Tech Posted May 28, 2008 Posted May 28, 2008 I mustn't burden them with my problem. Charming eh? Why would she think that its a problem that would burden others? I've never known a persons choice of footwear to be a burdening problem Heels for Men // Legwear Fashion // HHPlace Guidelines If something doesn't look right, please report the content ASAP!
luxxyheels Posted May 28, 2008 Posted May 28, 2008 Even though I'm sitting here in a skirt suit, 5" heels, nylons, and the appropriate underthings, I am 100% straight. I just like dressing in nice clothes .
fastfreddy2 Posted May 28, 2008 Posted May 28, 2008 Why would she think that its a problem that would burden others? I've never known a persons choice of footwear to be a burdening problem One of them has two teenage daughters (from a previous marriage), and the girls stay every other weekend. My 'friend' feels that me wearing heels to their place - where I have dinner about twice a year - might create more questions than can be adequately covered with any sort of discretion. [ie lying.] I don't think a father should lie to his children, especially not for something that needn't be kept secret from them anyway. But niether of us could be certain what the reaction might be of the two girls. I think they would be okay, but this isn't my decision to make. To a degree I recognise her position. The half of the couple we both know better, (not the father) comes from our home town and I'm known to most of his family. I think she sees him as an escape route for my secret. Even if I don't think it would be a problem (and it would be) she's very careful to ensure my interests don't reflect badly on her. I not only feel I should respect that, as a friend, I'm happy to. As much as I would like 'share' my interest with others..... ........
heeluis Posted May 28, 2008 Posted May 28, 2008 Thanks Freddy for naming me a friend. Please stay in contact. I´d love to talk to you again!
JSpikeheels Posted May 29, 2008 Posted May 29, 2008 I believe that sexual orientation is a mental condition influenced by the expectations we place on ourselves and we feel from others... On one hand, we have the orientation of our expectations but buried inside is often another side of us that seldom gets allowed to come out".. what I call " the orientation of our imaginations"...it's the way that images of high heels plays on the screens of our imaginations and in the release of the endorphins in our brains that give us pleasure... With high heels "firing" in our pleasure centers is it any wonder that any and every activity involving high heels will gain some reaction in us? ... if crossdressing with high heels "gets us off" then we will find ourselves returning to that...or the pleasures and exhilaration with wearing heels with generally male attire may be the spark, or if we decide we like high heels in wet-and-messy situations then we will look there... ...we can say we are straight, for example, and while we would never allow ourselves to even consider same-sex involvement in the "waking world" the idea of "crossdressers together" might be just the trigger that stimulates us in the pleasure-centers especially if high heels become the focal point of entry to to this world of altered reality... we have all developed an attachment of some kind to high heels so it stands to reason that there would be an element of eroticism in anything that includes high heels..at any given time we exist in both hemispheres of reality vs imagination with one or the other stressing to gain the upper hand... I have been at this for over a half century and I have thought of little else but high heels and how they have become such a part of the person I am... How many of us wish we could wipe them off our minds forever while at the same time recognizing that they are who we are and in the process, sometimes feel like we are going quietly insane? comments appreciated JSpikeheels Jim ...
thedesigner Posted May 29, 2008 Posted May 29, 2008 i agree with your comments / opinions, with the exception of the last paragraph, in that i'm glad that i'm in, as it gives fun and excitement in a positive way. I'm sure soulmate is glad i'm a heelwearer rather getting my kicks from porn, paedo, violence etc.
Bubba136 Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 fastfreddy2, at one point in his last post said:" she's very careful to ensure my interests don't reflect badly on her." A major sticking point. Precisely the attitude that the majority of women take when it comes to "accepting" their men in high heels. How many times I've heard from members of this community that "my wife has asked me to "think how I am going to feel when our friends discover that you are interested in wearing womens high heels?" More concern about their image than of your mental comfort or well-being. Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.
