Correctly Representing The Men In Heels Community

[Sangue16]

Hi everyone, as some of you know I have a blog on flexibility and pole fitness.

One of the growing trends is men trying out pole fitness--one of my pole friends has a blog called A Man Who Pole Dances even. He has even tried out the "pole heels" (referred to a lot on this site as "stripper heels") of the tall-platform-and-heel variety. Of course, I immediately thought of all the neat guys who rock heels too. I want to make a post about men who wear heels from the point of view of a woman who wears heels and thinks men in heels rock.

So I was thinking there might be some preconceived notions other than the obvious (supposedly almost no men wear heels, men who wear heels are "deviant," only gay men wear heels ) I should avoid. Or maybe some of you might have items you would like to see included?

So far I don't have a set topic except to address that men are changing clothing stereotypes in pole fitness and in heels and I am definitely open to all suggestions

xo Sangue

[ilikekicks]

My suggestions are to just be ' real '. - Its a pair of shoes. Its not someones gender or sexuality being questioned. - Men are on poles doing these exercises or dancing. Women do the same. Why not the same footwear? If it works well for one.. something is obviously ' correct ' in the math/practicality. - I say this and Im sure it will make some laugh BUT!!!! If a guy is going to get into a predominantly ' woman ' sport/exercise/activity.. ' pole dancing '.. I think the last thing to worry about is the shoes and more about the individuals capability of doing the task then what they are wearing. Cheers! -Ilk

[wood&metal]

The only preconcieved notion I have is that I would probably hurt myself if I tried it...

[chrisinkilts]

The only preconcieved notion I have is that I would probably hurt myself if I tried it...

Hear! Hear! Pole dancing is a terrifying thought.

[Amanda]

a blog called A Man Who Pole Dances

It's very nicely written Sangue, I like it.

[Aglo]

Hmm . . . , you want fitness: get your trainers on and jog/run around your locality. No expensive gyms or equipment, fresh air, good scenery or lots of interesting things to pass by. Put your heels on and sit down or move softly when socialising.

[Heelster]

Hmm . . . , you want fitness: get your trainers on and jog/run around your locality. No expensive gyms or equipment, fresh air, good scenery or lots of interesting things to pass by. Put your heels on and sit down or move softly when socialising.

That's all well and good if your knees can handle it. I could ride a bike for a lot of miles, but if I were to try a 1 mile run, I'm done for the week.

Pole dancing means you don't have to run/ride on roads where drivers are not that careful. My road is a back country road that consists of 11' of asphalt if that, and that's for two lanes. Better to pole dance

[Sangue16]

Thank you for all the great feedback! Most people assume pole dancing is easy and I was not wrong to think my hhplacers are more thoughtful! Amanda I could see you doing my sort of pole, with a very elegant ballerina-eque costume or something a figure skater would perform in. I don't pole in heels which is funny because I even check the mail and clean up the yard in heels LOL. ilikekicks, I will go with treating shoes as just a clothing statement as you described. Simple and elegant! xo Sangue

[Amanda]

Amanda I could see you doing my sort of pole, with a very elegant ballerina-eque costume or something a figure skater would perform in. I don't pole in heels which is funny because I even check the mail and clean up the yard in heels LOL.

Lol at the yard and the mail.

Ballet, you guessed right I still do a ballet work out and even have a bar but haven't seriously danced for a long time now. Not Ballet anyway. I Tango Argentino with a passion these days. In the yard if need be.

[meganiwish]

. I Tango Argentino with a passion these days. In the yard if need be.

You could even tango down to the shop for bread and milk. Better than running, and no need for nasty trainers.

[Shafted]

I'm still trying to make the connection between the content of this thread and the title of it.

[manluvheels]

I'm still trying to make the connection between the content of this thread and the title of it.

I suspect that the pole dancer's hands slipped and they went astray - much like some threads do

Male pole dancing for fitness is an Interesting concept though. The one lady I have seen doing it was a UK champion and was stunningly impressive in what she could do and superbly toned.

[Stilletto2004]

I even check the mail and clean up the yard in heels LOL.

xo Sangue

Ha! Me too!

[Rick24]

for me I have to wear heels at home when nobody is around, men like me have to feel fear and shame sangue16. I am just a man that wears shoes. I hate society for the way it is.

[Steve63130]

I'm in heels when I just ask my wife to check the mail and clean up the yard. (I could get my head handed to me one of these days...) :-) Steve

[HappyinHeels]

Sangue16,

I'm not sure about the pole-dancing tangent but as to the title of the thread; If you want to know how to properly represent the community of men wearing heels around the world I would sum it up with two words that are our guideposts: EQUALITY + DIGNITY. Men wearing heels as a part of their normal warddrobe want the same kind of equality afforded women in their fashion choices. They want to do this and enjoy their lives with the same kind of basic dignity that all human beings should be afforded without being categorized. We do not want SPECIAL rights just EQUAL ones. Men, and women, may wear heels for various reasons but those reasons are personal. The only important reason they wear them that is worth discussing, and providing positive feedback, is that wearing them makes that particular person feel really good. When you feel really good then you exude confidence and the wold notices, and respects, those that exude confidence. It's really that simple. CONFIDENCE DISPLAYED + DIGNITY RECEIVED = HAPPINESS ACHIEVED.

