What Am I Still Doing In Belgium?

[Impala]

Hi. Today, something happened that I want to discuss. I was at school (yes, I'm still a student) and we were discussing some articles of a newspaper. One advertisement advertised a free pair of heels when you would sign up for their newspaper. The article mentioned that the action only counted for women, men couldn't take heels. Somebody mentioned that it is sexist and discriminating to men. A guy made a joke about it, he said with much sarcasm that he would want a pair too. Then one of the girls said: "one of my friends has pumps, but yeah, he's gay. Obviously!" Most of the people laughed, some shouted "Gay!". I sat there and kept quiet. This made me think of a television show from last year, the belgian version of American Idol. One of the guys, again someone who was obviously gay and showed it well, wore heels often. The camera once filmed a close-up of the heels, clearly meant to make fun of it and show it to the whole country. A teen magazine had an article about the show and showed many pics of the shoes. What has become clear to me is that I certainly don't live in a men-in-heels-accepting country. I have no courage at all to go outside or even tell anybody of my passion, even my sister doesn't know it (yet). I'm too afraid that being seen would have negative effects on my life and relations to the people I know. I haven't ever seen any man in heels in Belgium, not even on the tv (but for that one show I mentioned) I guess that as long as I haven't graduated at the university, which will be at least 5 more years, I will stay in my old-fashioned Belgian homeland. My question for any British readers: how about Great Britain? How accepting is it? I plan on moving to there anyways in the future, many more job opportunities there for music producers. This is all I have to say for now. Please tell me, what do you think about this? How is your situation, your country, your city? See you again soon!

[freestyle75]

I guess it not only depends on the country, but also where you are within a certain country. I live in Germany - in a small town. You don't see anyone wearing anything that isn't "standard". Kilts for men? Heels? No way. Acceptance? I would rather say that people in general won't confront you or will shout anything. Most of the time. My hairdresser (she) said something along "whatever floats your boat", but liked my wedge heeled boots and asked where I got them. Even in the larger city that's closer to me, I've never seen a guy walking in heels. Again, most people don't care or might even not notice it because they are too busy with their own life/shopping/whatever. A city where probably ANY type of clothing is possible is Berlin. But then again, I don't want to move just to be able to wear what I want. Besides... being able to wear anything isn't always the best sign of being in a stylish city. Trendy yes, but stylish ... don't know. In UK, I think London is similar... but when you move to the countryside, it's probably the same as in any other European country. If you want to wear heels, just go ahead, no matter whether you are in Belgium, the Netherlands, Germany, UK or some other country. You shouldn't worry too much about what other people are saying. If I had always followed what other people were telling me, I wouldn't be where I am today - that is meant quite positive.

[HappyinHeels]

jonsken123, The short answer to your question is that you're still there out of necessity. When that necessity ends then you can move to the country of your choice. Belgium is overshadowed by France, the UK, and Gemany, and even to some extent, by the Netherlands. All better known and more populated countries. Belgium, on the other hand, is known as that quaint in-between place that is also home to the European Union which isn't so popular these days. I think its relative small ize compared to its neighbors creates a small-town atmosphere and perhaps the narrow-minded view of the world of some your media types and countrymen. Don't let it get you down, be the change you want to see, and be yourself. Your display of cofidence will crush any of their pettiness. HappyiHeels

[Rick24]

I understand what you mean, I live in n.Ireland and the people are boring, the men dress the same. act the same. and everyone is backward. the women are stuck up, rude snobby, loud and dress like sluts. they say things about people from the way they dress and it make's me angry. my aunt said some things about a man that wears a skirt she saw. it made me feel like I wanted to slap her in the face.

[dahool]

Well, few years ago I saw a young guy in Warsaw's metro (which BTW has got only one line, LOL) who wore those EMU boots. He was behaving normally although my "gaydar" turned up as he looked and behaved differently. Some chicks were staring at him and smiling for a laughter among themselves but nobody made any comment to this bloke.

I think that Warsaw isn't still a good place to wear high heels for few reasons:

• If you wear 5 of more inch pumps, you will be higher than most of the crowd and it gathers attention,
• The older part of society will call you a faggot, pedophile or whatever because these words often mean for them the same,
• For young girls it will also be a reason to discuss, stare and laugh
• For young guys you will be a fag, no doubt,
• And for most of all, there is no strict area of partying where nobody would take care about what you are wearing. It's not like a Broadway Street in Nottingham or a London City Center.

It's sad but it's true. Maybe some other folks from Poland have some other comments and they will make me change my mind and show me that I see the surrounding area wrongly.

[ilikekicks]

If you want to wear heels, just go ahead, no matter whether you are in Belgium, the Netherlands, Germany, UK or some other country. You shouldn't worry too much about what other people are saying. If I had always followed what other people were telling me, I wouldn't be where I am today - that is meant quite positive.

Wise words to be followed!

Just be yourself and go for a stroll Jori. At worst, you might get laughed at. *I* have been laughed at, MANY times. Ive been called names before. Hell, I even had my wifes car tires slashed by some idiot at strip club.

Ya know what? I still wear what I want to wear and the laughing and name calling doesnt bother me one bit.

[kneehighs]

The focus shouldn't be on either the acceptance or lack of acceptance your external environment provides you with. Such thinking risks giving away your personal power. The goal is your own peace of mind and confidence in YOUR heart that what you are doing is self-approved. For what it's worth, I wore heels everyday while constantly socializing with new people in Brussles over the course of 4 days and never once had a problem.

[Impala]

thanks to all of you for the replies! Of course I wouldn't move to anywhere just to wear heels. Just an idea of a simple mind. I guess this got me closer to the point where you guys are. I read a lot of topics and see how confidently you guys can out yourself. I have always been "accepted less easily", that's just me and our society. I think the discussions on this toppic are not at all over yet, so I'll see you all in future posts!

[Tom-NL]

I haven't ever seen any man in heels in Belgium (...)

One of the very first members of this forum came from Belgium. Search for the posts by Highluc, and look at the (no longer existing) website here. Or google for highluc.

[Steve63130]

Just about everyone here thinks their own environment is the most conservative backwater place, and among the most unaccepting of men in heels. Well EVERYONE can't be below average! The problem is that often the demons are in our heads. We're our own worst critics, and we tell ourselves that wearing heels is wrong, when it's not. It's just different. If you dare to be different, you risk being laughed at because that's how humans deal with situations that present discrepancies. Laughter the first time, but on the second encounter, not so much, and by the third time, yawn, it's just another guy in heels. We thought the same thing when guys first started to wear earrings. Now it's no big deal. If you're going to be a pioneer, expect to get an arrow or two in your back. But if you strut in confidence, that will overcome the criticisms. Steve

[bluejay]

Well said, Steve! Happy Heeling, bluejay

[kikepa]

I guess it not only depends on the country, but also where you are within a certain country.

I live in Germany - in a small town. You don't see anyone wearing anything that isn't "standard". Kilts for men? Heels? No way. Acceptance? I would rather say that people in general won't confront you or will shout anything. Most of the time. My hairdresser (she) said something along "whatever floats your boat", but liked my wedge heeled boots and asked where I got them.

Even in the larger city that's closer to me, I've never seen a guy walking in heels. Again, most people don't care or might even not notice it because they are too busy with their own life/shopping/whatever.

A city where probably ANY type of clothing is possible is Berlin. But then again, I don't want to move just to be able to wear what I want. Besides... being able to wear anything isn't always the best sign of being in a stylish city. Trendy yes, but stylish ... don't know.

In UK, I think London is similar... but when you move to the countryside, it's probably the same as in any other European country.

If you want to wear heels, just go ahead, no matter whether you are in Belgium, the Netherlands, Germany, UK or some other country. You shouldn't worry too much about what other people are saying. If I had always followed what other people were telling me, I wouldn't be where I am today - that is meant quite positive.

London, N.Y., San Francisco, Berlin, New Orleans, Seattle... I've been to them all, and all are fairly accepting of differences, but not all parts of them. Ever city has areas you should avoid, regardless of what you're wearing, but particularly if you're standing out. Similarly, I've come across dozens of other areas, even rural ones, where it was nothing special to see guys in kilts or other alternative clothing. Heels, not so much, but it's out there.

In Belgium, Antwerp is a becoming somewhat of a fashion center, but seemed fairly straight-laced when I visited. Bruges is the place that I've seen let their hair down. Lots of festivals, and that usually goes hand in hand with a more relaxed, accepting lifestyle. Those are the only two places I've been.

I like Steve63130's comments.

[Steve63130]

Thanks, Kikepa. Steve

[mtnsofheels]

Good points Kikepa and Steve, nicely said. Yes many of the demons are in ones mind for sure, I fretted about wearing heels out a few years back in Calgary,Canada which has a red neck cowboy oil patch city ability about it. And certainly if one were to wear them out to western style bar you may end up with some other afflictions, so read "danger area" there. But after purchasing a pair of 3.5"heeled boots from Fluevog downtown Calgary (last Oct) and wore them out into the busy streets, it was easy to do. That was so liberating to do in a place where I once feared of going before. As many have said before, like Dr Shoe, go for the busy places with lots of people because few will notice and fewer will say anything because its to busy. People may not want to point it out as they become the spectacle and not you. That worked like a charm, and now I just do not care. That gave me confidence. In places where testosterone outnumbers estrogen by a wide margin, those are "danger areas" (like industry towns or work sites). But I do feel that big cities here in western Canada are Ok for heeling but certainly have areas to be aware of, just like any place when you travel. Mtnsofheels

[Gudulitooo]

Students are very good at forming groups and excluding other students. They are very good at taking you into believing you will not live, graduate, or find a job if you are not in one of their groups. When you don't buy it, they will try to harass you. Hard to deal with. When student, I did not recognize myself in this. Nor did I find my wife among these other "well thinking" students. I am still alive. I have a very nice job.

You will always find people thinking you are gay. (By the way, you can even replace the word "gay" by any of the words in the dictionnary.)

I say better to accept the idea that you cannot control what they think. Laughing about their looks is more fun.