Daisuki Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 I would, but it seems I can't! I seem to be more conflicted about this than most on the board as my mood and desire of them can swing quite widely. I've bounced in and out of them dozens of times over the past 7+ years, with no end in sight it seems. But should I give up? Maybe that's just not how I'm wired. Maybe a better question is whether I can give up pump stilettos, but as I'm wearing a pair while typing this, perhaps not! I was doing quite "well" as I hadn't worn any since last May I think (until last Thursday). I have been wearing wedges and flats for most of the time since then and they can go to some lengths to satiate me, but I've just seen too many great stilettos "in the wild" of late to continue resisting. Just standing in line at lunch today, the lady in front of me and the 2 behind me where all wearing stilettos. I kinda wished that I could have joined them, but I probably would have collapsed on the spot from nerves! However, I also believe that my desire for pumps/heels, etc., prevents me from engaging in a "normal" relationship with a woman. After I bought this latest pair, I could just hear it in the back of my head after I closed out communications with someone on an online dating service. I had the thought of, "I'm closing this match to pursue a relationship with a pair of shoes." How sad does that sound?! So, yes, I think I would if I could, but if I could turn this off, what would replace it? Besides, I love to look at women wearing them. Can I turn that off too? I think my problems run deeper than heeling/women's shoes and that I just fight this battle to avoid solving my real issues. Whew! There's some high-heeled philosophy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClosetHeels Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 Would I quit heeling if I could? I have to say yes to this, if only for the reason that I hate myself for having to hide this from my family. Years ago, both my parents knew about it, and they did their best to convince me that I was a sick child, that I should never wear female clothing or shoes. Several times they found my things and threw them away, always with a lecture about how bad I was. After I moved out on my own, I began to grow my collection again, well hidden from my parents, when they came over. And then I met my wife, she had so many wonderful shoes, but sadly, she is a size 5.5 to a 6. She wore heels all the time, and I loved her for that. But now with her diabetics, and her foot problems, she only can wear flats or sneakers. This is still OK, because I have bought her several nice pairs of flats that I like to see her wear. Since my daughter was born 20 years ago, I have purged my collection 3 times. And each time I start over, it has grown larger than before. My last purge was 3 years ago. I had about 25 pairs of shoes and boots, and I threw them all into a dumpster and walked away. Less that a year later, I found myself wanting to feel my foot in a boot again, and started buying again. I currently have over 50 pairs, and I wear at least one of them everyday, either during the day on my day off while the wife is working, and the daughter is in school, or at night after thay go to bed, such as now. I can't see myself quitting anytime soon, but if I could, and not reqret it again, I would. But for now I will enjoy it. Than you for reading my story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tiffany Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 Daisuki don't be put off by one experience you've had. There are several women out there that don't mind a guy wearing heels! Your desire for heels won't always drive women away. There are open minded women and there are close minded ones. You just have to find one that can look beyond your preference in shoes. One thing I do recommend, from reading stories within the crossdressing community, is that you keep being honest with your future partners about it. Just don't forget there is absolutely nothing wrong with what you are doing! You are just wearing a piece of clothing that you like. That is it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dblair Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 OK, this is not directed at any particular post or individual, but Wow! I am shocked at how many members in this thread see their love of heels as something shameful and self-destructive, like a gambling or alcohol addiction. I guess, if it were a situation where you are driving yourself into financial ruin from buying too-many shoes, then I would understand that you maybe have a problem...but not for simply enjoying to wear heels. If a guy looses the girl of his dreams because she cannot deal with her boyfriend/husband liking a certain type of footwear, then this is obviously not a solid relationship and would almost certainly be derailed in the future over some other equally petty reason. As for those who have been mis-treated or rejected by their parents for liking to wear heels, I have great sympathy. All I can say is, this is not an example of good parenting on their part. In fact, it is the parents' behavior in this situation that is bizarre, shameful and abnormal. I hope and trust that you will find love and acceptance with others, but you must learn to love and accept yourself first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisuki Posted April 22, 2010 Share Posted April 22, 2010 Well, after about 2 weeks of the Nine West Princess pumps, I think I will be selling them or donating them. I told myself before hand that I would "remember" why I shouldn't have such things around and I certainly do now. I like them so much that it is making everything else seem uninteresting. When I wake up every morning before 5am, wanting to put them on, something just isn't right. I really wish that I could wear them out of purely preference as they are very comfortable, but my mind keeps getting in the way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roniheels Posted April 22, 2010 Share Posted April 22, 2010 Well, after about 2 weeks of the Nine West Princess pumps, I think