Taking that next step? Progression

[KneeBooted]

So a while back, I had posted in one of the threads about how a girl I am friends with at church was eyeing my riding boots one day when I was wearing them under jeans. I called her out on it, and since then we have discussed shoes somewhat and she has seen pictures of my heeled boots and current converse wedges I have been wearing to church. So that's one girl who knows and I called her out on.

Then two weeks ago, another girl at church saw my wedges, asked if they were wedges, and in front of some other people I initially denied it, because in all fairness I was caught off guard and nervous. Afterwards, I told her she was in fact correct, and she complimented me saying that she likes them.

Then there was today. After service, the our minister's wife was standing in our lobby/gathering area. As I walked past her, she was dead faced staring at my shoes. Now I'm an observant person, so I noticed her looking. I then proceed to watch her go over to the first girl I told to ask if she noticed I was wearing wedges. Now I can read lips pretty darn well, for those that don't know. Again, they still are unaware I am privvy to their conversation. The first girl tells the minister's wife she knows about them, and tells her I also have boots that are flat and heeled. Now the second girl walks up to them to say hi. Minister's wife asks her if she knew I was wearing wedges, to which she said she found out two weeks ago.

So the minister's wife leaves, then I go over and call the two girls out on it. Not in a mean way, but a playful, hey I know you were talking about my shoes. You should have included me lol.

They try to deny it and play it off, whatever. So then I message the minister's wife on Facebook, and informed her if she is curious, she can always ask me about my shoes directly. She apologized profusely and complimented me, saying she thought they looked good and she loved the color!

I told her not to be shocked in the fall/winter time. She said she won't be, but she'll make sure to let me know if she likes the shoes I wear!

The reason this is important is because up until roughly this June, I would never have contemplated wearing any kind of heel or wedge around our church.

So I guess I'm finally less nervous and apprehensive now. Once the minister's wife knows, all the ladies will know, haha.

Overall though, I'm glad I had a chance to talk with her. It makes me more comfortable with wearing them around people I know won't judge me, even though I fear they will...

[Cali]

The next step is to announce it to the congregation for the few that haven't heard. Or you could put a notice in the church newsletter. (just kidding)

So they will be looking are your shoes. You can do nothing but own it and enjoy it.  Always have stylist shoes from now on. Make the women envy your heels. Have fun, there's nothing else you can do.

[MackyHeels]

2 hours ago, KneeBooted said:

So a while back, I had posted in one of the threads about how a girl I am friends with at church was eyeing my riding boots one day when I was wearing them under jeans. I called her out on it, and since then we have discussed shoes somewhat and she has seen pictures of my heeled boots and current converse wedges I have been wearing to church. So that's one girl who knows and I called her out on.

Then two weeks ago, another girl at church saw my wedges, asked if they were wedges, and in front of some other people I initially denied it, because in all fairness I was caught off guard and nervous. Afterwards, I told her she was in fact correct, and she complimented me saying that she likes them.

Then there was today. After service, the our minister's wife was standing in our lobby/gathering area. As I walked past her, she was dead faced staring at my shoes. Now I'm an observant person, so I noticed her looking. I then proceed to watch her go over to the first girl I told to ask if she noticed I was wearing wedges. Now I can read lips pretty darn well, for those that don't know. Again, they still are unaware I am privvy to their conversation. The first girl tells the minister's wife she knows about them, and tells her I also have boots that are flat and heeled. Now the second girl walks up to them to say hi. Minister's wife asks her if she knew I was wearing wedges, to which she said she found out two weeks ago.

So the minister's wife leaves, then I go over and call the two girls out on it. Not in a mean way, but a playful, hey I know you were talking about my shoes. You should have included me lol.

They try to deny it and play it off, whatever. So then I message the minister's wife on Facebook, and informed her if she is curious, she can always ask me about my shoes directly. She apologized profusely and complimented me, saying she thought they looked good and she loved the color!

I told her not to be shocked in the fall/winter time. She said she won't be, but she'll make sure to let me know if she likes the shoes I wear!

The reason this is important is because up until roughly this June, I would never have contemplated wearing any kind of heel or wedge around our church.

So I guess I'm finally less nervous and apprehensive now. Once the minister's wife knows, all the ladies will know, haha.

Overall though, I'm glad I had a chance to talk with her. It makes me more comfortable with wearing them around people I know won't judge me, even though I fear they will...

Love your experience at church.

Found very funny and can somewhat relate.

