Gige Posted April 1 Share Posted April 1 I'm curious if anyone else has run into this "issue"... I recently started wearing heels/boots to the office with a heel no higher than 3"-3.5" and always very professional in style (block heel, solid, dark colors, with an occasional splash of spice to mix-it up). Likewise, I have started wearing both feminine and masculine clothing with such for a completely professional ensemble. I also wear accessories such as earrings (still on posts as I just had them pierced - can't wait to start wearing hoops!) necklaces, and painted nails (no make-up). There are two women who sit near my workstation who, since I have started dressing "en femme," have been both complementary of my outfits but at the same time, routinely offer their completely unwanted opinions of what they think I should wear. One of them, "Frick," continually informs me that I wear "too much" black or dark colors, need more color, should wear paisley, and have my eyebrows done. Her partner, "Frack," has also told me that I should wear more colors, I wear "too many turtlenecks," and a recent weight loss on my part (~25lbs) has left me with "no butt." With respect to Frick and Frack, both of these women may qualify as being petite (5'2" to 5'4") and, not to disparage them, are grossly obese. Frick often wears sweatpants, a hoodie, or a track suit and crocs (with or without socks) whereas Frack is slightly better dressed in tie-dyed shirts or sweaters, jeans, and rainbow shoes - these are their outfits everyday. Frack also likes to wear cheap, gaudy jewelry from Temu. Although I am grateful for the compliments when offered, I am growing tired of the "you should wear this that way or wear that this way..." and the like comments. I have mentioned to both that I do not dress for them nor do I want to be dressed by them but yet, they persist in their comments. In all fairness, Frack is not as bad as Frick in telling me what I should wear. What I find interesting in all of this is that long before I started wearing heels to the office, neither ever said word about my attire. Since I have started wearing heels, however, it seems as I am "open season" for unwanted comments about what to wear. If needed, I can change my workstation so that I do not have to sit near them as they are not part of my unit. The photos are all outfits I have previously worn to the office 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cali Posted April 2 Share Posted April 2 Frick and Frack are jealous. First of your weight loss and second you look better than either of them could. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jkrenzer Posted April 2 Share Posted April 2 Turn about is fair play. Make some suggestions for them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kneehighs Posted April 2 Share Posted April 2 9 hours ago, Jkrenzer said: Turn about is fair play. Make some suggestions for them. Are there possible legal repercussions for him if the does that while being on US soil? 1 Feminine Style . Masculine Soul. Skin In The Game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gige Posted April 2 Author Share Posted April 2 53 minutes ago, kneehighs said: Are there possible legal repercussions for him if the does that while being on US soil? No, but I do have to be very careful about what I say because it could be viewed as being discriminatory. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gige Posted April 2 Author Share Posted April 2 19 hours ago, Cali said: Frick and Frack are jealous. First of your weight loss and second you look better than either of them could. I tend to agree with you about this in both the jealousy and "out dressing" them. All that I want is just to be myself and not have anyone, including myself, worry or concern themselves with what I am wearing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jkrenzer Posted April 3 Share Posted April 3 Actually the legal issues work both ways despite popular thought. So since they opened the door to playful behavior he can follow suit. The key is he has no quidproque. He's not their boss or subordinate. They playfully suggest fashion to he can to them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mlroseplant Posted April 3 Share Posted April 3 The question is, is any of this worth it? Yeah, you could start an office battle, but would you want to? I know I wouldn't. And just exactly how bad is it? Does this happen daily? Hourly? What is the demeanor of the ladies? Snooty? Playful? Bossy? There are way too many questions that simply can't be answered in print. Perhaps the easiest way if you just can't stand it is to have your station moved. Even that is not without consequences. Let's face it--it just ain't easy bein' us. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba136 Posted April 3 Share Posted April 3 11 hours ago, Jkrenzer said: Actually the legal issues work both ways despite popular thought. So since they opened the door to playful behavior he can follow suit. The key is he has no quidproque. He's not their boss or subordinate. They playfully suggest fashion to he can to them. I think I would tread lightly here because if these women are as unattractive as described, any suggestion of improving their appearance could be taken as insulting and might be considered inappropriate by your company’s anti discrimination policies. 2 Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shyheels Posted April 3 Share Posted April 3 5 hours ago, Bubba136 said: I think I would tread lightly here because if these women are as unattractive as described, any suggestion of improving their appearance could be taken as insulting and might be considered inappropriate by your company’s anti discrimination policies. An excellent point I had been about to make myself. Tread very carefully Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pebblesf Posted April 3 Share Posted April 3 On 4/1/2024 at 2:48 PM, Gige said: I'm curious if anyone else has run into this "issue"... I recently started wearing heels/boots to the office with a heel no higher than 3"-3.5" and always very professional in style (block heel, solid, dark colors, with an occasional splash of spice to mix-it up). Likewise, I have started wearing both feminine and masculine clothing with such for a completely professional ensemble. I also wear accessories such as earrings (still on posts as I just had them pierced - can't wait to start wearing hoops!) necklaces, and painted nails (no make-up). There are two women who sit near my workstation who, since I have started dressing "en femme," have been both complementary of my outfits but at the same time, routinely offer their completely unwanted opinions of what they think I should wear. One of them, "Frick," continually informs me that I wear "too much" black or dark colors, need more color, should wear paisley, and have my eyebrows done. Her partner, "Frack," has also told me that I should wear more colors, I wear "too many turtlenecks," and a recent weight loss on my part (~25lbs) has left me with "no butt." With respect to Frick and Frack, both of these women may qualify as being petite (5'2" to 5'4") and, not to disparage them, are grossly obese. Frick often wears sweatpants, a hoodie, or a track suit and crocs (with or without socks) whereas Frack is slightly better dressed in tie-dyed shirts or sweaters, jeans, and rainbow shoes - these are their outfits everyday. Frack also likes to wear cheap, gaudy jewelry from Temu. Although I am grateful for the compliments when offered, I am growing tired of the "you should wear this that way or wear that this way..." and the like comments. I have mentioned to both that I do not dress for them nor do I want to be dressed by them but yet, they persist in their comments. In all fairness, Frack is not as bad as Frick in telling me what I should wear. What I find interesting in all of this is that long before I started wearing heels to the office, neither ever said word about my attire. Since I have started wearing heels, however, it seems as I am "open season" for unwanted comments about what to wear. If needed, I can change my workstation so that I do not have to sit near them as they are not part of my unit. The photos are all outfits I have previously worn to the office Well, first may I say that your choice of heels and outfits is very "professional" indeed, love the heel styles and those boots worn over the pants! Don't know what to advise about Frick and Frack, except that their advice is horrible, just like you say. You have already told them to back off on the advice, how do they respond to that? Do they respond and say anything, or just keep on with the advice. I guess at this point I would move my work station, hopefully they will "get the hint". Congratulations on taking good care of your body, you look great and I don't mind admitting I am envious... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gige Posted April 4 Author Share Posted April 4 16 hours ago, mlroseplant said: The question is, is any of this worth it? Yeah, you could start an office battle, but would you want to? I know I wouldn't. And just exactly how bad is it? Does this happen daily? Hourly? What is the demeanor of the ladies? Snooty? Playful? Bossy? There are way too many questions that simply can't be answered in print. Perhaps the easiest way if you just can't stand it is to have your station moved. Even that is not without consequences. Let's face it--it just ain't easy bein' us. Indeed, it is not easy just being ourselves! I have to wonder if Frick and Frack view as their "Boy Toy" to dress as they please. Not to get on my soapbox, but I agree with other comments about given their large size (and unhealthy condition) they may feel jealous about how I dress. I generally do not think it is appropriate for anyone to comment about what a person should/should not do unless that person can do it themselves. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kneehighs Posted April 13 Share Posted April 13 On 4/3/2024 at 2:18 AM, Gige said: No, but I do have to be very careful about what I say because it could be viewed as being discriminatory. Or some form of sexual harassment? I'd be surprised if in Western run companies, the #MeToo movement is over yet. 1 Feminine Style . Masculine Soul. Skin In The Game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cali Posted April 13 Share Posted April 13 About 5-6 years ago I was vindicated of a fraudulent 'MeToo' harassment charge. The accuser resigned shortly afterwards. I was thanked by many men and women throughout the organization for standing up to her 'bully' style of threatening to using the 'MeToo movement' to get her way. A couple even cried while thanking me. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba136 Posted April 14 Share Posted April 14 (edited) Offense is in the air. Any one can be offended by anything at anytime. Whether it be a person’s nail polish is too red or they don’t like the color you painted your toes, someone somewhere is going to be offended. Now, (trying not to be too political) you’re in double trouble if the offended individual is a member of a minority community. They can climb on top of their grievance and scream “race” at the top of their lungs, making the entire incident “headline news”. People are stupid. Seeking their fifteen minutes of fame is a very strong incentive. So, if they are willing to complain, I would just turn the tables on them by citing their actions of not supporting my rights to dress as I choose. A clear case of “pure sexual discrimination” could be made if a complaint of that nature is made. Edited April 14 by Bubba136 1 Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pumped Posted 17 hours ago Share Posted 17 hours ago I worked for a company that hired mostly women. I would take lunch in the company lunch room and they would tell raunchy jokes constantly. One day I decided to share a joke I had heard. Nothing but but dirty looks. I decided at that time it wasn't a safe place and started eating lunch elsewhere and avoided them. I would proceed with caution as they could turn on you and it would be two against one. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cali Posted 3 hours ago Share Posted 3 hours ago I have heard some wild things from women while getting a pedi. Eye opening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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