Shyheels

Wear then with a clip-on polyester trout necktie to complete the look

I’d say they passed away and you’re holding a seance

As an aside, as an Australian who started his journalism career in Sydney, when I saw the SMH on your post title I thought it was about something you’d read in the Sydney Morning Herald!

I suspect it all ties in. Accepting, indeed celebrating, yourself as you are is a big deal and very improving. And of course age helps too - you acquire the experience to understand what matters and what does not, and you cease to take yourself quite so seriously as you did when you were young.

For me getting dressed presentably for work also serves a very practical purpose even though my office is just my kitchen table and an open laptop. Since I work from home it is easy and tempting to slip into lazy habits and be distracted but by making the effort to change into office clothes - nothing fancy, mind you - I send a subliminal message to myself that I am no longer at home but at my office, a place of work, where things get done. One of the benefits of wearing heels is that they underscore this message. Nobody wears stilettos just to laze about at home! I put them on and not only do I feel as though I have come to the office, but they set up a jaunty creative vibe that carries me along and makes the writing go well.

Taking politics with anyone these days is a fraught business. I tend to avoid it altogether and stick to discussing the weather and the day to day minutiae of life. And if that minutiae includes wearing heels so be it.

Maybe it was just the FBI ... 😀

Balance I’ve always been good at. Never a problem - well, except for when the boat is on a slight, almost imperceptible list which you don’t notice until you start walking. Otherwise, balancing in heels was fairly easy for me. It reminded me of being in ice skates. It was the calf muscles that got me, having them quiver and cramp up fairly quickly, almost immediately in fact the first time I stood up in 12cm heels. i would love to experiment with a 300 to 400 metre walk in my 12cm boots to see how I’d turn up - something I definitely must do!

That's an astonishing remark and presumption by that waitress, but kind of fits in with my impression of the sort of town and region you describe. Somehow, although you say she didn't, I can readily imagine her using the term 'relations' - that too would be wholly fitting with my perceptions of the kind of prim folk who'd have those points of view.

Yes, it is funny how our paths are so similar despite our differences in lives and countries and jobs. You too have a good story. You certainly had some amazing dedication to have continued after that first painful night out. Like you, I found redemption in chunky heeled ankle boots. I'd always wanted a pair of boots such as you describe - I viewed them as racier, edgier versions of the hiking boots I wear as a matter of course (Im the guy editors send off to wild and remote places, not the one they have covering finance or politics) I found a pair of very nice black leather ankle boost with 8cm chunky heels and almond-shaped toes (my favourite style) and loved them. Like you I could them amazingly comfortable and easy to walk in, yet they still gave me the sense of being in heels and the satisfaction that came with that. I now have a couple pairs pf 8cm block heeled boots, including knee boors and an OTK pair and love them. Aside from liking the style they helped build up my abilities and now I'm taking up the challenge of 12cm stilettos!

Yes. I work from home - I'm a writer - and I often wear heels because I like to. It's my office and I can wear what I please. But I can certainly understand someone rebelling against the expectation that they wear heels - or some dress code requirement. I think you've touched on one of the joys of wearing heels - and the source of resentment. They are a challenge. Not everyone can do it, or if they can, are willing to put in the time and effort to make it look effortless. To do a difficult thing and do it gracefully and, what's more, make it look effortless, can certainly spark resentment among those who can't or won't do it. And that's more likely to come from other women.

That's a great story @mlroseplant. I can picture the scene and imagine the circumstances - and the discomfort. I have a standing in heels story too - a couple of them actually. Like yours mine occurred when I was first trying out high heels. I'd always fancied heels and wished it were open to me to give them a try without it being turned into some big deal. When at last I summoned the nerve, I bought myself a pair of very elegant knee boots with 10cm heels - fashion classics, the very sort of boots I'd secretly always wanted and wished I dared to by. All well and good. They arrived and they were perfect. Nicely made, soft leather, perfect fit. I'd gone with boots as my f=gateway into heels mainly because I like boots but also because they seemed the sensible choice - if sensible is ever a word you can use to describe stilettos. In all the how-to-walk-in-heels articles and blog posts I'd read ahead of time, beginners were advised to start low and chunky and work their way up. Somehow I thought that didn't include me, but to be on the safe side I figured to get something at offered decent support. I wanted to succeed at this not end up in A&E with a twisted ankle and a dumb backstory. So boots it was. By all accounts they were easier to walk in. After sitting for a few thoughtful moments, admiring my new high heels and marvelling at my daring for having bought them, I stood up!. Wow. Aside from the giddy rush of finally being in heels, my calf muscles clenched up like I'd done a thousand toe raises at the gym non-stop. That was a surprise. Until that moment it had never even occurred to me that I might lack the muscle tone to wear heels. How could that be? I'm a cyclist. I ride a couple thousand miles a year and live in a hilly town. But taking up high heels was like taking up a new sport, one that not only requires a new skill set but uses your muscles in a whole new way as well. It was my first proper glimpse into the world of high heels. I didn't quit or give up but I look things more sensibly after that. A couple of days later, I managed to eat my lunch standing by the counter in my stiletto boots and felt quite chuffed at my progress. Outside a neighbour went by walking her dog. She saw me in the window, smiled and waved. I smiled and waved back, blushing a bit and wondering if she'd noticed I was several inches taller. A part of me hoped she had.

Yes I agree. Heels are contentious. I have found that women are far more likely to compliment me on my boots while men merely observe - although to be honest I mainly seem to pass unnoticed. with the exception of members here I find it far easier to talk about heels, and men in heels - me! - with women than with men to whom even the subject seems taboo

Absolutely! But the people who want us to be seduced by the altogether more dangerous AI they are promoting want very much for this confusion to remain in place. To believe that this is all just the harmless betterment of all our lives

It really is! The more I read about fashion as a culture and the history of fashion the more I want to know. Heels are especially fascinating. They are such a paradox. On the one hand they are denounced as tools of the patriarchy, designed to hobble and objectify women for the pleasure of men, yet at the same time they are born with panache by many of the most powerful women in the world, leaders in business, politics, arts and entertain,ent who view their heels as symbols of empowered femininity, spend small fortunes on designer help and speak of the emotional lift and sense of empowerment that comes with putting on a pair of stilettos and string into a meeting. Men are expected to admire - lustily - high heels on women but are told from birth they mustn't ever even think about trying on a pair themselves. Who can't help but e fascinated by all this furore and taboo?