johnieheel Posted June 13, 2008 Posted June 13, 2008 Do you think some women have the same fear as some men to wear heels in public places? yes no I think that there are some women, like a lot of men who are afraid of being singled out and looked at and mabe afraid of what people might say behind there back to wear heels in public. Some women really might want to but don't have the confidence to wear heels in public on an every day, go to the store kinda thing for fear of being pointed out kind of like a lot of us guys. What do you think? 1 real men wear heels
SarahLou Posted June 13, 2008 Posted June 13, 2008 Yes! I'm quite glad you brought that up. I am one of those women. I have such good intentions, buying shoes and looking at them all the time, but if I am not going to work I get worried about wearing heels - and often don't end up wearing them. It seemed to be slightly easier when I was single, but now I feel like Im asking for attention from other men, which I don't want. I wish this wasnt the case as I love shoes! How do men overcome it? Also, what made you think of this?
Histiletto Posted June 13, 2008 Posted June 13, 2008 Hey johnnieheel, This subject needs addressing. We men think that wearing heels would not be any problem for women, but as Sarahlou points out they are attention grabbing. If a woman is on the prowl for a potential companion, her personality and looks, along with heels will advertise her presence and get her all the noticing she could ever want. Now, I know it is flattering to think someone has admired your appearance, but there are times you just want to look good without having to deal with anyone. You should have that right to be unbothered if you so desire. It is too bad that society hasn't made clear to some people, that one's space is not to be invaded or obstructed unless consent is given and even then others should to continue to show respect after getting the consent. As far as answering the question of overcoming the attention, when male heeling is as common as women heelers and men no longer have the social attitude to deal with, we might have a little more of an authoritative solution. For now, this may be a natural result up to now, because of the heeling domination by women. Possibly, if men could have an equal share in heeling, maybe the expectation would not have such an influence. However, from my point of view, the attraction of a women will always trump the appearance of a man, whether in heels or not.
roniheels Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 I voted yes and I'll try to explain. I believe there are some women, as there are some men, who are going to wear whatever they want or like to wear. Because of the social pressures or stereotypes, some women and men will follow what they feel is the "norm" and dress more conservatively for personal and professional reasons, too. One woman in our office said she will never wear high heels in the office and doesn't think others should either. She said this is an office, not a night club. Sarahlou's comments go along with the idea that women know that wearing high heels will bring attention to them, and as in her case, it might not be the attention she necessarily wants. High heeled shoes, as long as I can remember, have been called sexy and daring and associated with sexy women wearing them. When I wear high heels, it is a bit of a novelty because they aren't a typical part of my wardrobe. Most women have or have had at least one pair of high heels in thier possesion for a special occassion. Those women might think long and hard about when they ought to wear them. For a number of reasons, I voted yes to the question.
SarahLou Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 I feel a strange sense of relief knowing that someone has addressed this subject! Even though no other women on here have posted about it yet. My other half would love for me to wear heels way more often than I do, but Im not sure he realizes the amount of unwanted attention it seems to get - or maybe he does and thats the attraction. But I can only really do what Im comfortable with - as I have found out for myself, there is no point wearing heels out when you don't REALLY want to, and feeling self conscious all day/night, or getting unwanted advances.
mikeheel Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 Hmmm, seems the whole human race is in danger of wearing flat shoes most of the time ! Does the attention, that women get, equate to that which men draw when showing high heels? Does feeling self conscious have any benefits?...I can't think of any. M You won't get me wearing flat shoes...I really can't do it.
BoyLegs Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 Hmmm, seems the whole human race is in danger of wearing flat shoes most of the time ! Does the attention, that women get, equate to that which men draw when showing high heels? Does feeling self conscious have any benefits?...I can't think of any. M The women I have known all have some reluctance to wear heels in public "when nobody else is." They want to fit in and they observe what other people are doing.
shrimper Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 Its interesting to notice that men who don't actually care about heels feel that a woman in heels is more open to their advances. In this day and age an unescorted woman in heels is very likely to experience rudeness from ignorant males and most wish to avoid this type of encounter. I don't believe the type of men who frequent this board would harass a person, male or female because of their outfit but it does happen.
Thighbooter Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 Thanks Johnieheel and SarahLou. I've had a nagging question in my mind that I was planning to post here, and now I think I have the answer. My question, observation really, was that I often see women wearing just stunningly beautiful high heels, and then they'll also be wearing wide legged slacks that are so long they drag the ground, get torn up and completely cover their shoes. I guess now, I know why. They must like the feel of wearing the heels, but don't want the attention they inherintly draw. I guess that makes since, but it's still kind of a bummer for folks like me who really like the overall apprerance of them. So, I too voted yes. Makes since really.
