How did you get the courage?

[ImInHeels]

I thought it would be an idea for people who now have the courage to go out in public to let us who are still worried to have one place to look. I still haven't gotten any further then going out in 4" wedge heels at night. (late at night normally after midnight).

[kfsteve391]

Same here. I have gone for walks in my neighborhood in the evenings in heels. Most have been in four inch wedgies, too. Have worn strappy high heels, also. Want to get more used to walking in them before I venture out in the day. My heels are all very sexy and feminine. Have four pairs that are pink! I do not know what kind of reaction I may get. There is no way my heels could be mistaken as men's shoes.

[Jen J]

Well, for example. Yesterday I went to FedEx. I put on my 5" black pumps, wearing jeans and a black shirt. I did not bring anything else. No backup shoes, nothing. Drove to the pick up center and at that point I had 3 options. 1. Turn around and drive home. - Not good for the self confidence, also a waste of time. 2. Take off my shoes and go in barefoot. - Plausible but kinda wierd. 3. Wear my heels, don't think about it, just do it. - Deal with the issues IF they come up. Picked up my package and went home. Uneventfull but I was out and I was in the public eye. I do it often and the reactions are usually non-existant. Jen

[tallguyinheels]

Here is my thought. I started with heels at night, in the car, pumping gas, always in long jeans that when standing still no one would notice. The one day I walked into the convenience store with the heels on. I figured everyone would notice, but they don't! Picture yourself when you go into a public place, a grocery store for instance. When you have a task to focus on, you really don't pay much attention to anybody else in the store. Next confidence builder, you notice that someone actually noticed! But they say nothing, You go about your task at hand, they go back to their task. So what! worst case... someone you don't know, tells a friend or wife or whatever (who you also don't know), "Guess what, at the grocery store today I noticed a guy wearing 4" stilettos" Pretty soon, you can go out in the heels and you pretty much treat it as one of the ways you feel comfortably dressed as you go about your business. The guy behind the counter at the convenience store I frequent at lunch once asked me, "What about those shoes you were wearing the other day?" Now the guy's name is Steve, cuz that's what his name tag says. I've been going into the convenience store for four years, the last three years or so often in heels, and after the 40th time or more he finally notices? I'm 6'5" in normal shoes and 6'8" or better in my typical heels, and he just noticed or finally decided to say something. So have a reply at hand. Mine is "What do you think?" I like it because it disarms them and give me a chance to relax and engage in a conversation. Fast forward, today I'm in a skirt and 5" stiletto boots, into Marshalls discount store, 50+ people in the store I'm in there for 15 minutes, anybody that looks will notice me. Not one word from anybody! Typical, as you read here. Venture forth and conquer your fears!

[wood&metal]

I did it in small steps, no pun intended... Chunky 3" heel boots under boot-cut jeans.. Got gas....(I think I went in the store for a soda too, but may have been another time) Evening post office trip, just to drop some letters in the box inside... Trip to Blockbuster.. Trip to Radio Shack for a cable.. From there it was on to more crowded places.. The grocery store, where I got my first strange look.. Trip to Barnes & Noble, and a shoe store where I got my second strange look.. Circut city, where I got my first complement!.. Now, unfortunately I've lost some of my courage lately, so it's just been 2" heel cowboy boots as of late...

[spiker]

I figured everyone would notice, but they don't! Picture yourself when you go into a public place, a grocery store for instance. When you have a task to focus on, you really don't pay much attention to anybody else in the store.

Of course you're right, but I think the thing that makes it harder is I bet everyone on this board would notice what kind of heels everyone in the store was wearing as we're constantly scouting for them (I know I am anyway). So we just imagine that everyone else is doing the same.

Spiker.

[johnieheel]

I pretty much started out like wood&metal. Block heels under boot cut jeans. Then started dating girls who supported it and at times, enabeled it. Then one day i just said the heck with it! From this day on, I'm going to be myself and wear what ever shoes I want, let the world know and if someone doesn't like it, sorry bout there luck. Today I am blessed with a wife who feels the same way and loves to see me dressed in heels when we go anywhere. She noticed that i'm a much happier person when I'm being myself. All my family and friends know and except me for who I am and not what I wear. After a few times seeing me in heels, it's like anything else, they get used to it and the shock wears off and is gone for good. Hope this helps. As for reactions from other people in stores or where ever, almost zilch (none)nada.