I will be selling them or donating them. I told myself before hand that I would "remember" why I shouldn't have such things around and I certainly do now. I like them so much that it is making everything else seem uninteresting. When I wake up every morning before 5am, wanting to put them on, something just isn't right. I really wish that I could wear them out of purely preference as they are very comfortable, but my mind keeps getting in the way. Why are you torturing yourself? If you want to wear high heels (especially in private), wear them! If you don't want to wear them, for whatever period of time, put them away and don't wear them until you feel like wearing them again. It seems like you feel this is an evil curse put upon you for wanting to wear them. Your feelings are what many of us here have gone through. As all of have said many times before, they're only shoes. It's not an illness or disease. Don't take it so seriously. If you don't, then don't. If youdo, then do and enjoy it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Histiletto Posted April 22, 2010 Share Posted April 22, 2010 You either have the desire to wear heels or you don't. Favorite colors, food preferences, best car to own are also personal choices. If you let others tell you what, how, and/or when to feel and desire, then you choose to give up a part of your individuality. Society has assumed the authority to make your personal decisions for you so that you will fit the stereotyping they have chosen. This goes against and usurps a person's agency. Each person has their own set of tastes that are unique to that person. Many of these tastes may seem to be the same as others, but the taste are from an individual perspective. In creating the social ideals, society has ignored the fundamental right to choose as each person has the desire to do so for themselves. This action has resulted in being pressured by peers to conform to the expected stereotype. When activities like men's and women's equality is brought to light, society bulks at changing its attitude until there is enough support to make the change from a movement to a lifestyle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisuki Posted April 25, 2010 Share Posted April 25, 2010 Don't take it so seriously. If you don't, then don't. If youdo, then do and enjoy it! It's one of my faults to take small stuff so seriously. Also, something I didn't mention yet. I was looking for a "sign" on Thursday, when one of our marketing reps showed up unexpected, wearing round-toe stilettos. She was just "in the area" and wanted to stop by. I complimented her on her excellent footwear and she is almost as tall as I am with them (and I'm 6'1"). I had already put the Princess Pumps up for sale by the time she showed up, but the listing expired today, with no takers. So, I don't know where the road goes from here, but thank you for trying to make me not feel so bad about myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Griez Posted April 26, 2010 Share Posted April 26, 2010 no cuz, we could nto wear heels if we dont like em anyways thats why we wear it cuz we like it ^^ every human has they own choices... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tech Posted April 26, 2010 Share Posted April 26, 2010 no cuz, we could nto wear heels if we dont like em anyways thats why we wear it cuz we like it ^^ Are you typing this out with your mobile phone? Heels for Men // Legwear Fashion // HHPlace Guidelines If something doesn't look right, please report the content ASAP! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Histiletto Posted May 1, 2010 Share Posted May 1, 2010 Although this question is aimed at male heelers, I'd bet the same answers would be given by female heelers also. Had the circumstances of male heeling continued from the eighteenth century, there is no doubt in my mind, heeling by men and women alike would be common sights in public activities without a second thought. This doesn't mean there wouldn't be those who oppose the wearing of high heels, just as there are some now. The experience of heeling would be another aspect of life couples could share together, instead of it tearing them apart because society's attitude has been brainwashed to be against males wearing stilettos. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba136 Posted May 1, 2010 Share Posted May 1, 2010 Although this question is aimed at male heelers, I'd bet the same answers would be given by female heelers also. Had the circumstances of male heeling continued from the eighteenth century, there is no doubt in my mind, heeling by men and women alike would be common sights in public activities without a second thought. This doesn't mean there wouldn't be those who oppose the wearing of high heels, just as there are some now. The experience of heeling would be another aspect of life couples could share together, instead of it tearing them apart because society's attitude has been brainwashed to be against males wearing stilettos. While there is a lot in what Histiletto says, I believe it would be really difficult to compare attitudes between men and women when it comes to high heels, women's clothing, etc., and which style to wear. Regardless of weather it is then or now. Unlike men, women have always had the luxury of deciding what to wear based on female fashions and styles. The aspect of choosing what to put on, for women, isn't based upon what society dictates or is willing to accept but rather on their personal tastes and preferences. Men, on the other hand, have basically had only two styles of clothing to wear. Dandified or work clothing. Evolution hasn't had much of an effect on work clothing but dandified clothing has morphed into less ostentatious 3 piece dress suitesd (trousers, vest and jackets). Men have work clothes, dress clothes, leisure clothes comprised of shirts, pants (trousers) and jackets, and that's about it. Women, on the other hand, have all manner of "outfits" they can put together to fit their imagination or event. Skirts, dresses, blouses, blue jeans, etc. And, several dozen types and styles of shoes to chose from. So while any man desiring to dress from the female side of the isle, will appear out of place 95% of the time. And, the desire on the male's part to be accepted -- or, not ostracized -- by society, will endeavor to stop wearing female clothing and high heels while the female just has to decide what style and fashion of female garments she wants to wear. Couples already have the aspect of sharing fashion ideas with one another, the success of their "sharing" strictly depends upon the female's acceptance of her male counterpart's desire to wear more flamboyant, and perhaps, female appearing garments. The female's acceptance is just one part of the equation. The other part is "society's" acceptance of the male appearing out in general public so dressed. Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Histiletto Posted May 2, 2010 Share Posted May 2, 2010 Couples already have the aspect of sharing fashion ideas with one another, the success of their "sharing" strictly depends upon the female's acceptance of her male counterpart's desire to wear more flamboyant, and perhaps, female appearing garments. The female's acceptance is just one part of the equation. The other part is "society's" acceptance of the male appearing out in general public so dressed. Due to the social attitude many women have the idea that "real men" don't have the desire to wear or won't wear anything that is considered for females only. So, if a male wears women's jeans and stilettos, he doesn't match up to the stereotype for society's male idol. The jeans, although they fit really good, are still considered a strike against being the ideal man and we already know about the effect of the stilettos upon the social male image. Many women are disillusioned and don't want to deal with the fact of perceiving their mate as less than a total guy along with all the other wedges that life offers to be dealt with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tiffany Posted May 2, 2010 Share Posted May 2, 2010 Due to the social attitude many women have the idea that "real men" don't have the desire to wear or won't wear anything that is considered for females only. So, if a male wears women's jeans and stilettos, he doesn't match up to the stereotype for society's male idol. The jeans, although they fit really good, are still considered a strike against being the ideal man and we already know about the effect of the stilettos upon the social male image. Many women are disillusioned and don't want to deal with the fact of perceiving their mate as less than a total guy along with all the other wedges that life offers to be dealt with. We need to change this way of thinking in the same way that we don't think that "real women" only wear skirts any more. But that's probably going to take some time just like it did for women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Histiletto Posted May 11, 2010 Share Posted May 11, 2010 We need to change this way of thinking in the same way that we don't think that "real women" only wear skirts any more. But that's probably going to take some time just like it did for women. If somehow people would grasp the concept of the right of personal choice that actually belongs to each individual, this change could happen fairly easy. The problem is: too many people have grown up with the attitude of conformity to the present system that usurps the personal rights of an individual to choose what they can wear based on the desires and preferences they have. Getting society to release this dominate hold on our personal rights, may mean that even I would have to get use to unconventional looks like: the multi-colored spiked hair punk attire, the skin head thorned gothic presence, the flower children draped clothing shows, the slicked back grease lightening and form fitting styles, the business suits in colors and textures other than neutral or drab, and/or the combinations of all the afore mentioned with the extra possibilities that will or could eventually find a seed in the mind of the attirer. Then there are the functional threads, that are meant for certain activities like: the swimsuits, the carpenter's overalls, the biker's leathered attire, the laborer's trousers, tank tops, and steel-toed footwear, service uniforms, and etc. that should have been mentioned, but I'll leave it to your discretion or recall. The world would have a different fashion look, but it would be motivated by individual perspectives rather than the fashion mogals, entertainment stars, or some over-priced egos greedily living in luxury while their patrons live in poverty paying for it. There would still be fashion cycles, but maybe the individual could get what they prefer instead of being told what they need and should like, because of someone elses whims or visions. By the way, to get back the subject of this thread, heeling or the wearing of certain footwear has always been within my desire. To quit wearing them would have to be my decision, but it would go against all that I am about: The ability to exercise my personal right to initiate the objective that satisfies the being I am. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thighboots2 Posted May 11, 2010 Share Posted May 11, 2010 Quit heeling, perish the thought. Having done the internal struggle thing, I'm certainly not going to revert. Heels are fun and seeing as we only get one chance at this life, I am going to enjoy as much of it as possible. Simon. Are you confusing me with someone who gives a damn? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hh&c fan Posted September 1, 2010 Share Posted September 1, 2010 Why on earth should you stop heeling?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crotchboots-m Posted September 27, 2010 Share Posted September 27, 2010 why would i want to quit one of the most fun things i have ever done? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PetiteMale Posted September 27, 2010 Share Posted September 27, 2010 No need to quit. Beautiful shoes give you beautiful legs also. And from what I've seen many of you have those beautiful legs wearing heels! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piratubu Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 I would never quit, heels are just plain sexy in every way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba136 Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 After having tried to quit many different times and couldn't, I made myself a promise when I was 17 that I would never, ever try to quit again. And, as of my 54th birthday, I haven't. The second part of my promise to myself was that if I ever found a woman that I really could become serious with, I would tell her about me and my heels before we ever become so entangled that heels would destroy our feeling about each other. Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yozz Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 Very healthy thinking! Y. Raise your voice. Put on some heels. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jay jay Posted September 29, 2010 Share Posted September 29, 2010 Why would I quit, I love it too much. I have about 10 Prs. Would like to buy some more I like your boots would like to get myself a Pair like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heelsrule Posted September 29, 2010 Share Posted September 29, 2010 I got my HB into wearinng heels as joke (he was asking me to wear heels all the time so I bought him some to try and show him up, bum bum). He enjoys and to be honest wears the bigger heels much better than me. But his biggest gripe (and mine is that as womens size 15, there is so little on offer in the general fashion area. His options seem so limited. As such we have only gone out once with him in a pair of Ellies lace ups that didn't fit well around the calf. love Sussie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Histiletto Posted September 29, 2010 Share Posted September 29, 2010 heelsrule, Good for you on insisting that your HB wear heels because of his pressuring you to wear heels for him couldn't be more justified and appropriate. The fact that he now enjoys wearing high heels has opened another fact of life you two can have in common and kind of share in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba136 Posted October 2, 2010 Share Posted October 2, 2010 I got my HB into wearinng heels as joke (he was asking me to wear heels all the time so I bought him some to try and show him up, bum bum). He enjoys and to be honest wears the bigger heels much better than me. But his biggest gripe (and mine is that as womens size 15, there is so little on offer in the general fashion area. His options seem so limited. As such we have only gone out once with him in a pair of Ellies lace ups that didn't fit well around the calf. love Sussie Why not try Sexy shoes? they've several styles of pumps and sandals in womans size 15. Perhaps you two can find a pair that you will like, there. Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heelsrule Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 Hi Histileto/bubba, Yeah it also started as a bit of a joke. I was in a adults store one day and I saw a pair of 4" Dorsays there in his size similar to what he has bought me. Caught my eye simply because on how big they were. I'm only an 8, but to see female shoes in size 15, they were huge!So I thought why not. Then at home that night I made him sit down blind folded and put them on him. he was a bit shocked but not angry, he walked around a bit for me and I was amazed he never stumbled once. I always had visions of guys not being about to walk one step without stumbling. In his jeans he looked fairly hot too as he carried his psoture well and I have asked himto wear them a few times and he can do for hours and not complain. and we often went for short walks (I had to bribe him going bra less) at night along our rural street on a full moon both wearing same shoes as a challenge to see whose feet would get sore first. i asked once if he would wear them out to quiet dinner or something and it was definit no, but l later said if he got a pair of knee high Ellie lace ups like mine he would. The plan was dinner with take away in the park and then late movies on a week night. He got dressed first, but was very nervous. So I put on same boots, a very short denim mini and a fitted top to show no eyes would be on him. We had a great night and repeated similar, although the boots are umcomfortable at the top as his legs are too long for boot. He knows I'm a sure thing on these nights so this helps. We are looking for more shoes, especially boots, but most 15's are cheap hooker style and boots rarely long enough in leg. Love Sussie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve63130 Posted October 5, 2010 Share Posted October 5, 2010 See? Behind every successful man, there's a woman! Well done, Sussie! Sounds like you know how to make your hubby a happy little vegemite! What part of Oz are you in? I get over there frequently and been all around NSW and Vic and a few other places. Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heelsrule Posted October 5, 2010 Share Posted October 5, 2010 See? Behind every successful man, there's a woman! Well done, Sussie! Sounds like you know how to make your hubby a happy little vegemite! What part of Oz are you in? I get over there frequently and been all around NSW and Vic and a few other places. Steve I read "Vegemite" and my eyes went straight to your details, then I saw USA and thought what the? Now I see why? Central Qld, but looking at moving in next 6-12mths. Thinking of getting someone to take over business in some manner and moving south and living in the highlands of Tas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve63130 Posted October 5, 2010 Share Posted October 5, 2010 G'day, Heelsrule, We want to see Tassy on the next trip, but with the AUD so strong against the USD now is hardly the time for playing tourist there. On our first trip in 2001 the AUD was under $0.50US. That was a travel bargain! I'm the only Yank I know of that loves Vegemite, Slim Dusty, and wearing high heels! LOL Hope we can meet up someday! Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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