HappyFeat Posted December 27, 2008 Posted December 27, 2008 Inspired by the thread http://www.hhplace.org/discuss/guys/12637-2008_good_year_bad_year_heels.html, I thought in addition to looking back on 2008, we should look forward to where our heels may take us in 2009. I was wondering if anybody else had any New Years resolutions for heeling? Mine are to: 1) Have a public outing at least twice a week 2) An extended public outing in a skirt 3) Go on a date wearing heels I know, pretty tame for some of you, but those are my heeling goals for 2009. Style is built from the ground up!
JeffB Posted December 27, 2008 Posted December 27, 2008 Now I like this thread! Nothing like having goals to work on acheiving, and your resolutions are as good as any. As for my own modest 2009 goals: 1- Finding more nice pumps and boots in my size, maybe even find then in stores! 2- More outings in heels and skirts as I'm becoming more comfortable wearing the latter in public 3- Hope to enjoy more outings with fellow HHPlace members I don't want to LOOK like a woman, I just want to DRESS like a woman!
5.5 Thrill Posted December 27, 2008 Posted December 27, 2008 Great Thread!! TO: Continue walking and shopping wearing my heels AND to orginize a heel meet here in the Portland, OR. area (with a little help from my friends) IF GIRLS CAN WEAR PANTS THEN I CAN WEAR HEELS
johnieheel Posted December 27, 2008 Posted December 27, 2008 Great thread HappyFeat. Made mine last year to wear heels in public everywhere I go and still at it. Will continue 2009 with same resolution. real men wear heels
Stilettoscot Posted December 27, 2008 Posted December 27, 2008 Excellent thread! Usually I'm not into resolutions as I rarely make them, but... 1. Incorperate, more, the correct attitude in life with regards to public heeling (like Johnieheel, Happyfeat, Jeff B, Kneehighs...etc). Yes, I do go, and just about all my friends, co-workers, and family know about my heeling, but I still get butterflies... 2. Go UP and UP! I want to walk better in ultra high heels (7" or better) and be able to do so in public. I LOVE the feeling of walking in such high heels, and am getting much better at them than I'd ever thought I would have by this time. 3. Have a great pair of custom made, high quality ultra highs made for me. I want to feel the quality of them on my feet... 4. Get to meet all of you fellow heel fanatics! Going to practice in my 7+"ers now, never too early to start... Walking in ultra-highs because it's exciting...and it is!!
ShockQueen Posted December 28, 2008 Posted December 28, 2008 The only real resolution I have as far as heeling goes is to be able to walk better in 5" heels, since I have some of those, but don't go very far in them. I have one pair of knee-high leather boots with 5" stiletto heels that I'd love to be able to wear a lot more, but of course will take some practice to get good at it - that and lose some weight. :-) SQ.....still busting societal molds with a smile...and a 50-ton sledge!
Dawn HH Posted December 29, 2008 Posted December 29, 2008 I generally don't make resolutions, but I'll make one for 2009. 1. To be able to once again wear my heels and maybe to be able to streetheel again. I know it is not much, but that is all that I can muster at the present time. Cheers--- Dawn HH High Heeled Boots Forever!
vector Posted December 29, 2008 Posted December 29, 2008 1. Spend less on heels. 2. Attend at least one heel meet. 3. Lose weight. 4. Spend less on heels. 5. Go heeling solo.
radiodave Posted December 29, 2008 Posted December 29, 2008 Vector said it; spend less on heels. Especially true for me since we're having to take some pay cuts at work. Aside from that, I'd like to wear them more in 2009, and maybe even make good on my thoughts of vacationing in heels. Maybe I'll try some more daring ones too. Who knows? Last summer I managed some low heeled wedges with a toe ring, maybe this year will be some higher heels with some red nail polish.
Dawn HH Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 I just thought of another resolution. 1. To do my darndest to attend any Pittsburgh heeling meet if one were to be planned. Cheers--- Dawn HH High Heeled Boots Forever!
thighboots Posted January 2, 2009 Posted January 2, 2009 My New Years Resolution is to tell my wife I wear heels! 1) I owe it to her to tell her 2) I am fed up with having to hide my heels and steal secret moments wearing them. I dont expect her to be jumping for joy, but I do not want to have to hide to part of me anymore. I would love to be able to have my heel collection in my waldrobe and wear them openly! 2009 is going to be the year - I just have to do it now. I know I should have done it years ago! Any advice???
thedesigner Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Resolution is to wear my jeans shorter with heels.... Or tucked in boots....
