Gals: What if a guy asks where you got your shoes??

[SF]

From time to time I will see a gal wearing a pair of cute sandals that I would like to get for my wife - or myself. Many times I have wanted to ask the woman where she got her shoes but have been to "shy" to ask. Is asking a stranger where she got her shoes something that would be out of line ?? Or too personal ?? I would like to hear from the gals out there what you think... Thanks... SF

[Becky]

Hi SF, I'm sure there are many guys who would love to ask a women where she has bought her shoes or boots from - as you say, either for your wife / partner or yourself. My thoughts are that I wouldn't mind if a female friend or a close male friend asked where I'd bought the shoes / boots I was wearing. If a guy I'd never met asked me then depending on how cute he was would depend on my answer. If he was drop dead gorgeous then I'd tell him (especially if he complimented me too ) but if he looked a little strange / pervy then I'd probably ignore him and just carry on my with my business. Becks

[genebujold]

You say, "those are lovely shoes you're wearing - would you mind if I try them on? Just kidding... You say, "those are lovely shoes you're wearing - would you mind if I take a closer look?" Spend no more than three seconds looking, then say, "They're quite nice. I'm inclined to buy my wife a pair. May I ask where you purchased them?"

[SF]

Becks, Thanks for your answer.... I imagine the reason I have never asked a woman where she got her shoes is because I don't want her to think I am a "perv" - or worse... Maybe some day I will try it and see what happens - I just hope I don't get arrested !!! ha ha Thanks again ... SF P. S. Where do you get your shoes ? lol....

[Laurieheels]

If you don't know the woman, then it's risky. If you look young and single, and don't have a wedding ring, and ask about shoes based on getting some for the wife, well... If you are going to ask, try to take advantage of the situation. See, women might think you are a perv. However, if you claim to be a drag performer you might get a better answer, provided the lady is, well, accepting of that sort of thing. I mean, if a guy asked me about my shoes and mentioned that, then I'd have no problem with it. I'd be happy to talk about the shoes. However, if he seems afraid, leery, or lacking in confidence, then I would probably not wish to converse for a long time. As well, if he is too forward, too confident, and maybe even overbearing... then I am ready for fight or flight. As well, too casual is bad, it can make you seem like you are trying to hide something. It's not easy unless you know the person a little bit. But if you read the situation and react accordingly, then you will do better than if you just outright ask and use some practiced story that may not fit the moment.

[virginie]

I think a lot has to do with how it is asked. If a guy would stare at my shoes for a long time in a horny kind of way, I wouldn't like him asking me about my shoes. Except if he buys me some champagne or something PS do check out the new Sugababes video. it's very high heel fetishy

[new_look]

I asked Jade and a couple of her friends this one, and they seem to think if someone came upto you cant just said 'excuse me, would you mind telling me where you got your shoes. Theyre fantastic.' etc they wouldnt see that causing a problem. I can see peoples suspicion if you approach them in a wierd way though Could make someone v nervous.

[JeffM]

I had to give blood twice this week; they stuffed up the first one by not doing all the tests asked of them. The nurse about 40 some thing wore a black straight skirt and black jacket fitted over the hips, stockings (or pantyhose) and long pointy toed shoes, sling back style with about a 3 inch stiletto heel. On the second visit I asked Me:- are you a stiletto girl then? She: - Ooh yes I have even been known to buy them second hand when they are not in fashion. Thanks heaven they are now though. Me:- you can buy them on the internet now do you know. She: - yes I have been looking at that. Me:- well I think they look very nice on you, they go well with your outfit. She: - thank you it is very nice of you to say so. Part of the blood testing was a glucose tolerance test for diabetes. It involves 3 lots of blood letting over 2 hours, an initial blood then one at 1 hour and the last at 2 hours after drinking a very sweet brew. On the way back to the office to give the second the sample I said to her “we have to stop meeting like this in front of all the staff.” She replied “yes next time it’s out to dinner or forget it.” When I was about to leave after finishing all I had to give I said “so I will see you next week then?” She said “yes and don’t forget the roses” I think it is great when you can have some fun with some one who you don’t know but who joins in making life that more enjoyable. Maybe not entirely relevant to this thread but I certainly felt that if I had asked where she got her shoes from she would have had no problems telling me.

[Guest Allu]

If I were you, I would send i big bunch of roses even though I would ever met her. But do you remember her name?

[highheellover]

I think if she is hot then ask her.

