Rethinking everything...with a question! (Of course)

[Gige]

First off, I apologize for asking a question that I am sure has been discussed ad nauseum in specific threads or in response to other postings. My intention is simply to try and gather input from ALL male members of this forum, not just the half-dozen or so regulars whose responses, opinions, and discussions I have come to find very enlightening, highly value, respect, and admire. Allow me to ask the question and then explain why I am doing so. 

For those who wear heels into work, what is the highest heel height you have worn and if you do so on a regular/routine basis, what is the average heel height you wear?

Lately, due to comments and opinions offered across many postings on this forum, as well as my recent public observations and interactions with others, I have been seriously rethinking my approach to wearing heels in public, all in a good way.  I hold no doubt that my approach to wearing heels in public/to the office has been that of a very conservative style. By this, I felt heels should be no higher than 3” – 3.5” (~7.5cm – 9cm), no stilettos, and if worn with a skirt, the hemline should not be higher than just above the knee. Truth be told, all of this has started to “fall by the wayside” as my approach to wearing higher heels and shorter hemlines in public/at the office is radically transforming at an accelerated pace. 

I have been thinking of recent encounters I have had with women wearing either over-the-knee or tall stiletto boots with short hemlines of their skirt or dress. I was recently at Logan Airport (Boston) and observed a “middle-aged” woman who was “rockin’ out” a shorter (just above the knee) black leather pencil skirt but yet, it seemed appropriate for an office environment. As I strolled through Boston along the “Freedom Trail” I observed many women wearing at or above the knee boots with shorter skirts. This made me realize I am so very removed from any sense of contemporary fashion where I reside and I truly have no concept as to current heel/boot fashion or trends. Thus, that which I once thought was “taboo” in terms of office attire is completely misplaced because I do not know what is being worn elsewhere. 

A frequent contributor to this forum previously noted that he possessed more shoes/boots than he could possibly wear. This led me to consider my own wardrobe which, in turn, made me consider the question of, if I have heels that are “too high” to be comfortably worn out in public, why, then, do I even have them? I am no longer content in having “only at home” heels and have considered the question of, if I have heels that I realistically will not wear out-and-about for whatever reason, then why have them at all? As a result, I have currently "sidelined" a few pairs until I can figure out what to do with them. I am currently considering purchasing a pair of 9.5m/3.75” heeled leather boots and in time, a pair of thigh-high leather boots with a 2.5” heel.  I have concluded that if each of these pairs of boots are worn “correctly,” then what would prevent me from wearing them in to the office, or even grocery shopping? I realize such may be subject to employer policy/restrictions, but if there is no expressly worded prohibition of heel height or hemline (within reason) then why in the heck not do it? 

Yes, I realize that if I am comfortable doing so, then that is all that matters, but again, provided that it is all within employer attire policy. Some of what I have observed about what others believe is appropriate  office attire, such as distressed jeans with more missing material than actual material holding them together, leaves me shaking my head in disbelief. I do not know if I will ever be comfortable wearing stilettos of any height out-and-about as I think the heel would eventually break, but as I have 4” wedge heel boots, why should I rock those out with a leather skirt somewhere? I think much of this transformation is the direct result of no longer giving a d*** who sees me wearing heels/boots/skirt and what s/he may think of it. I think it is fair to state that if I feel comfortable in what I am wearing, them I have no problem in having others see me doing so. 

Truthfully, my head is now spinning!

Edited November 13 by Gige
Clarification

[CAT]

I have no ability to wear heels or the clothes I want to work,,,,, I am in construction.  I will tell you that for almost 13 years I have been wearing heels out, now I wear complete outfits that I put together.  I traveled again to and from Tampa and wore LULU skirts, shirts and jackets with gym shoes to run around and a dress with heels and skirt outfits with heels for going out and traveling.  In fact, I did not pack 1 piece of men's clothing for the trip.  It was a perfect get away! 

[Cali]

I wear heels to work almost everyday (maybe not once a year). I like 3.5 to 4.25 inch rise for my hip. I had a pair of lace up Sodas today with a 4.3 inch heel and .7 inch platform. I don't wear skirts (except at Halloween) but I do wear stilettos, both in booties and knee highs form. But then I might also wear my pleather pants with knee high boots (like I did to a busness party this pass weekend).