Bubba136 Posted June 14, 2008 Posted June 14, 2008 It's the fashion mate! Raggy edge bottoms on their pants leg cuffs and can't see the shoes. Totally out of place because I know there's a pair of heels under those cuffs, somewheere. LOL Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.
Nina Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 I would never feel out of place wearing my stilettos. I wear them as often as I like. If I get lots of looks, great!! I would be most upset if nobody glanced in my direction :-) As for overly eager advances, well classic pumps have pointed toes and even a half hearted kick from them in a delicate area is going to hurt a guy. Don't forget that ladies :-) Nina.
SarahLou Posted June 15, 2008 Posted June 15, 2008 I wish I was as confident as you Nina! If only it was that simple for me.
johnieheel Posted June 16, 2008 Author Posted June 16, 2008 Yes! I'm quite glad you brought that up. I am one of those women. I have such good intentions, buying shoes and looking at them all the time, but if I am not going to work I get worried about wearing heels - and often don't end up wearing them. It seemed to be slightly easier when I was single, but now I feel like Im asking for attention from other men, which I don't want. I wish this wasnt the case as I love shoes! How do men overcome it? Also, what made you think of this? 1st of all SarahLou, the way I over came it was to just think about how you only go around once in this life so I just decided to start being myself no matter what other people think knowing that me wearing heels isn't hurting anybody, on the other hand it is helping me to be whole and who I am. 2- There was another thread in the guys section that made me think of it. It was the thread about seeing women in nice clothes and flats or ugly shoes. real men wear heels
Stilettoscot Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 I posted yes as I would imagine women to have the same "Am I gonna fall, etc" fears. But, in my mind, they probably have less variety of fears as they can easily go out in public from a society-acceptance standpoint. Walking in ultra-highs because it's exciting...and it is!!
thedesigner Posted June 16, 2008 Posted June 16, 2008 ok, so i'm a bloke so i cant answer for the ladies, so shoot me down gently cos i know i have a reputation for being too loud... I dont consider a woman in heels to be 1/ tarty 2/ up for it. I take it as being nice, a woman who pleases herself and likes to be admired. If she is going somewhere where she may attract attention she does not want (the wrong side of town) then she wont wear heels. I am proud of my soulmate wearing big heels when we're out, it gives her confidence that she's admired by strangers, which pleases me too on her behalf, as her dress sense is immaculate. I know a lot of blokes who would try to ban their partners from dressing up, to me theyre sad and lacking in confidence. The day she buys crocs is the day my eyes wander.....
William Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 My wife will only wear her really high heels when she's going to be with me, like when we go out together. She will wear 2" - 3" heels sometimes, just because she likes the outfit witht he shoes. Generally, I believe she feels a bit "naughty" to be wearing 5" - 6" heels. And, generally, this leads us toward the bedroom when we get home. I am a very lucky man, indeed. My wife totally gets the whole excitment of heels. Which is why she most often doesn't wear the really high ones to work. When at home, if she's wanting a piece of me, she'll wear shoes that weren't designed to be walked in at all. I love the feel of wearing high heels myself. But, rarely, would I go out wearing the kind of heels I wear in the privacy of my own home. I do have some boots with chunky heels (3" - 4") that I'll throw together with long jeans sometimes. Mostly, not around my own neighborhood, only when we're out of town. No need for rumors about that "wierd" couple who lives down the street, if you know what I mean. Should the 70's return, however, I'll be the guy walking confidently in my 7" platforms (without falling over)!
Amanda Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Sure there are times when I would have felt happier wearing lower heels. Times when I felt inapropriately dressed and would have prefered not to draw any extra attention to myself. It's rare for me to feel that way. I guess I'm just a hardened long time heel wearer.
heelma Posted June 25, 2008 Posted June 25, 2008 Do you think some women have the same fear as some men to wear heels in public places? I don't think that this is a fair question to ask. As a man, we have the main fear that someone humiliates us for wearing something men normally don't wear, etc - all the 1000x discussed issues. Yes, there are reasons for women to be afraid as well (as we saw in replies to this thread), but to me, this is all on a completely different level. A woman never has to worry that someone openly laughs at her for just wearing heels. It's more about "is this too slutty?", "are my heels too high for work?", etc. Compare that to "do I need to wear a suit when I go to work?" It's more a common dress code question.
