Negative Experiences?

[P08C]

Hey guys, I'm new to the forum and thought I'd do a quick intro and then ask a question. I'm 25 y/o and married. Been wearing heels or having the urge to wear for a very long time now. My wife is ok with it and just wants me to do what I'm happy with. I've worn heels in public several times (very nervous and scared each time)...the nerves ended up going away after being out for an hour or two but working up the courage to step out the door in heels is my biggest challenge...very very very scary for me...my wife worries too. I read alot about guys getting compliments and being out in public not being so bad but I know that it can't be all positive. What I'm wondering is what sort of negative experiences have you had and how did you overcome the ridicule or whatever that experience was? How did you find the courage to just keep marching on and going out the next day and the day after that in the shoes that you love? I've never had any compliments or any negative reactions but I always worry about what that would be like and how I would handle it and react to it. I hope that one day in the near future I can finally feel comfortable enough to wear what I want when I want where I want without giving a damn about getting made fun of. I mean honestly...when you think about it, it's silly to worry about something so much and so trivial as a pair of shoes but yet I think about it for many hours a day without being able to find that courage in me to be me. I'm sure I'm not the only one.

[Curt]

No negative comments, just some long stares. You have to have a bit of attitude to pull off wearing heels. I find the people who hate it the most are old people. Wear them to church and see what happens. If you can wear them there, you can0 wear themb anywhere!

[saudade]

So maybe I've developed thick skin, but the negative comments don't worry me much. Its the grabby guys that make me want punch people in the face. The stares/laughs/old people grumbles/etc... are all pretty much something you'll have to get used to if you want to wear heels in public. Think of it this way, do you give a shit what other people think about something you enjoy? Hopefully you said no, otherwise you'll gonna have a hard time. >.< The grabby people though, thats the part that makes me angry. At least women (generally) ask before playing grab ass. So at the least be prepared for physical things to happen you've likely never had happen before. Grabbing of your ass, others putting their hands on your legs, etc... But its like riding motorcycles, you do it for the enjoyment, not the risks. At least thats the best answer I can give you. Just go out and do it.

[Steve63130]

See post #67 in the thread "Anyone Too Scared to Wear Heels Outside?" I won't post it again here, but it's worth the read. Steve

[SleekHeels]

I think we amplify people's natural reactions of surprise... don't think of the stares or giggles as negative, it's just the sound of people's preconceptions being challenged. More significant negative remarks are rare and they're simply displays of ignorance. So long as you consider your personal safety that's the main thing - my rule is I only consider wearng heels where women would feel comfortable wearing them.

[Histiletto]

Obviously, wearing heels is important to us. If we are willing to make it happen, then we will find the ways we can be comfortable with. It may mean we'll have to change our friends expectations or find others who are more open to supportting individual freedoms. We have a tendency to confine ourselves in the familiar environment and expecting this world to adapt to us, but that is too much too ask for without first doing our part in bring about such a change. Men wearing heels publicly is in an infant stage of becoming a social norm. It is up to us who desire such a change to prepare the way for this environment of male heeling to evolve. Like most social changes, there will be opposition. Even some people still don't approve of women wearing jeans, instead of dresses after this span of time. So, since we choose to wear heels, we'll have to instigate and promote it as best we see fit, for we can't expect it to happen without us.

[roniheels]

I had one negative experience. I've shared in in many past posts. The bottom line was I was able to avoid confrontation and just keep the incident in mind for future outings.

[Kittyinboots]

I've had a handful of negative experiences. Yesterday I went to update my drivers license, and the woman at the counter whispered to her co-worker, "Check out the boots on this guy as he walks in." And I was right in front of her. I remind myself that it goes with the territory. But that is why I am here, to read how other members handle those times. I like to think that the positive experiences will outweigh the bad ones. And I agree with our members, just stand tall with your head up high and walk like you belong in your boots.

[Jimnj3]

Kittyinboots, Were they the boots in your avatar? Maybe she is a shoe person and couldn't help but notice. Not a real negative experience but something that may or will happen when we stand out from the crowd. I agree with your last statement of walking with your head up high and walk like you belong in your boots! Or heels.

