread for sizes we wear? I wear a US size 9

[pebblesf]

On 7/18/2019 at 12:43 AM, hernaezjames said:

Sizing in some brands usually not accurate and weird.  Nice one hiddenheels. 

What size do you guys wear? Is there separate thread for sizes we wear? I wear a US size 9

US women's size 10-11 for me

[maninboots]

On 7/16/2019 at 3:44 AM, hiddenheels said:

Thank you very much for the encouragement! I will keep posting, and will try to keep pushing myself. 

Had a chance to go out to a coffee shop while I was doing some work. Picked one a bit far from my neighbourhood, donned my jeans and favourite boots and went. For whatever reason when I got there I just sat in the car and didn't feel at all comfortable going in. After a while of killing time, I decided to go elsewhere, so went to another coffee shop closer to home. There, I went in, bought some drinks and food, and went outside to sit at a table and work. The jeans were very long, the heels were probably barely noticeable. Spent about an hour at the table working, after which I had to go, change back into boring cloths and continue with my day.

 

Somewhat disappointed I didn't get to spend more time, and that I chickened out at the first stop, but am happy I enjoyed myself at the second stop. Ah, the ups and downs...

At least you managed to get out the car and go into a coffee shop in the end, maybe now you’ve achieved this you might want to try your first choice coffee shop again, as you may have seen, i love to frequent coffee shops with my boots and heels on full show and i tend to find nobody takes any notice at all or even cares about what I’m wearing, stick with it and your confidence will increase with every trip which in turn will make you more adventurous which also increases the level of fun you will have, good luck mate 

[AZShoeNut]

On 7/15/2019 at 7:44 PM, hiddenheels said:

For whatever reason when I got there I just sat in the car and didn't feel at all comfortable going in. After a while of killing time, I decided to go elsewhere, so went to another coffee shop closer to home.

Been there, done that. I totally get it. 

Awesome that you not only went in to the second place but you also stayed for a while outside. It is easy to “hide” inside a coffee house but sitting outside, to me, requires a bit more juevos. I have found that I do like outside better. 

Again, way to go. 

Beat,

Larry

[hiddenheels]

Thanks for the encouragement. :) Managed to repeat the experience, although with a 3" chunky boot instead. Similar coffee shop, but elsewhere. Spent about an hour inside, working. I was feeling much better, much more confident, and the heels were under the table, but I didn't make an effort to hide it if someone walked by. Not that I was flaunting it, but more that I was just focusing on my work. It was quite a bit of fun. :)

[dagino]

The 3 - 4" block heel is best for daily use. I also carry to work and to the city to my customers. I'm doing lighting projects and looking at implementation. High heels and thin heels for solemn occasions. I don't wear heels at home because nobody sees them.

Edited July 21, 2019 by dagino

[jeremy1986]

A nice look, @dagino

On 7/18/2019 at 7:43 AM, hernaezjames said:

What size do you guys wear? Is there separate thread for sizes we wear? I wear a US size 9

UK 8/9

[pebblesf]

5 hours ago, dagino said:

The 3 - 4" block heel is best for daily use. I also carry to work and to the city to my customers. I'm doing lighting projects and looking at implementation. High heels and thin heels for solemn occasions. I don't wear heels at home because nobody sees them.

You look great buddy, love the cuffed jeans and powerful boots....You must get many compliments

[hiddenheels]

Updates. Travel has interfered with the daily routine, but has created some interesting opportunities for heeling. A few outings, as usual, in one of my long jeans to hide some of the heel. 

In one outing during my trip, I got dressed in my jeans, with a maroon top, and almost-identical-maroon ankle boots. The boots have I think a 4" chunky heel, and laces. The jeans covered all but about 1" of the heels, and I think it looked quite good overall. Went out, it was early evening, and walked around town for about an hour. I was quite nervous back home, but once I stepped outside, the nervousness and caring how much the shoes show, disappeared. I was quite self-conscious, but had quite a lot of fun walking around. I knew the heels were visible a bit, and I did notice (or imagine?) a few people looking more than they should have, but it was fun. On my way home I stopped by a grocery store to buy food. No one seemed to care, no one commented during the entire trip. 

