Out In Heeled Sandals And Men's Clothes.

[newguy]

Interesting morning. I was on my way to work when I stop to get something to eat and drink at a convenience store. I wore a orange polo shirt with dark straight boot cut jeans and 3" black strappy sandals. I walk in got what I needed and lady at counter was shaking her head. She told me that she doesn't mind guys wearing heels but we needed to wear them right. She said heels were made for women and if guys were gonna start wearing heels we needed to wear the whole outfit. We need to wear women clothes to complete the puzzle. She stated guy clothes and heels do not match at all. I said ok thanks for ur opinion and went out.

[wedgemao]

that is somehow positive i guess....

[SF]

Everyone has an opinion, and she gave hers, solicited or not.  Looks like the lady was NOT "approving" of your attire, and she let you know.  It is too bad that some folks act this way but that is reality.  I am always out dressed as a guy while wearing gals shoes and have never had a negative confrontation like you had.  Sure folks notice, but no negative comments to me directly.  

If it were me, I would consider calling the store manager and/or corporate (if it was a chain store) and complain.  Not a lot will probably come of it but at least you are doing the right thing.  

Another possibility;  maybe the lady was just trying to "help" you, thinking that you may be a cross dresser in training.  In that case, go back to the store wearing some nice heels and ask her for further fashion advice - ha ha.  

Bottom line, she was probably just mean - unfortunately there are mean folks in this world, and every once and a while we must encounter them.  

Have fun heeling, I know I do….   Take care, sf

[mlroseplant]

And so continues the endless circular argument about how masculine or feminine we need to be when sporting heels. I have my own opinions about that, but on the other hand, I realize that I am downright tiny, so what works for me probably won't work for a man who is much larger.

In the end, if you look in the mirror, and are happy with the way you look, go with it! Stand up straight, walk well, and smile! It sounds silly, but that really goes a long way. Good luck to you.

[jetheelsfan]

The conventional is that "heels and a dress look the best" has been the common.  Later came the heels with trousers, pants, or jeans - which I hate on the gals as they cover the shoes most of the time.  But I am grateful that that is acceptable as that is what I will do if and when my nerve meets the opportunity.

 

I did go out that way yesterday for a walk in the neighborhood wearing my Payless Champion Imerse hidden heel sneakers with no problem.  I actually wore them all day including mowing the lawn.  They were very comfortable and comparable to my regular shoes.

[newguy]

I am sure u guys hear this argument alot. Its not like she had room to talk. She wss wearing jean skirt with calf high socks and tennis shoes. She had no make up and hair was a mess. I hate when women who wear sweatpants with juicy on butt with a 1970 t shirt and flip flops wants to criticize u and others. I been taking y'all advise just wear them and be happy.

[SF]

Newguy…  Looks like you just proved your point….  sf

[SleekHeels]

... lady at counter was shaking her head. She told me that she doesn't mind guys wearing heels but we needed to wear them right... We need to wear women clothes to complete the puzzle....

 

From what you described it doesn't sound like she was saying that a guy has to convincingly pass as a woman to wear heels. Perhaps she's reasonably open-minded about gender but more polarised in her thinking about fashion... like she doesn't mind guys jumping over the fence to the other side, but wants the fence to stay.

 

I think some of the more tailored styles of clothes, from the mens or womens department, can look great with heels. Meanwhile I can't imagine wearing heels with tracksuit bottoms regardless of which department they came from. I see it as more of a casual vs sharp style distinction rather than menswear vs womenswear.

[saudade]

From what you described it doesn't sound like she was saying that a guy has to convincingly pass as a woman to wear heels. Perhaps she's reasonably open-minded about gender but more polarised in her thinking about fashion... like she doesn't mind guys jumping over the fence to the other side, but wants the fence to stay.

 

I think some of the more tailored styles of clothes, from the mens or womens department, can look great with heels. Meanwhile I can't imagine wearing heels with tracksuit bottoms regardless of which department they came from. I see it as more of a casual vs sharp style distinction rather than menswear vs womenswear.

 

Yep, honestly I can't think of wearing most mens clothes with heels just because honestly, I agree overall with what this woman said. They clash a bit too much. More the overall look has to "fit", aka wearing baggy pants isn't going to look good with stilettos. On anyone, ever probably. But wear stilettos with skinny jeans, if you're a stick like I am and can strut well enough you only get positive comments. Well that and high school kids start taking pictures and i'm sure posting on Facebook, but whatever.

 

You can't ignore the forest for the trees, just like if you're wearing heels you can't ignore the rest of the outfit.

[JeffB]

Yep, honestly I can't think of wearing most mens clothes with heels just because honestly, I agree overall with what this woman said. They clash a bit too much. More the overall look has to "fit", aka wearing baggy pants isn't going to look good with stilettos. On anyone, ever probably. But wear stilettos with skinny jeans, if you're a stick like I am and can strut well enough you only get positive comments. Well that and high school kids start taking pictures and i'm sure posting on Facebook, but whatever.

 

You can't ignore the forest for the trees, just like if you're wearing heels you can't ignore the rest of the outfit.

