A Big and Overdue Thank You (and That's Love)!

[Gige]

I am not the one to believe that lasting long term change happens overnight but occurs over time even if such is triggered by a single and identifiable event. My very recent travels witnessed an incredible situation that compelled me to express my thanks to many members of this group. Without them and their posts, I would not be writing this message. In order for my story to make some degree of sense, a bit of explanation is needed.

I, like many members of this group, have loved wearing high heels for as long as I can remember.  Since I acquired my first pair of heels as a pre-teen, I have purchased dozens of pairs (shoes and boots) but, admittedly, I have always parted with them as I struggled to come to terms with who I am while never accepting my genderfluidity. There would be times when I had a pair or two on hand but also long durations (years) of when I had none. During those instances where I was without a pair of heels, I was always “shopping” for the next pair of killer heels and when I landed upon those that were a “must have,” I gave in to temptation and purchased them. This repeating pattern continued for decades, both before and after I was married.

Fast forward to 2016 when my wife accepted a job in The Netherlands and we decided to relocate there following such. Sadly, however, a short time later I realized that I was completely shut out of the professional level Dutch job market for many insurmountable reasons. I returned to the United States in mid-2021 to put my work experience and newly obtained Masters degree to work for me. My wife, however, remained and still resides in The Netherlands. Shortly after returning to American soil, I began purchasing heels with the intent of building a “to die for” heel collection. As I began “collecting” new pairs (or at least new to me) the desire to wear them out in public became increasingly difficult to resist. Despite such, however, I was not willing and/or ready to do so, or only do so under very restrictive conditions such as on a cool/cold night on a short walk around my neighborhood.  

I began researching the topic of men wearing high heels in public, and started reading of the stories and experiences of other male members of this group.  I read many posts regarding those first steps and realized that if others can do it, so can I. Thus, in November 2023, I took my first steps out in public while wearing four-inch, block heeled boots. With time and more instances of doing so, I became ever more confident to the point where it is now routine for me to do so, even to the office. I realized that the most important step of this journey was to tell my wife and be completely honest about it. So, a few weeks after my first outing of wearing heels in public, I did so and despite any fears I had, she was fully understanding and comfortable with it. Of course, a few questions were asked (and answered) but no judgement, shock, or disappointment followed. I told her that regardless of what I am wearing and where such may occur, it does not change how I feel about her or why I love her. What I wear or how I express myself is irrelevant to my commitment to our marriage.

This past mid-April, I made my annual spring trek to The Netherlands for a week-long visit. I very much wanted to travel in a pair of heels but as my suitcases were packed with items she needed/wanted and cannot get there, as well as goodies and treats “requested” by our friends, I had very little room for my own clothes. Given this and the normally rotten Dutch weather at this time of the year, all of my clothing had to be practical items – no room for heels of any kind. Likewise, as I had not yet shared a picture of me wearing heels with her, I felt I should show her pictures before she actually saw me in heels so as avoid any shock/surprise on her part. She had seen me with polished fingernails and my ears double pierced during our weekly video chats.

During my stay, I showed my wife several pictures of me wearing heels as part of a work outfit, and told her that I had also recently attended drag events and wore heels to them. Given that my wife and I have the exact same shoe size, I asked if she had any pairs of heels with which she was willing to part. I specifically asked about two pairs of ankle boots I knew she seldomly (if ever) wore and if I could take them with me. She promised me that before I began my trek back to the U.S., she would allow me to “raid” her shoe closet and take any pair of heels that she did not routinely wear. So, on the last evening of my visit, we went through her shoe collection (probably over 100 pairs) and I identified the two pairs that I would love to bring home with me. One request met with little resistance but I had to promise her that if she wanted the other pair returned, I would do so at the next instance we were together. Well, six pairs of heels latter, some of which have yet to be worn, others only worn once, and some at her suggestion, I am returning home with an expanded collection. Not only that, but I also have a hot new leather skirt as well; I told her in a highly excited voice that the skirt will be worn for our anniversary dinner this coming Halloween. My wife did mention that she loved my work outfits.

