Bubba136 Posted October 26, 2008 Share Posted October 26, 2008 thank you for the reply. the absolute main reason i do not wear heels is i'm in the military. So weither i'm married or not or been to the desert to protect everyone's freedoms. it doesn't matter. perception (he's gay kick him out) reality i'm not but it doesn't matter. that is the reason i don't want to put my wife throught that. If it were accepted to wear what you want i'd be all over it; but i can't because we are a shoot first ask later group. my only choice would be to just wear them at home. until i retire. Been there, done that. I will just have to be enough to wear them in your own home until you're free to do otherwise. Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fastfreddy2 Posted October 26, 2008 Share Posted October 26, 2008 thank you for the reply. the absolute main reason i do not wear heels is i'm in the military. So weither i'm married or not or been to the desert to protect everyone's freedoms. it doesn't matter. perception (he's gay kick him out) reality i'm not but it doesn't matter. that is the reason i don't want to put my wife throught that. If it were accepted to wear what you want i'd be all over it; but i can't because we are a shoot first ask later group. my only choice would be to just wear them at home. until i retire. Once again, your situation is not so unusual. I'm not in the military, but everyone in my social and business circle would respond the same way. I get around this by having something of two lives. The regular one, and the irregular one. I get what I want outside my normal social circle. It's not perfect, but it works. For the most part, I do it with my wife, and we both have a nice time doing it. We have days out together, me wearing heels, often she not. The world doesn't end, and although I walk past what must be thousands of people during a day out, the worst that happens is one or two people notice I've got heels on. As many others here will tell you, just about the only thing that stops you really enjoying your interest, is you. I REALLY get where you are being in the military and having the interest you have. But like any other 'intimate' interest you might have (I'm thinking 'odd-sex' here) why does it need to be shared with people outside your relationship with your wife? If you can find a way to allow yourself some pleasure from your interest, possibly you won't find it such a handicap? If timetables and family commitments allow, why not have a day out together in another city (or for that matter, another country) and you wear some heels while you're out? I'm not recommending you wear 7" platforms and a short skirt walking around streets in daylight. But maybe some block heels under trousers, and if your confidence rises, maybe some thinner heels during the evening while out having dinner? As with my remarks >> here << you have the contrary (opposite) experience. Everything to do with heels makes you unhappy (or at least it seems that way). Whereas most here have very positive experiences. Seems like maybe you need some positive (pleasurable) experiences, that might make you more comfortable with your interest in heels. ...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wxman25 Posted October 26, 2008 Share Posted October 26, 2008 Once again, your situation is not so unusual. I'm not in the military, but everyone in my social and business circle would respond the same way. I get around this by having something of two lives. The regular one, and the irregular one. I get what I want outside my normal social circle. It's not perfect, but it works. For the most part, I do it with my wife, and we both have a nice time doing it. We have days out together, me wearing heels, often she not. The world doesn't end, and although I walk past what must be thousands of people during a day out, the worst that happens is one or two people notice I've got heels on. As many others here will tell you, just about the only thing that stops you really enjoying your interest, is you. I REALLY get where you are being in the military and having the interest you have. But like any other 'intimate' interest you might have (I'm thinking 'odd-sex' here) why does it need to be shared with people outside your relationship with your wife? If you can find a way to allow yourself some pleasure from your interest, possibly you won't find it such a handicap? If timetables and family commitments allow, why not have a day out together in another city (or for that matter, another country) and you wear some heels while you're out? I'm not recommending you wear 7" platforms and a short skirt walking around streets in daylight. But maybe some block heels under trousers, and if your confidence rises, maybe some thinner heels during the evening while out having dinner? As with my remarks >> here << you have the contrary (opposite) experience. Everything to do with heels makes you unhappy (or at least it seems that way). Whereas most here have very positive experiences. Seems like maybe you need some positive (pleasurable) experiences, that might make you more comfortable with your interest in heels. ...... don't get me wrong i love heels. when my wife wears them she is the sexiest woman alive. and i do enjoy wearing them but it's that perciption i spoke about. the idea of