JSpikeheels Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 as long as we can keep our sense of what constitutes our realities from what lies in the realm of our imagination we can enjoy the benefits of both parts of our natures...but fetish and objects of fetish can blur the two and create challenges in terms of what we can and may safely allow...a person can have no outward signs below the surface of an apparently rational, grounded in reality calm demeanor and be caught in an intense struggle taking place in his imagination...the endorphin addiction grows and can become more insistent and the battle between desire and responsibility can be ferocious...
fastfreddy2 Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 fastfreddy2, at one point in his last post said:" she's very careful to ensure my interests don't reflect badly on her." A major sticking point. Precisely the attitude that the majority of women take when it comes to "accepting" their men in high heels. How many times I've heard from members of this community that "my wife has asked me to "think how I am going to feel when our friends discover that you are interested in wearing womens high heels?" More concern about their image than of your mental comfort or well-being. To be fair to them, concern about their image sits on one side of the scales, with our "well-being" sitting on the other. What makes our well-being any more important than theirs? I can and have quite a pleasant life without wearing high heels. In fact I had something of a 15 year respite before my recent indulgence. But could my wife, (or any S/O) continue to enjoy their current lifestyle with friends and family with them knowing I wear high heels? I can tell you the answer would likely be an emphatic No! On balance (again directly refering to the balance scales) a selfish attitude from me could cause significantly more pain for my partner, than the need for discretion causes me. Overall I do okay. I had another day out yesterday wearing heels (I'll write about later), with my wife wearing flat shoes. A complete reversal from a year ago. Both of us had a nice time out, so I've no real cause for complaint. She's fairly accepting, but I don't feel she (or any anyone else) should be made to suffer because I choose to indulge myself wearing high heels. I can't, "we" can't ignore the attitudes of others. It's part of being inside the community, rather than outside it. The best we can hope for is to bring about some change, but I doubt many of us will achieve a major change in attitudes from even the 5-10 people we might usually have direct contact with. Wearing heels is far from something I expect to take for granted any time soon. [Though I did get invited into our local Tesco by herself last night, she having completely forgotten I was wearing 4" heels.... ] ....
billyb Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 To be fair to them, concern about their image sits on one side of the scales, with our "well-being" sitting on the other. What makes our well-being any more important than theirs? I can and have quite a pleasant life without wearing high heels. In fact I had something of a 15 year respite before my recent indulgence. But could my wife, (or any S/O) continue to enjoy their current lifestyle with friends and family with them knowing I wear high heels? I can tell you the answer would likely be an emphatic No! On balance (again directly refering to the balance scales) a selfish attitude from me could cause significantly more pain for my partner, than the need for discretion causes me. Overall I do okay. I had another day out yesterday wearing heels (I'll write about later), with my wife wearing flat shoes. A complete reversal from a year ago. Both of us had a nice time out, so I've no real cause for complaint. She's fairly accepting, but I don't feel she (or any anyone else) should be made to suffer because I choose to indulge myself wearing high heels. I can't, "we" can't ignore the attitudes of others. It's part of being inside the community, rather than outside it. The best we can hope for is to bring about some change, but I doubt many of us will achieve a major change in attitudes from even the 5-10 people we might usually have direct contact with. Wearing heels is far from something I expect to take for granted any time soon. [Though I did get invited into our local Tesco by herself last night, she having completely forgotten I was wearing 4" heels.... ] .... Fastfreddy2 You are right on point, in my case my wife knew along time ago about my wearing pantyhose when riding horses when we use to help a friend do fall round up on their ranch, and it gets cold there in late October so we wore the pantyhose to keep warm. Also when we go riding the motorcycle (my avitar) during the winter we both wore hose and she had no problem with it. When I started disscussing my love of high heel shoes and wanting to wear them she thought I was nuts. She never asked me if I was gay because she has several gay friends but she did ask are you a cross dresser? I said technically yes, but so are you and she was what do you mean and I asked how many pairs of young men's Wrangler jeans do you have, and her responce was yes but no one will know where as you in a pair of pumps will stand out and what will my family think! So back to your point that we do have to balance our needs with those that are also a part of our lives. As time has gone by my wife has accpted my heel wearing as long as I wear boots with paints that covers the heel but no heels when we are with family and I am ok with that. We are all not a fortunate as members like Johnnieheel who has a very understanding wife who encourages him, but I am thankfull that my wife at least tolerates my heel wearing.
Bubba136 Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 fastfreddy2 commented: But could my wife, (or any S/O) continue to enjoy their current lifestyle with friends and family with them knowing I wear high heels? I can tell you the answer would likely be an emphatic No!So often, this is a wife's initial response when learning of their husband's desire to wear women's shoes. In my opinion, while you might be correct in your analysis, I would think that a wife's initial reaction would be to ask questions concerning exactly what his motivation is and not an imediate "what damage will this do to my image?" Perhaps, not only would discussions clear the atmosphere surrounding this behavior, it might also lead to some permissible wearing parameters that would preserve both party's image. And, it actually doesn't have anything to do with either one of the participants "well being scales." Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.