The point to all of this is that if other members of this group/forum did not write/post about the first time they headed out in public while wearing a pair of heels, I doubt I would have ever had the courage, motivation, and inspiration to do so myself. Simply reading about how the other members of this group/forum did so and what they felt before, during, and after doing so, was what I needed to let me know that my wearing of heels out in public will not cause the world to come to an end. I had always believed that my wearing heels out in public would never occur but now, however, I probably wear heels out in public more often than any other footwear.

Thus, to every member who wrote his about his first experience wearing high heels in public, I offer you my deepest and sincerest heartfelt thanks! If this story does not convey the fact that true love is greater than and blind to what we wear on our feet, hips, or torso, then I do not know what is. 

[mlroseplant]

I am not sure how I missed this post for nearly a week, but evidently I did. Thanks for sharing your story.

[Jkrenzer]

Great story and congratulations on having such a lovely wife. Must be hard to be separated so much.

Smart looking boots too.

[Gige]

3 hours ago, mlroseplant said:

I am not sure how I missed this post for nearly a week, but evidently I did. Thanks for sharing your story.

It needed Moderator approval before being available for all members to read. Thanks for the comments!

3 hours ago, Jkrenzer said:

Great story and congratulations on having such a lovely wife. Must be hard to be separated so much.

Smart looking boots too.

Thanks! Yes, the separation is hard but with technology being what it is, we still communicate everyday about this and that, or whatever the latest/pressing issue du jour may be that needs to be addressed.  

With respect to the heels...they are all lovely but some of them are rather tall, perhaps not completely suitable for the office. I prefer wearing ankle boots over pumps because they fit better and my office is usually overly air conditioned to the point where even during the summer, some staff members are using space heaters and electric blankets to keep warm. I often joke that my employer keeps the temperature so "cold" because it is a storehouse for meat carcasses. I think that, as a result, my feet would freeze if wearing pumps and I would contract hypothermia during the summer!  

These are some of the other heels with which I happened to bring back to the states with me. The green and brown heels are from Miz Moos while the red heels are from Noe - Antwerp. The latter are Italian leather and are very well made, but very expensive - I have black and blue on order. That which I like most about Noe is the variety of colors as they have, for example, several shades of blue and red available. These are the boots I promised I would return to my wife if she wanted them back at some point in the future. 

Edited April 29 by Gige
Additional pictures and information, corrected a typo.

[Shyheels]

I’m so pleased it all worked out so well for you - and also that you have such a sympathetic wife. A nice story with a happy ending 

[Cali]

My first heel I ever wore out in public was a shootie like this one.

3 hours ago, Gige said:

Acquired from my first wife's closet around 1979.  I needed a pair of dress shoes for a wedding.

Wore them until 1998 when they wore out.

Good luck with your heeling.

Edited April 29 by Cali

[Jkrenzer]

My wife and I are the same size, but alas I am and always have the high heel wearer in my house. 

My work place is good thermally so it's stiletto pumps for me.

[pebblesf]

On 4/23/2024 at 7:43 PM, Gige said:

I am not the one to believe that lasting long term change happens overnight but occurs over time even if such is triggered by a single and identifiable event. My very recent travels witnessed an incredible situation that compelled me to express my thanks to many members of this group. Without them and their posts, I would not be writing this message. In order for my story to make some degree of sense, a bit of explanation is needed.

I, like many members of this group, have loved wearing high heels for as long as I can remember.  Since I acquired my first pair of heels as a pre-teen, I have purchased dozens of pairs (shoes and boots) but, admittedly, I have always parted with them as I struggled to come to terms with who I am while never accepting my genderfluidity. There would be times when I had a pair or two on hand but also long durations (years) of when I had none. During those instances where I was without a pair of heels, I was always “shopping” for the next pair of killer heels and when I landed upon those that were a “must have,” I gave in to temptation and purchased them. This repeating pattern continued for decades, both before and after I was married.