 

[mlroseplant]

I, like CAT, do not have the opportunity to wear heels at work, as it would not be advisable or even desirable. However, just for the record, there was a time when I thought I would never wear stilettos, either. I'm going to make a prediction that it will only be a matter of time before you're comfortable with stilettos.

[Shyheels]

I am in the same boat as regards stilettos. I love the look, especially the 12cm height in boots, and I have three pair of stiletto boots. They are my office wear and I can’t imagine that changing. For several reasons. Although my stiletto boots are all very classic designs, a stiletto heel just seems to extravagant to be “me”. Although, as I say, I do like them. Perhaps it’s a lack of confidence - one that is helped along by the fact that I’m not proficient enough at wearing them.  Ive also no place to wear them other than at my desk  - muddy towpaths and stiletto heels would be a disaster. And when I do go out in nice boots, when I am moored in a town, I have some lovely chunky heeled ones that simply feel more “me”.

[Cali]

@Shyheels is there much rocking (waves) on the canals?

[Gige]

18 hours ago, CAT said:

I have no ability to wear heels or the clothes I want to work,,,,, I am in construction.  I will tell you that for almost 13 years I have been wearing heels out, now I wear complete outfits that I put together.  I traveled again to and from Tampa and wore LULU skirts, shirts and jackets with gym shoes to run around and a dress with heels and skirt outfits with heels for going out and traveling.  In fact, I did not pack 1 piece of men's clothing for the trip.  It was a perfect get away! 

Glad to hear it! I, like you, recently traveled and also did not pack a single item of men's clothing. The reason I did not do so was not necessarily by choice but due to the fact that I recently purged my wardrobe of all clothing that was too large for me! So, I have somewhere around 1/2 items of men's clothing. I would have jettisoned all of it but I decided to hold a few items "just in case." 

12 hours ago, mlroseplant said:

I, like CAT, do not have the opportunity to wear heels at work, as it would not be advisable or even desirable. However, just for the record, there was a time when I thought I would never wear stilettos, either. I'm going to make a prediction that it will only be a matter of time before you're comfortable with stilettos.

Interesting prediction, indeed! I suppose that depends on what one defines as a stiletto. Would you consider the heels of the ankle boots in the added photo as stilettos? If so, then yes, it is only a matter of time as I plan on where these to work in due time. If no, they are not stilettos, then only time will tell if you are correct. 

[Shyheels]

Those are what I would term simply “high heels” . Stilettos are much thinner, as the name implies - like the needle-thin blade of the dagger of the same name 

1 hour ago, Cali said:

@Shyheels is there much rocking (waves) on the canals?

No. It’s very stable. There is no current and there’s not enough reach for the wind to generate any waves. That said, the wind can jostle a narrowboat. Not violently but in really powerful cross winds there is detectable bounciness.

Even a modest wind can adversely affect the handling of a narrowboat. If the wind is much over 16mph you’re usually better staying where you’re moored.

[mlroseplant]

11 hours ago, Gige said:

Interesting prediction, indeed! I suppose that depends on what one defines as a stiletto. Would you consider the heels of the ankle boots in the added photo as stilettos? If so, then yes, it is only a matter of time as I plan on where these to work in due time. If no, they are not stilettos, then only time will tell if you are correct. 

Interestingly, we had an extensive (some might say exhausting) discussion about what is and what is not a "stiletto" heel. I can say with a certain amount of confidence that no-one here at HHP would call that particular example a stiletto. It is clearly too broad. I personally would call it a "slim" heel. There is some disagreement, but the maximum width of a heel can be no more than somewhere in that 3/8" or 10mm range to be a stiletto. I say "somewhere" because it's not always clear, due to other factors, such as taper and total height.

My skinniest stilettos are barely more than 1/4" or 6.5 mm thin, and I have many more than come in at 8 mm. 10 mm seems to be numerous in my collection as well. There seems to be little correlation between heel width and walkability, which is counterintuitive, but it's what I've found in practice. The main advantage to "slim" heels, like the one you submitted, is that the heel tips are going to last you five times as long compared to stiletto tips. This is the reason I don't walk in stilettos anymore. Also, it's far less critical to look out for cracks and holes in the sidewalk. If you're just wearing them to the office or to church or the supermarket, fine. Putting 30-40 miles a month on them is not something I care to do.