 

I couldn't agree more. You just can't put on a pair of heels with whatever clothes you decided to wear that day and head out. It's important to plan the entire outfit from head to toe in order to look your very best. Study and observe what women wear, then emulate their outfits. As for that woman, perhaps she's the overly opinionated type who dispenses her particular brand of advice and wisdom to anyone she deems to be in need of same, regardless of if people want it. Still, in this case, I wouldn't dismiss her words, wear clothes that compliment the shoes, if those clothes come from the women's side of the store, so be it. Again, plan your outfit and you won't go wrong.

[HappyinHeels]

newguy,   I don't think she was being constructively positive rather just being a bitch. If her fashion sense and opinion wre widely accepted or sought she'd be working in the fashion circles and NOT in some convenience store. She needs to be shut down. She wouldn't have said anything to a woman wearing mostly men's clothing. You are a store customer and that is the only basis for evaluation here. Anything less than positive and respectful treatment is not to be tolerated. It is the bully coming out before you. A bully needs to be confronted either diplomatically or directly. HappyinHeels

[newguy]

Thanks everyone for opinions and support. I get that heels need to match with the right outfit. I have been looking at a few gallery's to get some ideas. I have been looking. One problem my wife doesnt support me and she pays the bills. Its hard to spend money on women's jeans or clothes without hee knowing bout them. There have been a few pair of jeans I have wanted. I am crazy bout heels and leggings. I have been wearing leggings and they look great on me. I have yet to build confidence to go to a women dept store with leggings and heels to see what looks good on me.

[Ben094]

Thanks everyone for opinions and support. I get that heels need to match with the right outfit. I have been looking at a few gallery's to get some ideas. I have been looking. One problem my wife doesnt support me and she pays the bills. Its hard to spend money on women's jeans or clothes without hee knowing bout them. There have been a few pair of jeans I have wanted. I am crazy bout heels and leggings. I have been wearing leggings and they look great on me. I have yet to build confidence to go to a women dept store with leggings and heels to see what looks good on me.

 

Confidence is by far the biggest step for most people, myself included.

 

As comfortable as I am walking around in my heels at home, as well as not caring if the neighbours notice me, it's still a huge challenge to just throw on a pair of heels and go out.

 

I've only ever done it once and I was actually complimented by a lady passing by saying my boots looked great on me, but even with that one compliment, it's still nerve-racking. I too hate how society has deemed that guys wearing heels is some form of mortal sin. Most people forget that heels were originally designed for wealthy men. One way I look at it is that mens fashion is totally boring! Always the same stuff just in different colours. Female fashion is always changing, and more often than not, men have better taste than some women.

[Heelster]

Thanks everyone for opinions and support. I get that heels need to match with the right outfit. I have been looking at a few gallery's to get some ideas. I have been looking. One problem my wife doesnt support me and she pays the bills. Its hard to spend money on women's jeans or clothes without hee knowing bout them. There have been a few pair of jeans I have wanted. I am crazy bout heels and leggings. I have been wearing leggings and they look great on me. I have yet to build confidence to go to a women dept store with leggings and heels to see what looks good on me.

 

Regarding the budget - - thrift shop.

 

I buy almost all my jeans for less than $4.00 off the womens rack. Usually the mens rack is pretty thin in slection, and actually higher priced locally. Your prices may vary. Also check garage sales etc..

 

I once bought 3 pairs of Pleaser/Ellie "jackstands" at a garage sale for a mere $5.00. Never worn, and in my size too.

[Histiletto]

Even in this forum of high heels for men, there are so many opinions as to what is the best style of high heeled footwear for men. Some here advocate the wearing of block and wedge type heels is more appropriate for men, because the wearing of the so-called feminine styles are making it harder for men in heels to be socially accepted. Others lean more to the options of the thinly styled spike and stiletto heels with the understanding that gender labels are man-made and therefore subject to a person's desire to choose. This is a natural right each individual has the stewardship to perform, due to the fact no one else, even society's elite, knows your personal desires as to what your preferences are concerning your adornment choices. The convenience store clerk had the perception that heels should be worn with dress styled designs and it is her right to advocate that opinion. This does not mean anyone can't wear heels with a shirt and jeans outfit and that others find the look very becoming. Most of the fashion ads for menswear show heels as part of the look. 

 

Most of our inhibitions about wearing heels are the results of the social attitude. It may be uncool for men to wear heels at this time, but it has never been a sin, no matter what your religious affiliations may cause you to think. I know people have riled against such adornment, due to their beliefs, but their claims don't hold much weight when they are matched with the total picture of life. Especially since the gender labels for attiring items are man-made and subject to the whims of fashion.

[Gudulitooo]

I think she is both right and wrong.

 

Women wear heels for different reasons, among which to be attractive, to stand out, to have a better walk, by taste, or even to impress other women, etc. This leads them to a whole outfit with heels.

 

As a guy, you may have other reasons, or you will translate differently the reason into an outfit.

 

It appears she was misleaded when trying to figure out the reason why you wore heels, thus concluded that the heels did not match the outfit.