The Adventures of kneehighs...

[HappyFeat]

Kneehighs, your Scandinavian exploits are quite epic and I commend you. Keep the inspiration coming - I am in awe and am learning so much.

[Trolldeg]

You take things too seriously, you big old sour puss.

No, I don't take you seriously at all. You're more of a joke.

[kneehighs]

No, I don't take you seriously at all. You're more of a joke.

And you are already a bitter old cynical sour puss.

[Trolldeg]

whatever, keep telling yourself that..

[kneehighs]

whatever, keep telling yourself that..

OK, I could tell myself that a 1,000 times and still have more fun than coping with your incessant pessimism.

[Trolldeg]

OK, I could tell myself that a 1,000 times and still have more fun than coping with your incessant pessimism.

yeah, ignorance is bliss, right?

[kneehighs]

yeah, ignorance is bliss, right?

I don't know what that means, but I'm happy!

[HappyFeat]

I don't know what that means, but I'm happy!

Are you still happy in Sweden? Any more excitement happening?

[kneehighs]

Are you still happy in Sweden? Any more excitement happening?

Nope, I was only at the Clarion Östermalm for six nights so I'm back to the corporate grind of NYC now. The last night I was there was pretty spectacular as well, I just didn't write about it.

I can't say enough good things about Stockholm though and will definitely be back. Considering all the major cities of the world I've visited on personal travel (not business), which isn't a lot (Buenos Aires, Paris, London, Dublin, Barcelona, Amsterdam, Copenhagen, Mexico City, Miami, Geneva), Stockholm is far and away my favorite city in the world.

edit: I did perform just enough business to accrue a legit tax write off if needed.

[Arctic]

Great to hear you liked Scandinavia. Before I moved to NY, I lived there for 11 years and I think I will move back some day. So I won't disagree with you on that one

[kneehighs]

Great to hear you liked Scandinavia. Before I moved to NY, I lived there for 11 years and I think I will move back some day.

So I won't disagree with you on that one

Well, I love Stockholm that's for sure. Could go on and on about why....

For starters, I found the people of Stockholm very generous with their money. You know that my first day in Stockholm I didn't know yet that my credit card wouldn't take on some networks. So after having already ordered a double espresso and having it made, the barista told me "I'll give it to you." The last day I was there, I was trying to spend all my coins. A similar thing happened in that I didn't have enough money to complete my transaction. The girl at the bar just gave me the drink. Then at my hotel, a local Swede overheard my conversation asking the hotel clerk to call a cab for me. He said ,"you are welcome to share a cab with me" When we got to our destination, he refused my money.

As well, I found the people of Stockholm generous with their time. In New York, regardless of how much someone likes you, they simply do not take the time to stop and have an unplanned cigarette break with you during the work day. People did that with me 3 times in Stockholm. So impressive.

Even better, I found their "honors system" there very trustworthy. So many bikes left unlocked, at first I thought I was hallucinating. Witnessing a man leave his duffle bag outside a cafe while he went inside and placed his order was heart warming. Then witnessing another man leave his bike unlocked outside of Urban Outfitters while he went inside shopping was amazing. And people don't lock their bikes with chain locks either, a mere cable that could be snipped with a pair of wire cutters was all that most people used (save for the locks that go between the spokes).

And the lack of economic class distinction was also refreshing. As you know, here in New York, everyone is a CEO, Harvard Law Grad, Director...it's a mecca of self promotion and the division between upper class and lower class is mesmerizing. It's all about status, money, wealth, ambition and VERTICAL organization of society from the top down.

In Stockholm, it was so HORIZONTALLY intergrated, that the division between the classes was negligible, save for the few rich that live in Ostermalm. Having been saturated in the New York City scene for the last eight years, this vacation from the intense, upwardly mobile competitive environment that is New York was invigorating and rewarding at the deepest levels for me.

Stockholm may have the most beautiful women in the world, but my reasons for loving the city go way beyond the beauty that fades with time.

It will be a regular stop on my travel rotation for many years to come.

[Elegant]

Your words made me cry for joy. I guess someday I'll go to Sweden; I've heard that it's a land with no / hardly any sexism nor homophobia, and the climate seems cold enough for me to live in. The only thing that I'm awkward about is environment protection regulations.

[Bubba136]

The only thing that I'm awkward about is environment protection regulations.

Why?

[Elegant]

From what I've heard, they're very strict...

[Arctic]

@Elegant: How can that be a bad thing? @Kneehighs: about the classless societies of Northern Europe - this is because from the onset, the concept of equality gets hammered into them. Between man and woman, but also between young and old, between income classes, and among any other divisions. About the security: for people outside of the capitals, Stockholm, Helsinki, Oslo etc. are perceived pits of crime and loose ethics beyond hope. That said, parents including myself had no issues parking strollers with peacefully sleeping 3-month olds unsupervised in front of the store while shopping. About the women: maybe that is why I married one of them

[Bubba136]

From what I've heard, they're very strict...

How would they concern you, as a visitor from Finland ?

[kneehighs]

@Arctic Twitter for hhplace??

[Elegant]

How would they concern you, as a visitor from Finland ?

