Waiting For The Rainbow Of Acceptance

[Histiletto]

For those who are waiting for society to bow down to the males that wish to publicly wear heels, you will be wasting your life away in the private hallways and the confined pathways of secrecy. If you were to look back over the last centurial time span, nothing changes without some kind of major push from considerably large movements that were started by the few who saw the need for change. If ever there was a ripened time for male heelers to let their high heels show, it is now. You can't expect to change anything, if you haven't made an effort to let others become aware of its importance in your life. When more people realize how massive secret heeling has been and how many men are actively wearing heels both privately and publicly, the stigma of men in heels will become mute.

[Dawn HH]

Good point there for us all to ponder about. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[NH Heels]

I think you've made some very good points. If we all take steps to get what we want, no matter how small, eventually we can get there. One of my views is that if I have to see people out shopping in pajama bottoms or sweat pants and slippers or those dreadful ugg boots, then I should be able to wear what I like and feel comfortable in too. It's only fair!

[roniheels]

I have worn high heels for years. I wear them more in public now (feminine stiletto high heels) thanks in part to the inspiration I have received from reading the posts and viewing photos of men who wear high heels in public and share their stories with everyone. I know others have been inspired to wear high heels in public for these very reasons. The more of us who continue to wear high heels in public every day will show society that fashion and self expression is acceptable. Yes, many will not like the sight. Others won't care one way or the other. And others will be inspired to express themselves, whether it be wearing high heels, or some other type of self-expression.

[johnieheel]

Thank you for that Histiletto. I have always said, if more of us would just get out there in our heels, once a person or persons, has seen it, it won't be new to them or a shock anymore. Like you say, more of us really need to forget about what others think and start enjoying life like we are intended to enjoy it, in our heels!

[scrappycoco]

Everyone one here is spot on. I mean women didn't gain the acceptance to wear what they want with out just doing it. They didn't gain the right to fight along side there male counter part's in the military without saying "Hay look I can do this just as well as you!". Women being the under dog so to speak have had to fight for there right's to be a "Person" not seen as someone inferior to male's. Like they where so many year's ago! I think for most guy's and wearing heels or other thing's it comes down to the fact that 1. They where raised by there parent's to say it is wrong for a man to wear heels and stuff. 2. Men are so afraid that once there buddy's find out they will be made fun of. 3. They are also afraid that if there employer find's out that they choose to be diffrent that they might think he is a perv. or a pedifile and he may loose his job over it. I could sit here and ramble on for hour's about my thought's. I feel it wont be until you start seeing heel's and skirt's made just for men that men will truely be free to just be a "Person"!

[hh4evr1]

I agree. The more men who wear heels in public the more acceptance there will be.

[Steve63130]

We have already started to see this trend happening in hosiery for men. As many of you know, in 1998 I started to develop a line of men's tights, pantyhose, stockings, and socks, made very similarly to women's products, but made for men's dimensions and anatomy, and made with better quality materials for better durability (men think their clothes should last forever, but women are used to the idea that pantyhose are disposable). There are a lot of guys today who will dare to wear their legwear exposed, either under trousers (uncovered by socks) or even more exposed under shorts. They, too, realize that society's acceptance will only change if the public sees the trend and is exposed to guys in hosiery over and over, just like with earrings, starting twenty years ago. (For more on the parallels of the legwear trend in fashion freedom, see www.nylongene.com and www.activskin.com ).

There is one major difference between hosiery and heels for guys: hose can be worn for fashion or for benefits (compression, leg health, chafing protection, warmth, etc.). High heels are primarily fashion. More guys are comfortable with the idea of wearing hose publically for the benefits, because if they're asked, they can state they're wearing for the benefits, and feel more legitimate doing so. Fewer are willing to admit they just simply like the look or feel. On the other foot, with high heels, it's mostly look and feel. The benefits are fewer and less convincing, mostly perhaps because guys in general don't have to be taller. ("I'm wearing them so I can reach the cookies on the top shelf without standing on a stepladder, dear." - doesn't carry a lot of convincing truth, does it? LOL).