johnieheel Posted June 30, 2008 Author Posted June 30, 2008 I don't think that this is a fair question to ask. As a man, we have the main fear that someone humiliates us for wearing something men normally don't wear, etc - all the 1000x discussed issues. Yes, there are reasons for women to be afraid as well (as we saw in replies to this thread), but to me, this is all on a completely different level. A woman never has to worry that someone openly laughs at her for just wearing heels. It's more about "is this too slutty?", "are my heels too high for work?", etc. Compare that to "do I need to wear a suit when I go to work?" It's more a common dress code question. Missing the point. real men wear heels
JeffB Posted July 5, 2008 Posted July 5, 2008 Fascinating. I honestly would never have thought that some women would feel uncomfortable or self-conscious about wearing heels in public since they're far more accepted wearing such shoes than men are or ever will be. I've just learned something new. I guess it all depends on the person and her own comfort level. Despite the difference in genders, we're all in the same boat when it comes to that comfort level. I don't want to LOOK like a woman, I just want to DRESS like a woman!
Thighboots2 Posted July 10, 2008 Posted July 10, 2008 This is one of those fascinating threads that appears from time to time on this board. Thanks to Johnieheel for starting it. Like many who have responded, it is a question that had never crossed my mind. Women can wear heels - period. However, it is a known fact that men do look at womens shoes and stiuletto heels are very much appreciated. But in all things in life, there are the few who take things too far. IMHO this is a reflection on the standards of society and the way children are brought up. Lets face it, we men on this board mostly have a love of heels because of our childhood experience in our mothers wardrobe. It seems to me that there is a general lack of respect for each other and their choices. Apperance should not dictate how to interact with another, actions should. I have sat next to a man on the train who had so many studs and piercings in his head, I wondered how he could drink without leaking, yet I had a most pleasant conversation with him precisely because of the way he asked if the seat next to me was vacant. I am sorry for SarahLou, or any other woman for that matter, who loves to wear nice clothes, lingerie and heels because she feels good in them, feels she can't when on her own because of her desire not to be predated upon. The risk is tiny of course, but it is still there. Its a shame the growing number of ladies on the board have not enetered into the conversation because their views would be most enlightening, especially if they would expand upon why they have this fear. Perhaps SarahLou should/could open a topic in the Ladies only section. Simon Are you confusing me with someone who gives a damn?
heelma Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 Missing the point. Why? I know what you are asking and we see the responses from women here that confirm that there are some who have fear. However, when you ask "are there women who have the same kind of fear of wearing heels as men do?", then I simply disagree that this kind of fear is the same for women and for men. Or were you ever afraid that another man (or woman) you bump into wants to rape you because you wear heels? Just an extreme example!
Stilettoscot Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 I don't see where it says "the same kind of fear" in the Title. I see it saying "like some men", but that's just saying there's fear.... Walking in ultra-highs because it's exciting...and it is!!
heelma Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 Do you think some women have the same fear as some men to wear heels in public places? here it is ...
Stilettoscot Posted July 11, 2008 Posted July 11, 2008 Hmm. I can see how the question can be taken either way. While it doesn't say smae "kind" of fear, it can be interpreted as such. I saw it as simply do women have fears like men do, not the same kind... Walking in ultra-highs because it's exciting...and it is!!
Bubba136 Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 Hmm. I can see how the question can be taken either way. While it doesn't say smae "kind" of fear, it can be interpreted as such. I saw it as simply do women have fears like men do, not the same kind... When I went to school the teachers taught us how to read. While most of us often read only what we want to see, it pays to read the comment carefully because, like I often do, those of us that don't make a fool of ourselves. Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.
stilettoman Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 well, i had to vote yes,as far as my my experiance goes with the few women i have had any kind of serious relationship with,whenever i have suggested her to wear heels and told them of my fetish they run away and they run away fast,so i would have to come to the conclusion that most ladies have a fear of wearing them i personaly dont know what other reason there can be for it
johnieheel Posted July 12, 2008 Author Posted July 12, 2008 here it is ... Pretty simple question I think. Why make it complicated? real men wear heels
wolf Posted July 12, 2008 Posted July 12, 2008 well, i had to vote yes,as far as my my experiance goes with the few women i have had any kind of serious relationship with,whenever i have suggested her to wear heels and told them of my fetish they run away and they run away fast,so i would have to come to the conclusion that most ladies have a fear of wearing them i personaly dont know what other reason there can be for it I think those women runned away because they thought you are more interested to their heels than them.
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