Although i never call out anyone like yourself, wearing my outfits, had amusing encounters of fellow parishioners about my state of dress outside of the church, at the gym. Let's say certain females attending the church recognize my face and wanted to do a intervention or have the pastor of the church do something about it.   Funny thing was it backfired on some lady parishioners them being to timid to confront me about my outfits, while them being taught a lesson related to a homily on Sunday in front of entire church. Enough to say, "take out the thorn in your eye before you try to fix someone elses." Pastor said loudly "STOP MEDDLING! in peoples lives" 

Like you i never contemplate wearing heels to church seeing many might find it disrespectful.  Hearing experiences of others in various times in my life of what the church expectation are for parishioners to follow in terms of dress code.

Many people are born in manner which they been taught to wear their best dress clothes to church every Sunday. Seeing many don't follow that rule, few do, but it doesn't forbid anyone to enter or participate in Sunday service regardless. Heard stories when folks were vacationing in the Caribbean going to local church, in there white summer clothes, shorts, sandals, tank top, although formal in style were denied entry to put on pants to enter the Sunday church service. So it always stuck with me don't make waves always wear pants no matter the heat lucky my church has A/C. While sometimes i would prefer to wear bootie heel in my tight denim jeans i compromise in flatter sneakers while staring upon many females in court heels, d'orsay pumps or knee high boots even thong sandals.

Do receive some stares upon my conservative skinny jeans i wear to the church or should i say snug, compared to what i normally would wear on the street. Yet do see the angst, hatred on some ladies faces at the church totally disagreeing of my choice of attire. Suppose i sort of make these ladies sin being judgmental upon my state of outfits yet i never seem to complete it entirely, heels in particular just because it would send shockwaves and more bitterness from the parishioners. Although find it bit ironic of the judgemental status of fellow church members which i don't know.  Unless i wear a Hugo Boss suit with patent leather loafers i'm considered an outcast or someone to ignore. Even when fellow  parishioners have moment to show a sign of peace sometimes i'm rejected or omitted to share a handshake of particular lady only because her adult daughter has crush on me.

Hope the Minister doesn't object with your footwear. Surprises me that none has quoted  a verse in the bible stating, no man shall wear women garments vice versa. Guess it's too late to object about women wearing pants  to church is there? 

Glad you challenged your fellow church mates getting the 600 lbs gorilla off the pue. Don't you love it when you expect negative reactions, they often turn to lust, desire, envy, jealousy about the outfit.  

Lol, suppose we both are making weak woman in our respected churches, SiN like the devil's we are..... If you believe in tribulation end times guess Lucifer coming back to earth will be wearing heels along beside sitting on his throne his sharp pitchfork and long tail dressed in neon red. Many may complain his outfits clash to much needing to style in better contrasting colours.... Until then keep wearing what you want, just wish i had the courage like you.

 

 

 

 

 

Edited July 24, 2017 by MackyHeels

[jeremy1986]

I agree with @Cali - now that its out there, and no one is objecting (and to have the minister's wife happy with it is a big thing!) - you might as well push forwards and enjoy it! 

[KneeBooted]

I will say that one of the main reasons I was apprehensive was the fear of being judged.

Although there is no where in the Bible that says 'men shall not wear women's clothing,' there is still that mindset that I will be judged, outcast, shamed, whatever.

But when I take a step back and really think about it, I go to a non-denominational Christian church. I am very involved in the church and I am known there by many people. Wearing women's clothes, or even just heels, is not a sin. Those who pass judgement, if they do, are sinners. I believe we all have some flaw, seen or unseen. So if I can just remember that fact in case someone ever passes judgment, I can breathe easy.

I did wonder if part of the reason they accepted it so easily is because of how involved I am. You know, "we mustn't upset him because he helps out so much." But I do think it's truly the fact that they are accepting of it.

The minister's wife, when I called her out, realized her flaw/mistake because what she did was gossip, even though it was to two other women that already knew. She was embarrassed because I caught her in a sin essentially.

Either way, she is accepting and knows now, so we will see where it goes from here.

@Cali, For the time being, that is hot and humid here in the Louisville, KY area, I am limited to just use two pairs of wedge Converse. So I will try to wear them and look as stylish as possible!

[pebblesf]

Well, it seems ironic that you guys would encounter difficulties in chuch, where folks are supposed to be non judgemental and accepting! 

Knee:  I LOVE the way you softly confronted the church ladies on their gossiping, this solved all the issues immediately! 

Macky:  You have a great pastor for sure!  I don't blame you for being hesitant to wear heels to church, gossip surely travels quickly there! 