So we have to suck it up and admit that we like wearing heels for the looks and feel, and if society doesn't like it, too bad, get over it. We like it and we're not going to stop wearing what we like.

Steve

[Histiletto]

Thanks for all the comments. The world isn't going to change for you or me. You have to live your life. Nobody else has the ability to stand in the heels you're wearing. You know what you like. As long as it not curtailing someone elses personal space or abilities, it's none of their concern. No one else has any right to control your life experiences with out your approval. I know this sounds a bit callus, but if those around you really care for your well-being, they will support your need for feeling whole and complete.

[benno]

Great positive thread guys! I've always thought that Masculinism (as in the male equivalent of Feminism) will be about men becoming more conscious of the roles they can play with in life. In a way as men we are lucky. Women had so much to fight for. They were asking for basic rights i.e to vote and for equal pay and opportunities. On the other hand all we are are asking for is the right to play dressing up games! I live in Brighton in the south of England. It's a very forward, vibrant, and trend setting town. People here hardly bat an eyelid as there are so many self assured men and women taking huge risks and making massive statements with their clothes. If it's happening in trendy urban environments then it's only a matter of maybe 10 years before it's 'normalish' in traditionally conservative places. Sort out some great outfits, don't just focus on your shoes! Have a good look in the mirror and if your happy then get out there. It's real and it's happening. Every week I see another blog with men wearing what they like, looking good and on the whole being accepted. One of my favourite quotes was from a female blogger who said something along the lines of 'Clued up and confident boys are having much more fun with their clothes than the girls'. Don't worry about a few people pointing or staring or even laughing. Just be thankful you don't have to throw yourself under the King's racehorse to get the right to wear good outfits that make you happy. Thanks, Ben

[Thighboots2]

Histiletto, thanks for starting an interesting thread. My perspective is that it is perfectly acceptable to wear heels as a man, but you really must define what you mean by heels. Such a small word but it encompasses so much. However, the thrust of your posting is perfectly correct. The more members of society that do a thing, the more society comes to accept that thing as the norm. Simon

[Histiletto]

Hey Thighboots2, It is more than acceptable for a man to wear heels, it is with in his right to choose; just as it is a woman's right. I will leave the definition of heels to the person that wants to wear them, for they know better than I the type of heels they like. We know that many women are letting their b/f and/or spouse wear heels in the privacy of their abode for whatever the reasons. Sense this is such a common happening, the stigma society keeps on male heelers is unjust for this fact alone. Actually, if those secretive people would come clean concerning their heeling activities, male heeling would no longer be an issue for social acceptance. It would become unusual not to see both men and women in heels for the same events or happenings.

[Histiletto]

Great positive thread guys!

I've always thought that Masculinism (as in the male equivalent of Feminism) will be about men becoming more conscious of the roles they can play with in life. In a way as men we are lucky. Women had so much to fight for. They were asking for basic rights i.e to vote and for equal pay and opportunities. On the other hand all we are are asking for is the right to play dressing up games!

I live in Brighton in the south of England. It's a very forward, vibrant, and trend setting town. People here hardly bat an eyelid as there are so many self assured men and women taking huge risks and making massive statements with their clothes. If it's happening in trendy urban environments then it's only a matter of maybe 10 years before it's 'normalish' in traditionally conservative places. Sort out some great outfits, don't just focus on your shoes! Have a good look in the mirror and if your happy then get out there.

It's real and it's happening. Every week I see another blog with men wearing what they like, looking good and on the whole being accepted. One of my favourite quotes was from a female blogger who said something along the lines of 'Clued up and confident boys are having much more fun with their clothes than the girls'.

Don't worry about a few people pointing or staring or even laughing. Just be thankful you don't have to throw yourself under the King's racehorse to get the right to wear good outfits that make you happy.