[JeffB]

Well, female co-workers often ask me where I get my shoes (some are amazed women's shoes go up to 13), so I think there's no problem in satisfying my curiosity when I see a co-worker wearing nice shoes. I wouldn't ask a total stranger mind you, only someone I know.

[Spikes]

Having a passion for heels, especially stiletto pumps, I have complimented many strangers over the years when I find them wearing a pair of sexy shoes. All the women have taken the compliment positively. As many of the posters have said, if you are polite and not creepy about it, they will most likely not be offended. My most recent encounter was a couple of weeks ago when I spied this woman going into the post office wearing a black business suit, jet black stockings and black stiletto pumps with little rivets on them. I waited for her to come out of the post office and stood with her at the intersection waiting for the light to change. Here is how the discussion went: Me: I wanted to compliment you on your shoes. She: Thank you very much. I love wearing heels. Me: I sorry more women don't wear them. They are so much more feminine than some of the clunky styles available. She: Pumps are my favorite style. Me: Me too. I prefer them much to platforms. Platforms are so clunky....I call them cheater heels. (I can't believe we are still walking down the street chatting about heels.....I worry because I don't know how many blocks she is walking) Me: Do you wear heels often? She: Most of the time. Me: And you don't find them uncomfortable? She: They are very easy to wear, if they are well made shoes. Me: Where do you buy most of your shoes? She: Oh, different stores. I really like the styles that Baker's has. Me: I'm sure glad that feminine styles are coming back. Did you ever buy shoes from Wild Pair before they went out of business? I always thought they had some of the nicest pumps. She: I don't think I ever did. Me: I guess they're even available on the internet now. Do you ever buy shoes on-line, like E-bay? She: I've seen heels on-line, but never bought a pair there. Me: You know, I was in Los Angeles a couple of weeks ago and went into Fredericks of Hollywood. They have some great high heels that aren't very expensive. She: Those are too high for me Me: Yea, but they are still very attractive. And besides, those shoes you are wearing are pretty high. (she stops and lifts her foot as if to check out the heel height.....I am in heaven at this point) They look like about 4 inches to me. She: Do you think so? (I wanted to crouch down and measure them, but restrained myself from doing it) Me: They look pretty high to me. Well nice chatting with you. (We have walked about two blocks together and are coming to a point where we have to go left or right...I was hoping she was going left, but she went right) Have a great day. She: You do the same. Bye! What a great experience. I have played it back in my head many times. It confirms these posts that, if you appear harmless and are honest about it, you can have some very interesting conversations about heel wearing. I was thinking that the next time I saw her, I might remind her about our discussion and see if she wanted to continue the topic, perhaps over lunch. It would be great to spend an hour with someone who admires heels as much as I do.

[Stormie]

Doubting anyone would compliment me on mine but if someone just asked then I don't see it being a problem. Have asked and been asked about t-shirts, jeans, bags, jackets, trainers... more recently, Hallow'en decorations... if it goes along the lines of 'Excuse me, I really like your (whatever), do you mind if I ask where you got it?". I think if a bloke asked me I'd just assume it was for an SO or friend (in fact, I have been asked about a dress by a bloke and I didn't even think about it - that only just occured to me!).

[Anita C.]

Generally I tell them and think nothing more about it. If they're honest and straightforeward that's as far as the conversation goes. IF, however, there is an alterior motive, I ask POLITELY what they really want. This makes them either put up or shut up. I don't want excuses, I want the truth. Namaste', Anita C.

[Amanda]

You know, I don't ever remember any guys asking me that. I have had one or two comments from guys about shoes I've worn but very rarely and mostly in jest.

[Ninanoora]

Pretty much what Anita C. said above, but although I love to get comments on what im wearing, especially if they are nice .

[RPMindy]

i've gotten a lot of different responses over the years when asking women where they get their shoes from. you have to know how to read a situation so you don't come across as a perv or are intruding on their thoughts. so.. if the coast looks clear, i'll make a comment. nothing bad ever came of it, but one friend told me i should stop because she thinks that the women think i'm a perv when i ask. most volunteer more info than i'd expected. the worse i've gotten was a few bad stares or confused looks.. but nothing bad. and i've 'recovered' well in most instances. one gal told me she didn't know and would love to take her shoe off to find out, but because she had them on all day was a bit self-conscious. oh well. some have loved the fact i noticed and wanted to chat more, but i wasn't in a position to stay and chat. so, it all depends. and some places or settings, i'll never ask for fear of triggering fears in the woman. RPM

[latindancer]

I have to agree with half the people here. If the comment or compliment is sincere and not to freaky then the woman will be more than happy to give you the place where she got them. Just don't be freaky and constantly look at them without acknowledging her.

[thedesigner]

slightly different tack, but its wkd when a girly mag features the shoes a couple of weeks later than when i bought them (as happened with the black patent/purple leather ones i wore to the WHM, some brown leather lace up calf boots and some red tap style heels). Wish i'd been a fashion designer when i was younger, just starting buying womens tops etc to put on ebay, got some and soulmate and daughter (who didnt come buying with me) immediately nicked 2 tops.....

[amandahls]

From time to time I will see a gal wearing a pair of cute sandals that I would like to get for my wife - or myself. Many times I have wanted to ask the woman where she got her shoes but have been to "shy" to ask. Is asking a stranger where she got her shoes something that would be out of line ?? Or too personal ?? I would like to hear from the gals out there what you think...

Thanks... SF

I wouldn't mind at all. There's no harm in that and I would gladly answer them should the question come up. It's like if someone were to comment me on my hair and where I get it done at....I wouldn't hesitate to say where.

[Stockw]

I've asked a a couple of women where their shoes came from, both times it was after complimenting them first. Sometimes makes for an interesting conversation.

[RHTRick]

There was a particular situation at a computer convention where I had witnessed many women in heels. I was at this particular booth where there were two women in business suits(Goodness I love That!) They both had great shoes on! I could tell that one pair had to be Chinese Laundry Stilettos and the other woman's heels looked to me anyway, as Nine West. I was looking at the booth goodies when the woman I thought was the most attractive (Dark Hair, Green eyes, 5ft 9 In. or so with heels. 130LBSish about early 40s) she asked me if I knew about one of the certain products. I did and we talked about it for about 2 or 3 minutes and I commented on her heels. I said, I thought they were extremely nice and asked where she bought them. They were in fact Chinese Laundry and she bent her leg back and removed one and handed it to me! She had tan pantyhose on with a slight reinforced toe (which I love) and I was holding this sexy heel with an incredibly sharp arch (Like most Chinese Laundry Heels). I asked her if they are uncomfortable to wear after awhile. She replied no, actually they are very comfortable. I felt she could tell something about me as she grinned a very naughty grin. They were dark red with a peep toe and a natural leather soul and heel! As I held her shoe, she leaned over and whispered, "I doubt they have them in your size." with that naughty grin and gorgeous red glossy lipstick! I looked at her with a sexy grin and said "Pity isn't it?" She replied, "Most definitely!, I think you'd look great in them!" I looked at her intensely and said, " I know you do for sure!" as I handed it back and she asked me to place it on her foot! I passed my hand over her foot to feel the nylon and the shoe slid right on and we exchanged cards. We have exchanged very sexy and risque' emails for about 2 years now! I confessed I wear heels and dress and love feeling feminine! She keeps saying someday we will get together and go shopping. She knows I want to do much more! My spouse knows nothing of it!

[DeSalto]

RHTRick Fantastic! One of the most exciting stories I´ve read in this forum.

[johnieheel]

Great story but on the other hand, what if this story was reversed and that was your spouse and some other man? R U OK with that?

[fastfreddy2]

I've been asking women where they got their shoes from, (and coat/dress/jewellery/perfume) for many years. Quite often, whatever they are wearing, they've had so long they can't remember the source. This is particularly frustrating with shoes, as availability of these seldom stretch across more than one season.

Only a month a ago, I approached a lady in my local supermarket and asked about her coat. Seems it had been her daughters for a year, and was passed to her mother (the lady I had approached) who took in on and she had been the current owner for a further 2 years... Her candour made us both laugh.

This evening I (almost literally) dragged my tired and hungry wife practically straight from work to Brent Cross (a medium sized shopping mall in North London). I've bought many of my current shoe wardrobe from shops there, including Fenwicks/John Lewis which both sell Nine West shoes [despite there being a Nine West shop in the mall] and the budget priced New Look. [The latter being particularly useful since they seem to use someone with my sized feet for their UK8/EU41 shoes and boots.]

Her good self needs some new work shoes. While they will be shoes that might get 38 hours use most weeks for a year, they are typically the cheapest she will buy. [she may need to be told about the error of her ways regarding this ....]

So we went to Barratts. [budget shoes shop trying to aspire to better things by hiking their product prices up.]