going to a diffrent city or area is very good. i might try it with the proper pants of course. thanks for the advice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Histiletto Posted October 26, 2008 Share Posted October 26, 2008 Everyone struggles with their social disagreements and wants to some how change things to make their lives less controversial so that they can fit in better. By taking such a pill, you suppress who you are. Some how, down the road, your psyche will either cause you to feel less than a person or you will still have feelings of being trapped and want to break out. Taking another point of view, would we give the pill to the people around us to make them accept our heeling? Probably not, because we want genuine feedback, instead of fake or induced feelings. Having "yes people" around us means we have to become the task masters and no one else has the ability to think on their own. I certainly don't want to continue existing in this social environment, any more. Most of the opposition to our heeling comes from people who have taken this kind of pill (social doctrines) from birth and are blinded by the traditional rules and can't accept people for who they are. To them, everybody has to fit in the established social categories, because they can't see how misleading and inaccurate the present social standards are. I want to be real (not the social ideal or stereotype) and I also want everyone else to be just as real. I'll tolerate your perceived imperfections and you do the same for me. Let's find the common ground that can enrich our lives and help us to become the ideals we can look up to, even if it means I am the only one of us that chooses to wear high heels. However, you can still change your mind, eh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fastfreddy2 Posted October 27, 2008 Share Posted October 27, 2008 @Histiletto: If I were to be me (free and uncaring to those critical of the 'free' interpretation of my own style) and walked amongst those equally free to express themselves, I doubt it would take 2 hours before I would be beaten to a pulp! Social conformity ensures our streets are safe to walk on, and that we don't get robbed and raped while away from the safety of our homes. Social conformity has us "civilised" in a way that means we don't need to carry weapons when we visit the local supplies shop. You might consider some of the benefits to conformity, when you next have a soapbox moment? .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mtnsofheels Posted October 27, 2008 Share Posted October 27, 2008 Not at this point in my life, perhaps earlier in life when I was in "confusing years" as mentioned before. But I now have gone down the road to finding out about self and realizing my interest is not going away so love it instead which I do. The prospect of taking a pill to fix something which is a perception/or a cultural expectation just does fit my reasoning for complying. All said we would miss out on the excitement and rush of wearing our heelswhich is the drug that keeps us going with heel wearing. Mtnsofheels Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Histiletto Posted October 27, 2008 Share Posted October 27, 2008 @Histiletto: If I were to be me (free and uncaring to those critical of the 'free' interpretation of my own style) and walked amongst those equally free to express themselves, I doubt it would take 2 hours before I would be beaten to a pulp! Social conformity ensures our streets are safe to walk on, and that we don't get robbed and raped while away from the safety of our homes. Social conformity has us "civilised" in a way that means we don't need to carry weapons when we visit the local supplies shop. You might consider some of the benefits to conformity, when you next have a soapbox moment? .... Do what you have to in order to feel secure. There is always going to be those of the mentality just above the level of a rock that can't understand the agency of each individual to choose for themselves what they want to attire in. Society hasn't programmed them to understand such things, because it doesn't understand it either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
William Posted October 28, 2008 Share Posted October 28, 2008 Are you F@ing kidding me? A pill to make yourself "normal"? Why would anyone wish to be normal? It's way too boring to be just like the next guy. Now, a pill that drops 25 lbs off my fat ass, and at the same time, gives nice washboard abs . . . gimme, gimme, gimme! No, what we need is a pill to give to all the normal people that will give them an instant hard-on when they think about wearing high heels. We'll put high heel fetish pills in the water supply, and lets not forget to add in some leather fetish pills too. Uh oh, I think someone's tainted my dinner with masturbation pills, I gotta go rub one out. See ya! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stilettoscot Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 I don't need one of them pills. If I took just one, I'd OD. Walking in ultra-highs because it's exciting...and it is!