Bootking Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 "my wife has asked me to "think how I am going to feel when our friends discover that you are interested in wearing womens high heels?" That for me is that crux of the matter; the wife doesn't want to see me in heels being interrogated by the police, see neighbors, etc. etc. It's all about the heel!
fastfreddy2 Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 and her responce was yes but no one will know where as you in a pair of pumps will stand out and what will my family think! So back to your point that we do have to balance our needs with those that are also a part of our lives. As time has gone by my wife has accpted my heel wearing as long as I wear boots with paints that covers the heel but no heels when we are with family and I am ok with that. We are all not a fortunate as members like Johnnieheel who has a very understanding wife who encourages him, but I am thankfull that my wife at least tolerates my heel wearing. We are in similar situations I think. May I suggest we get the best of both worlds? (a) Wearing heels/hose keeps our interest 'special', or at least it does for me. Certainly it isn't something I can take for granted, and I'm okay with that. Plus you and I get ( to keep our 'normal' or regular life with those who deal with us best on that level. A win/win situation for me anyway. So often, this is a wife's initial response when learning of their husband's desire to wear women's shoes. In my opinion, while you might be correct in your analysis, I would think that a wife's initial reaction would be to ask questions concerning exactly what his motivation is and not an imediate "what damage will this do to my image?" Perhaps, not only would discussions clear the atmosphere surrounding this behavior, it might also lead to some permissible wearing parameters that would preserve both party's image. Just for clarity (because I may not have made it clear), while my wife isn't encouraging, she is largely indifferent to what I wear on my feet. "Whatever makes you happy" is okay by her. This included sitting for 20-25 minutes waiting for me to try on 5 pairs of (girls) bootcut or loose-fit jeans yesterday, which I was considering buying to hide/disguise the high heels I'm wearing out quite often (with her) at the moment. [At the time I was wearing boots with 4" heels.] Many, if not all, the people I know would not be accepting of me wearing high heels. A couple of girlfriends are accepting, but that's only because like my wife, they know I used to dress up to go to fetish clubs some 20 years ago. [When I had the figure and skin that would allow it.] None of my family, none of my wife's family, and none of my friends or work contacts know anything of my interest in wearing high heels. As I say, none of them would be accepting, and that is especially true of my friends who are all testosterone filled males. Most of my wife's friends have not been exposed to any sort of eclectic lifestyle, so hopes are not high for their acceptance either. Even her hairdresser who visits us at home, who is also a (gay) friend of 30 years, is kept out of the loop because he's a friend to all her family too and we're not sure how he would react. Where does that leave me? Wearing high heels whenever I want, except around my home town, and most of the three towns close by during daylight hours. Other than that, I have free range to do what I like, when I like. The only thing I'm not doing, is opening the Pandora Box that would be letting family and friends find out I may be even more 'off the wall' than they may already think I am. Mindful the very wide freedom I get to indulge myself, I think the discretion I have to maintain when I'm "local", is a very very very small inconvenience. Compared to many here, I think I have it good. And just to keep my responses 'on track' with the theme of the thread .... what has my sexual orientation to do with or how could it influence my interest in high heels? From the few pertinent answers I've read so far, men wearing heels seems to be predominantly (though not exclusively) an interest of "straight" men. An amusing contradiction if ever there was one. .....
roniheels Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 The last thing I want to happen to me is to be either taken to jail while wearing high heels or taken to the hospital while wearing high heels. I try to avoid situations and places where either of these might readily occur. I am still going to wear high heels in public. But as I have said in previous posts, there are places that could cause confrontation that I would rather avoid.
sabotalot Posted June 10, 2008 Posted June 10, 2008 Years ago, a firm where I worked had a male customer who would "come on" to me, trying to be sexy by unzipping his knee-high side-zip boots in front of me, pulling up his socks, and re-zipping. He did introduce me to the concept of wearing such boots, which I can't find today. No, I wasn't interested in intimacy with him.