I guess my "next step" had been to wear my boots around co workers/flight crew on layovers.  The 3.5" Frye riding heel booties are no big deal, I let the levis ride proudly on the heal ridges.  I wear my 4.5 black stiletto boots also, but the heels are mostly covered.  These boots look pretty similar to the regular black cowboy boots I wear on the job, so they seem "normal" for me, unless coworkers look closely.  I like them because the soles and heels are nicely cushioned and don't make a lot of click/clacking noise.  So far, only one coworker has commented, after a few drinks...She was getting a little loud, and wouldn't let it go, so I retreated a bit. 

My obvious next step is to pull up the jeans and expose the heel if someone calls me out on it....

Great work guys!

 

[Cali]

It's ironic how some Christians select what to follow. Most forget Matthew 7: 1-3 "Judge not, that ye be not judged."

I know I am judged daily but I also in 4-6 inch heels, I can see it in their eyes as I walk pass.

 

 

[MackyHeels]

Kneebooted: about your quote "you know, "we mustn't upset him because he helps out so much." But I do think it's truly the fact that they are accepting of it. 

Ask yourself do they have a choice....?  Interesting comments about how your ministers wife were talking to your female friends talking behind your back, saying it was gossip. Yet, the two females you playfully confronted asking what they was the nature of the conversation with the ministers wife, they began to lie denying it was about you or your wedge heels. That is tell sign of their stance upon your wedge heels. When three women come together one points out asking about it in shock disbelief, while the others answer in "i know" manner, you can be sure they share the same negative opinion together. Otherwise one of them would be confused  objecting to the ministers wife what is wrong with her pointing it out. If indeed the ministers wife and female friends at the church liked your wedges they wouldn't huddle together but voice their opinion together saying oh how i love your shoes,  to everyone listening. Just like they do with other women about their hair or outfit purses, or makeup.

Just like you i having numerous times  overheard conversations unknown to the them about me wearing this or that. In every circumstance the message i always heard was jealousy and disapproval of my attire by them. Even though the same woman give me a friendly smiling face saying hello  while in truth disapprove with my clothes i'm wearing.  Sometimes what people say isn't always the truth saving you for embarrassment or the entire truth they all feel.

Having your female church friends say they love your wedges only to omit the "but" factor, feelings they are made for females only, not males to wear, so it is wrong or very least odd. So woman often hide their true feelings saying something complimentary while we jump the gun take it as a compliment which in fact isn't. For example if someone says they love a certain car does that mean they love you because you may own that particular model..

So i'm always wary whenever someone compliments my clothes or choice of colours i maybe wearing. In truth they just may like the fabric or style, but often  in reality have reservations seeing me wear it, if they fully aware it's female attire. That is why whenever i get a compliment or some sort of attention drawn to my clothes from a female the tone of her voice goes down, as to not draw any undue attention for anyone else to overhear. Why the sudden whisper from them is because they don't want to embarrass me or point out that my clothes are womenswear to those individuals that aren't fashion savvy.

Only way to test out my theory about the above is you have an opportunity to push the boundaries of your outfit and heels. See how the ministers wife would react as your female church friends if you came in wearing designer court heel stilettos, nude glossy pantyhose, and over the knee length fitted skirt.  Bet the minister would pull you aside privately and have a talking to about your clothes. Seeing you are sort of unnoticed or flying under the radar only keen savvy fashion centric females may notice your wedge heel sneakers.  Then you are dismissed even bit ignored but wearing full on stiletto heel isn't something that can be hidden but attention getting.

Good luck with your Church experiences, although you seem not the type to run or hide wearing what you do...

Curious question because you now have the cat out of the bag sort of speak, some females seeing you indeed wear feminine heels does it make you want to wear more traditional heels, such as courts, platform, sandal heels and outfits?  Does the feeling you now embrace at the church want you to paint your toenails, wear a skirt progressively appear more feminine only because you find them some church goers encouraging your style? Found out myself when i had self doubt wearing feminine clothes in the gym having a sudden euphoric experience with female complimenting my style choice, taste and discussion of female clothes heels in general. Made me relentless to the point buying more new and exciting feminine clothes i could wear. Otherwise i would be in flux feeling self doubt and maybe appearing tired, boring, and silly... 

Yes it  is in the bible, Deuteronomy 22:5 often than not, eating pork, shellfish, crab, shrimp, lobster is forbidden or very least good health advice but many do it even the clergy. 

 

Pebblesf: The pastor is character in my church doubt any other traditional priest would feel the same way. Gossip isn't my concern but funny fact is my pastor got gift membership at a gym from one of the rich parishioners guess what gym he attends? Lol.. These female parishioners don't talk to me even when some notice me in the gym wearing my revealing female yoga outfits. Them thinking if there words go on deaf ears to the pastor they might as well have him see me in my element in the gym.. LOL.....

Well again it backfired on these church ladies because the pastor seeing me in the locker room, whirlpool,  pool, gym floor, street clothes outside, in my 4 inch block  heel booties and super skinny jean leggings... He admires my physique even voiced his opinion to me often times whenever i see him. Once i remembered as i was on the pool deck began to slowly stepping into the hot 20 foot oval jacuzzi which i wasn't aware seeing him sitting in. Him saying, loudly as per usual in church sunday mass, homily manner, "PERFECTION at Last!"onto me as i was wearing tiny wet bikini brief, later telling me how incredibly fit i appear.  

While often before i get shocked stares from strange woman in the whirlpool as i step in. Once the lovely female aqua instructor was in having conversation with another older lady in the hot tub as i made my way in. The strange older woman whipped her head back towards me observing me slowly walking down the steps of the whirlpool, with her open mouth disbelief reaction stare. As i settled down neck deep in the bubbling water i observed her being unnerved taken aback what she had witnessed. The woman soon began to step out of the whirlpool while the beautiful aqua instructor told her loudly, "next time take a picture! it will last you longer", while the woman smiled red faced looking back onto both of us.  

 

Cali: As you i see the very same thing eyes of people staring upon me sometimes glaring be it at a lineup in a store giving that look we all see to well upon my booties. 

 

 

Edited July 24, 2017 by MackyHeels

[blueparrot]

Church is one of the safer places.  The musical ladies on stage routinely wear 5 to 6" killer heels and boots most every week.  One of them comes from very wealthy family so the shoes are from Neiman Marcus, Saks, etc.  I haven't had any trouble there or the church in Scottsdale before moving. I do remember having trouble with one man in New Mexico once some years ago.  He asked my wife how she could allow me to dress like that.  He had a lot of other troubles though and his wife had enough and left him.  In all seriousness I have had more trouble in bars, on streets where bars are found, and near certain college campuses.  People who are drinking too much start mouthing off and can be quite mean.

[Cali]

Not all that gossip have negative thoughts. I walked to my mailbox in another building the other day and past a group of 8 women eating together at an outdoor table. They are in a certificate program so 50 all take lunch at the same time. They were talking about my heels, obvious. When I walked past them on the way back one said, "We really like your heels. We've seen you in many other heels and you always got great heels." And of course I got several of "I can't wear heels that high, I'll fall over". Then of course what size are you, etc.

Now when I walk past them, they want to know "who I'm wearing" and what color my nails are.

[mlroseplant]

I have recently recounted my church story elsewhere on this forum, so I will not repeat it in full here. I am well accepted at my church, and I never feel it's like, "Oh, we mustn't upset him." However, I do agree with @Cali that not all background talk about your heels is negative. I have found that in many cases, people talk amongst themselves, but are nervous to ask me directly. That's really a pretty normal reaction. Fairly recently, I had to occasion to have a private meeting about some staffing issues with our Associate Pastor. He's been with us for about a year. He had never mentioned anything or reacted in any way about my heels up to that time. Toward the end of our meeting, he finally asked about my heels, almost apologetically. As it turns out, he has enthusiastically admired my courage to wear what I like from the first time he met me, but it took a year of wondering until there was finally an appropriate time to ask me. I think in our minds we often think that people are way more negative than they actually are.

[HappyinHeels]

Kneebooted,

Let's not forget this all takes place in a house of worship. It matters not what you wore on your feet to get into that house of worship. It matters immensely you showed up to worship HIM. That is the whole premise of fellowship. Virtually all faiths hold only a supreme being may judge any one of us. Better to so judged standing up than on your knees cowing to onlookers. Lest anyone there forget: all are welcome who are there to worship.   You have indeed cleared a big hurdle. Lift your head and move forward  for you have their attention and, I hope, mutual respect. The content  of one's character, the visible side of your soul, is what matters and not the shoes on one's  feet. HappyinHeels

[jeremy1986]

What about 

On ‎24‎/‎07‎/‎2017 at 1:40 PM, KneeBooted said:

Although there is no where in the Bible that says 'men shall not wear women's clothing,' ....

what about https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Deuteronomy+22:5&version=KJV ? 

[mlroseplant]

1 hour ago, jeremy1986 said:

What about 

what about https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Deuteronomy+22:5&version=KJV ? 

I was rather hoping that comment would slip by unnoticed, but I see it didn't. So I have to point out that just a few short verses before the one you quote here, it says that if you've got an obstinate son, and you can prove to the town elders that he is stubborn and disobedient (I never heard of a teenage boy like that :p), you get to stone him to death.

