Lost That Lovin' Feeling----Again

[JeffB]

I don't know what it, what caused it, nor can I fully explain it, but just like back in the spring, I've lost my interest in wearing heels----again. Haven't been on an outing since mid-October, haven't even opened the boxes I keep my shoes and boots in since then. Like I said, I don't know what could have caused my desire to wane again, life is good and non-hectic, both at home and at work, but I just can't muster up any interest in wearing my heels, it's like my desire just plain went south out of the clear blue, and the thing is, I'm not at all frustrated about it in the slightest. Maybe it's the winter solstice, maybe it's too cold, or perhaps I just don't want to go through everything it takes to go on a high heel outing, that's it's simpler and easier to just throw on my sneakers and sloppy clothes and head on out and just be one of the crowd, if that makes any sense. And while I've continued participating here, though on a haphazard basis, that's pretty much the extent of my high heel interest right now. Perhaps things will change after the holidays, or maybe the switch in my head that turned to the off position will turn itself on tomorrow, or maybe I won't go back to heeling at all, I just don't know. But if, and when things change, you'll all be the first to know.

[BCBG]

That's fine that you don't have the urge to wear heels right now. When you do, you do, but, some night when your not doing anything in particluar, try on a pair and see if you get any special feeling? Take care, Guy:thumbsup:

[shrimper]

JeffB, I think I know what you're talking about. For me its been that as I have come to accept myself more the compulsive urge to wear heels has lessened tremendously. I've noticed that when I'm stressed and feel the need to get away my urges become stronger again. Its like wearing the shoes brings me back to myself. Does that make any sense to you?

[Guest Jezzaboots]

Hi Jeff. I understand what you are going through. About 12 months ago I questioned everything to do with heel wearing following an open and honest discussion with my girlfriend. I felt that it was wrong to wear heels, that this was something a man should not be doing. However, the interest has never swayed and although I no longer get the same feelings that I used to, I have restarted my collection purely because I enjoy the way boots look as an item of fashion and not as a sexual object. I'm still aware that not everyone will accept this and thats why I keep things to myself (except for on here) but when I get the chance to add a gorgeous pair of boots to an outfit I now understand why and that is comforting. My suggestion would be to just look upon your heel wearing through your eyes only. A forum like this is useful but everyone has their own reasons for being here and if you aren't sure about your own feelings, confusion can set it. From time to time wear a pair of heels whether indoor or out and don't question it, just do it. Don't approach it as if you are doing anything different to the norm and if you feel good within yourself you know you need not worry. Best of luck Jez

[Bubba136]

Occasionally, when the the "hunt" or "chase" has been fulfilled and the associated fears conquered, the desire to participate ebbs because "the thrill is gone." I, too, have conquered my fear of wearing heels in public. Now, although I still wear wear woman's shoes esclusively, my daily activities are carried out wearing footware that is less obviously feminine. That is to say, while the brand might be Nine West, Mootsie Tootsies, or Bandolino, their appearance blurs the gender perceptions upon initial sighting. I just enjoy wearing womens shoes and the desire is still there. I frequently wear my higher heel pumps and boots to malls and restaurants. Perhaps a nice pair of Nine West boots with round toes and 1½" heels would serve to keep you "in the mood" ?

[Dr. Shoe]

It comes and it goes... just like my dressing...

[johnieheel]

JeffB; Don't try to think to much into it. Just let it ride and go on about your every day business as usual. It'll come back when it's ready.

[jmc]

I think it has to do with the difficulty of maintaining a passion over a long period of time. At some point the "fever" starts to wane and with it the desire. That's why there are so many "purge and re-stock" threads around here. I have been there too. JeffB, you have mentioned going through this cycle before and you know, perhaps better than most of us, that it is not permanent. Sounds like you just need to take a break.