I hope this is what you were looking for. HappyinHeels

[Jimnj3]

HappyinHeels, Very nice and perfectly said!! Totally agree. Jim

[meganiwish]

Sangue16,

Men [...] want the same kind of equality afforded women . . . . We do not want SPECIAL rights just EQUAL ones.

I wonder if I was the only woman to raise a wry smile at these phrases. (Sorry, HappyinHeels, I know I'm quoting you out of context, but bear with me.) Then I read back and found Rick24's rather plaintive post

for me I have to wear heels at home when nobody is around, men like me have to feel fear and shame sangue16. I am just a man that wears shoes. I hate society for the way it is.

You're right, we don't necessarily face it alone, so I feel for you, you poor chap. I don't know your circumstances, but I do know it can be a brutal world for anyone who doesn't fit in. Fear is often a natural response. Shame, though, is an internal thing. Be proud of who you are. If you let yourself feel ashamed you just give ammunition to those who hate. That's how to change society.

To quote the end of the film The Mission:

"We must live in the world. The world is thus."

"No, thus have we made the world."

[Amanda]

I don't know your circumstances, but I do know it can be a brutal world for anyone who doesn't fit in. Fear is often a natural response. Shame, though, is an internal thing. Be proud of who you are. If you let yourself feel ashamed you just give ammunition to those who hate. That's how to change society.

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[Steve63130]

Happy and Megan - very eloquent comments. Thank you. Steve

[Rick24]

thank you meganiwish for understanding. I would shake your hand.

[Histiletto]

There have been only a few influencial people who have helped change attitudes for a better society on a world stage. However, these type of changes are usually completed after those of influence were gone from this life and their example becomes noted by others as worthy enough to follow and share. No one can expect to change anything or anyone until they have first set the example and live the ideals they hold dear. Even then change is a hard thing to happen, until others see and glean the good that could be missed or wasted by not becoming a part of and/or doing the same. Even when men were the noted wearers of high heels, such fashion was accepted by only a relatively few participants throughout the world. The cost, availability, and practicality were major factors for this status. Actually, good tailored shoes of any kind were not available until after the end of the (Dark) Middle Ages in our world's history. It was even after the time men had become the main heelers when shoes began to be cobbled to fit only the right or left foot. So high heels as we wear them today are fairly new to this world stage and the ownership that women seem to flaunt doesn't have historical backing. In fact, being as heels are desired and worn by men today gives them just as strong a position in the men's wardrobe.

[Steve63130]

...So high heels as we wear them today are fairly new to this world stage and the ownership that women seem to flaunt doesn't have historical backing. In fact, being as heels are desired and worn by men today gives them just as strong a position in the men's wardrobe.

Histiletto,

You know that and I know that and the others here know that, but there are billions of people in the world that are clueless about it.

Steve

[HappyinHeels]

EDucation sometimes can be akin to watching a glacier move.....lots of patience and time. We have the time but do we have the patience to see it through?? HiStiletto made, as always his Shakespearean-like delivers, a great point about the cycle of change and just how long it takes to see meaningful change in the world. I believe anything that stirs the soul to rise for a just cause is a deed worth doing. HappyinHeels

[malinheels]

The world has changed & continues to change daily , when i was a young lad of 13 or 14 years of age and i realized i had a infatuation with high heeled shoes i never dreamed that i as a guy would be able to wear those wonderful stiletto heeled shoes in public. Well guess what ?? as of about ten or twelve years ago i started doing just that, wearing heels in public , and i've had positive comments from both males & females regarding my choice of footwear, i've also had a couple of negative comments but i could count those on 1 hand I have said before on threads here at HHP that i usually wear a skirt & stockings with my heels and am wearing mens shirts, ties & jackets and am regularly complimented on how well dressed & co ordinated i look ( generally by females) so the world has changed!! I probably could not have done that in the 60s but today & twelve years back YES I CAN & SO CAN YOU IF YOU WANT TO The world is ready to accept you as you are Now off my high horse Happy high heeling Malinheels

[Histiletto]

Histiletto,

You know that and I know that and the others here know that, but there are billions of people in the world that are clueless about it. Steve

Thanks! Steve, for this chance to emphasize our position to the world. And now the clueless billions can read this and the other threads like it, for this is on the internet. Being clueless doesn't necessarily mean they have nothing they want to know about. They may just be heelers who want to find connections. Shakespear may have penned more eloquently though and you aren't far behind him either, but again I appreciate the gesture, HappyInHeels!

Malinheels,

In hearing your post and other great things about Australia, has given me a greater incentive to visit your land down under, someday.

[Steve63130]

Histiletto, My wife and I have been to Australia 7 times in the past 12 years. It's a wonderful country, with wonderful people, and they love Americans. Do go there. You will love it. We have many friends there and we can't wait to go back. Probably in 2014. Yes it's expensive and takes a long time to get there, but it's very much worth it. Steve