They'd concern me if I were to work and live in Sweden for several months or years because I'm keen on building and servicing vacuum tube equipment, which eats up a lot of energy and is usually made with old technologies not complying with RoHS [e.g. lead in solder joints]. But hey, perhaps there's nothing to be afraid of? .

[Thighbootguy]

Kneeheighs –

For you next career move consider the Stockholm Chamber of Commerce or their Visitors Bureau. You paint a very attractive picture of the city and country. If I ever have the opportunity, I’d like to experience Stockholm first hand. Alas, that may be quite a while though.

Being a linguistic dummy, I have to ask, how prevalent is spoken English?

Elegant –

Wow, not only a classy dresser, but someone that knows what a 5U4 and a 12AX7 are. I didn’t think there was anyone else that still knows what they are. (Answer: Vacuum Tubes) I think the new lead free solders will work for you.

[admirer5577]

Your words made me cry for joy. I guess someday I'll go to Sweden; I've heard that it's a land with no / hardly any sexism nor homophobia, and the climate seems cold enough for me to live in. The only thing that I'm awkward about is environment protection regulations.

From what I've heard, they're very strict...

I think it is time for me, as being a swede, to step in here and ask you why you believe they are very strict? Today most regulations are the same within the whole EEC. And hey, to protect the environment can never be bad, can it?

I have to say I am not that keen on Stockholm myself, maybe I am spoiled to have it so close to me. Apart from my two visits there last fall it was probably 20 yrs since my previous visit.

It is probably also true that we're brought up with equality as an important thing but it has also turned into the fact that no-one wants to "stick out". If you buy a new, top of the line, car, make sure it looks like the budget version of that model, otherwise the neighbours may start talking.....

[kneehighs]

Kneeheighs –

Being a linguistic dummy, I have to ask, how prevalent is spoken English?

Very, and when you speak it, great things happen! Nothing beats being the traveler, the overseas vagabond who speaks fluent English, a language considered by many in Europe to be the most useful language to have mastery over. At least that's the attitude that I used to define my reality when I was there--it worked too.

[Bubba136]

Kneeheighs –

For you next career move consider the Stockholm Chamber of Commerce or their Visitors Bureau. You paint a very attractive picture of the city and country. If I ever have the opportunity, I’d like to experience Stockholm first hand. Alas, that may be quite a while though.

Being a linguistic dummy, I have to ask, how prevalent is spoken English?

Elegant –

Wow, not only a classy dresser, but someone that knows what a 5U4 and a 12AX7 are. I didn’t think there was anyone else that still knows what they are. (Answer: Vacuum Tubes) I think the new lead free solders will work for you.

I think I still might have a couple 12AX7's in the attic if anyone needs one or two. (left overs from my father's ham radio days....)

[Pumps]

Your words made me cry for joy. I guess someday I'll go to Sweden; I've heard that it's a land with no / hardly any sexism nor homophobia, .

This is certainly NOT true. In fact the local branch of the swedish gay rights movement have had to close down their office in my city due to harrasment and vandalism. And if you think the swedes are cool with heel-wearing, think again. The law of Jante rules here and as Admirer say, sticking out is not a good idea.

[kneehighs]

Outfit for last night was a white sequin mini dress I bought from Zara. I tucked the mini dress into my right and left sides, leaving the front and back hanging, which created a pretty cool effect. Layered a womens Mango blazer over that and wore women's Urban Outfitter tight straight leg jeans with black 4.5" inch cone heeled booties from Nine West. My goal for the night was to test the limits of my "escalation anxiety" with girls. Personally, I've got good control over my approach anxiety and wanted to see what would happen when I went out and flirted, and physically escalated as much as possible, as fast as possible with the girls I met. The goal wasn't a same night "lay", but to build my escalation skills. I anticipated a fun night, and as usual, it was fun! Arrived at the club and deliberately stood outside talking to the manager for about 5 minutes. I did this because I enjoy her company, but also because it's good social proof for the bouncers and people walking into the bar. Now all the bouncers there respect me for knowing the head manager and people who saw me talking to her suspect I must be somebody of high value, since they saw me talking at length with her. Went in and saw a sandy blonde and blue eyed girl walking with her friend across the bar. She had some amazing stiletto pumps on and was fierce in her walk. So I opened her and her friend with something to the effect of, "so are you working on your runway strut? I saw you working it (and motioned my body like a runway model, putting one leg criss cross in front of the other when walking)." That got them both laughing. Instantly, I went in for escalation on the blonde. It's weird how far girls will let you go when you just try. In a matter of minutes we were embracing each other, she had her hands in my hair, her arms around my neck, and her friend was telling her to "go and parade him around!" So she did that! Amazing! Within minutes, she was parading me around the bar, giving me amazing preselection social proof to all the other girls in the bar (it wasn't a club, but a bar). haha, how's that for a freebie? Did you ever notice that when you are with another girl, other girls seem to notice you more? It's because you are demonstrating pre-selection! Again, my goal last night wasn't to go home with some girl, but to perfect my escalation skills. So wound up practicing with two other girls in addition to the blonde. Again, I surprised myself how far girls will let me go with flirting as in a matter of minutes, legs were crisscrossed in each other, waists were touching, hands were a holding. If a girl pulled away because I was flirting too fast, I'd re-flirt, but on a smaller level and build back up to where I had tried before. Overall, a great time was had by all (the girls had fun too!) and an it was an amazing learning experience.