On another outing, I decided to be a bit more brave. Black chunky heeled 4" boots, blue jeans, dark blue top, think it looked OK. Anyway, decided to visit a nearby city, so bought tickets, and got on the train. While sitting I'm sure the heels were visible, and I think a neighbour did spend a bit too much time looking, but could have been my imagination. Got off the train, walked around the city for a bit (it was full of people), and went to a park to sit and read for an hour. I wasn't advertising the heels, but at the same time felt quite comfortable in them. After my reading, and eating (at McDonalds, where an old lady stared a bit longer than expected), I decided to get back on the train and go home. It was quite a bit of fun! 

A year ago, I was walking around in the dark outside when heeling...

Nerves are still there, but "they're just shoes"! 

[pebblesf]

3 hours ago, hiddenheels said:

Updates. Travel has interfered with the daily routine, but has created some interesting opportunities for heeling. A few outings, as usual, in one of my long jeans to hide some of the heel. 

In one outing during my trip, I got dressed in my jeans, with a maroon top, and almost-identical-maroon ankle boots. The boots have I think a 4" chunky heel, and laces. The jeans covered all but about 1" of the heels, and I think it looked quite good overall. Went out, it was early evening, and walked around town for about an hour. I was quite nervous back home, but once I stepped outside, the nervousness and caring how much the shoes show, disappeared. I was quite self-conscious, but had quite a lot of fun walking around. I knew the heels were visible a bit, and I did notice (or imagine?) a few people looking more than they should have, but it was fun. On my way home I stopped by a grocery store to buy food. No one seemed to care, no one commented during the entire trip. 

On another outing, I decided to be a bit more brave. Black chunky heeled 4" boots, blue jeans, dark blue top, think it looked OK. Anyway, decided to visit a nearby city, so bought tickets, and got on the train. While sitting I'm sure the heels were visible, and I think a neighbour did spend a bit too much time looking, but could have been my imagination. Got off the train, walked around the city for a bit (it was full of people), and went to a park to sit and read for an hour. I wasn't advertising the heels, but at the same time felt quite comfortable in them. After my reading, and eating (at McDonalds, where an old lady stared a bit longer than expected), I decided to get back on the train and go home. It was quite a bit of fun! 

A year ago, I was walking around in the dark outside when heeling...

Nerves are still there, but "they're just shoes"! 

Great job buddy....Doesn't it feel liberating?  You will gain confidence with every outing, have fun....D

[Shyheels]

To be frank, I doubt anybody noticed. I suspect your natural self consciousness is playing you tricks here. People exist in their own bubbles. They’re not Sherlock Holmes picking up the details and minutiae of everything around them. From your description, I would be stunned if anyone noticed a thing 

[maninboots]

20 hours ago, hiddenheels said:

Updates. Travel has interfered with the daily routine, but has created some interesting opportunities for heeling. A few outings, as usual, in one of my long jeans to hide some of the heel. 

In one outing during my trip, I got dressed in my jeans, with a maroon top, and almost-identical-maroon ankle boots. The boots have I think a 4" chunky heel, and laces. The jeans covered all but about 1" of the heels, and I think it looked quite good overall. Went out, it was early evening, and walked around town for about an hour. I was quite nervous back home, but once I stepped outside, the nervousness and caring how much the shoes show, disappeared. I was quite self-conscious, but had quite a lot of fun walking around. I knew the heels were visible a bit, and I did notice (or imagine?) a few people looking more than they should have, but it was fun. On my way home I stopped by a grocery store to buy food. No one seemed to care, no one commented during the entire trip. 

On another outing, I decided to be a bit more brave. Black chunky heeled 4" boots, blue jeans, dark blue top, think it looked OK. Anyway, decided to visit a nearby city, so bought tickets, and got on the train. While sitting I'm sure the heels were visible, and I think a neighbour did spend a bit too much time looking, but could have been my imagination. Got off the train, walked around the city for a bit (it was full of people), and went to a park to sit and read for an hour. I wasn't advertising the heels, but at the same time felt quite comfortable in them. After my reading, and eating (at McDonalds, where an old lady stared a bit longer than expected), I decided to get back on the train and go home. It was quite a bit of fun! 

A year ago, I was walking around in the dark outside when heeling...

Nerves are still there, but "they're just shoes"! 