[Shyheels]

Yes, I always worry about the fragility of stiletto heels - or at least their perceived fragility. I have one pair which I kind of consider stilettos that have heel tips of perhaps 10-12mm. I really love them and feel much more secure walking in them than the two pair of truly skinny stiletto boots.

[mlroseplant]

Stiletto heels are fragile in the sense that they are very easy to damage from stepping down in some sort of gap in the walking surface. I have never found that the heels themselves are the weak link--it's the shank. For those of you who don't know, the shank is a strip of stiffening material, typically metal, that runs below your foot between the inner and outer soles, and connects the heel with the front of the shoe. I have broken exactly one heel in my life, but I've broken several shanks. Once the shank breaks, it feels like the heel is broken because it just caves in, even though the heel itself is still securely attached.

I also have a couple of pairs in that 10 to 12 mm "near stiletto" range, but ironically, they are some of the least stable feeling shoes I own, and it has to do with the shank, not the heel. I'm not making a plug, but I have over a dozen pair of Steve Madden stilettos in various styles, and I've never had pair of Maddens feel anything but rock solid when walking. The heels on these shoes range from about 10 mm all the way down to <7 mm. If you didn't see what you were wearing, you'd never know that you were walking on heels that thin. To be fair, I also weigh 60 kg. That may have something to do with it.

[mlroseplant]

Here is an example of what I mean by "near stiletto" heels. These Michael Kors sandals, which I wore to church yesterday, feature heels which are 7/16", or 11 mm, thick. That is not really a stiletto, but the heels are so tall that they perhaps give the illusion of being stiletto. Were they only three inch heels, there would be no question that they are merely "slim" heels. Of course, your mileage may vary. Some people would put this in the stiletto category even at 11 mm. I'm still going with 10 as the maximum.

The other interesting thing is that despite their thickness, I would put any of my Steve Madden stilettos ahead of this pair as far as sturdiness, even with much thinner heels. As far as I'm concerned, thicker does not automatically mean sturdier, it really has more to do with the rigidity of the shank.

[HappyinHeels]

They look good on you whatever you call them. I realize nearly all of my heels which I consider more stiletto than not fit your description of “near stiletto” because at first glance that is what they look like. I think a near-stiletto or stiletto-like heel has become popular as it offers much the same look with more stability. One thing I’ve noticed over the years is heel wearing has strengthened my calves which has helped me whether playing baseball or football from time to time. It’s nice to still have decent footwork at 64. Keep your stride buddy. HinH

[Gige]

4 hours ago, mlroseplant said:

Here is an example of what I mean by "near stiletto" heels. These Michael Kors sandals, which I wore to church yesterday, feature heels which are 7/16", or 11 mm, thick. That is not really a stiletto, but the heels are so tall that they perhaps give the illusion of being stiletto. Were they only three inch heels, there would be no question that they are merely "slim" heels. Of course, your mileage may vary. Some people would put this in the stiletto category even at 11 mm. I'm still going with 10 as the maximum.

The other interesting thing is that despite their thickness, I would put any of my Steve Madden stilettos ahead of this pair as far as sturdiness, even with much thinner heels. As far as I'm concerned, thicker does not automatically mean sturdier, it really has more to do with the rigidity of the shank.

I think my fear of breaking off a heel, especially for a stiletto, has been the greatest concern that "prevents" me from wearing them. I understand that it is the quality, and thus, strength of the shank and not necessarily how well the actual heel is attached to the shoe that may result in breakage. One of the "issues" I have noticed about stilettos is that of what I call "heel flex." I have and had stiletto heels in which, when the bottom of heel makes contact with the ground, it firmly sticks in place but as the foot bed comes in contact with the ground, there is a slight bend of the sole, pushing the top of the heel slightly backwards while the bottom does not move. When the foot is rolled on to the ball of the foot, the heel "flexes" backwards. My concern that the repeated flexing/bending, ever so slight, will eventually lead to a fatigue failure and the heel becoming detached from the sole. This flexing/bending, however, is not limited to stilettos as I have noticed it happening to other heels, even block heels. I am not sure if this is "normal" or is a reflection of the quality of construction of the shoe/boot. 

I have learned that heel breakage is not limited to stilettos or other taller height heels. Some time ago, I was shopping at a larger retail store while wearing a pair of "flat - heeled" riding boots. Shortly after I entered the store, I noticed that the 1" heel on the right boot was making a strange sound. As I looked at the right heel, I noticed that it was barely attached to the sole as the glue holding it in place was minimally applied. I removed it, placed it in my pocket, and hobbled around the store quite embarrassed by the situation. When I returned to my car, the boots came off and I tossed them into the back seat. When I actually returned to my residence, I noticed that the left heel was starting to come loose from its sole and what followed was a sting of profanity that, last I checked, is still hanging above Springfield, Illinois, and has been known to cause some degree of turbulence for air traffic in the area. What made this situation infuriating is that the boots were a designer brand from which this type of nonsense should not be expected. I glued both heels back to the sole and sank three small screws into each heel to help secure them in place; I had no issues with the heels when I last wore them. The point to this is, what has been echoed in previous replies, materials used and craftsmanship of the product may be the ultimate factor when/if a heel should become detached from its sole, is right on point.  

[pebblesf]

3 hours ago, Gige said:

I think my fear of breaking off a heel, especially for a stiletto, has been the greatest concern that "prevents" me from wearing them. I understand that it is the quality, and thus, strength of the shank and not necessarily how well the actual heel is attached to the shoe that may result in breakage. One of the "issues" I have noticed about stilettos is that of what I call "heel flex." I have and had stiletto heels in which, when the bottom of heel makes contact with the ground, it firmly sticks in place but as the foot bed comes in contact with the ground, there is a slight bend of the sole, pushing the top of the heel slightly backwards while the bottom does not move. When the foot is rolled on to the ball of the foot, the heel "flexes" backwards. My concern that the repeated flexing/bending, ever so slight, will eventually lead to a fatigue failure and the heel becoming detached from the sole. This flexing/bending, however, is not limited to stilettos as I have noticed it happening to other heels, even block heels. I am not sure if this is "normal" or is a reflection of the quality of construction of the shoe/boot. 

I have learned that heel breakage is not limited to stilettos or other taller height heels. Some time ago, I was shopping at a larger retail store while wearing a pair of "flat - heeled" riding boots. Shortly after I entered the store, I noticed that the 1" heel on the right boot was making a strange sound. As I looked at the right heel, I noticed that it was barely attached to the sole as the glue holding it in place was minimally applied. I removed it, placed it in my pocket, and hobbled around the store quite embarrassed by the situation. When I returned to my car, the boots came off and I tossed them into the back seat. When I actually returned to my residence, I noticed that the left heel was starting to come loose from its sole and what followed was a sting of profanity that, last I checked, is still hanging above Springfield, Illinois, and has been known to cause some degree of turbulence for air traffic in the area. What made this situation infuriating is that the boots were a designer brand from which this type of nonsense should not be expected. I glued both heels back to the sole and sank three small screws into each heel to help secure them in place; I had no issues with the heels when I last wore them. The point to this is, what has been echoed in previous replies, materials used and craftsmanship of the product may be the ultimate factor when/if a heel should become detached from its sole, is right on point.  

I have a great pair of knee high Zodiac boots that I purchased used a few years ago with this same issue.  I can definitely feel the heel flexing and am afraid/timid when I wear the boots because I don't want to kill the heels, and admittedly don't really want to be caught in public hobbling around on busted heel (again).   To add to your point, I would say that just because shoes/heels/boots might be from a well known designer surely is no guarantee of quality materials and craftsmanship...

[mlroseplant]

16 hours ago, Gige said:

I think my fear of breaking off a heel, especially for a stiletto, has been the greatest concern that "prevents" me from wearing them. I understand that it is the quality, and thus, strength of the shank and not necessarily how well the actual heel is attached to the shoe that may result in breakage. One of the "issues" I have noticed about stilettos is that of what I call "heel flex." I have and had stiletto heels in which, when the bottom of heel makes contact with the ground, it firmly sticks in place but as the foot bed comes in contact with the ground, there is a slight bend of the sole, pushing the top of the heel slightly backwards while the bottom does not move. When the foot is rolled on to the ball of the foot, the heel "flexes" backwards. My concern that the repeated flexing/bending, ever so slight, will eventually lead to a fatigue failure and the heel becoming detached from the sole. This flexing/bending, however, is not limited to stilettos as I have noticed it happening to other heels, even block heels. I am not sure if this is "normal" or is a reflection of the quality of construction of the shoe/boot. 

I have learned that heel breakage is not limited to stilettos or other taller height heels. Some time ago, I was shopping at a larger retail store while wearing a pair of "flat - heeled" riding boots. Shortly after I entered the store, I noticed that the 1" heel on the right boot was making a strange sound. As I looked at the right heel, I noticed that it was barely attached to the sole as the glue holding it in place was minimally applied. I removed it, placed it in my pocket, and hobbled around the store quite embarrassed by the situation. When I returned to my car, the boots came off and I tossed them into the back seat. When I actually returned to my residence, I noticed that the left heel was starting to come loose from its sole and what followed was a sting of profanity that, last I checked, is still hanging above Springfield, Illinois, and has been known to cause some degree of turbulence for air traffic in the area. What made this situation infuriating is that the boots were a designer brand from which this type of nonsense should not be expected. I glued both heels back to the sole and sank three small screws into each heel to help secure them in place; I had no issues with the heels when I last wore them. The point to this is, what has been echoed in previous replies, materials used and craftsmanship of the product may be the ultimate factor when/if a heel should become detached from its sole, is right on point.  

Yeah, the flexing is somewhat normal, but it's not right. That's what the gray sandals pictured above do to some degree, and you're right, it's not limited to stilettos. It also has nothing to do with the heel--it's the shank. The part underneath the arch of your foot is what's doing the flexing. I'm not saying that heels do not occasionally come loose from their moorings, but it's rarely a problem.

The first time I ran into this situation, @HappyinHeels was actually at my house. I said, "Here! Take a look at this expensive designer shoe, and tell me what you think." He took the heel in his hand, and it wiggled ever-so-slightly, but it was still firmly attached to the sole. Between the two of us, we never really figured out what was wrong, and figured it was ok. And it was. For a while. Until one day, the whole heel caved in while I was walking. Keep in mind, these were thick block heels. Being as they were unusable anyway, I tore open the footbed to discover that the strip of metal contained therein had snapped clean in two, allowing the heel to flex almost infinitely. Mystery solved. Since then, I've had this happen to me several times, and none of the shoes in failure mode were stilettos.

I know it's frustrating to have a pair of expensive shoes turn out to be crap quality, that's happened to me a number of times also. The shoes I was referring to originally were Vera Wang, Lavender series, something which probably retailed originally for around 300 bucks. I didn't pay anywhere near that, but you get the idea. And they were crap, both pairs that I owned. They were beautiful, but very poorly made as far as durability.

To my original point: Don't be afraid of stilettos just because of the shape of the heel. The heel itself is rarely what fails on these things.

[Gige]

It is purely coincidental that we should be discussing heels breaking away/off the sole when a year and one day ago, one of the most publicized heel failures in recent memory occurred when one of the Taylor Swift's Louboutins gave out during a concert in Rio. IIRC (I'm not a "Swiftee" by any stretch of the imagination!) she pulled the heel off of the sole and tossed it into the crowd. I am sure her Louboutins cost her well into the five figures which goes to show that price is no guarantee against heel failures. You would think that if one should spend such money on heels/boots, especially Louboutins, heel breakage would not happen.  But as pointed out, price is no assurance against product failure - even Ferraris breakdown. 

[Jkrenzer]

Price is not a guarantee of quality. I'm sure someone saved that heel, it a Swifty after all.

I so hate celebrity worship. 

[Shyheels]

1 hour ago, Jkrenzer said:

Price is not a guarantee of quality. I'm sure someone saved that heel, it a Swifty after all.

I so hate celebrity worship. 

You and me both, mate 

[Cali]

She probably sold it on EBAY and paid for 4 years of university at a high priced institution with the proceeds.