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crotchboots-m Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 there was a time in the past when i would have done it...and i would haved bahhhhhhed my way in the mainstream. not now...its a part of me and its fun. so why give it up? and dont most us want to be a cut above the usual mob? or maybe a cut below...depending on who is making the judgement. like the clown across the street...he was my good buddy until he saw me one day in my boots and leather. now he wont even look at me. does it bother me? hell no...i am glad i flushed out the little rat...now i know his real colors. so all you lurkers remember that the ones that will reject you arent worth the trouble anyways. your real friends will remain that way regardless of you wearing heels or whatever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hose-N-Heels Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 Would not take a pill. After becoming a member, I now think I AM normal. I love heels and wouldn't want it any other way... HNH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn HH Posted November 1, 2008 Share Posted November 1, 2008 I love heels too, but what is "normal" to one person may be a totally different thing to another. Cheers--- Dawn HH High Heeled Boots Forever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
secondtake20 Posted November 1, 2008 Share Posted November 1, 2008 I love heels too, but what is "normal" to one person may be a totally different thing to another. Cheers--- Dawn HH AMEN!!!! Thank You Dawn HH. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 No no and again NO! once I can get past the public heeling fears then there will be no stopping. (do I hear an echo of that statement with different voices)? An instant pill to change genders could be an interesting question, Surgery I have been told is more than BIG ouch Currently I'll stay as I am, no desires to change! Next life who cares as long as it's fun. Al Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba136 Posted November 7, 2008 Share Posted November 7, 2008 A great deal is made out of the word "normal." While most of us here mean it to mean "currently accepted by today's society," the actual definition is: Conforming with, adhering to, or constituting a norm, standard, pattern, level, or type; typical: normal room temperature; one's normal weight; normal diplomatic relations.Which fits pretty close to what we think it means. The worst part about "normal" today is that it doesn't include men wearing heels as a general part of "standard" life. The good part is that from any definition that you can find, they all indicate - while not specifically saying -- that "normal standards" are in constant flux. What's normal in 1950 isn't necessarily "normal" in 2008. I.e.: Men wearing ear rings as part of their everyday costume became "normal" as time and exposure progressed. Perseverance and time are all that is needed to sway the idea of men wearing high heels towards the "normal" side of acceptance. Always remember it was the pioneers that took the "arrows." Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elegant Posted November 8, 2008 Share Posted November 8, 2008 The worst thing is that "normal" can mean both 'acceptable, non-pathologic' and 'statistically prevalent', and most people tend to confuse these two meanings: they tolerate [or even accept] violence, discrimination or other harmful things, while eradicating things that don't happen often [like wearing heels by men], but are totally harmless. What is good for a goose, can be good for any gender! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn HH Posted November 9, 2008 Share Posted November 9, 2008 The dictionaries of the future may well include the ideas of men wearing ear-rings, skirts, and even heels as well as other femme items in their descriptions of "normal". Who knows? Cheers--- Dawn HH High Heeled Boots Forever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crotchboots-m Posted November 10, 2008 Share Posted November 10, 2008 normal for 1950? we would be institutionalized,straitjacked and locked away for life. the only thing worse would to be an avowed communist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soccercleats Posted November 10, 2008 Share Posted November 10, 2008 A question that I've been thinking about for a while: If you could take a pill that would 'fix' your high heel / high heel + women's clothes desire, would you take it? The pill would have no side effects, and after you'd taken the pill you wouldn't miss it, since it was no longer something you desired, you would in effect be 'normal'. I think I know the answer already.... If you can make that pill, why don't you work on one to make me 100% girl, that one I would pay any price for and dream about every day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba136 Posted November 11, 2008 Share Posted November 11, 2008 I voted no. Being a woman is way to much work for my taste. While I love to dress wearing stockings, garter belts and high heels, the rest of the activity women go through (hair, makeup, nails, etc.) is way too bothersome for me. Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heelshigh Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 I want to clarify my yes answer. I would probably sit there with the pill in my hand for a long time thinking about it but in the end I think I would do it. I could live with normal. I have urges to wear heels in public but between my job, church, and volunteer work my life is just too public. My "fetish" is towards the more feminine heels like sandals with tall stilettos, not boots or "manly" looking heels and the wrong person seeing me would ruin a lot of things I enjoy as much as heel wearing. I liked the suggestion of a pill to change gender. If I could do it without losing my wife I think I would take take it. Then my love for high heels would be ok with the world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stilettoscot Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 As with anything else in life, all decisions come with consequences. To repress or not? To splurge or not? What may be easy for someone in my "shoes" to be able to do may not be easy for another. While I, now (especially since I've been a member here), would never dream of taking the "pill", I'm also not in the same position as others. Walking in ultra-highs because it's exciting...and it is!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fastfreddy2 Posted November 12, 2008 Share Posted November 12, 2008 I liked the suggestion of a pill to change gender. If I could do it without losing my wife I think I would take take it. Then my love for high heels would be ok with the world. I'd be interested to know if your wife would stay? If you enjoy the Church and the social activity this provides, I have my doubts two women living as a couple would be welcome amongst mixed couples. Women often see 'other women' as a threat (temptation) especially if they are particularly glamourous. (Potentially wanton strumpets?) I suspect anyone with more interest than a quick glimpse, maybe hasn't thought this through..... My crack about "being a woman would mean I'd start chasing men" wasn't that tongue-in-cheek. You can't intellectualise what genger you find attractive. Being a woman, statistical likelihood says 95% or more of you will want a man for a partner. As much as I love wearing heels, if it meant I was going to have to live with a balding fart machine, I'd stop wearing them yesterday. ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heelshigh Posted November 13, 2008 Share Posted November 13, 2008 I'd be interested to know if your wife would stay? If you enjoy the Church and the social activity this provides, I have my doubts two women living as a couple would be welcome amongst mixed couples. ... I wouldn't do it, it was just idle speculation(What if?) Even though we're soulmates, I don't think she has any lesbian tendencies and would NOT stay with me. Now if I could go back and forth at will without it ever becoming permanent I could enjoy that for the rest of my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnieheel Posted November 16, 2008 Share Posted November 16, 2008 If you can make that pill, why don't you work on one to make me 100% girl, that one I would pay any price for and dream about every day. I am very curious. What part of female are you NOT? real men wear heels Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tal Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 I would have taken the pill 35 years ago. Though i'm fine with my fetishes today, i also know that it done more harm then good before my full acceptance about 5 years ago (goes way beyond heels, but its a part of it). - Lied to people including me wife for my fetish. - Lost a 14 year relation because of my fetish. - People always wondering whats wrong with you because of my fetish. - Nearly killed myself because i HAD TO watch those boots and skirt. Today as i live now, i'm fine. It takes me to places all over the world, fetish partys, meet different people and so on. If i look at at the live of people around me, compared to the life i have know, i think i'm better off. It just wasn't worth it, but then, i would have put all that money into more cars, and then the question arrises....was THAT worth it? The number of people on this forum openly admitting their love for HH is probably a fraction of the people who are interested, but do not dare to say. If they would, this 'would you take the pill' would have a different outcome. Not because of the numbers, but of the level of acceptance. Sorry for crappy english. My username changes every now and then on here. God knows why. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RonC Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 I had to say yes. As the last post put it, the things that have occurred over the past 40+ years have been a test on many levels. Actually, if the internet would have been around when I was young, I may have gone a different route all together in terms of marriage, etc. If I had known that I wasn't the only man out there that enjoys wearing heels, etc, I probably would have made sure that the woman I married knew of my desires and was fully ok with it. Life would have been much easier. Who knew??? Now. with what you can find on the web, well, there is a whole 'nother world out there. Now, it is too late to go there with my wife of more than 25 years, and I also have no desire to have my adult children see dad in all his high heel glory! Actually, it wouldn't be so bad to have the fetish for heels if I kept it to having the woman in my life wearing them. That I can handle (though physical problems now prevent even that from happening, but that is a whole different sad story). So unfortunately, while it has brought me pleasure over the years, if there was a pill, I would take it in a second. Kinda' sad that we even have to think about something so simple as to who wears an item of clothing, but the expectations of the world make it so.