Let's face it, most of the stuff in the Pentateuch after about halfway through Exodus we ignore completely, and by "we" I am including modern day Jews and Muslims as well as Christians. The no-pork-eating thing is one of the few rules that still seems to hold some sway, for some odd reason. At least we gave up animal sacrifice long ago. Can you imagine going to church every Sunday and dealing with the mess and the stench of burning flesh? Not to mention the ethical concerns it might raise.

I'm probably going to make somebody upset, but I can sleep very well at night as a Christian and at the same time completely ignore all the superstitious practices of our forefathers in religion.

[KneeBooted]

If by some chance, western Christians bring back stoning people to death, may I be rinestoned, hahahhaha!

But seriously, being Christian myself, I agree that there tends to be things we overlook, and things we tend to focus on...

[MackyHeels]

It's not just Christian's belief about bending gender attire,  so out of fair mindedness thoughts about Muslim woman wearing heels.

What is the ruling on women wearing high heels?

Wearing high heels is not permissible because it exposes women to the risk of falling, and we are commanded in sharee’ah to avoid danger in a general sense, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“And do not kill yourselves”

[al-Nisa’ 4:29] 

“and do not throw yourselves into destruction”

[al-Baqarah 2:195] 

It also makes women look taller than they really are and makes their posteriors appear more prominent, and this is a kind of deception and showing the adornments which the believing woman is forbidden to show, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like both eyes for necessity to see the way, or outer palms of hands or one eye or dress like veil, gloves, headcover, apron), and to draw their veils all over Juyoobihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, or their fathers, or their husband’s fathers, or their sons, or their husband’s sons, or their brothers or their brother’s sons, or their sister’s sons, or their (Muslim) women (i.e. their sisters in Islam)” [al-Noor 24:31] 

From Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, Majallat al-Buhooth, 9/46. 

Moreover, it also makes a woman lean forward (maa’ilah ila al-amaam), so there is the fear that the warning issued to those women who walk with an enticing gait (al-maa’ilaat al-mumilaat) may apply to her too [in the hadeeth which says that such women will never even smell the fragrance of Paradise from afar]. It also harms the back, as has been proven medically. The heels also make a sound which attracts the attention of men and is a temptation to them. We ask Allaah to keep us all safe and sound.

Interesting take on it. Yet more laws state stopping men wearing certain clothes that might arouse a female? 

Is it just me or do you find western females who don't practice Islamic dress code, find those who wear facial headwear, covering everything except their eyes, angry at those who do? Sort of same analogy of westernized woman  seeing us males wearing woman fashions. 

See a Muslim woman bring her young son to a pool. She wears clothing covering herself head to toe swimming in it. Hear non-muslim complain saying it is unsanitary and against pool regulations. Yet asks me if you or i dare to voice a opinion it's wrong or very offensive to the Muslim female swimming.  While  we all smile only observing her swim yet detected from her stares towards me what i wasn't wearing is objectionable and highly offensive for any female to look upon. Let's say i like to show off my complete buff body very well in as legally allowable. Lol.... Just find it amusing the contrast between fundamentalist muslim woman trying to cover up with the premise from men getting aroused looking at her body, yet  observes me initially showing my body off with her assumption with the opposite effect.

Edited July 27, 2017 by MackyHeels

[Shyheels]

Well, I have spent time in Dubai and saw a lot of hijab/burka wearing women who were also wearing their Jimmy Choo stilettos or Louboutins etc.

In Djibouti once I was in a seedy bar where the barmaid - who was pulling beers - was wearing a burka. It was surreal...

[pebblesf]

On ‎7‎/‎25‎/‎2017 at 8:46 AM, mlroseplant said:

I have recently recounted my church story elsewhere on this forum, so I will not repeat it in full here. I am well accepted at my church, and I never feel it's like, "Oh, we mustn't upset him." However, I do agree with @Cali that not all background talk about your heels is negative. I have found that in many cases, people talk amongst themselves, but are nervous to ask me directly. That's really a pretty normal reaction. Fairly recently, I had to occasion to have a private meeting about some staffing issues with our Associate Pastor. He's been with us for about a year. He had never mentioned anything or reacted in any way about my heels up to that time. Toward the end of our meeting, he finally asked about my heels, almost apologetically. As it turns out, he has enthusiastically admired my courage to wear what I like from the first time he met me, but it took a year of wondering until there was finally an appropriate time to ask me. I think in our minds we often think that people are way more negative than they actually are.

I agree, most whispering may actually be complimentary....And more often than not, the loudest critics are usually frustrated and envious....