A pair of Kickers were tried, and thankfully they were returned to the browsing shelf. I had spotted a couple of ladies while this was going on, one of whom seemed to be interested in a purchase. I was a tad surprised, because they looked so well dressed they might be visitors to the UK, rather than permanent residents. [brent Cross is a shopping centre easily reached from most of London. However, the location is fairly cosmopolitan, and English is not the first language of many of the regular shoppers there. It is an expensive area to live in too.] I'm sure I heard the two ladies speaking English ....

One of the ladies sat close to me and naturally (to me leastways) I noticed her boots. Tight fitting, slim black suede knee length wedges, with a single black leather strip up the side of the boots. They looked expensive, and definitely not "Barratts class" footwear.

I must currently own 5 or 6 pairs of boots, all of which are significantly looser around the calf that I like. Consequently most of them are going to be sold, but I am still looking for some truly slim boots for my skinny legs. [Didn't do netball or football, preferring cycling, with the result being I have slim/scrawny legs .... ]

Once I was sure we were leaving, and as I walked past the lady sitting while waiting for her friend, I spoke to her.

The words that left my mouth (and while smiling) were "I really like your boots, <pause> could you tell me where you got them from?" A look of bewilderment was all the returned conversation. Perhaps I wasn't heard? I repeated what I had said, still smiling, my voice a tad louder. Still an odd look, a head shake, and a look away. 'Okay' thinks I, and walked out of the shop with my wife.

It's the first failure I've ever had. I don't know if she thought I was trying to 'chat her up', or broke some cultural code by speaking directly to her, but I was about as embarrassed as I've ever been.

On the up side, I did get (yet another) two pairs of ankle boots while I was there.

[Note to self: Be more prudent when approaching people who may be visitors to the UK.]

...

[euchrid]

It's the first failure I've ever had. I don't know if she thought I was trying to 'chat her up', or broke some cultural code by speaking directly to her, but I was about as embarrassed as I've ever been.

What a bi-atch!

She heard you alright. If language was the issue, she would have done a "sorry, but I don't understand you" gesture

She's was obviously a snob & a knee-jerk response type of person

Before you spoke to her, she'd probably already mentally labelled every customer in the place as a chav, a plebian or some other form of underclass.

She would have been mortified that one of 'those people' was attempting to engage her in conversation

The topic was probably irrelevant - you could have told her she was on fire & she'd still have ignored you.

You should have said in a loud voice "HELLO… AM I INVISIBLE OR SOMETHING!"

If still ignored, tell her she's an ignorant, stuck-up cow and just stride off. Let her feel some embarrasment for a change.

[sevenup]

Hi Euchrid, cannot agree with you more on that! Although never happened when asking about shoes etc. it just seems too crop up in everyday life more than ever , i hate ignorance. It costs nothing! I always make a point of letting them know how i feel if they don't acknowledge me.! I saw a lady with some bags some time ago, i actually returned too the door too open it for her(having caught her out of the corner of my eye) she just stolled on through, nothing said, so as i passed her i quietly said , "see the next door , open it yourself, !!" and strolled off making sure i shut thedoor behind me. Ignorant c-w!! I will add its not just women so as i do not offend anyone!!!! LOL.

[johnieheel]

Hi Euchrid, cannot agree with you more on that!

Although never happened when asking about shoes etc. it just seems too crop up in everyday life more than ever , i hate ignorance.

It costs nothing! I always make a point of letting them know how i feel if they don't acknowledge me.!

I saw a lady with some bags some time ago, i actually returned too the door too open it for her(having caught her out of the corner of my eye) she just stolled on through, nothing said, so as i passed her i quietly said , "see the next door , open it yourself, !!" and strolled off making sure i shut thedoor behind me. Ignorant c-w!! I will add its not just women so as i do not offend anyone!!!! LOL.

That just put you down to her level.

I would have opened the next door for her and said "your welcome".

Or maby she had something on her mind that drew her away from the thought that you were being a gentleman. You never know what goes on in a persons life. Maby she had an unfortunate situation prior to shopping that drew her away from her thoughts or something bad happened. You never know. Just be nice any way. It will come back. Vengeance is not ours to give.

[roniheels]

I've never asked a woman where she got her high heels. I have complemented women on their high heels and they always say "thank you" then give me a curious look.Maybe the looks intimidated me enough not to pursue it any further. Some women have complemented me when I'm wearing high heels in public. But I don't remember any of them asking me where I got them.

[crotchboots-m]

i might compliment a woman on her heels,but i never ask where she got them. i wear a us womens size 14,so i dont think the place where she got them would have them in my size in any case. and i dont want to creep them out anymore than i have too...lol