Thanks,

Ben

If men, as a whole, had not been so complacent in their supposed status as the stronger ones of humanity and thus the perceived rulers in their domain, they might have noticed their right to be who they are was becoming limited. Also, they might have noticed their agency to make personal choices was being taken away. This laxed masculine attitude gave society a type of license to ignore individual personalities and make rules and standards that made it very difficult for everyone to express their individualism without risking embarrassment for portraying their particular state of self.

In this patriarchal environment, women had to make choices as part of their daily existence to survive. They were also exploited to show their individualism for the enticement or entertainment of their male counterpart. When women forced men to start seeing them as equals, they also kept the skill they had learned from being subserviant in this male dominated world. Women know or have learned what it means to be prepared. They have choices because decisions were an expected part of their survival. In their roles, women had to rely on their appearance more than men to sustain their status and even identity.

Men need to get off their duffs and realize they are lacking many of the qualities women have culivated. One of these is the ability to be ourselves and make the choices that help us to be complete. We can't rest on our lurals and expect our might to rule our domains anymore. Heeling may be an expression we males use to identify our choice to wear high heels, but women have also had the choice and they are enjoying it. It's time those males who enjoy wearing heels to share their joy with the rest of the world, just like women do.

[Dawn HH]

To All--- Boy, what great posting thats coming through this thread. I commend Histiletto for starting such a thought provoking thread and for all of the other members for being able to keep it going so nicely. No truer words have been posted so positively. We all must keep letting the public know that we are as adept at chosnig our daily outfits and accessoriziing them correctly as any woman here on earth. And as it has been said before, society will accept it and accept it well and embrace it as being the trend that it should be. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[Danielinheels]

I don't feel that I have to wait for it. I'll create it for myself, and anyone who accepts alongside me, great. If not, no big deal so long as my personal safety isn't compromised.

[HappyinHeels]

HiStiletto makes great and elegant points as usual and it has made for a great thread indeed! He makes the point that males wearing high heels whether in public or private is far more common than people realize. I have written several times before about my experiences in different shoe stores as I haven't made any internet purchases in the last 18 months--just in-person and have talked to a fair number of sales associates. The sales associates will confirm what we suspect or already know; that many males are looking and buying high heels for themselves but the degree of presentation is quite varied. Some are straight-forward and tell the SA's this, try on shoes without looking around and go about their business just like women do. Others see something they like and do a walk and grab then head straight for the register and yet others try to mix the purchase in with other stuff and may say they are buying for their wife or girlfriend. I have said before that SA's know you are buying for yourself by how you are in the store. I have written to Bakers HQ in St.Louis a number of times and have become a verified reviewer of the shoes I've bought there. Then they know who their customers are. We should ALL be doing this-after all we love the product they sell. I have a discount card with Bakers and DSW reward points, I recommend everyone does the same-no better feeling than to create a good relationship in the business community no matter if they're selling heels,dresses,purses, or tractor parts! HappyinHeels

[stefan]

Well said HappyinHeels. I totally agree.

[Iamme]

Histiletto, what you say is absolutely true. If we keep wearing heels in the safe haven of secrecy, men in heels will never get accepted generally. Is it so important what others think of you? Apparently, it is. But that is because of what the community always has been; all geared towards status and power. You only need to be a tad different than the rest... But thanks to the internet, finding people with the same interests as you has became easier. We all are and offer support to one another. This gives us the courage to do what we love to do: wearing high heels, and in some cases, even other types of women's clothing. And with courage I mean: go out and about with your favorite heels on. I've yet to take that step, but my girlfriend is willing to do some heeling with me in public soon. Anyways men, wear your heels with pride and joy! Just as I do when I am with my girlfriend!

[Histiletto]

Yes HappyinHeels, trying to fool SA's may work once or twice, but if your personna gives a certain inference then it doesn't matter what you try to project as your truth while purchasing your heels, they will know. There is also evidence that many g/fs or wifes purchase heels for their man. Such information as this lends more credibility for men to be considered as part of the heeling population.

[Dawn HH]

Lamme:-) You have got a good point there. Both you and your G/F should put your heels on and go out in public and do some shopping and maybe some lunch and a show. You both will have a fun day and will want to enjoy that experience many more times and as soon and as often as you can. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[blender]

We ourselves are our own worst enemy when it comes to the stigma side of this thread, especially when you have over 50% of people have put that they wear heels because its erotic (why heels? Erotic? fun to walk in poll) so how do you put across an argument for them being part of the fashion scene when instantly the majority would fit straight into the stereotype of it being a sexual fetish, (women have the same fetish but it is not frowned upon by society) the same can be said for other items of clothes that you might wear I.e. skirts, In other countries male skirts are called something different from their female equivalent, kilts in Scotland, lungi or sarong from India and surrounding countries but they are the same as a skirt a sheet of fabric wrapped around the waste. now if a designer was to bring out male heels would you buy them or would you still wear female heels? And if you would still wear female heels then I think you are deluding yourself into thinking that society would embrace you with open arms, Wearing male heels would be easier to explain to your friends and family especially when you can prove that you bought them from the men’s section of the shop and we could wear them out all the time so that people could get desensitized to the sight of men in heels and you never know more designer might pick up on the fact that there is a market out there for male heels. As far as society is concerned men should be manly and women should be sexy you might get a minority that is open minded but the majority is blinkered.

[Histiletto]

Yes Blender, I hear the argument that if there were heels made especially for males, it would not be such a stigma and male heeling wouldn't have any problems being accepted. Apparently, there is an attitude that stilettos are only for the feminine look. This is a socially contrived standard which is subject to change, just like the total genre of high heels are considered for women now. The block heels that is the suggested male look may be alright for some, but my choice or preference for footwear are the stiletto court shoes. This doesn't mean that I am any less of a male for wanting to wear stiletto pumps. These are the style of heels that I have always desired and they make my day. This may be viewed by many as pushing the envelope too far. Whether it is or not, I don't want to give the impression while striving for the social attitude change for male heeling, that my right to choose the footwear I desire to wear would be excluded, just to delude others that this choice wasn't to be part of our male options. Of course, I will admit seeing men and women wearing heels would be a sight to get use to. Does any one have any thing against women wearing trousers? The same will be true for men in heels: Should they be blocks, cones, stilettos, or any other type of high heels with a multitude of colors and textures. This is my dream any way! We just have to be active in letting others know that there are many males wanting to wear high heels, also!

[blender]

I think that you are missing a point that I am trying to make, one of the reasons that its not acceptable is because of the sexual fetish side of wearing high heels and if you want them to be more acceptable in society then we have to choose our words carefully as to the reason why we wear them, saying things like they make me feel sexy will only lead to one conclusion I.e. your gay, now that’s not helping anyone.

I agree that we should be allowed to wear what we want but when you read on other forums that it makes them feel sexy or they get aroused by it only strengthens the transvestite or gay argument, for me I am not gay nor do I see myself as a transvestite I am a straight man who would like to wear what he wants, but that is the general attitude of people when they see you and you are being accepted for those reasons only, because its what they understand through media and the web until we as people publish our stories in magazines and get t.v (television) programme to put our point across then we will always be in the dark looking to get out.

Now don’t take offence but using the women wear trousers question is an old and tired one because women’s trousers are cut for the female figure just as male trousers are cut for the male figure, but I will agree on the fact that women used to buy men’s jeans because they fitted better at one time, that is until the fashion houses cottoned on to what they were doing and questioned women as to the reason why and they then changed the cut of jeans to fit women better.

The other point that I was trying to make was that we all know men wear high heels in private and we all know that there is a market out there for them take the film kinky boots based on a real company (www.divine.co.uk) no I am not plugging this company but using it as an example the company was saved because he made high heels for men but yet you still don’t see men wearing them as part of there daily fashion choice, so maybe we need to take a step back and wear cowboy boots in the u.s.a or some other type of shoe in Europe, then pressure the makers of such shoes to make a higher heel version and by using this forum we can concentrate our efforts and target individual company’s until we get what we want.

[Bubba136]

blender, you make some good points......not for the first time in this forum, however. If you search back through the archive, you will find tons of material and comments reciting opinions on this very subject. And many of the points you make here several times over. This subject is one of the most discussed issues on this forum. The old saying that there is nothing new under the sun is as true here it is anywhere else and in any other venue. Discuss it until your heart is content. In the final analysis. However, in the final analysis men in high heels will be viewed at the least as an oddity and at the most as a perversion for several generations to come. If men in women's heels is ever readily accepted by the general public, you, me and most every other member of hhplace will be long over our desire to wear heels. So my advice to the male members of this forum is that if you desire to wear your heels in public, the same as you would your everyday shoes, if you are waiting for the general public to relax it's attitude so that you can, don't hold your breath. You'd best swallow your fear, put on your finest stiletto pumps and get on with it. If you wait, you'll be pushing up tulips before that happens.

[Histiletto]

blender, As an adamant stiletto heeler, I understand your point very well, but like Bubba136 has restated, full acceptance isn't going to happen for most of us any time soon unless a miracle or substantial awareness is revealed. Trying to stay within the social expectations may work, but it will never bring a just and true solution to restore the an individual's right to choose their own personal appearance. When I first found out that society did not approve of my wearing the footwear that I really wanted to wear and I could not find any logical support for society's decision, I thought how did they come to such supidity and arrogance. In the zeal to increase and certify their man-made gender gap, society made my personal desire seem perverted and unworthy of validation. --- So! I want to wear stiletto heels as a man, did I really break any natural laws or prohibit anyones right of choice? No!!!! Yet, my right to choose has been violated. Now people have the additude that I am lower than dirt for wanting to wear them. It is funny the "free world" goes to war to defend the freedoms we enjoy, but they will turn on anyone that tries to exhibit anything contrary to "the one size fits all" social standards that does not defend everyone's personal right to choose. Also you are right about the reshaping of the trousers for women, but some of us guys like the fit of some women's jeans better than many of the styles intended to be worn by men. The moral is when you find something you want to wear and you can get it in your size, buy it and put it on. If it is still has the look you feel comfortable wearing, then you have something that is a visual extension of you.

[Guest]

your quite right about that,Histiletto- that is what is called the "old double standard" type of behavior in a lot of people out there in society that they seem to fall to pieces over someone or ANYONE really, to actually try to dress as they please in order to be different like if you do, you have somehow broke some kind of invisible rule or secret social law in doing so in the 1st. place-it really is a contradiction that your only allowed to go so far in being "different" because then if you cross that invisible line then you are no longer being the gender you really are and must be trying "take on" the role of the other sex! This being based entirely on the choice of footwear-this apparent contradiction really boggles the mind (mine & many others in here no dought) it NEVER ceases to amaze me @ the level of gender role crap when it comes to footwear choice!

[JeffB]

So my advice to the male members of this forum is that if you desire to wear your heels in public, the same as you would your everyday shoes, if you are waiting for the general public to relax it's attitude so that you can, don't hold your breath. You'd best swallow your fear, put on your finest stiletto pumps and get on with it. If you wait, you'll be pushing up tulips before that happens.

Brilliant! Couldn't have said it better myself! Life is too short to wait for something we will probably never see. Widespread acceptance of men in heels is right up there with Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy----a myth! Plain and simple. We shouldn't be passive when it comes to our unique passion, and waiting for so-called acceptance is a dead end road, a road I for one refuse to travel on. I know I've gotten the hairy eyeball from the ignorant and the uninformed when out and about in heels (and lately, in skirts), and you know what? I don't care! I'm going to enjoy what I like, with or without society's permission. Acceptance can wait, my friends, I'm having too much fun to worry about such nonsensical things.