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yozz Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 I would not take it. I am perfectly used to who I am, with all the pluses and minuses. If the world is not happy with me, that is its problem. I am violating neither laws, nor moral values. Just some arbitrary conventions. My wife likes me and we like to go shopping together, be it shoes or skirts or whatever. She appreciates it very much that I can give a well founded opinion on her clothes. And she likes to help me with mine. But even before I knew her, or before I knew about HH place and the fact that there are many men around who can break a taboo or even more who would love to break a taboo but are controlled too much by society, in the days that I felt more lonely in my love for heels and other things, I would not have wanted to change. The creativity that goes with this phenomenon is part of me and part of my job and part of my hobbies. I would not want to risk loosing even the slightest part of it. And pushing against the boundaries can also be exciting. Also as a scientist I have given presentations that were rather unconventional, but people value me for it. In short: I see no need to take such a pill. Y. Raise your voice. Put on some heels. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AZShoeNut Posted September 14, 2009 Share Posted September 14, 2009 Hello, The decision for me would be a difficult one too. I can surly say that there times that I have wondered what it would be like to see a gal in a pair of heels and not immediately wonder, "What do those shoes feel like to wear?" I have wondered what it would be like to not have to keep getting just one last glance at a gal wearing a great pair of heels out on the street. I have just wondered what life would be like without this experience because this is the only experience that I have had. Additionally there were times, especially during my late teens, where as much as I liked wearing heels I dispised the fact that I liked to wear heels. It took a lot of work with a friend and spiritual leader in the community for me to accept and eventually learn to celebrate this fact about myself. And there is the bedroom side of the equation. This experience does have an effect on my bedroom experience. I am truly grateful that I have an extremely understanding and supportive wife. I have to say that if I could take a pill that woudl improve the bedroom experience then I would take it. So, I would take a pill only to make the bedroom side of the equation better and if it would reduce the anxiety about going out in public. I would not take a pill to get ride of my interest in wearing heels. I think that sums up what comes up for me with this poll. See ya, Larry Life is short... Wear the bleeping shoes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
high_55 Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 I voted no because i belive that normal as a 100% doesn't exist, i.e. like 10% of us men like heels, nylons, skirts, etc...so i guess that there are many other philias, as they're called to day, lets say sadist, masoquist, nocrophilic, voayuer, exhibitionist, zoophilic, pedophilic, etc... so, the difference is that in order to recieve some pleasure in exchange for what we like, we must do it openly so others may learn about it, that is what makes us feel vulnerable, while doing nothing harmful to any other being. I not saying all other philias are harmful, all i'm trying to express is that as we make public our dependence of something te be happier, or to become all we can be, because if you don't accept yourself, as many of us have been through this process, you just can't take the issue out of your head. Consequently you can't concentrate well enough or focus in other important issues in your life, so you can get the most out of it. I had a long chat with my wife this weekend, she does accept my heeling, as a matter of fact she just bought me a pair of heels, 5 inch heel with 1 inch plattaform, i wear heels freely in my office, my 5 year old daughter already knows i wear them, my son being 3 doesn't quite get it yet. but returning to the opening statement in this paragraph, i told her i needed to go srteetheeling with her, as a common thing, so far we've done two or three times in the past, i myself wearing high heeled boots about 4 inches and jeans, mostly because i need to feel right about myself, that maybe i like wearing something different, but i'm not stealing, lying or killing anyone, as a matter of fact i believe that if you stay inside living a double life, sooner or later it will affect your self esteem, because if you don't feel ok with yourself, there will always be self destructing thoughts about what you like to wear, always giving more credit to others, who most probably haven't even taken the time to know you, and i'm sure that if more men tried high heels, they would become attached to them. sorry i let myself go... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts