Partners thoughts of you wearing womens footwear?

[partyshoes]

Kittyinboots, its really encouraging to read how your wife has gradullay accpeted your heeling. YOur story gives the rest of us hope that our wives will eventually come around too. Look forward to hearing more in future

[johnieheel]

I love Itallian heels. They have a great solection but 2 months for delivery? WOW!

[yozz]

It is probably an upper limit so that they are on the safe side. I once ordered from them and initially it also said 60 days. Then it turned out that they did have my order in stock after all and I had it in one week. Y.

[Dawn HH]

TMW229:-) Enjoy your new purchase when they come, and it may be a lot sooner than you think. Maybe by Christmas. Nice present to yourself, eh! Welcome to the Forum. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[sscotty727]

Hey Dawn, how's it going? Long time no talk to, I just rejoined the forms. Not sure how to answer this. Wife know and has sorta come to terms, but her preference would be I stop, so while she accepts, it's not enthusiasically.

[Dawn HH]

SScotty727:-) Patience, my friend, patience. Even God had to take more than 7 days when he created woman the first time and then he wasn't sure then that he had done it right. As you know---they are much more complicated than we guys are. Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year to you and your family from Mickey and myself. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[lilgiz]

Yesterday evening I had a conversation with my wife that I envied them(the women) for having so much nice footwear to choose from. She asked why and I asked her what she would think of me wearing high heels. Her reaction was quite vigorous(and negative unfortunately), she made an association with transvestites and homosexuality. After some more talk and explaining she wasn't so negative anymore but not much more positive. I'm letting it rest for a while. Who knows what some time brings about. This was just me writing it out but any thoughts are welcome.

[Bubba136]

Yesterday evening I had a conversation with my wife that I envied them(the women) for having so much nice footwear to choose from. She asked why and I asked her what she would think of me wearing high heels. Her reaction was quite vigorous(and negative unfortunately), she made an association with transvestites and homosexuality. After some more talk and explaining she wasn't so negative anymore but not much more positive. I'm letting it rest for a while. Who knows what some time brings about.

This was just me writing it out but any thoughts are welcome.

This incident actually happen or is it a case of "you scoping out possible reactions?

If is a real happening, she might begin to put "2" and "2" together and discover that what you said is providing some answers to your past behavior. Even though you have opened the door, be very careful how you go through it.

[Kittyinboots]

This incident actually happen or is it a case of "you scoping out possible reactions?

If is a real happening, she might begin to put "2" and "2" together and discover that what you said is providing some answers to your past behavior. Even though you have opened the door, be very careful how you go through it.

lilgis - I pretty much had to joke about it with my wife, gradually ease her into telling her about my boots. So she would see a pair of sexy thigh high boots on television and say that she likes them. I would say back "they look like mine", to which she would raise an eyebrow. After several times of joking about my boots, she figured out that I was serious. But for me I found this to be an easier, gentle way of telling my wife without saying directly, "I have something to tell you."

Today I toned down my outing in boots. My wife has sort of come to terms and accepts that I will wear my boots in public. She is not thrilled about them and would rather not see me in them. But I made a compromise. I told her that I was running a few errands, getting gas and making an ATM deposit. I told her that I would be going out in my brown boots, but if she wanted to come along we could stop by Starbucks Coffee. She asked if we could just do the drive through window. I was willing to compromise since I already paid for gas inside the store in boots.

This is my way of letting it rest and not going overboard about heeling in public. But on our way home she also told me that she loved me and I told her that I loved her.

[Bubba136]

Say what you will. but each and every situation is drastically different. No two wives, girlfriends, or women in our lives are identical. What works for one mightn't work for any of the others. That isn't to say that you shouldn't try one or two of the different approaches to raising the issue with them. However, be aware that since you know her the best, and probably have already sussed out what her reaction would be -- based upon your knowledge of her personality -- it's up to each individual to ascertain the wisdom of approach to be used and timing. Those members that didn't tell their prospective partners of their addiction to high heels before they became involved are much further behind the "eight ball" than those of us that did tell them. Main lesson: Choose your strategy carefully, time your presentation correctly. tread softly and be prepared to accept the consequences -- what ever they might be. It is a lot easier to recover from a breakup before marriage than it is recovering from a divorce, especially if there are children involved.

[vector]

Congrats on finding a middle ground.

[lilgiz]

Main lesson: Choose your strategy carefully, time your presentation correctly. tread softly and be prepared to accept the consequences -- what ever they might be. It is a lot easier to recover from a breakup before marriage than it is recovering from a divorce, especially if there are children involved.

Unfortunately we are already married (with children). We talked through most of our kinks and fantasies before we ever considered each other romantically so I do have a feeling she can fit this with me.

Today I toned down my outing in boots. My wife has sort of come to terms and accepts that I will wear my boots in public. She is not thrilled about them and would rather not see me in them. But I made a compromise.

....

This is my way of letting it rest and not going overboard about heeling in public. But on our way home she also told me that she loved me and I told her that I loved her.

What a great compromise you have, that would be my goal for mid-term. And eventualy to be able to go out with her in matching shoes.

[Kittyinboots]

Two days ago my wife asked me to come out of our apartment and help her bring in groceries, so I came out in my brown boots, not a word was said about them. Yesterday I changed into my boots for the ride home, my wife was still napping when I arrived. So I spent much of the evening lounging around in boots. When she woke up she was still very glad to see me. We spent part of our New Years Eve sharing a few kisses on the couch, boots still on. My wife's feelings about my boots hasn't changed, but she was just simply missing me and just didn't care what I had on at that time. But I am also aware that I just got lucky and caught her in a good mood. But it was pretty cool that she did not say anything about my boots, as if she truly accepts me for who I am and not what I wear. I can live with just tolerance and acceptance of my boots. But I can always dream about encouragement, support and heeling out in public together. It was nice these last few days to go out in high heel boots.

[vanheel]

My wife is not too happy about the entire thing, but she tolerates it as long as it is inside. The topic of me wearing it outside has come up once in a while, but she gets sad/upset and I usually end up dropping the subject. I wish she would be a bit more accepting, hopefully it'll happen, but after these many years of marriage, I highly doubt things will change. I would settle for her not getting upset if I want to venture outside on my own. vanheel

[Majo]

Today, as we prepared to go out, I tidied up our bedroom. Kids were off so I got into my blue pumps and a pair jeans. She went in and out from the bedroom while I was working and never made a comment about them. It's summer now, so I finally decided to change my jeans to shorts and a pair of normal fresh shoes. When winter comes, and the kids are off to school / University I'll have more time to use boots and pump. I will stand for the agreement me made: "not in front of the kids".

[bostonjensen]

I have always been in the closet on wearing heels of some sort. Part of it would be I am already 6'2" so heels push me a bit higher. My girlfriend who is away for the holiday break was telling me she got some new boots for Christmas. She isn't too big into wearing heels herself so she was saying how she needs to get used to them when she gets back. I decided to challenge her saying that heels really aren't that big a deal to get used to (hoping this sparks her interest). It worked and she said if it really isn't a big deal that I should try it. So I plan on wearing a pair of boots I already have to the airport when I go pick her up. I will post pictures when I can, won't be for another week

[jwhite44]

Can't wait to hear how that goes.

[ET88]

My wife hates it, and would be happy if the whole issue would disappear. On the other hand she got used to see me at least once a week in heels. After many years of marriage, she wouldn't make a fuss about it. I call it unhappy acceptance. I didn't vote since none of the categories apply.

[aussieheels1]

i think a lot of us are in similar situation (ie for those with partner knowing but not aproving)..... it's kinda like the elephant in the room..... they know, they don't like it but they don't really say much about it..... i suppose my question is then, does it make it alright.... obviously my wife loves me and want to be able to accept it but cannot and thus feels that she can't say anything about it as if she does I may leave..... and all I want is that she accept it and that I can wear my heels in front of her and maybe even talk and shop together for shoes..... but somehow i know this will never happen.... but should i even try to advance it and try to get her acceptance or should I really accept that she won't accept it ... but then what? keep hiding and wearing heels when she's not around? the funny thing is that, my wife always ask me for advice for shoes (and all her clothes for that matter)..... she actually don't like shopping without me (and I actually like shopping with her)..... i just wish we can expand these trips to includes something for myself..... for me.... i hate the elephant in the room, but having the elephant here is better than being in separate rooms .....

[Amanda]

for me.... i hate the elephant in the room, but having the elephant here is better than being in separate rooms .....

A coat of paint should do the trick.

http://londonparticulars.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/banksy-elephant-in-the-room.jpg

Honestly though you just have to accept that she doesn't accept it.

[aussieheels1]

amanda.... love the pic.... guess i'll just paint my room the same colour as the elephant then.... and yes i think you are right and i suppose that's what i was kinda saying.... i just have to accept that she will never accept it and hence the elephant ...

[skirtedvik]

My girlfriend totally agrees not only about the heels for men but with the whole fashion gender equality issue. I wear as a guy all the apparel I like (skirts,dresses,tops and so on.) and I am even encouraged to do so.Maybe I am lucky that she is so open-minded and supports freestylers.

[Bubba136]

Even though I told my (prospective wife) about my wearing heels before we decided to get married, it took her 10 years after we tied the knot before she became fully accepting. These days, she sees a pair the thinks I might like, she buys them for me. And, while I return 80% of her purchases, I am eternally grateful that she loves to do that for me. So, while your wife is aware of your heels, and currently not 100% in accepting them, marriage is a "life time" commitment and heels are not. And, that being said, she might -perhaps- at some point in time realize that wearing heels doesn't make you any less manly or attractive as a mate. Patience.....

[Dawn HH]

Bubba 136:-) In a lot of ways your thinking parralels mine a lot. Like they say, "Rome wasn't built in a day" and acceptance will come only after a great thought and a period of time has expired. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[HappyFeat]

I have been blessed with a partner who loves the fact that I wear heels. Recently, we went shopping for shoes during a buy one get two free at an outlet. In fact we went to two different stores to get the deal twice. I wound up with four pair to her two pair...all through her encouragement. I have worn heels in public with the many times and she truly likes the look. Even as exciting as that is, what is really fantastic is that she just accepts me for who I am and what I like. There isn't much more that a guy could ask for.

[johnieheel]

A coat of paint should do the trick.

http://londonparticulars.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/banksy-elephant-in-the-room.jpg

Honestly though you just have to accept that she doesn't accept it.

Love it!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!!

[Kittyinboots]

Yesterday I had a really good night. My loving, yet tolerant wife decided to try something new. For the first time we started chatting online with each other yet we were in the same room. I joked about us putting on high heel boots and kissing each other wearing them. She was willing to try this one time. Our online chat continued with what boots we were going to wear for our kissing session. She said that she would wear my retired black thigh high boots (Ellie #8868, 4" heel) that I gave her. I wore my brown high heel boots from my avatar. We chatted online a little bit more about my boot preferences, she also likes the 80s style boots. My wife is such a sweetheart. It was the first time that we were both wearing high heel boots together. And kissing her made wearing boots feel special. Although this was a one-time deal which may not happen again, I feel lucky to have a woman who can tolerate my boots and is willing to try new things.

[Dawn HH]

Kittyinboots:-) Even if it doesn't happen again at least it sparked a great time this one time. The flame is still there, eh! Cheers--- Dawn HH

[jarod81]

Well my partner hates it, disapproves, thinks it's not normal and... well any discussion usually ends up with her screaming at me. A good point though is that she hasn't left me which is a good thing and 6 months ago If I had left anything out in the house it would be WW2 all over again, but now she just picks it up and puts it away with out me having to but on a stab proof vest. I think she might tolerate it but will never accept it ..... maybe.

[hyheelz]

I have never even attempted to wear heels when wife is around, she knows of my inclination, but we just don't talk about it. I left a pair out accidentally a few years ago and she was definitely not receptive to the notion of me wearing any type of female attire whatsoever. So I just enjoy myself whenever she is not around and at my office when alone. Wished she could be more understanding about it, but I love her too much to push the issue.