Big steps in the right direction mate, you’ll find the more you do it the easier it gets, and people’s reaction is probably more your imagination than anything, in any case you will become less caring of others and just go about your own life in your own way, act naturally and don’t feel you’re doing anything wrong, before long we’ll have you strutting around in longer boots on full show over your jeans, most of all enjoy yourself mate 

[hiddenheels]

On 8/21/2019 at 2:25 AM, maninboots said:

Big steps in the right direction mate, you’ll find the more you do it the easier it gets, and people’s reaction is probably more your imagination than anything, in any case you will become less caring of others and just go about your own life in your own way, act naturally and don’t feel you’re doing anything wrong, before long we’ll have you strutting around in longer boots on full show over your jeans, most of all enjoy yourself mate 

Haha, thanks! I doubt I'll be strutting anytime soon (it's not one of my goals), but definitely have more to go, and your support helps a LOT. 

 

OUTING: After my previous outings above, had another chance a few days later. Wore my usual jeans and my current favourite black 4" chunky boots, with about 1" showing. They are very very comfortable. Decided to walk to a nearby store to buy some essentials, about 2km away.  It was early evening, with people going home. Went along the sidewalk with cars and other people passing by, crossed the streets in front of cars, went into the store, shopped for half an hour, checked out, walked home. Probably 2hours total. The first few steps were the hardest. Once I got going, I was happy. A few people probably looked, but could have been my imagination. Felt very liberating, being able to do my own thing. Probably my longest trip so far, in daylight, in a public place. I'm proud of myself. 

 

The sky didn't fall...

Edited August 22, 2019 by hiddenheels

[pebblesf]

6 minutes ago, hiddenheels said:

Haha, thanks! I doubt I'll be strutting anytime soon (it's not one of my goals), but definitely have more to go, and your support helps a LOT. 

 

OUTING: After my previous outings above, had another chance a few days later. Wore my usual jeans and my current favourite black 4" chunky boots, with about 1" showing. They are very very comfortable. Decided to walk to a nearby store to buy some essentials, about 2km away.  It was early evening, with people going home. Went along the sidewalk with cars and other people passing by, crossed the streets in front of cars, went into the store, shopped for half an hour, checked out, walked home. Probably 2hours total. The first few steps were the hardest. Once I got going, I was happy. A few people probably looked, but could have been my imagination. Felt very liberating, being able to do my own thing. Probably my longest trip so far, in daylight, in a public place. I'm proud of myself. 

 

The sky didn't fall...

Nice work buddy....I find that I do the best when I almost forget I'm wearing my boots, which happens more and more...Once I forget that I am wearing boots, all the nervousness/self consciousness goes away also...Surely, a few people noticed, and that is great....I'm sure some guys will notice with envy, wishing they had the courage to openly wear a pair of boots that they have only been able to fantasize about...  An important key to forgetting that you are wearing boots is to wear a pair that you can walk easily and comfortably in....

[jeremy1986]

47 minutes ago, hiddenheels said:

OUTING: After my previous outings above, had another chance a few days later. Wore my usual jeans and my current favourite black 4" chunky boots, with about 1" showing. They are very very comfortable. Decided to walk to a nearby store to buy some essentials, about 2km away.  It was early evening, with people going home. Went along the sidewalk with cars and other people passing by, crossed the streets in front of cars, went into the store, shopped for half an hour, checked out, walked home. Probably 2hours total. The first few steps were the hardest. Once I got going, I was happy. A few people probably looked, but could have been my imagination. Felt very liberating, being able to do my own thing. Probably my longest trip so far, in daylight, in a public place. I'm proud of myself. 

Well done!

[hiddenheels]

It's been a while... August was busy, both in terms of "life" and "heeling". Found time to go to the movies once, in 4" block heels, dark jeans, it wasn't busy so noone cared. I was loving it.

Have also bought some nice shoes along the way. Recently bought a nice pair of boots, 4" heel, but 1" soles which are a bit thick. Aside from the heels, they could pass for guys shoes. Of all places, Walmart, as I accidentally saw them. Very comfortable, barely can feel the lift, and they almost feel like regular guys shoes. I got so excited about the boots that I went to a coffee shop to do my work wearing them. The outfit I think worked beautifully: loose hanging dress shirt, white t-shirt, light coloured jeans, and light-brown boots. Walking I doubt the heels were noticeable, but when sitting I'm sure the entire thing showed. I was a bit nervous but my goal right now is to find a comfortable pair of heeled boots that I can easily walk in, and try to wear it outside as much as possible. I'm sure people notice that they're heels. My goal is to get used to being outside wearing heels, but not worrying about feeling physically uncomfortable, or tripping someplace, or walking weird, etc. Once I'm comfortable being out and about, then I'll experiment, wear higher heels, or stilettos.