[Celso999]

From my experience, it is a question of having conquered the challenges one establishes for himself. If you, dear friend, have successfully defied society using 5 inches pointy stilletos everywhere, in front of everybody, there's nothing more to do in this area - there's no more "thrill" to it. That has happened to me, in respect to 3.1/2 in. block heels. My first outings were full of adrenaline. Nowadays I can use them anywhere as just another shoe like all the others. I came to the conclusion that it is only a mind game we play with ourselves. Best Regards, Celso

[tallguyinheels]

JeffB... I understand. It's a lot more work to wear heels - emotionally, physically and logistically. Sure I feel great in the heels, walking tall and in posture, but I have to switch my pants - wearing longer ones, and in general, upgrade my style a bit. w/o heels I can be more relaxed, and go about all my daily business. I have started only switching to "heel wearing mode" when the fancy strikes me, usually shopping or doing mundane errands. Just a note, my most recent pair of pants is a bit narrower at the bottom so the heels are pretty much apparent at all times - unless I'm standing perfectly still. But, I still receive zero comments, even though many now seem to notice. One of these days, I'll go with the heels in full view...

[Thighboots2]

JeffB,

I understand where you are. I think we all go through it from time to time. Just don't make the mistake of throwing them all away. It's just far too expensive when the bug bites again, as inevitably it will.

TB2

[crotchboots-m]

yes,by all means just store away your heels. if after a year you dont want to wear then maybe it is gone.

[SandalFan]

I don't know what it, what caused it, nor can I fully explain it, but just like back in the spring, I've lost my interest in wearing heels----again.

You may be experiencing a desire to be physically comfortable instead of trying to be a trend setter. It's why I never wear my heels in public. Getting over the fear of public rejection is one thing. Having to maintain the posture required stay balanced in a pair of heels all day in the first place, I imagine, would be a whole other beast. Frankly, I'd rather not put that much stress on my feet and ankles. I love wearing my stilettos while at home, but I prefer the comfort of my hiking boots when out and about any day of the week, especially on rare occasions when I find myself in a mad dash to get somewhere fast.

[JeffB]

Thanks for all the comments, everyone. I greatly appreciate them. Lots of insightful opinions, all of which I enjoyed reading and will most certainly take to heart. And don't worry, I didn't throw anything away this time since I don't have all that much anyway. Heh!

[JNR]

Ah! To wear or not to wear. That is the question. What ever you decide, please don't stop posting here. You've become an icon (somewhat) over the past couple of years. Especially when you posted pictures of yourself in heels at your work station. Besides, you are by far to interesting person to just disappear (again) from our midst.

[mndnspmp]

Jeff, you are such a pro at this that I hardly feel worthy enough to comment. I find your varying interest to be enlightening. I know that my personal interest in heels changes quite regularly as well. Insights such as this are one reason I have lurked at hhplace for so long. I agree with the others that if it does not cause you undue stress keep whatever supplies you have accumulated. Also, I could not find the reason that you quit wearing heels last time, so this answers that question. As was also already said by others, we hope you stay involved here to some extent since you have so much experience and have such a great attitude. I'm sure others agree that it would be great to have you as an offline friend. Best regards, Pumps and denim.

[Danielinheels]

Jeff, I'm going through a similar type of withdrawal. Are there other external factors that have become more prominent? In my case, working two fairly physically demandng jobs has been a big contributor, but near-equal to that is the fact that I have to take a bit of a trip to get to the one Payless in my area that has my size.

[blackslide]

Well, Jeff you are certainly the hero on this site when it comes to being bold and up front with your heels. I hope you are not wearing MEN"S shoes??? There are many great styles of women's shoes that are more casual. The college kids around here wear heels with white socks and jeans. It is kind of a campy look. I try to wear at least a 2-1/2" heel every time I go out. I have some mocasin type shoes with higher heels that are pretty comfortable and look great. With your boldness, why not wear low cut flats for a change of pace? But please, don't wear men's shoes. How ugly that would be!!!

[Dr. Shoe]

As I said before it comes and goes in waves.

[roniheels]

And there's nothing wrong with taking a break from them. When you eventually start wearing them again, I'll bet the excitement will be back.

[crotchboots-m]

i agree with dr. shoe about it coming in waves. except with me it never really leaves,but intensifies at certain times,almost to an obsessive level. i have to muster all the restraint i can when browsing ebay,etc.