[maninboots]

im with everybody here, i dont see stilletoes or any other heels as womens anyway, anyone can and should be free to wear what they want, lets get as many men in high heels as possible, we can do it

[blender]

Please let me apologise if I am repeating old threads but there are a lot of threads and it is near impossible to read them all, please don’t get me wrong but I am with everybody here and there is nothing I would like more than to be accepted in public for the right reasons and not what other perceive me as being and perception makes the world go round your whole life is based upon visual perception of the world, when a man walks down the street wearing heels the silent reaction from people would be o.k. he is a tranny but that is a million miles from the truth, we know the truth but they don’t so until we go about and educate people into the reasons why we want to wear such items of clothing then the general population will only tolerate us but never accept us as being who we are. A gay man is tolerated by other men but doesn’t really understand why but women can see there point of view, same goes for lesbians I can see why but my partner cant. A socialist friend said to me that ignorance is born from the lack of education. I think that a lot of the stigma comes from the gay movement now I’m not blaming good for them, but transsexuals’ and transvestites jumped on the band wagon at the time and in the gay circle they weren’t really heard properly and society has lumped us all into the one easy to understand category , now we have the hard task of trying to untangle ourselves from the mess that has been created. Its all very well for the few of us on this site that see clothes as being none gender but the whole world is based upon a male/female gender split even the words that we use can be classed as male or female so if we want to educate people into the reasons we need to choose our words very carefully , for example if you work as a cook that is seen as being women’s work but if you’re a chef then that’s generally male work? Same work but different names, the fashion industry has tried to rename heels for men as meels (I think they could have come up with a better name than that really) re branding a product that doesn’t sell happens all the time and hopefully sometime soon they will get it right. So in general the people that go out wearing what you want good on you for doing it, more power to you but for me its not changing anything you are still being taken for something that you are not and only being tolerated and that will continue until we come up with a way to get our views across to the rest of the world. One person in one town isn’t going to do a lot but 8,000 letters or emails to a single designer at one time with our views on what we would like to see on male selves just might change peoples minds into thinking that there is a market out there for them, or put pen to paper a write into magazines and try and get your point of view across there are plenty of stories about gays, lesbians, transsexuals and transvestites but nothing about us kinds of men, that is what I am doing for now I know its not a lot but for me its doing something to make a change.

[Thighboots2]

im with everybody here, i dont see stilletoes or any other heels as womens anyway, anyone can and should be free to wear what they want, lets get as many men in high heels as possible, we can do it

MIB, I disagree, stiletto heels are women's heels, because almost all men who wear them can't carry them off. Sure they can wear them and many can walk well in them too, BUT the look is wrong as most men are not slender enough for them to look in proportion to the rest of him. Then add into the mix that most men just don't have the necessary sense to put together a co-ordinated outfit. For these reasons alone, most men will not be able to pull off stiletto heels regardless of height.

BUT - put them into 3 to 3.5" cuban heels and bingo, the look works. Now why would that be? Do you want to be complimented on how you look, and thus feel good about yourself, or do you want to worry about what others think of how you look because you know deep down inside that whilst you can wear stiletto heels, even walk properly in them, you hate the attention it brings.

Now don't go bringing up the old earring chestnut. Sure guys wear earrings these days as a matter of fact, but have regard to the styles they wear. Always plain and simple. Ask a man who wears earrings to swap his plain small gold ring/stud for a nice drop pearl dangly earring and he would refuse. He wouldn't wear a pearl necklace instead of his gold chain, so why oh why would he want to wear a delicate pair of 5" Louboutins when he would relate far more easily to a pair of 3" Harley Davidson block heel boots.

I am well aware that a few members on here have experimented with pushing the freestyle envelope and have become comfortable with how they look, which is all good for them. But whilst I may have complimented them in the past for their boldness and look, none of their posted pictures have ever really made it work for me when they wear stiletto heels. Sorry guys, but that is my view.

Time to seperate the fetish from the passion, certainly where heels are concerned and there is just too much fetish associated with stilettos. Skulking about at 2am in the morning going to the ATM in your 5" stilettos doesn't do you any favours either. Men have a bad enough stigma associated with them anyway, why promote it by wearing what is commonly seen as a sexual and fetish item, and this aspect of stiletto heels isn't going change, probably, ever.

Simon.