[Thighboots2]

I went down the same road as many before me, those late night walks, but I was never comfortable with those as they really are dangerous and experience (and this board) have demonstrated that the best place is the busiest you can find, but then like many I was hung up on the idea that the only sort of heel was a stiletto which is by no means a mans shoe. It was this board that opened my mind to other forms of heels as a way of doing it in the daytime, and changed my stilettos only thinking which still doesn't sit comfortably in my mind, to incorporate stacks, cubans and so on. I started with 1.75" heels and then when the earth didn't spin the other way round, I increased the height but sticking with the very utilitarian womens styled ankle boots. I did have a little foray into thick stiletto boots, about a 3/4" D section, but that didn't last more than a couple of weeks, but it was fun. My comfort zone became a heel no more slender than 1" section. Slender enough so it isn't always perfectly stable, but thick enough to not be too feminine. Now I wear almost nothing else with 3" being almost standard daily wear and 4" when the mood takes me. The best side effect is that since I started wearing 3" heels regularly, I no longer have issues with my lower back whereas I used to have twinges and so on. Others have reported this so I must conclude that for me, wearing heels is medicinal, like a nice brandy Simon.

[chris100575]

My first proper outing in daylight with heels in full view was largely helped by a combination of a few beers and a cousin who was insistent that I wasn't going to back out of going out in them. I was wearing the boots in my avatar, but as we were going to be out for the night and it was my first proper night out I took my trainers in a daysack in case the heels got to be too much after a while. I didn't resort to the trainers, and after that first time it was easier to do it again.

[roniheels]

Like many others, I started going places in high heels late at night. I gradually wore high heels (4" and 5" stiletto high heels) more and more during the day time. I started going to more and more places wearing high heels thanks in part to some of the great ideas from the members of High Heel Place. The more you wear high heels in public, the more comfortable you get. I just suggest that you take it slowly at your pace and don't rush into anything until you are totally comfortable with wearing high heels in public.

[AZShoeNut]

Howdy, Well, my experience is a bit of a work in progress. A couple months ago, I walked from my Jeep back to my condo in a pair of 3.75-inch pump style wedge heels when I came home from picking up lunch. My pulse had to be 180 or more. I have been wearing them as I drive for lunch or other places. Then two weeks ago after a couple drinks in the evening the Mrs. agreed to walk around the block with me at around 10:30 at night. Our neighborhood is basically safe. It was very cool however I decided to not take them off as we entered our condos and our neighbor was out in front about 100-feet away. Man the 4-inch pumps I was wearing at that time sure got loud as we noticed him and took another route into our unit. He never mentioned anything so I assume that he did not notice. Now this weekend my niece is having a Halloween party and I am considering going drag to it. This will be the second time that I have gone drag on halloween. If the subject of what the deal is with going drag a second time comes up then I might just say that it is all about the heels. Hell, I don't know however it will be a way to open the subject with my family. I suppose that we'll see. Later, Larry

[Steve63130]

I approached it from the position of wearing loafers with a block heel, but then switched to clogs, which I love, and which are a unisex shoe, at least in some cultures. I started with heavy, wood-sole Swedish ones with a 2 to 2.5" heel, then moved into Clark's and others (mostly from Ebay) in the 2-3" range and even some up to 4" and with thinner (but not stiletto) heels. My wife is ok with my choices and although I've pushed myself and pushed her envelope a bit, it has been in tiny increments. But it's resulted in my wearing shoes that I like and that she is ok with, so it's a win-win situation as far as I'm concerned! I have a narrow foot, so I've been wearing women's shoes for a long time. I like the full insole and the hosiery-friendly interiors. I'm comfortable with a 3" heel for all day on my feet, and don't really have a desire to go any higher. Steve

[SandalFan]

I jumped head-first into street-heeling. No secret walks at night. No "testing the waters" in 1" flats. I went to Payless in broad daylight on a Saturday, tried on a pair of 4" stiletto ankle boots in the store, bought them, and then did some shopping at two different grocery stores with an extra stop at a local convenience store before returning home.

You can read all about my first experiences here. You'll also find pics attached to a few of my posts on pages 2, 3, and 6 of that thread.

[k6ps]

Hi,

I got started with wood block unisex swedish clogs at work (http://www.hhplace.org/album.php?albumid=109&pictureid=1405) and mens latino dancing shoes with 2'' cuban heels at dancing classes (http://www.hhplace.org/album.php?albumid=109&pictureid=1412). Then i discovered the HHPlace and realised that this is the floor, not the ceiling. Now it is less than one year from the day when i put on my first shoes with more than 2'' heels, and i'm wearing 2,5'' - 4'' block and wedge heels almost daily, everywhere. I've taken small steps at a time to gain additional courage and expand my comfort zone (the most significant of these are described in this thread --> http://www.hhplace.org/guys/14137-expanding_k6ps_s_comfort_zone.html). I've followed these principles so far:

- i only wear masculine looking but quite freaky shoes and with masculine outfits. No stilettos, pointy toes, pumps, mary janes, knee highs, etc. for now.

- my overall outfit has to be fashioable and unique too to balance the shoes

- i don't hide it from anyone if that's what i like and that's my style. Many people at first show some initial reaction of surprise, but later find that this is cool and interesting style. All my family members and close relatives, co-corkers, university classmates and professors, the parents of the other kids in my kids' kindergarden group, etc. seem to be used to me wearing such shoes.

Happy Courage-gaining

k6ps

[mtnsofheels]

I started way back in the late 70's and wore boots on and off mostly in the low light and obscure places. In the last 18 years it boiled down to giving up the worry and just doing it. I use a phrase which helped me do this, " I feel much better now that I have given up hope", basically allowed me to get by the metal problem area and just go heeling. I do fall in a less confident times but just bit down and go for it and it works. Mtnsofheels

[hh4evr1]

I got a pair of cowboy boots and wore them anywhere I wanted. Then changed to ankle boots with a block heel. Now I have ankle boots with a wedge heel, blade heel, block heel. I also have stiletto heels but dont wear them outside as often as the other types. Reading this site about others wearing heels outside also helped alot.

[scrappycoco]

well i guess I could say this! You just almost have to just wear them! I try to wear heel's that don't look too fem! My biggest worry is running into someone I know! My modem of thinking is 1. you have to be secure in your man hood and with who you are! 2. You just have to also think what's good for the goose is good for the gander! 3. You can not control what other people think or say about you the only thing you can control is your self! You also have to stop and think before you wear heel's when you are going some where! Here's my mode of thought! If I am going some where and I'm thinking about wearing heel's I say to my self would a women that wear's heel wear them here? I mean you are less likely to get attention if you wear heel's into the right situation. think like this and you will most likely not even be noticed! Do something stupid like wearing a pair of heel's while hiking in the woods will really get your self looked at like you are idiot! That's my thought's!

[chrisr]

Like many others I first started with short walks in dark out-of-the-way places. But I soon lost interest in that. I thought: 1/ this isn’t what I’m really wanting to do, 2/if I go 'public' no one is going to notice and even if they do, so what? Why shouldn’t I wear heels? Half the population does. 3/ If anyone does notice, they don’t know me and will never see me again anyway. So I just went for it! My first real outdoor heeling was in a town next nearest (so as to minimise the chances of seeing anyone who would recognise me) to where I live. A Saturday, I think, a stroll up and down the main shopping street. I was wearing black ankle boots, with a chunky 3-inch-ish heel, I believe; it was quite a while ago. With my jeans hanging a bit lower than normal to cover some of the heel! I’ve no idea whether anyone noticed. I didn’t see any reaction. But I wasn’t really looking and I didn’t care anyway. It doesn’t affect anyone else so it’s nothing to do with them what I wear. My key bits of advice would be: 1/ your own state of mind is important, 2/ be confident: someone looking furtive and guilty will attract closer inspection, 3/ be sure you can manage the heels properly: someone not walking properly will also get a closer look, 4/ unless you are really wanting people to notice your heels, stick to darker colours and thicker heels, 5/ go somewhere busy. Once the first trip is over and done, you just think ‘well, what was all the fuss and worry for?!’