Tech Posted June 10, 2008 Posted June 10, 2008 Years ago, a firm where I worked had a male customer who would "come on" to me, trying to be sexy by unzipping his knee-high side-zip boots in front of me, pulling up his socks, and re-zipping. He did introduce me to the concept of wearing such boots, which I can't find today. No, I wasn't interested in intimacy with him. How on earth is pulling your socks up "sexy" ?? (Unless of course it was one of those, "You had to be there to see the way it was done etc") Heels for Men // Legwear Fashion // HHPlace Guidelines If something doesn't look right, please report the content ASAP!
fastfreddy2 Posted June 10, 2008 Posted June 10, 2008 How on earth is pulling your socks up "sexy" ?? (Unless of course it was one of those, "You had to be there to see the way it was done etc") Yeah, but for the boots and socks, he was naked? .....
Bubba136 Posted June 10, 2008 Posted June 10, 2008 :lmao:: That might do it for some! Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.
fastfreddy2 Posted June 10, 2008 Posted June 10, 2008 The last thing I want to happen to me is to be either taken to jail while wearing high heels or taken to the hospital while wearing high heels. I try to avoid situations and places where either of these might readily occur. I am still going to wear high heels in public. But as I have said in previous posts, there are places that could cause confrontation that I would rather avoid. I'm with you there. If I do something that might be provocative, I like open spaces with plenty of other people around. If I go out alone after dark, I try to make sure I'm the scariest thing on the pavement. Week ago last Saturday, me wearing heels on the way home at 2am, fella crossed the road to avoid getting close to me..... ...
hhboots Posted June 10, 2008 Posted June 10, 2008 Although I am married straight guy living a mostly "normal" life, and never had an attraction to men, I do sometimes however think I might have made a better lesbian than straight man. I love women, and everything about women, but perhaps to an extreme -which is where this all comes from I suppose.
Phoenix Posted June 11, 2008 Posted June 11, 2008 The last thing I want to happen to me is to be either taken to jail while wearing high heels or taken to the hospital while wearing high heels. I try to avoid situations and places where either of these might readily occur. I am still going to wear high heels in public. But as I have said in previous posts, there are places that could cause confrontation that I would rather avoid. Yes, I agree with you 100%.
raymond.nl Posted June 11, 2008 Posted June 11, 2008 Although I am married straight guy living a mostly "normal" life, and never had an attraction to men, I do sometimes however think I might have made a better lesbian than straight man. As Chandler Bing (Friends) once said: "Sometimes I wish I were a lesbian... Did I say that out loud?" Right after "straight guy", "lesbian" would surely be my second option.
sabotalot Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 He did it numerous times, and I later learned that he was ac/dc.
roniheels Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 He did it numerous times, and I later learned that he was ac/dc. Are you talking about Chandler Bing, the character, or the actor that plays him?
sabotalot Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 Are you talking about Chandler Bing, the character, or the actor that plays him? I posted this in the wrong place; I was referring to boot & socks guy.
DamnNation Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 I'm bisexual, and i use the high heels to feel feminine when i want to . btw love your avatar Phoenix!
WhyNotMenToo Posted July 5, 2008 Posted July 5, 2008 I'm not marrird anymore and a big issue with me is to let m express myself for who I am. One big example is to let us metrosexuals be who we are. when you do hard heavy physical labor for a living, A little pampering is nice as well as being able to dress comfortably and wear comfortable shoes in our spare time is just as much our right as guys as itis for the fair ladies that we work hard to look out for and take care of as it is theirs and they should be encourageing and supportive of it as well as wanting to be side by side with us in our endeavors. I like the way you talk Nick-65... Straight, but love to wear high heels! I also feel it's time to end gender based clothing that men should have the same fashion rights as the woman have enjoyed for 60 years. Equality in Fashion!
thedesigner Posted July 7, 2008 Posted July 7, 2008 i wear heels as much as poss, and am straight, except my walking ability after a few drinks.... However my cycle is bi...
WhyNotMenToo Posted July 28, 2008 Posted July 28, 2008 As Chandler Bing (Friends) once said: "Sometimes I wish I were a lesbian... Did I say that out loud?" Right after "straight guy", "lesbian" would surely be my second option. Yes! That gos for me too. I also feel it's time to end gender based clothing that men should have the same fashion rights as the woman have enjoyed for 60 years. Equality in Fashion!
Recommended Posts