PatentHeel Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 My New Years Resolution is to tell my wife I wear heels! 1) I owe it to her to tell her 2) I am fed up with having to hide my heels and steal secret moments wearing them. I dont expect her to be jumping for joy, but I do not want to have to hide to part of me anymore. I would love to be able to have my heel collection in my waldrobe and wear them openly! 2009 is going to be the year - I just have to do it now. I know I should have done it years ago! Any advice??? Thighboots, I remember telling my wife (see http://www.hhplace.org/discuss/everybody/10920-almost_blew-5.html#post165980). The only advice I can give is to pick the right moment to tell her, be prepared to feel very embarrassed and show her this forum. It is nice to have no secrets in a relationship and having told my wife, it was a real weight off the shoulders. Good luck telling her and feel free to PM me if you want any more advice. PatentHeel
Bubba136 Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 My New Years Resolution is to tell my wife I wear heels! 1) I owe it to her to tell her 2) I am fed up with having to hide my heels and steal secret moments wearing them. I dont expect her to be jumping for joy, but I do not want to have to hide to part of me anymore. I would love to be able to have my heel collection in my waldrobe and wear them openly! 2009 is going to be the year - I just have to do it now. I know I should have done it years ago! Any advice??? You didn't tell her before you got married? First mistake!!!!! If, as you allude, you've been married to her for "years," you should have a good idea of how she is going to react when you finally tell her. My advice, act accordingly to how you know she is going to react and not HOW YOU WISH THAT SHE WOULD REACT. WISHFUL THINKING THAT WENT WRONG, COST MANY A HEEL WEARER HIS FAMILY. Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.
Histiletto Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Oh thighboots, I know you want to feel free to heel with your wife's companionship and I hope you can reach that objective. Whether she has any idea or not, you have invested a lot of time without her. She will question her worth in your eyes. She will also think that the heels are her replacement and her competition for your affections. So make sure your love for her is the reason you have to come out of your life of secrecy. If she thinks that you're devulging your desire to heel is only to wear heels all the time, then you probably don't have a chance in the world of saving your relationship. I hope you and she will continue to rekindle the feelings that brought you two together. Maybe she would like a heeling partner, once she feels secure. My resolution for 2009: I am going to take dancing lessons while wearing heels. I'll probably have to start as a beginner, just to get in shape for the activities.
HHfanatic Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 For 2009.... Will start to use my 4" boots on a regular basis. If not every day, at least 2-3 times a week. Hopefulle I will get enough practise to go to 4,5" and 5" by the end of the year. I have no plans to go any higher than that. Thightboots... Just a thought...what about just get yourself a pair of boots, masculin look, with 2,5/3" heels as a start. Dont ask her if she is okay about it, just start to use them like the most normal thing there is. Then after a while you go for 3,5"/4" inch.... If she ask, tell her you will try to change your look, be more fashion...etc...
HHLover Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 I echo some of the other members recommendations. I'd be very careful how you break it to her. You might want to start "feeling around" to see what kind of response that you might get. Maybe drop a few discreet questions or comments to see how she reacts. I only say this because I was in the same situation and mine didn't turn out that well. My wife and I are now working on a divorce because of my love of heels. Please think it through before you decide to "drop the bomb".
HHfanatic Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Why should the wife control your life? What many of the wifes clearly says: My way or the highway... Is that correct?
jwhite44 Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 For 2009.... ...Thightboots... Just a thought...what about just get yourself a pair of boots, masculin look, with 2,5/3" heels as a start. Dont ask her if she is okay about it, just start to use them like the most normal thing there is. Then after a while you go for 3,5"/4" inch.... If she ask, tell her you will try to change your look, be more fashion...etc... I think this is great advice, one I also mentioned in other threads. 3" heels at the beginning I think is a bit aggessive, I would suggest something like these: http://www.zappos.com/n/p/p/7157266/c/816.html They are definitely men's shoes, but with a 1 3/4" heel, there's also no doubt that they are heeled shoes. Take your wife/partner out to dinner, combining these with maybe a new pair of pants or shirt/sweater, with the excuse (if needed), "I wanted to try something different". I think most partners would appreciate any attempt you do to make yourself look better (or different). Then all you need is a favorable response to, "I like the way these shoes feel", or "it's interesting walking in shoes with a heel.". If so, that gives you some level of approval, and allows you to keep pushing the envelope of shoes with higher heels. It's apt to be a big adjustment for your partner, and a non-traditional one at that, so I think it really pays to take it slow. Hopefully things will go well, and your 2009 heeling outlook will be a bright one.
Bubba136 Posted January 3, 2009 Posted January 3, 2009 Why should the wife control your life? What many of the wifes clearly says: My way or the highway... Is that correct? Bad thinking for anyone that has ever been in this situation. The scenario is that when a man and women get married, they become a team. The idea is that everything will be equally shared (Which, normally doesn't happen - but, that's another thread). Most of us that have been married for years recognize that, after a short time being married, wives become almost "omnipotent." It's in the female genes. And, the path to a normal, untroubled, smooth life together is that "all things" are openly discussed and decisions are taken together. You can't have a "untroubled" existence if there is major disagreement on one issue that might be, or seem to be, insignificant to one partner and is relationship altering to the other. Almost all "wives" choose (select) the man they want as their "life partner" based upon their "manliness. The more "mocho" the more attractive the male appears to be (survival of the strongest). A man that likes to wear high heels and/or other items of feminine apparel, doesn't scream 'MAN" at any volume sufficient to attract many women. And is a "major turn-off" to about 80% of the females on earth. In cases where the wife isn't supportive, it can clearly become a question of "either you quit this foolishness and be the man I thought you were when I married you or I will leave" - or, as you say: "my way or the highway." This is a actual, true fact of life and can become a life altering reality that will effect you for as long as you are breathing. If, you can't give it up and conform to your partner's ideals, then, unless you desire to lead a very troubled and unhappy life, the choice is to pack your "frilly lady things" up and move out. It all depends upon how much you want to remain with the woman and are willing to "change" in order to stay with her. And this, based on a wealth of experience related to us over the years by members of this forum, can be extremely difficult to do as well as being highly angst causing, leading to a very unhappy existence. Another truth about this whole "gender" confusion issue is that once you "tell" your wife of your devient desires, the situation between you will never be the same. -- forever altered because you are not only the "man" she thought you to be and you've broken the "bond of trust" that existed before you told her the truth about yourself. So, as cavilere as it might sound when you ask "why should a wife control your life?" be very clear of what the actual consequences are going to be before you open your mouth and, perhaps, shoot your own ass off. Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.
Guest Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 well Bubba136, this stuff about a woman thinking about "masculin appearence" based on what is SUPPOSED to be disirable in men & all this stuff about her feelings in the back of her mind of "your not the man I thought you were" is ENTIRLY based on social misconceptions on HER part, not yours & just because they (the women) think that by judging by appearence based of dress ALONE that you are somehow LESS of a man that you really are, makes absolutly no sense to me in any way!! you probably know it has been said in this forum before that it is really ALL a mind game in society when it comes to "masculin & feminine" concepts & those concepts can & do change from all over the whole -world its really kind of rediculous in a way (or make that many ways) about what its really intended to mean in the long run, this stuff about "heels=feminine, flat (boring we all mean)= masculin" its really has NOTHING to do with sex (gender if you will) or the idea (whatever the hell its supposed to convey) of it being the same, its a concept that I really do feel that most people get mixed up & dont even know they are mixed up NOR why they get it confused in the first place
boots4ever Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 To come back to the root of the topic..... My Heeling Resolution - 2009 1. Creating outstanding outfits - naturally with heels/boots! I was impressed by kneehighs in 2008. I took many of his ideas, mixed it with "my way" and found out my "men & heels dna". If you have outstanding outfits, are selfconfident and have the right mix of being cocky & funny, then you don´t have to care about "how do I excuse for wearing heels". 2. Finding new - awsome / stylish / friends! And guess what? This means going out! So resoltution 1 will be ensured :-) The venues will be gothic clubs, some open minded upper class clubs, a lot of arts galleries/exhibitions 3. Spending less on heels & more on style! In 2008 I bought a lot of fashion & heels. Not very selective. Some upper class items and a lot of designer outlet items and too many heels (about 20 pairs). So I will start 2009 with selling a lot of things at eBay first. Then I will buy some of the things I wished, but I thought I should not buy because they are too expensive. This will ensure resulution 1 again. That´s it. Easy as it is.
Bubba136 Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 you probably know it has been said in this forum before that it is really ALL a mind game in society when it comes to "masculin & feminine" concepts & those concepts can & do change from all over the whole -world its really kind of rediculous in a way (or make that many ways) about what its really intended to mean in the long run, this stuff about "heels=feminine, flat (boring we all mean)= masculin" its really has NOTHING to do with sex (gender if you will) or the idea (whatever the hell its supposed to convey) of it being the same, its a concept that I really do feel that most people get mixed up & dont even know they are mixed up NOR why they get it confused in the first place YOUR analysis is "spot=on." I've no problem with it. However, it is YOUR analysis, YOUR concept and YOUR ideas (admittedly shared by the majority of the high heel wearing male members of this forum) that you are spinning in your favor to make your point. You, also like many other forum members, are eagerly looking for justification that will quickly lead to "acceptance" by the general public" of men wearing high heels -- which, for the past couple of hundred years or so have been visual "features" associated exclusively with the female "gender" (if you will) thus immediately identifing the "wearer" as female. While your point about society slowly changing and becoming accepting of males appropriating "a few" visual, here-to-before (or in our current age at least) accouterments that have been identified exclusively with the female gender -- long hair, earrings, bracelets and necklaces, etc. is true, your "wishful" thinking that society really should "increase" the rate of acceptance, isn't realistic. Society, as you say, has adopted certain physical and visual characteristics that "signal" (or identify at first glance) the sex of the individuals you encounter during the course of daily activity. Dresses, accented breasts, skirts, wearing of lipstick and facial makeup, and of course high heels, for all current common application, clearly and quickly signal the "sex" of the individual. And, just because you feel that everyone else in the thousands of "societies" that encompass the world's population should immediately change is totally wishful thinking. While, you're correct that societies continually "evolve" over time, it's going to be a long while before today's population is willing to accept an "anything goes, anything you want to be," scenario. Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.
crotchboots-m Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 as our governments,institutions,etc have found out long ago...its very hard to control what people think. so if the woman thinks that way,i wouldnt waste any breath on explaining anything.
Dawn HH Posted January 4, 2009 Posted January 4, 2009 Thighboots:-) Good luck with your desire to tell your wife about your wearing heels. Maybe this should have been done long ago, but if you value your marriage take things at a much slower pace now and feed this to her a spoonful at a time so that she will have time to think things over in between and make up her mind as what is best for both herself and you. This would be too big to heap onto her all at once in any case. Patience, my friend, is of the upmost importance right now. Good luck in your endevor to be discrete. Cheers--- Dawn HH High Heeled Boots Forever!
docs41 Posted January 5, 2009 Posted January 5, 2009 For 2009: Spend a bit less on shoes. (But in no way cut out new buys altogther!) Be even more confident in my shoe choices for public. Most shoes that I wear would be identified as ladies if anyone noticed, but now to wear some of the other shoes in my collection that I have been a bit hesitant to try out in public. To hell with the inhibitions! If the shoe fits-buy it!!!!!!
hhboots Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 Nice idea for a thread, sticking to the original topic This year I want to: 1. Lose about 30 more pounds, I have lost about 15 pounds in 2008, I have got to keep that trend going in 2009. On the heeling realm: 2. Walk into a shoe store, try on and buy myself a really nice pair of heels. Online shopping is what I do currently, its nice and easy, but, definitely has some limitations. 3. Try to make it to one meet with at least a few of you guys. I doubt I will make it to London any time soon for a full scale heel meet, but one of the smaller US meets in the western US is a good possibility.
HappyFeat Posted January 6, 2009 Author Posted January 6, 2009 I just thought of another resolution. 1. To do my darndest to attend any Pittsburgh heeling meet if one were to be planned. Cheers--- Dawn HH Hmmm...this seems like a subtle hint...maybe we can make something happen in 2009...a great resolution! Style is built from the ground up!
Dawn HH Posted January 6, 2009 Posted January 6, 2009 Happyfeat:-) I thought that was a great resolution also. Under the circumstances my resolutions are limited at this point. Cheers--- Dawn HH High Heeled Boots Forever!
vector Posted January 7, 2009 Posted January 7, 2009 HappyFeat, why don't you plan a Pittsburgh meet, then?
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