[Arctic]

@ pumps: It is a matter of perspective. As a whole, the Nordic countries and the Netherlands ARE the most liberal of any worldwide. It does not mean you can get away with everything everywhere. It also does not mean you might not have more liberal areas elsewhere: Tokyo, San Francisco, NYC, for example. The difference is here that we are talking about a metropolitan area, or even a part of a city, versus a general society wide attitude towards individual expression. Visiting any town an hour's drive out of Stockholm vs. an hours drive out of NYC makes it very clear. Of course you are going to find morons in Sweden making life difficult for people with different perspectives, but all things considered, Sweden, Norway, Finland, and Holland are good societies to be different. But obviously things are not the same a village in Lapland and on Drottninggatan. @KH: "It's weird how far girls will let you go when you just try. In a matter of minutes we were embracing each other, she had her hands in my hair, her arms around my neck, and her friend was telling her to "go and parade him around!" Yep, there seems to be some kind of sixth sense in women that allows them to identify harm from fun, and it is rarely fooled, nor understood, by men. As soon as you are labeled "not a hazard" they go for the fun

[Thighbootguy]

Kneehighs –

I have never had the opportunity to develop social skill at your level and I don’t think, after all these years, that I’m really wired to develop them. I read your posts with endless fascination and hope you will keep us posted when you write your book.

Possible titles:

My view of the World from on top of 4” stiletto pumps

How to wear pumps and influence people

Heels make the Man

Girls need Heeling

The Law of Social Heeling

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[Dawn HH]

Kneehighs:-) Flirt all you want as long as you can and enjoy doing it. I'm like TBG as I'm certainly not in your league on flirting. But, then again, with a pardner like Mickey, who needs to flirt? Cheers--- Dawn HH

[kneehighs]

Kneehighs –

I have never had the opportunity to develop social skill at your level and I don’t think, after all these years, that I’m really wired to develop them. I read your posts with endless fascination and hope you will keep us posted when you write your book.

How to wear pumps and influence people

ROFLMAO haha, love the Dale Carnegie reference.

Glad somebody thinks I have good social skills. Personally, I think a ton of men are deluded about their about their social skills, meaning they think they are better with people/women than they really are.

Truth be told, I have a ton of learning and progress to make and enjoy just enough "skill" to get some really great results, both in my professional life and with girls. Yeah, I may have won Toastmasters Awards in public speaking, yeah, I may be able to close a 3 some in stiletto pumps, BUT, there remains a large plot of unchartered territory of learning for me to explore.

And I can't wait!

[HappyFeat]

Kneehighs, first I want to thank you for introducing me to the concept of "social proof." Though I have studied sociology, I have avoided psychology as much as possible. Since you first posted about social proof, I have done quite a bit of reading on the subject and understanding of the concept has made my heeling experiences more interesting as of late. In my evolution as a heeler, I have gone from being consumed by what others think to not caring what others think. But since I have been thinking about social proof, and begining to apply the concept, I have become more interested in influencing how others think. It is not enough to hope that you are accepted it is creating a situation where you are accepted. Better yet, its about making others want to be accepted by you!

That being said, I like they way you were thinking when you were out. (The outfit sounded incredible by the way.) Its not that I go out looking for a one night thing, or even a thing for that matter. Its that I love to go out and just have a fun evening in the company of fun people. It totally agree how positive women respond when you just try. I also think that being unique in appearance and attitude is also quite attractive to women and that the group will follow once you have made an impression with the first (social proof at work).

You continue to bring whole new dimensions to heeling and social activity to me. Makes me think fashion isn't just about the clothes!

[kneehighs]

Thanks, the outfit worked well. It just takes sooo much effort and time to post a photo, ugh. I respect you, JeffB, and especially Thighbootguy (for his video editing, whew). I should probably take the time to post a few as my style sense has greatly increased over the last year. The blazer toned down the sequins, I rolled up the sleeves on the blazer, and the sequins made a great "touching" icebreaker with many a girl. My goal was always to inspire women in the fashion industry to wear what I wear. Now, I can say I've had that effect on editors and models (heels included). And as far as the girls go, last nights objectives were merely elements of me learning to categorize my interactions into sequential phases, from approaching to escalating to qualifying to closing. I don't just want to be good with women, I want to be Great! p.s. I did witness one dusty blonde girl standing in a corner with a friend. She was secretly changing from her heels into flats. So I went up to her as soon as she had put her heels into her bag and said, "that was almost slick, changing into your flats" with a friendly smile. Before she had time to reply, I added with "how long had you been in your heels for?" I'm good at opening conversations with girls though, and remembering my objective for the evening was to enhance my escalation skills, I moved in with hardcore flirting. With both her and her friend. My new attitude is generally "below me, or below me out". Meaning, give me what I want or just get so irritated with my approach, that you leave. Oh yeah, I leave the kissing details that ensued for the imagination.