[pebblesf]

9 minutes ago, hiddenheels said:

It's been a while... August was busy, both in terms of "life" and "heeling". Found time to go to the movies once, in 4" block heels, dark jeans, it wasn't busy so noone cared. I was loving it.

Have also bought some nice shoes along the way. Recently bought a nice pair of boots, 4" heel, but 1" soles which are a bit thick. Aside from the heels, they could pass for guys shoes. Of all places, Walmart, as I accidentally saw them. Very comfortable, barely can feel the lift, and they almost feel like regular guys shoes. I got so excited about the boots that I went to a coffee shop to do my work wearing them. The outfit I think worked beautifully: loose hanging dress shirt, white t-shirt, light coloured jeans, and light-brown boots. Walking I doubt the heels were noticeable, but when sitting I'm sure the entire thing showed. I was a bit nervous but my goal right now is to find a comfortable pair of heeled boots that I can easily walk in, and try to wear it outside as much as possible. I'm sure people notice that they're heels. My goal is to get used to being outside wearing heels, but not worrying about feeling physically uncomfortable, or tripping someplace, or walking weird, etc. Once I'm comfortable being out and about, then I'll experiment, wear higher heels, or stilettos.

Great work buddy....Yes, take it slowly for sure....It is so important to be able to handle whatever heels you are wearing publicly with confidence....Tripping/stumbling etc is a real confidence killer....  I'm sure you looked great....

[hiddenheels]

OUTING: Had a chance to go downtown yesterday. Found a quiet spot and changed into my ~4.5" chunky boot, my favourite right now. I was pretty comfortable after the initial first steps, and spent ~30 minutes just walking about. The sun was going down, so it was half dark, but crossed streets, walked by others. Didn't get any comments, nor did I hear anything related to me. Didn't want to change out of those shoes, so to go home, got on transit, and came home. It was a thrill!

One unusual experience though. I'm walking along, minding my own business, mainly focusing on not tripping in my heels, when I heard a girl behind me in what I thought was laughter. She kept "laughing", and I was getting more and more self-conscious, but worked hard in not ruffling my feathers. Eventually she passed me, at which point I noticed that she's not laughing but was instead crying. She walked by paying no attention to me. Just another realization that everyone is wrapped up in their own world. I never found out why she was crying...

[Shyheels]

She was jealous of your boots...

Just kidding. People really are off in their own bubbles. 

Edited September 30, 2019 by Shyheels

[hiddenheels]

OUTING: I tried to wear my boots on Sunday, but when it came down to it I talked myself out of it. It wasn't anything fancy, a 4" very chunky-heeled pair of shoes, at first glance you can barely tell they're women's shoes, but they're comfy. Not sure why I didn't go through with it, but I was really disappointed. So I planned this great outing for Monday to make up for it. When it came to going on Monday, I spent a lot of time on positive self-talk, but it was taking forever and my anxiety didn't leave. With time running out, I got a bit pissed off, "they're only shoes!", put on some jeans, a pair of 4.5" bit-thicker-than-stiletto boots and went to a coffee shop to work a bit on my laptop. Not my original plan, but salvaged the opportunity. Once I sat down, the full heel became visible, and there's no way to deny what they are. When I got there, I jumped out of the car without delay, walked in, bought my stuff, sat down at an outside table, and worked on my laptop for an hour. Didn't give myself a chance to analyze things to death in the car. The shop had lots of people in it, and the people going in drive-through could also easily see me. I didn't care.

 

At the end, some conclusions:

- Self-talk sucks. My problem is thinking too much. Paralysis by analysis.

- I felt amazing, standing in the shop, walking around a bit. Top of the world! Powerful and "just right".

- No one said anything.

**THESE** are what I need to remember, not the anxiety caused by the imaginary potential comments from a bunch of random people I will never see again.

[pebblesf]

You are so right HH, sometimes we are "our own worst enemy", as Mom always said.  I love your explanation:  "paralysis by analysis"....So true...

Great work buddy, you are making amazing progress....I has taken me years to make the progress you have accomplished in a few weeks...