Fast forward to 2016 when my wife accepted a job in The Netherlands and we decided to relocate there following such. Sadly, however, a short time later I realized that I was completely shut out of the professional level Dutch job market for many insurmountable reasons. I returned to the United States in mid-2021 to put my work experience and newly obtained Masters degree to work for me. My wife, however, remained and still resides in The Netherlands. Shortly after returning to American soil, I began purchasing heels with the intent of building a “to die for” heel collection. As I began “collecting” new pairs (or at least new to me) the desire to wear them out in public became increasingly difficult to resist. Despite such, however, I was not willing and/or ready to do so, or only do so under very restrictive conditions such as on a cool/cold night on a short walk around my neighborhood.  

I began researching the topic of men wearing high heels in public, and started reading of the stories and experiences of other male members of this group.  I read many posts regarding those first steps and realized that if others can do it, so can I. Thus, in November 2023, I took my first steps out in public while wearing four-inch, block heeled boots. With time and more instances of doing so, I became ever more confident to the point where it is now routine for me to do so, even to the office. I realized that the most important step of this journey was to tell my wife and be completely honest about it. So, a few weeks after my first outing of wearing heels in public, I did so and despite any fears I had, she was fully understanding and comfortable with it. Of course, a few questions were asked (and answered) but no judgement, shock, or disappointment followed. I told her that regardless of what I am wearing and where such may occur, it does not change how I feel about her or why I love her. What I wear or how I express myself is irrelevant to my commitment to our marriage.

This past mid-April, I made my annual spring trek to The Netherlands for a week-long visit. I very much wanted to travel in a pair of heels but as my suitcases were packed with items she needed/wanted and cannot get there, as well as goodies and treats “requested” by our friends, I had very little room for my own clothes. Given this and the normally rotten Dutch weather at this time of the year, all of my clothing had to be practical items – no room for heels of any kind. Likewise, as I had not yet shared a picture of me wearing heels with her, I felt I should show her pictures before she actually saw me in heels so as avoid any shock/surprise on her part. She had seen me with polished fingernails and my ears double pierced during our weekly video chats.

During my stay, I showed my wife several pictures of me wearing heels as part of a work outfit, and told her that I had also recently attended drag events and wore heels to them. Given that my wife and I have the exact same shoe size, I asked if she had any pairs of heels with which she was willing to part. I specifically asked about two pairs of ankle boots I knew she seldomly (if ever) wore and if I could take them with me. She promised me that before I began my trek back to the U.S., she would allow me to “raid” her shoe closet and take any pair of heels that she did not routinely wear. So, on the last evening of my visit, we went through her shoe collection (probably over 100 pairs) and I identified the two pairs that I would love to bring home with me. One request met with little resistance but I had to promise her that if she wanted the other pair returned, I would do so at the next instance we were together. Well, six pairs of heels latter, some of which have yet to be worn, others only worn once, and some at her suggestion, I am returning home with an expanded collection. Not only that, but I also have a hot new leather skirt as well; I told her in a highly excited voice that the skirt will be worn for our anniversary dinner this coming Halloween. My wife did mention that she loved my work outfits.

The point to all of this is that if other members of this group/forum did not write/post about the first time they headed out in public while wearing a pair of heels, I doubt I would have ever had the courage, motivation, and inspiration to do so myself. Simply reading about how the other members of this group/forum did so and what they felt before, during, and after doing so, was what I needed to let me know that my wearing of heels out in public will not cause the world to come to an end. I had always believed that my wearing heels out in public would never occur but now, however, I probably wear heels out in public more often than any other footwear.

Thus, to every member who wrote his about his first experience wearing high heels in public, I offer you my deepest and sincerest heartfelt thanks! If this story does not convey the fact that true love is greater than and blind to what we wear on our feet, hips, or torso, then I do not know what is. 

So happy for you Gige!  Your wife sounds like a wonderful woman indeed, secure in your relationship, and wants you to be happy.  Take good care of her buddy!  Glad you are hear with us, glad I found HHP so many years ago as well...  

[Mr. X]

Great story!  Welcome to the club!

[HappyinHeels]

Glad to hear the collective value of members’ heel-wearing experiences inspired you to take that first step outside. As I’ve said before, but it is worth repeating, the world is utterly neutral towards you but will look approvingly upon anyone who exudes confidence. Thanks for placing your trust in the community here. It validates the site. HinH