[SF]

P08C, Negative (and positive) experiences while out in heels will happen - just expect it. After all, you are a guy wearing women's shoes, and some folks will notice and react, good or bad. Fortunately, for me at least, both are rare. Most folks don't notice your shoes or even care. Just go and do what you enjoy, and have fun... sf

[Kittyinboots]

Kittyinboots,

Were they the boots in your avatar? Maybe she is a shoe person and couldn't help but notice. Not a real negative experience but something that may or will happen when we stand out from the crowd. I agree with your last statement of walking with your head up high and walk like you belong in your boots! Or heels.

Yes, I wore my brown high heel boots. Other than that it was a crowded building, everyone else pretty much kept to themselves since they were all thinking about getting there licenses.

[niknhose]

To be honest, the most negative comment I have had about my heels was 'look a crossdresser'. This came from a girl, who lacks a filter, at a pagan group meeting. Most of the people that I deal with have been accepting of it. There are a couple of girls at my work that even check out my shoes everyday. I did get a few interesting reactions the other day when I wore pink tights and stiletos. Nothing bad however. One girl actually reached down and ran her hand along my leg. Nikki

[AZShoeNut]

One girl actually reached down and ran her hand along my leg.

That actually sounds pretty cool.

[Jimnj3]

To be honest, the most negative comment I have had about my heels was 'look a crossdresser'. This came from a girl, who lacks a filter, at a pagan group meeting.

Most of the people that I deal with have been accepting of it. There are a couple of girls at my work that even check out my shoes everyday.

I did get a few interesting reactions the other day when I wore pink tights and stiletos. Nothing bad however. One girl actually reached down and ran her hand along my leg.

Nikki

I have to ask, Is this something you wore to work? What was the rest of the outfit?

[saudade]

That actually sounds pretty cool.

Replace cool with creepy sure. I find it funny that what gets classed as harassment is "cool" if it happens to a guy. Not judging, just amused by the dichotomy.

All I can say is when people have found it appropriate to touch me when I don't want it, it being cool is not quite what I have in mind of the experience.

[AZShoeNut]

Replace cool with creepy sure. I find it funny that what gets classed as harassment is "cool" if it happens to a guy. Not judging, just amused by the dichotomy.

All I can say is when people have found it appropriate to touch me when I don't want it, it being cool is not quite what I have in mind of the experience.

Ahh, I hear you. Sorry 'bout that.

[Steve63130]

I have had women look at my pantyhose and want to touch it. My standard reply is, "Hey, I'll give you just 20 minutes to take your hand off my leg!" HA HA HA Steve

[Curt]

Not sure this is negative or not? I was on the bus with my platform high heels on. They look like stripper heels with a bit more class. Anyway, a little girl pointed at my shoes and said to her mother, look at his shoes. I loved it. Couldn't stop smiling. The girl probably thought they were cool, and wanted a pair. I didn't look at them or say anything. A wanted it to look like a was dressed like everybody else. After all, we have the freedom to wear whatever we feel happy in. All in all, a liked the attention! All it did was feed my already huge ego!

[niknhose]

I have to ask, Is this something you wore to work? What was the rest of the outfit?

I wear heels to work on a daily basis. I wear them for a couiple of reasons, 1. Like most guys here, becuase I want to. 2. One of the treatments for achilles tendonitis(yes, diagnosed) is to put lifts(wedges) in your shoes. I didn't want to spend money on a plastic wedge for my shoes when I had a prefectly good pair of pumps. 7 months later the tendon is in better shape, but I still have a ways to go.

My daily attire is usually jeans or slacks with a polo, t-shirt on friday. I usually wear tan or black sheer nylons and whatever pumps I throw on.

That day I was wearing a pink nerd t-shirt that said "it's not pink, it's lightish red" with jeans, the pink(mulberry from no nonsense) opaque tights and black stitletos. I think it was a bit of shock and awe that day.

The girl is someone I have known for about 6 or 7 years and we have had some light hearted risque(sp?) bantar back and forth over the years.