[maninboots]

5 hours ago, hiddenheels said:

OUTING: I tried to wear my boots on Sunday, but when it came down to it I talked myself out of it. It wasn't anything fancy, a 4" very chunky-heeled pair of shoes, at first glance you can barely tell they're women's shoes, but they're comfy. Not sure why I didn't go through with it, but I was really disappointed. So I planned this great outing for Monday to make up for it. When it came to going on Monday, I spent a lot of time on positive self-talk, but it was taking forever and my anxiety didn't leave. With time running out, I got a bit pissed off, "they're only shoes!", put on some jeans, a pair of 4.5" bit-thicker-than-stiletto boots and went to a coffee shop to work a bit on my laptop. Not my original plan, but salvaged the opportunity. Once I sat down, the full heel became visible, and there's no way to deny what they are. When I got there, I jumped out of the car without delay, walked in, bought my stuff, sat down at an outside table, and worked on my laptop for an hour. Didn't give myself a chance to analyze things to death in the car. The shop had lots of people in it, and the people going in drive-through could also easily see me. I didn't care.

 

At the end, some conclusions:

- Self-talk sucks. My problem is thinking too much. Paralysis by analysis.

- I felt amazing, standing in the shop, walking around a bit. Top of the world! Powerful and "just right".

- No one said anything.

**THESE** are what I need to remember, not the anxiety caused by the imaginary potential comments from a bunch of random people I will never see again.

Well done mate, if in doubt you can always rely on a good coffee shop, great progress though, you’ll soon be wearing your boots over your jeans before long, keep it up mate 

[jeremy1986]

6 hours ago, hiddenheels said:

OUTING: I tried to wear my boots on Sunday, but when it came down to it I talked myself out of it. It wasn't anything fancy, a 4" very chunky-heeled pair of shoes, at first glance you can barely tell they're women's shoes, but they're comfy. Not sure why I didn't go through with it, but I was really disappointed. So I planned this great outing for Monday to make up for it. When it came to going on Monday, I spent a lot of time on positive self-talk, but it was taking forever and my anxiety didn't leave. With time running out, I got a bit pissed off, "they're only shoes!", put on some jeans, a pair of 4.5" bit-thicker-than-stiletto boots and went to a coffee shop to work a bit on my laptop. Not my original plan, but salvaged the opportunity. Once I sat down, the full heel became visible, and there's no way to deny what they are. When I got there, I jumped out of the car without delay, walked in, bought my stuff, sat down at an outside table, and worked on my laptop for an hour. Didn't give myself a chance to analyze things to death in the car. The shop had lots of people in it, and the people going in drive-through could also easily see me. I didn't care.

 

At the end, some conclusions:

- Self-talk sucks. My problem is thinking too much. Paralysis by analysis.

- I felt amazing, standing in the shop, walking around a bit. Top of the world! Powerful and "just right".

- No one said anything.

**THESE** are what I need to remember, not the anxiety caused by the imaginary potential comments from a bunch of random people I will never see again.

Well done, keep us posted :-) 

[hiddenheels]

Decided to go out Monday morning. Figured I would take care of some shopping, go to a few stores... Was thinking of wearing some 4" block boots, and got started trying to find the best outfit for it, the proper jeans and sweater. However, during the hour I was trying on different combinations (which itself is quite a bit of fun!), I found I was actually much more comfortable in my 4.5" not-quite-stiletto boots. Had a specific set of jeans in mind, but found that it was too long, the end of the jeans were almost dragging on the floor, and when I'm walking around the jeans tend to slide down just a bit, causing the end of the jeans to drag on the floor, something I really don't like. So I rolled up the bottom of the jeans an inch, making the length perfect. Looking at it, I quite liked it, with the light-blue stripe at the bottom of the jeans.

At the end, when I was happy with it, the super-annoying self-talk started, but this time I recognized where it will lead, and I shut it down. Got in the car, went to one of the stores, parked, got out, and decided to check out a dollar store which was across the parking lot. Walked over, walked in, looked around. I felt so powerful in those heels, so perfect. Was just a tiny bit self-conscious. I knew the heels showed, and anyone looking would recognize something is not quite right... Bought some stuff, paid and left. Went into a grocery store, spent ~30 minutes buying stuff, paid and got back out. Drove to a coffee shop, worked for an hour.

Usually it's very difficult leave home. Once out of my house, it's difficult to get out of the car. Once sitting in the coffee shop, it's also hard to stand up and walk out. But today things went splendidly, walked around, did what I needed to. Came home, and just smiled to myself.

[Cali]

And the world keep spinning. Once you stop beating yourself up, it much easier to enjoy life (and heels).

[RonC]

Good for you!

[jeremy1986]

Well done @hiddenheels - not so hidden anymore!