toby Posted July 17, 2011 Posted July 17, 2011 Hi everyone. I think I may be in an unusual position regarding my love of heels. My wife doesn't like wearing highheels as she says they are uncomfortable. At most she'll wear heels for a few minutes before taking them off and putting on flats. Over the years she has bought a total of 3 pairs of high heels compared with dozens of flats. Oh and yes she does know that I have a thing about heels. At this point I guess my story is similar to many but it does have a possible twist in it though. I have the same foot size as my wife - a UK size 7. (Yes I have small feet.) That's recently, very recently, opened up the possibility for me to wear my wife's heels, which I'm doing albeit secretively, along with shaving my legs from the knee down. At this point not even my wife knows I wear her heels. I guess what I now need to work on are a few things - encouraging her to wear her heels; buying her (or me) more; building up my confidence to tell her and wear them more often. Has anyone else a similar experience? If people want I'll try and take some photos, although apologies in advance as my photographic skills are poor.
Majo Posted July 17, 2011 Posted July 17, 2011 That's a difficult situation, Toby. I talked about it with my girlfriend -now wife for 22 years- before married. I would love to have your situation! It would be much cheaper, and there would be no explanations or closed chests at home. She likes heels, and she likes shoes; but she wont push over 9cm (3.5") as we have 4cm difference in hight and she doesn't like being taller than me. I've tried her shoes many times but they don't fit adequately so they can get stretched and will be no use afterwards. Any way: I think you should address the situation before you get a big snow ball going down the hill. The only thing that can build long term relationships is communication. Talk about it: you have nothing loose and a lot to gain. Cheers
roniheels Posted July 17, 2011 Posted July 17, 2011 toby, My female friend only wears high heels at formal events and she carries ballet slippers with her to those events and eventually changes into them at those events. You can encourage your wife, even tell her how beautiful and sexy she looks in high heels, but if she doesn't like or want to wear them, she won't. I don't know how many years you two have been married, but it's not worth disrupting a marriage over something like this. Now your other dilemma also will not be easy to resolve. I have preached many times in many posts that honesty is still the best policy. You don't want to drop a bombshell on her about your enjoyment of wearing high heels. But you should discuss your feelings about high heels with her, lead up to your desires, and then discuss her reactions to your conversations. Best of luck to both you and your wife.
Shafted Posted July 17, 2011 Posted July 17, 2011 Okay toby, for starters, don't wear your wife's shoes with out her permission. It's just wrong. Trust me, you may have the same size but it is unlikely you have exactly the same foot proportions as her. Everyone is slightly different. If you have been wearing them much she will be able to tell as the shoes may fit her differently than she remembers. beaztheelz, what on earth does satisfying her sexually have to do with it? It may seem like it has a lot to do with it from your point of view, but I doubt she'll figure that into her equation concerning heels. Shafted, the boots that is! View my gallery here http://www.hhplace.o...afteds-gallery/ or view my heeling thread here http://www.hhplace.org/topic/3850-new-pair-of-boots-starts-me-serious-street-heeling/ - Pm me if you want fashion advice or just need someone to talk to.
Histiletto Posted July 17, 2011 Posted July 17, 2011 We talk about heels as if height is the only important reason people choose to wear them. Granted, I love stilettos and some that I have are considered extremely high, but footwear can be just as luxurious and elegant when they are flats or low heeled. I remember a comercial by Espirit Shoes where all the players (women, of course) were engaged in a basketball activity wearing low to mid heeled pumps. They were stunning to watch in the brief moment of the television ad. When I see a girl in mid high heels, it has always been hard to take my eyes away from seeing such grace and beauty. Those of us that only prefer height in our heels shouldn't push our preferences onto others, especially when we already know their sentiments to wearing shoes(heels) with hardly any noted height. By the way, I would've loved to see all basketball games, men's and women's wearing those Espirit pumps. How about that for a fantasy? Then again, I want the choice of heels available to everyone that desires to wear them, similar to the way sports shoes and flip-flops have been adopted. I know this concept is hard to see happening right now, but it is not impossible. I have even pictured all the members of the church that I attend wearing various heels according to their physique. It has been said that if a person can realisticly and logically figure out something happening in their mind, then it can be implemented in real life. Heeling is so much fun and it is enjoyed by so many that it is hard to believe everyone doesn't take the opportunity to have a pair of their own. Then again, maybe they do, but their social expectations prevent them from public disclosure or exhibit. I certainly will coninue to wear heels, but there is a principle here being violated by the present social attitude. Our right to choose what we want to adorn with, whether the shoes are flats or extemely tall stiletto heels, whatever is the desired color, whether we enjoy cosmetics or jewelry, getting tattooed, and etc.
