quidam Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 I've read much in many threads of this forum, about men's heeling mainstreaming, and ideas of that sort. I want to ask your opinions, ideas, etc. on the folowing: Would you encourage your male kids to "free-styling" fashion?. Would you somehow encourage your male kids to heeling?. How would you do so?. And here are my first two cents on this issue: I am a single, heterosexual man - no kids that I know!. If I had a son, the same as if I had a daughter, for health issues I would buy them any heels - not even kitty-heels, until their teens. But if my son liked some shoes not labeled as "boys", that could pass as unisex with some ease, I wouldn't doubt in buying them for him - say flats, ballerinas, maryjanes, boots(ies), sandals, sneakers, loafers, etc. When grown up, as a teenager with a developing or developed taste for fashion and style, I wouldn't oppose if he would like to wear "femmier" shoes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ilikekicks Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 I've read much in many threads of this forum, about men's heeling mainstreaming, and ideas of that sort. I want to ask your opinions, ideas, etc. on the folowing: Would you encourage your male kids to "free-styling" fashion?. Would you somehow encourage your male kids to heeling?. How would you do so?. I would encourage my children to wear what they feel most comfortable in. Not just in shoes, but their whole attire. So long as they dont have those jeans hanging around their knees with their underware shown off to the planet.. so long as they are presentable and respectful towards others ( no offensive/disrespectful slogans on t-shirts ), I couldnt ask for anything more. -ILK REPEATEDLY ARGUMENTATIVE, INSULTING AND RUDE. BANNED FOR LIFE. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meganiwish Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 I brought my son up to comfortable and happy with himself. I think he is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 My lad used (uses) eye liner. Bit of a surprise first time but no issues. They must take in consideration of others, their issues and to be able to handle it. Al Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shafted Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 Not being a parent myself, I wouldn't actively encourage it, but I would support a son of mine who wanted to wear them. Depending on age though, I would point out possible repercussions for doing so. That way they can make and informed decision as to whether it is for them or not. Shafted, the boots that is! View my gallery here http://www.hhplace.o...afteds-gallery/ or view my heeling thread here http://www.hhplace.org/topic/3850-new-pair-of-boots-starts-me-serious-street-heeling/ - Pm me if you want fashion advice or just need someone to talk to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Hinch Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 Informed decisions are good. Anyway I really did like the story about the boy that liked to try on his mothers heels so when he turned sixteen the mother got him his own set of heels and they went out shopping. As for health reasons I would not forbid heel wearing but explain about bone and joint growth and strongly suggest not pushing the limit for too many hours at a time. Now if anyone knows me I would prohibit those cursed pointy toe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
niknhose Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 I agree with ILK on the pants down around the knees bit. My son can't keep his pants up . But if he wanted to wear heels, so be it as long as he doesn't steal mine. I try to let my kids be themselves and dress how they want as long as it is respectable. I also try to make sure that they accept others for who they are not how they dress. -Nikki Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FreshinHeels Posted July 30, 2012 Share Posted July 30, 2012 Ye can't really tell you're son not to do it when ye wear heells yourself. Just like with girls don't start to young. In the end I'll want him to be happy if that involves heels so be it. In the process of becoming the person I always was...but didn't dare to let her come out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hhboots Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 I have both a son and daughter. My son hasn't yet shown interest in heels or anything else that is considered 'different', but he is just about to start into his teen years, so we'll see how it goes. I really doubt he will... as I see it, during teen years, is when your children will try their hardest to NOT be like their parent Of course we eventually figure out that we are a lot more like our parents than we might want. Anyway, if he does show interest in it in the next few years, I would probably initially discourage him from doing it until he is an adult, since usually kids are very mean about that sort of thing, and this is when he would be at highest risk of being ridiculed by other kids. However, if he really decides he wants to do this, I would eventually in the end support him and encourage him to express himself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Shoe Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 OK, I don't want to sound confrontational but ILK said that his kid could wear whatever he felt comfortable in except baggy jeans and tees with disrespectful slogans. What if that was what he felt comfortable in? The problem with being a parent is that you tend to become one. I used to say things to my daughter when she wa growing up and then think "gawd, I sound just like my Dad."! I did try to be a particularly cool and funky dad and to some extent I [apparently] succeeded. As far as the question goes, other than what is expected by society your children should be allowed to wear whatever they like except for heels or anything that's going to sexualise them. IMO no one, male or female, under the age of 15 should wear heels. Even after that time, the amount of time they spend in heels should be rationed until they've stopped growing. I would be proud of my son (if I had one) if he wanted to wear heels and express his individuality through his dress sense but if he dressed like a complete square that would be fine too. I would never force him to be a free-styler. Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shafted Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 OK, I don't want to sound confrontational but ILK said that his kid could wear whatever he felt comfortable in except baggy jeans and tees with disrespectful slogans. What if that was what he felt comfortable in? I think the point ILK was trying to make is to keep it within the realms of common decency. Many of the people who wear these baggy clothes have a tendency to let it all hang out. Just say no to crack. Shafted, the boots that is! View my gallery here http://www.hhplace.o...afteds-gallery/ or view my heeling thread here http://www.hhplace.org/topic/3850-new-pair-of-boots-starts-me-serious-street-heeling/ - Pm me if you want fashion advice or just need someone to talk to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rockpup Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 My dad started and ran his own business that my brother and I now run. It was drilled into me that we have to maintain a presentable appearance to retain customers, so I never had any interest in tattoo's or piercings. I'm not sure how my life would have turned out had I been allowed to develop and explore my own style openly, rather then having to try girls shoes in hiding (since age 5). The world has gotten more accepting as far as guys, esp younger guys, pushing gender boundaries. I will not be having kids, but if my nephews wanted to explore their feminine side I'd support them and stand up for them to my brother and sisters in law. I'd recommend that they not wear stilletto's in public, but if they wanted a pair for dress up in the house I doubt that would be a problem. (formerly known as "JimC") Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 Returning back we (Jo and I) seperated about 15 years ago with 4 children, my son O is the eldest at 11, the youngest of 3 daughters is now 18. My current marriage is approching 3 years after getting together some 4 months or so after the breakup and moving in at 12 months. In reality the situation didn't come up but as I said he is a bit of a goth, eyeliner, some piercings and tattoos, sometimes with the "baggy" jeans. They all know I don't like tattoos and won't have one but I accept what they have done and it's their choice. We get on very well. Some are fantastic, A has a music symbol between her sholders, G has stars runing down from shoulder to waist. The last few years has both opened my eyes to understanding personalities as with their dress and also many aspects of our members here. I would support any child/teen/young adult that was having gender or dress issues, trying to be inpartial and understanding. I think to use the word guide would be wrong, it is their life, it must be their ultimate discission to made without bias. I am not qualified to cause an error at this level. Al Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HHeeler Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 Encourage? Never. In fact, I would hope that particular genetic/environmental trait passes my son by, and I would be perfectly comfortable in my hypocrisy. Because as much fun as heels are, and they are great fun, they complicate life and relationships for many (most?). And as a parent, I simply want the best, most uncomplicated life for my children. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hhboots Posted July 31, 2012 Share Posted July 31, 2012 Encourage? Never. In fact, I would hope that particular genetic/environmental trait passes my son by, and I would be perfectly comfortable in my hypocrisy. Because as much fun as heels are, and they are great fun, they complicate life and relationships for many (most?). And as a parent, I simply want the best, most uncomplicated life for my children. Good point HHeeler. My interpretation of the question's meaning was more along the lines of: "would you be supportive of your son if he chose to...", rather than: "would you influence or persuade your son to do this...". So with that clarification: -Would I be supportive of my son's own choices: ABSOLUTELY. -Would I persuade my son to do this: HECK NO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meganiwish Posted August 1, 2012 Share Posted August 1, 2012 Mine have reached an age where it's none of my business. I wish the boy would shave properly, but I wouldn't say anything, unless I wanted to show solidarity with his girlfriend. But it's never been my place to encourage them to do anything (except their homework), though I'm behindthem in everything they want to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ilikekicks Posted August 4, 2012 Share Posted August 4, 2012 (edited) OK, I don't want to sound confrontational but ILK said that his kid could wear whatever he felt comfortable in except baggy jeans and tees with disrespectful slogans. What if that was what he felt comfortable in? 1 can of charcoal starter fluid. 1 55gallon metal drum 1 good burn session. If there was a protest of ANY kind, ' boot camp ' would ensue. Im not a very strict person and I do feel all should have liberty until it provokes others or shows a blatant disregard towards others. If I had a child that decided the whole world should see their skivvies all the time with their jeans hanging around their knees, I would send them into public without any pants and advise them ' you wanted everyone to see your skivvies, now they can '. My kids would not have on T-shirts with slogans like ' Gays are going to hell ', ' F the police ', ' Niggas belong back on plantations '. I would simply advise my child such is not tolerated and uncalled for regardless of how ' cool ' they might think such is. Thus, I would burn such ' trash ' and probably make them watch as such happened. Being 100% honest, if someone needs to have slogans of such disdainful remarks, or bare their skivvies to the world.. They dont need clothes, they need either an asswhooping from the individuals being belittled by the slogans or a headshrinker. I would say they need a headshrinker more as they surely have a low self esteem or picture of themselves. I think the point ILK was trying to make is to keep it within the realms of common decency. Many of the people who wear these baggy clothes have a tendency to let it all hang out. Just say no to crack. The point of ' Common Decency ' is exactly what I was speaking for/about. The trends are going downwards as those knee-hanging jeans with the skivvies showing.. well.. lately , in my area.. The ' junk is on display '. Great big old patches of pubic hair. Down went the waist of the jeans and now the skivvies are following! I should ' tolerate ' that and ' respect ' someone elses sense of ' fashion '? Edited August 4, 2012 by ilikekicks REPEATEDLY ARGUMENTATIVE, INSULTING AND RUDE. BANNED FOR LIFE. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hiheellover23 Posted August 5, 2012 Share Posted August 5, 2012 As far as the question goes I wouldn't encourage my children to do anything unless they had questions. Now if it was something that he wanted to do then I would encourage him but I would also explain to him the baggage that comes along with that as far as the criticism and ridicule. Also let him now that he or she has to gain the strength, and confidence to go against the odd and naysayers. Despite what others would say I would let them know that I love them and that I am in their corner. What ya see is what ya get no more or less!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
