Stilletto2004 Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 The more I have been venturing out in heels, the more I realize that 'they' don't care. I have no idea who 'they' are, but for a long time I was worried about what 'they' might think. Now granted, I'm not walking around in overly feminine shoes, like my favorite pair of red platforms. Man I like those shoes! But anyway, I've been wearing heeled boots and oxford style shoes almost every day, everywhere I go. At 6'5" in just my pantyhose, I thought I was going to stick out like a sore thumb. Nah. Not even a glance. Even my buddies don't seem to care. So whoever 'they' is, please stay out of my head!! Mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimnj3 Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 Gotta agree with you! Need to get those "they" outta my head also. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mlroseplant Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 I have to agree with you. I've had exactly the same experience. I've been "heeling" for about 6 months now, although up until 1 month ago, my heels were pretty tame. Now that I'm wearing more "outrageous" shoes (read that as taller and thinner heels), "they" still don't seem to give a toss. I wish I had done this years ago. I'm glad you're having positive experiences, Mike! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stilletto2004 Posted January 3, 2013 Author Share Posted January 3, 2013 Thanks guys. It's hard to explain, but I'd guess, relaxing? I don't know. I just feel better. I think it has to do with coming out from hiding. Maybe refreshing is a better word. I sometimes wish I didn't have the desire to wear heels, I mean it'd be so much easier! I'm not one to be shy, or ask for what I want, so here I go. I'm actually happier when wearing heels. Or maybe I am just 'getting away with something.' I don't know. Mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mlroseplant Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 Thanks guys. It's hard to explain, but I'd guess, relaxing? I don't know. I just feel better. I think it has to do with coming out from hiding. Maybe refreshing is a better word. I sometimes wish I didn't have the desire to wear heels, I mean it'd be so much easier! I'm not one to be shy, or ask for what I want, so here I go. I'm actually happier when wearing heels. Or maybe I am just 'getting away with something.' I don't know. Mike, I do not know how to describe it either, but I think we are thinking the same thing. Suddenly, I'm nicer to my wife, more patient with my kids, and generally happier than I've felt in years. It almost seems silly. James. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freestyle75 Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 It's hard to explain, but I'd guess, relaxing? I don't know. I just feel better. I think it has to do with coming out from hiding. I guess the answer is quite simple and very obvious. Whether it's heels, skirts, or anything else that you are not "supposed" to wear, when you first do, there is a feeling of doing something wrong. You want to do something that is not accepted by society, at least you think so. When first going out in heels, you are very self-aware (at least I was) - you look around whether people ("they") notice, and whether you are getting the negative feedback you expect to get for doing something so utterly and completely "wrong". Then you find out: Nobody cares (to some extent unfortunately so, because most people nowadays don't care about anything - we are living in a somewhat "anonymous" society). Hardly anybody notices. The world doesn't stop spinning. It's just a simple piece of clothing. That's when you are getting more relaxed. You can step out, wear what you like, and that's a positive feeling. It's liberating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stilletto2004 Posted January 3, 2013 Author Share Posted January 3, 2013 Very well said Freestyle75. Thank you. Mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeffB Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 I agree that "they" don't care. It's as I've said here for years that 95 percent of the public, a.k.a. "they" are too wrapped up in their own lives and affairs to give a man in heels and/or a skirt the time of day, and those who do notice never bother to say anything. Oh, sure, they notice, we'd be horribly naive to think otherwise, but very, VERY rarely will "they" say anything to you. I don't want to LOOK like a woman, I just want to DRESS like a woman! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FreshinHeels Posted January 3, 2013 Share Posted January 3, 2013 I agree that "they" don't care. It's as I've said here for years that 95 percent of the public, a.k.a. "they" are too wrapped up in their own lives and affairs to give a man in heels and/or a skirt the time of day, and those who do notice never bother to say anything. Oh, sure, they notice, we'd be horribly naive to think otherwise, but very, VERY rarely will "they" say anything to you. Exatamundo! In the process of becoming the person I always was...but didn't dare to let her come out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve63130 Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 Mike, Well, I care! Please put your flat-heeled penny loafers and white socks back on! Thank you. BWAHAHAHA! Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyinHeels Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 Stilletto2004 et al, Ah, that light immediately to the east of me across Lake Michigan isn't just the sun rising but an enlightened soul in Grand Rapids who sees the "they" is largely an imagined bogeyman who never seems to materialize. There ARE far more things distracting people like their gadgets with viral videos about nothing, or cellphone conversations about nothing, or even the occasional substantive topic like steady employment (always on everypne's mind in job-hungry Michigan) for "they" to notice a man in heels long enough to even compute what the hell "they" just saw. You wake up one day and you realize, "hey, where the hell are my balls anyway, it's just footwear with an extra strap or piece of rubber or whatever and I'm going to wear what I want because I can: and you step out out of your cocoon and nothing bad happens. If JeffB can prance around Philadelphia in a skirt and heels in continually come out in one piece then you know it can be done. He is a true freestyler but most here just want to figure out how to wear their heels mixed with their regular wardrobe. Some of us mix more girls' things with guys' things than others but what we all want is to go about our business and enjoy our lives as human beings. "Dignity without drama" is what I'd call this movement if you'd like to think of it as such. This is a small sliver of a larger picture. Whether it was blacks fighting to NOT have to move to the back of a nearly empty bus to cede thee theor seat to a white person or the brown man wishing he didn't have to get off the streets when the "sunset alarm" went off in farm communities around the USA in the 1950's or women fighting for the right not be beaten up in ther homes by their husbands or those of the GLBT community to be treated as equals under the law with regards to marriage, education, and health benefits these arte all examples of people standing up to live dignified lives without the drama of persecution and ridicule. I am not, lest the words fool you, a classic Liberal rather I am a Libertarian who believes in practical governance which includes as many groups as can be imagined in order to form a better country. Safety and security with an effective system of justice that swiftly punishes those that violate our peace and laws, fiscal responsibility at all levels of government, and finally to see concentrated efforts by "government by the people, for the people, and of the people" work to improve the infrastructure, education system, empoyment opportunities, and overall quality of life of Americans rather than squandering billions on other countries all in a republic that will stop at nothing to ensure as many people as possible that choose to be Americans can thrive and survuve in a society that enshrines the right to live a dignified life. This belief is the flame within me that I never let go out. All the examples I cited above were groups of people yearning to lead dignified lives in the face of bullies. I once had the crap kicked out of me at the age of 11 and never forgot how I felt that night or the in the days that followed. My father then taught me I'd need to put up with it and learn to not take it ever again. I know "hate" is a very strong word that should be sparingly used but I'll use it here for emphasis. I HATE bullies whenever I see them and no matter what form they take and, I'm telling you, the fires of hell know no boundaries when I sharpen my pen to pursue the bully. All those who have fought for those who just wanted to lead dignified lives are counting on all of us to rise up for dignity. It is not a liberal or conservative or even a uniquely American thing to do. It is, however, the absolute human thing to do. One by one they came out from hiding and found they were indeed a crowd in hiding no longer. These last words are not quoted because they are my own. Just the simple but sincere thoughts of This Human who cherishes liberty and dignity for all. Best wishes my Michigan friend, best wishes to all. HappyinHeels Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeffB Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 HappyinHeels: Me? Prance? Well, I wouldn't go that far, but I know what you mean. Heh! But seriously, I'm very careful about where I go on my little adventures because there's areas of Philadelphia that makes Iraq and Afghanistan look like Mayberry. Dignity without drama, that's a darn good way to describe what we do, all I ask from life is to go where I like, dressed the way I like, and, for the most part, I do as "they" give me a wide berth or just plain leave me alone. The fear we have of "they" and how they might respond to what we choose to wear can be crippling, but when they don't respond, we feel better, then wonder what we had to fear in the first place. I don't want to LOOK like a woman, I just want to DRESS like a woman! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stilletto2004 Posted January 4, 2013 Author Share Posted January 4, 2013 Wow HappyInHeels, what a great reply! I love it! You've got a great way with words. Very insightful. Thank you! Mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve63130 Posted January 5, 2013 Share Posted January 5, 2013 Gotta agree with you, HappyInHeels! Very well stated. Let us know when you decide to run for Congress. You're a (high heel) shoe-in! lol Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyinHeels Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 All, The humble servant returns his thanks for the nice words. These passions for what is right and just burn within each one of us but may take much longer to show themselves in a way that benefits others let alone the individual. But, I believe, forums like ours serve the right and just cause of bringing together a community many of us didn't know existed or only suspected. Once we see screen names and locations attached to these writings then the individual feels compelled to emerge from the cocoon and sees a crowd has formed of like-minded brothers and sisters. A community is born and the human spirit has advanced. I don't know if I'll ever run for office but the idea has crossed my mind more than once and several friends have suggested it over the years. I have enormous reservations about our two-party system. Americans of all stripes want to see problems not analyzed ad nauseum but actually solved the way we used to. Think back to a single year in history. One country struggling with poverty and unemployment was literally jolted from its neutrality in the final month of 1941. That country responded by splitting the atom at the University of Chicago, building a road to Alaska in nine months when engineers doubted it could be bult in under two years, turned the tide of WWII in both the Pacific and the Atlantic while switching its entire industrial and manufacturing might towards the single goal of defeating two common enemies. 1942 shines as an example of how much one country can get done when it really wants to. Today the common enemy is indebtedness at every level. It can be solved if only we'll try. HappyinHeels Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Shoe Posted January 7, 2013 Share Posted January 7, 2013 The only place 'they' have ever existed is in your own head. Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stilletto2004 Posted January 8, 2013 Author Share Posted January 8, 2013 I completely agree. I had these same demons in my head when it came to wearing pantyhose openly with shorts. 25 years ago! Mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JSLS Posted January 9, 2013 Share Posted January 9, 2013 "They" don't care at all. The idea that heels will be seen, I think, comes with the thought that they'll be ridiculed or whatever. Not at all. No-one cares. I went out in heels for the first time yesterday, and was noticed a couple of times, but the main one was a couple of barmen. They talked about my shoes, and seemed more interested than anything else. Maybe they could use some extra height? Haha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 I agree, cause in the end, IF "they" dont like my boots, well they can stick it where the sun dont shine (you know all what I mean too.) its MY choice I dont recall ever ASKING for "their" approval in the 1st. place. sorry for the brashness, but point must be made on ALL of our behalf. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 Me and my wife were in a restaurant. I had on my wedges, that I have on now. She said I don't like those shoes. people are going to notice. I said, look around, people don't notice and they don't really care. I try not to wear these with her but I was going to get about 18hrs in them . You are right though. As long as you are very conservative, people just don't notice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curt Posted January 23, 2013 Share Posted January 23, 2013 18 hours in them? Cool! If I get an office job or start my fashion business sometime, ill be in them 18 hours. I've slept in heels quite often. Why do women give you a hard time about heels? Are they concerned about you or them. I'm not a girl(I wish I was) but if I was, I wouldn't care. It takes a lot of guts for a man to wear heels, especially if he looks manly. I can get away with quite a lot because I have a feminine figure and long blonde hair. Been called a woman many times. Wearing pumps, boots and womens clothes is a walk in the park for me. Womens clothes and shoes are just styled better than mens. Most of the time people don't notice, unless your heels are loud as hell. Even then I don't care. In the 15th century men were the heel wearers. They were royalty that wore them, peasants were forbidden! Remember that when you lose the nerve to wear what you want. We have an opportunity to dress the way we want. If someone doesn't like it, then its too bad for them. Maybe they are just jealous that 0will look better than them! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HighHeelLover86 Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 I wish I lived where y'all do. I use to wear my boots out in public but on my third outting I was confronted in a very negative way. I won't go into too many details but suffice to say, being chased back to your car by a few guys with guns is not the kind of excitement I want in my life. Now I have moved recently to a much larger and more metropolitan area in recent months but that event still haunts me. Life is like a good shoe store, the more variety the better! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amanda Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 I have no idea who 'they' are, They are us Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimnj3 Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 I spent Tuesday running errands along with a dentist appointment in my avatar boots. Stopped for gas and got a good look at from the fellow filling his truck next to me but that was it. Not even a facial expression. At the dentist office spent 15 minutes in the waiting room with my legs crossed and boots in full view. I dn't think anybody noticed. Went in with the hygentist and while in the chair my boots with the 5" heels were on full display. Thought maybe she would comment so I could start a conversation about her thoughts but again, not a word. The dentist came in for a final check and he also didn't say a word. Off to the grocery store for some shopping without a cart so all was on display. Only saw one double take look from a younger women but that was it. These boot make a nice fairly loud click/clack while walking and this to doesn't seem to attract much attention although I enjoy it. All in all another great day of heeling which I hadn't done in a while. I get a real rush while wearing my heels. If someone is still hesitant please just go out and give it a go. I think you will find "they" don't really notice and "they" are just in your own head! Jim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve63130 Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 Jim, Great post! Thanks for sharing. We are often our own worst enemy. Act confidently and you'll be amazed at how many people don't notice or say anything. I always am. HighHeelLover86, Sorry to learn of your unfortunate incident. In order that we could learn more from it, would you mind sharing more details? Where were you when it happened? What time of day was it? Was there alcohol involved? Any other pertinent details that would enlighten us? While such an encounter has never happened to a lot of us, we should be alert to the fact that it can happen. Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HighHeelLover86 Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 I was downtown in my hometown. A small town to be sure, (less than 8,000 people). Very old money in that town, and very VERY conservative. my hometown actually has an organization whose dream is to break SC away from the US and make it a religious state! Yea, fun place. Anyway I was just running my errands when these fellows come out of a shop just about on top of me. They got real smart about me getting in their way when one of them happened to notice my footwear. Next thing I know I'm getting acused of being a "flaming fag" and other such insults and they start shoving me around. Thankfully I was able to get out from under them and make a break for it for I knew if I hadn't I was gonna get the crap beat outta me. I guessing atleast two of the guys must have had concealed weapons permits because, being a firearms fan myself I knew exactly what that "chuck chick" sound was behind me. Got back to my car and managed to get inside and crank her up but I almost had to run over one of the fellows just to get away. As soon as I got home I called 911 to relay to the police what had happened. The cops apparrently never did anything about it though. Life is like a good shoe store, the more variety the better! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rick24 Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 I thought Irish people where bad, but you should move out of that state. I would, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeffB Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 I thought Irish people where bad, but you should move out of that state. I would, I second that emotion. South Carolina is about as progressive as a third world country. As a person of color, I'd probably feel safer in downtown Baghdad than I would in SC. By all means you should leave, HHL. I don't want to LOOK like a woman, I just want to DRESS like a woman! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve63130 Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 Thanks for the details. You really were put in a bad situation. It's a good example of a bad example, and we should always be careful when heeling. I've often said that the pioneers were the ones with arrows in their backs, but you came close to making that a reality! Glad you're still with us! Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AZShoeNut Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 I was downtown in my hometown. A small town to be sure, (less than 8,000 people). Very old money in that town, and very VERY conservative. my hometown actually has an organization whose dream is to break SC away from the US and make it a religious state! Yea, fun place. Anyway I was just running my errands when these fellows come out of a shop just about on top of me. They got real smart about me getting in their way when one of them happened to notice my footwear. Next thing I know I'm getting acused of being a "flaming fag" and other such insults and they start shoving me around. Thankfully I was able to get out from under them and make a break for it for I knew if I hadn't I was gonna get the crap beat outta me. I guessing atleast two of the guys must have had concealed weapons permits because, being a firearms fan myself I knew exactly what that "chuck chick" sound was behind me. Got back to my car and managed to get inside and crank her up but I almost had to run over one of the fellows just to get away. As soon as I got home I called 911 to relay to the police what had happened. The cops apparrently never did anything about it though. Wow! Sounds like those guys have not grown much beyond cave dwellers. I mean really it sounds like the actions of an 8th grade group of bullies. I am gald that you got away safely. I have a bad knee and I don't know that I can run that well in heels these days. Best, Larry Life is short... Wear the bleeping shoes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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