legs777777 Posted July 17, 2011 Posted July 17, 2011 Only you know your wife, I have a passion for high heels and always have, but now my wife has decided under no circumstances will she wear heels, this then lead to me being stubborn with her making for a difficult situation, dont end up down the same route as I have, the divorce word has been mentioned due to my obsession with high heels, matters were made worse with an affair with my boss at work in the post dangereous affair. Tread carefully where you go next if you value your wife. If you do decide to tell her please remember to hide all sharp objects, just in case, my wife has a eruptive temper.
toby Posted July 18, 2011 Author Posted July 18, 2011 Thanks everyone for both your advice and support - it's appreciated! After thinking about the advice I'm inclined towards Majo and Roni's words - it's probably a case of finding an appropriate time. That should not be too difficult as we tend to discuss things generally, it's probably more a case of me taking the bull by the horns. Beaz - possibly although I'm more inclined to Kossitch's interpretation and understand Hhboots' reaction. Legs - I'm lucky as she hasn't a temper like yours. Hope things work out for you as well. Thanks everyone - appreciate it! Histiletto - agree. Shafted - yes you're right. I've only done it twice and briefly so I'll stop now before it becomes a habit.
jay jay Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 Hi there Toby. There I am very lucky, my wife and I wear the same size shoe a UK 8 and I have her permission to wear any of her shoes, she wear heels out as long as she is not taller than me with shoes on, so I go up to a 4 1/2" pair of boots that I wear out on a regular basis with her We have about 55 pairs of different type of shoes,eg Drop Dead, Iron Fist,Pleasers, Zoom, Aldo and Rage and various other brands. We go out and buy shoes for us together, she tries them on and if they are comfortable and I like them we buy them. I tried to post some a while ago but they were only from the knee down, and got deleted. Jay Jay:wavey:
legs777777 Posted July 18, 2011 Posted July 18, 2011 Good luck then toby, hope every thing works out for you.
vector Posted July 19, 2011 Posted July 19, 2011 Toby, If your wife doesn't like or want to wear heels, then I'd leave it alone. You can't make anyone do something they don't want to do. And trying to force it on her will only cause problems. Buy your own heels! Does she know you like to wear them? If she doesn't, that could cause problems (trust related) in your relationship. Good luck.
CRabbit Posted July 19, 2011 Posted July 19, 2011 @Toby It was a while ago when I dropped the 'I like to wear high heels' bombshell on my missus. I was a closet heeler, kept the secret for years before meeting her and it took years to tell her. We were married and expecting our first child when I told her - it didn't go down well. Unfortunately the result of a long, heated discussion which questioned my sexuality, our future, desires to be a father and all other manner of craziness that spanned weeks was the "It's me or the shoes" ultimatum. Many others here have been given similar responses so I'm led to believe and it's heartbreaking to hear it. My only tips would be: Your with your missus for a reason. Keep that in mind if she reacts negatively towards your desire to heel. If required, emphasize that it doesn't change who you are - it's only shoes, not an affair. Remind her that you still love her and for what reasons you do and that high heels have not (and will not) change that. I would personally not tell her you've worn her heels. That could be taken as a violation of personal space on top of the violation of trust in the relationship. It might compound the situation so leave that little confession for the off chance that she does act positively to this revelation. Ultimately though, everything I've said is based on my experience with this and can be taken with as many pinches of salt as required. I wish you all the luck in the world and hope you get a positive result from 'the chat'. Chris
djanssen Posted July 19, 2011 Posted July 19, 2011 My wife and I have crossed this bridge successfully. There is balance with us. I have much larger feet than she does, so I obviously have my own heels, the first pair of which she bought me. Granted my wife is pretty open minded, and in all actuality the initial suggestion was hers in a round about way, but the bottom line of our situation is communication. Communication and Honesty... it's been said a hundred times before, but without those two things in any relationship, you're doomed.