radiodave Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 Tough to say, since I don't have kids. A lot would depend on what his mom thinks about my own heeling. If he wanted to wear women's sandals that weren't too outlandish, I'd probably say OK. If he was in his teens and was curious about what high heels were like to wear, I'd get mom involved and see if she has strong feelings against it. If she's not against it, I'd admire his courage for speaking up and thinking for himself, and help him pick out a pair for himself. If he tried them and finds out that he wants to wear them all the time, then... I don't know. I think I'd have to say no to wearing them to school, lest he get sent home. If he wanted to wear them around the house, I wouldn't mind. If he wanted to wear them outside the house, I'd make sure he really understands what he's doing and that not everyone is going to think it's cool. It would also depend on what mom thinks. If she ain't happy, then nobody's happy. I'd still make sure he knows that I still love him even if he wants to wear heels, and I hope mom would do the same. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kikepa Posted August 16, 2012 Share Posted August 16, 2012 There are so many negative repercussions of violating societal norms that no, I would not encourage my children to do so. I would always, however, love them for who they are, and stand by their choices, within reason. Those who really care about us don't make a fuss about what we wear. Those who make a fuss about what we wear really don't care about us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foxyheels Posted August 17, 2012 Share Posted August 17, 2012 My lad is quite shy although he is 6'1" at only 14 so I can't see him going against the normal type of clothing for his age group. However I wouldn't put any restrictions on what he chooses to wear, it's up to him and I would be hypocritical if I did. He knows I wear heels as he often goes out with us when I have my 4" street heeling boots on and it's no issue but he doesn't like my footwear in general as it's 'old men's in his eyes. He only likes them when I wear my Adidas trainers as they are cool. High heels are the shoes I choose to put on, respect my choice as I repect yours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heelster Posted August 17, 2012 Share Posted August 17, 2012 Would I encourage?? No Would I let him - - He's about out of college, he can do what he wants. I really don't think it will be an issue for him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tifa Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 I am trying to bring up my son (currently 5) with as open a mind as I can. I would never try to encourage a specific behavior or dress sense but to teach him that whatever he wants to do (within reason, obviously) I would support him. I am TV and have the full support of my partner and we have discussed this at length with the same outcome. He already knows that it is not normal for a man to dress in women's clothes and that doing so can cause adverse reactions, and yes, some people really do heckle in front of my son. (hope that wasn't too much of an unintelligible ramble!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba136 Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 Would I encourage my son to wear heels? If he decided to wear them, I wouldn't encourage him but I wouldn't discourage him, either. I wouldn't say a word. I'd just let his desire run it's course and should he not "out grow" it, I still wouldn't mention it. Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Hinch Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 Tough to say, since I don't have kids. A lot would depend on what his mom thinks about my own heeling. . I think I'd have to say no to wearing them to school, lest he get sent home. even if he wants to wear heels, and I hope mom would do the same. No need for that to be a problem just get the most inocent non girley mid high or hidden heel. The bullies are the problem at school but being sent home just tell the teachers to mind their own business the kid han narrow feet and boys shoes do not fit and hurt his toes. That is if that cover story will work and for me it is true. One pair of workboots are women's wide same as men's and I got them because that thrift store is low price not like GW but more like SVdP or less. Or even SA. So anyway a wide shoe lets my toes hit the end and a narrow shoe feels good. But even with that two inch or less for school would be safe. And probably hedden heels or wedges. And there is another thing is that some normal kids end up going to LGBT school just to get away from the bullies and in a school like heels might fit niecly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SF Posted August 26, 2012 Share Posted August 26, 2012 no..... "Why should girls have all the fun!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gudulitooo Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 (edited) Would you encourage your male kids ... No. It would reduce their boldness to wear heels by themselves Edited August 27, 2012 by Gudulitooo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kikepa Posted September 17, 2012 Share Posted September 17, 2012 There are so many negative repercussions of violating societal norms that no, I would not encourage my children to do so. I would always, however, love them for who they are, and stand by their choices, within reason. I'd like to amend this a bit... If my children ever had any inclinations as we do, yes, I'd support them. When I said I wouldn't encourage them, I simply meant I would not push them in this direction. Love and support them? Of course! Hugely. Those who really care about us don't make a fuss about what we wear. Those who make a fuss about what we wear really don't care about us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maninheels Posted September 23, 2012 Share Posted September 23, 2012 I do not ever "encourage" my children to do anything other than to be who they are. I always have and always will support my children in the person that they are and hope that they never feel they have to hide their personality to fit-in anywhere. So the real answer to the question is that I would not ever encourage them to wear heels but I would support them if that was their choice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 I think my youngest stepdaughter and a couple of her friends is planning to X dress her boyfriend. That is between them. I may assist in a certain area only. It's their game not mine. Al Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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