Since I am in a unique position that I have to wear heels(or some type of lift device in my shoes, heels are better), I am starting to have some fun with it. I also just bought a pair of purple and pink Brash Jupiter sandal pumps, so we will see how that goes.

Nikki

[Jimnj3]

Thanks, Sounds like a fun place to work and wear what you want. Glad the heels do the job on the tendonitis. far better than lifts!! You have painted a fine picture in my mind. Love to see a real one! Jim

[Curt]

I started wearing heels for tendinitis also! The only problem now is, I've shortened my archillis tendons by wearing heels all the time. I don't think my foot doctor meant for me to wear 5" heels!

[niknhose]

I started wearing heels for tendinitis also! The only problem now is, I've shortened my archillis tendons by wearing heels all the time. I don't think my foot doctor meant for me to wear 5" heels!

I was advised by my doctor to wear lower heels(at the time I was wearing 3+ inch heels). I normally wear 2 and a half inch pumps. There is also a set of stretches and exercises I do most days(also recommended by my doctor). I would suggest speaking with your doctor as to your best treatment options.

Nikki

[leyland1]

Thanks, Sounds like a fun place to work and wear what you want. Glad the heels do the job on the tendonitis. far better than lifts!!

You have painted a fine picture in my mind. Love to see a real one!

Jim

So would I!

To the guy who said a girl touching his leg is cool, I totally agree - I would love to get pleasant comment about my heels. I did surprise some nurses at the hospital a few weeks back when I wore heels to an appointment where I had to be measured and they had to measure the heel to get my height. Turns out I'm getting shorter - time to get higher heels!

Don't worry what people think OP, just be ready with a smart answer for the ignorant staff but ignore people who say things in the street to avoid a fight. But if you get into a fight hit him with your heels - it'll sure smart and he won't soon forget it.

[Curt]

Funny about the girl touching your feet. I wore my 70s platform leather boots to work. I work at a factory. A guy touched my feet. I'm not gay, but nothing wrong with it if you are, god created us all equal, but I thought it was cool!! I've only had one negative experience, people yelling from a truck. I wore disco shoes with long jeans, you couldn't even see the heels, and a button down shirt with shades on. What is abnormal with that. And why do people judge your sexual preference with the way you dress?

[newheeler]

I've only had one negative experience, people yelling from a truck. I wore disco shoes with long jeans, you couldn't even see the heels, and a button down shirt with shades on. What is abnormal with that. And why do people judge your sexual preference with the way you dress?

Because they have their own desire that doesn't match with ours While we can accept them, it's not a mutual thing.

[Shafted]

I've only had one negative experience, people yelling from a truck.

It's funny how my own negative experiences are pretty much the same. It's usually a coward, the reason for a getaway vehicle. The same jerks would never do it otherwise.

[Blacksheep]

I was wearing my 5" helped boots. The other day, a car drove by, I could hear the driver yell something, however, he turned around about 200m down the road, then raced back and out the window, yelled " homo" and carried on. No other issues at all. Another interesting event was when I was wearing 4" heeled knee high boots, a convoy of about 10 police cars drove by,many almost broke their neck staring.

[Shafted]

A person who hurls insults from vehicles (moving or otherwise) is a coward. They're afraid you'll kick their butt if you got a hold of them.

[AZShoeNut]

A person who hurls insults from vehicles (moving or otherwise) is a coward. They're afraid you'll kick their butt if you got a hold of them.

Ya, I hear you, however, I tend to believe that someone who has it in them to flip a u-turn just so that they can yell more insults has it in them to throw the car in park, get out, and become violent if provoked. My old boss would have done just that. Shoot, he claimed to have ripped an ear ring out of a guy's ear in high school (80s).

Making that u-turn makes this guy a person to ignore and avoid.

[chris100575]

I've only ever had one sort-of negative experience. I went shopping wearing my avatar boots but with the purple flames, I was also wearing black jeans and T-shirt, and a long black leather coat. I walked past a gang of teenage boys, one of whom started laughing and pointing at my heels while loudly advertising the fact that I was wearing high heels to his friends. Funnily enough, he stopped as soon as I turned round and made eye contact with him.