Steve63130 Posted July 19, 2011 Posted July 19, 2011 There is good advice here. I'll add one more item. Consider your wife's level of security or rather, insecurity. If she were totally secure, she'd brush it off and tell you to wear anything you want on your feet. Most women fear the unknown. "What will my friends say if they knew you like high heels?" "Will somebody commit a hate crime and beat you up?" "Will people laugh at you/us?" and of course, "Are you gay or do you want a sex change?" You know your wife best. If she's the least bit insecure, you need to keep that foremost in mind and pitch your discussion accordingly. I told my wife about my heeling about 4 years after we were married. I was nervous, but insisted on telling her "something important." After I showed her my stash, she basically said, "Is that all? I thought you were going to tell me you were having an affair or wanted a divorce." I breathed a sigh of relief! But she did say that although I could wear whatever I wanted in the house, she didn't want to see it. It took me 20 years to push the envelope slowly to the point where she's ok with me wearing heels in front of her. The main thing all during that time was to continue letting her know that I loved her, that I really was grateful for her understanding and letting me wear heels, and that I was trustworthy and true to her. Her insecurity evaporated and I got to wear what I wanted. We've been married 36 years (so far!). Steve
Steve63130 Posted July 20, 2011 Posted July 20, 2011 W6ISH, I don't understand your comment. Was it directed at me in response to my post? Steve
Majo Posted July 20, 2011 Posted July 20, 2011 I hope I can second you, Steve; we only have 22 years yet.
toby Posted July 29, 2011 Author Posted July 29, 2011 Hi all, first thanks again for both the advice and support - it's very much appreciated. Apologies for the delay in replying - I was away for a brief holiday. Anyway an update... Whilst out for a meal I noticed a guy wearing some heels and mentioned it to my wife. We talked about it later and she asked me what I thought. I told her that I liked the idea of wearing heels as well as looking at them. After a short discussion about my sexuality she said she was happy for me to wear them in private although she's unsure as to why I like both looking at and wearing them. We intended to have a chat about that soon though. The conversation moved on to her suggesting that I try hers but I suggested that it might be better if I got my own. As a consequence she agreed to helping me buy a few pairs of heels for my self. She likes one pair that I chose so much though that she's claimed those for herself. I may have to get a second pair. Thank you ll again for your help, support and advice!
CRabbit Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 Excellent! I can't tell you how happy I am for you! I wish you and your partner all the luck in the world and hope this leads on to many high (heeled) experiences together! Chris
at9 Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 ... Whilst out for a meal I noticed a guy wearing some heels and mentioned it to my wife..... I wonder if the other gent was one of us here at HHP. Congratulations on an excellent outcome.
Shafted Posted July 29, 2011 Posted July 29, 2011 Great news toby! The situation where you eluded to your liking of desire to wear heels was pure serendipity. Shafted, the boots that is! View my gallery here http://www.hhplace.o...afteds-gallery/ or view my heeling thread here http://www.hhplace.org/topic/3850-new-pair-of-boots-starts-me-serious-street-heeling/ - Pm me if you want fashion advice or just need someone to talk to.
Majo Posted July 30, 2011 Posted July 30, 2011 The conversation moved on to her suggesting that I try hers but I suggested that it might be better if I got my own. As a consequence she agreed to helping me buy a few pairs of heels for my self. She likes one pair that I chose so much though that she's claimed those for herself. I may have to get a second pair. Great, Toby! Wonderful news, man. Keep us posted on what you two do!
toby Posted July 31, 2011 Author Posted July 31, 2011 As promised a few photos. Sorry about the quality. http://i1226.photobucket.com/albums/ee416/tobymiro/IMG_3692.jpg http://i1226.photobucket.com/albums/ee416/tobymiro/IMG_3696.jpg http://i1226.photobucket.com/albums/ee416/tobymiro/IMG_3689.jpg
partyshoes Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 The red ones are way out of my league Toby but love the black ones. Congratulations on the positive outcome of the discussion with your wife. I told mine and went pretty much down the same path - are you gay - NO, do you want a sex change - NO.. are you a cross dressers - No. It ended with her going Ok, what you in in private in your business but I dont want to know (or sort of dont ask dont tell agreement). Ultimately its better that you dont hide anything and it sounds like you have a very understanding wife - especially if she offered to share her shoes. Gingers Rogers did everything Fred Astair did .. but backwards and in heels
legs777777 Posted August 1, 2011 Posted August 1, 2011 Love the pictures, especialy the red ones, I used to have a pair like that.
ShockQueen Posted August 2, 2011 Posted August 2, 2011 I really like the first two pairs, as they could be worn out easily! Congrats on the outcome! SQ.....still busting societal molds with a smile...and a 50-ton sledge!
icemanfiveoh Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 The red ones are killer! i wish i could wear these out... Ice
Heelix Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 The black ones are really nice, could we please have some further details?
docs41 Posted September 14, 2011 Posted September 14, 2011 They're all hot, especially the red ones. If the shoe fits-buy it!!!!!!
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