Magickman Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 My date and I were at a department store sale, in suburban Minneapolis. She had a return to make at that store, and then we decided to look around. Naturally, we found our way to the shoe department. There was an amazing collection of shoes and boots on sale, including some great heels, but most were not yet reduced to clearance prices. Then I found a fantastic pair of Steve Madden, 5" wedge heel, open toe sandals, in light brown leather. The wedge heel was very narrow,tapering almost to a point, at the back. Of course, I knew right away that I had to have these shoes, after trying them on. My date made a face, when she saw the shoes, saying that I would be crossing the line, if I wore them. "Crossing the line?", I asked innocently. "Yes," she said. "They are too girly." I was imagining myself, come a warm springtime Saturday night, out dancing in those very shoes. Wearing, I think, a pair of spandex denim short shorts, maybe the white ones, and a silk shirt. It's OK, because I have great legs. Needless to say, I bought the wedge sandals, despite my date's protests. Originally priced at U.S. $79.00, they were on sale at $49.99, but I had a coupon for a further 15% discount, and the shop girl gave me another 10% off. My final net cost was $38.24. Here is the URL, for you to see them: http://www.zappos.com/n/p/p/7200103/c/20.html Check out the multi view. Zappos says these are a 4" heel, but I measured them, and they are 5". You guys tell me, please. Did I cross the line? Are these shoes beyond what a fellow ought wear, when out dancing? I want to know what you think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ilovepumps! Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 I wear pumps and I dont think you can get any more girlie than them. As for those wedges, they do look more suited to a female than a male but, you like them thats the main thing, right Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wood&metal Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 They ain't my bag, but wear whatever you desire!. If they make you feel good, kewl.. That said, here's my 2 cents.. My concern would be more towards the date and what she thinks. I'm assuming you might want to hang on to her, so her input on the subject should be considered, at least somewhat. Never frown because you never know who is falling in love with your smile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoverfly Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 They ain't my bag, but wear whatever you desire!. If they make you feel good, kewl.. That said, here's my 2 cents.. My concern would be more towards the date and what she thinks. I'm assuming you might want to hang on to her, so her input on the subject should be considered, at least somewhat. Same here, sometimes it pays to Lessen to another opinion, gives you an idea what you are projecting. Hello,  my name is Hoverfly. I’m a high heel addict…. Weeeeeeeeeee!  👠1998 to 2022! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JNR Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 When someone mentions they are with their "Date," my impression is that they are in the company of someone that, although the person isn't a complete stranger, they do not have the strength of relationship that a "financee', wife or even a "significant other" would have. Therefore, while her opinion might be honestly given, it -- in my opinion -- wouldn't have the same sway as that having come from a person more familiar (or closer). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShockQueen Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 Sounds like someone who wants the person, but just not all aspects. Any relationship with firm boundaries set up such as those should cause all parties to stop and think about which way to proceed before going further. This has been discussed many times ad nauseum, so go with what makes you feel the best. SQ.....still busting societal molds with a smile...and a 50-ton sledge! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmc Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 Personally, I would have passed them by -- but that's irrelevant. If you like them then you should have them, even if you never venture out of the house in them -- even if you just admire them and never actually wear them. As far as your date goes, you and she have to evaluate your relationship in light of this. If she cannot accept and love you for what and who you are then your relationship is not built upon respect anyway and it is destined for trouble. Have a happy time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thighboots2 Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 I too would pass these by as they are not my style. As to crossing the line, well the "Line" is different for each person. My line, varies depending upon wether it is what I see or what I wear. The "What I see" line can be way of in the distance, like David and his Thighhighs are just fine as long as he is comfortable with the look and we know that he is totally comfortable with it. The "What I wear" line is considerably more conservative as I am not wishing to push the envelope, just incorporate a more masculine heel style into my wardrobe. The line is where you want to place it, no one here can define that for you. Enjoy your new shoes. TB2 Are you confusing me with someone who gives a damn? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeffB Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 Magickman: You have to go your own way and do what pleases you, not the rest of the world. I know the occassion compromise is good, but not to the point where you willingly sacrifice your own happiness to satisfy someone else. Oh, and speaking a man who wears pumps, perhaps the ultimate in feminine looking shoes in public, I don't think what you bought is any big deal. I don't want to LOOK like a woman, I just want to DRESS like a woman! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heelme Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 What a fellow ought to wear depends. If you're asking "Would a man wear these shoes out for an evening?" the answer, keeping with the current mindset of society, is no. The outfit you described would probably meet with the same answer. Lines are set by individuals as well as groups so no matter what a person does, they're bound to cross someone's line, right? These statements become moot since the question comes from and is pointed at a different "society". Though we differ in our tastes, we're here for the love of heels and therefore, have a different perspective in which to answer a question like that. Personally, I like the shoe and have been shopping around for a wedge not unlike that one. If anything, you've pressed the proverbial "social" envelope right along and as stated, this new direction aligns with the person you are. I appreciate that you ask the question. It means you care enough to consider your date's opinion. Maybe she needs to see the entire ensemble to appreciate the shoe more. In the end though, you are wearing them for you. Now go cut a rug ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris100575 Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 Magickman: As I see it there are two kinds of lines, those we draw for ourselves and those others draw for us. Judging by some of your posts, and accepting that I've never seen you, it does sound like you go for quite a feminine / androgynous look. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with this, some women are turned off by it. This is a case of your choice, shoes in this case, being within your comfort zone but outside hers. It's a purely subjective thing though, and we're all different, so it's kind of hard to say "the line is drawn here". Chris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeffB Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Magickman: As I see it there are two kinds of lines, those we draw for ourselves and those others draw for us. Judging by some of your posts, and accepting that I've never seen you, it does sound like you go for quite a feminine / androgynous look. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with this, some women are turned off by it. This is a case of your choice, shoes in this case, being within your comfort zone but outside hers. It's a purely subjective thing though, and we're all different, so it's kind of hard to say "the line is drawn here". Chris A brilliant choice of words! Couldn't have said it better myself. Magickman: Don't allow an often narrowminded society to draw those lines for you, it's up to you and you alone to decide just how far to push the envelope. It's your life, don't allow others to determine how you live it. I don't want to LOOK like a woman, I just want to DRESS like a woman! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fog Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Magickman: As I see it there are two kinds of lines, those we draw for ourselves and those others draw for us. Judging by some of your posts, and accepting that I've never seen you, it does sound like you go for quite a feminine / androgynous look. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with this, some women are turned off by it. This is a case of your choice, shoes in this case, being within your comfort zone but outside hers. It's a purely subjective thing though, and we're all different, so it's kind of hard to say "the line is drawn here". Chris That's so right. At the end of the day it's only you who can decide. But in a way the question seems rhetorical. There are so many other considerations to be taken into account to really answer the question. What's the rest of the outfit like - you could post a picture - and we've got an idea of your personality from your posts. If you're as outgoing and confident in real life as you appear on this board you should be fine. I wouldn't wear sandals like that myself - but that's not the question. A few years ago when I was single a female friend of mine suggested that I grew a beard to filter out all the foolish and unsuitable women I was getting involved with! It seems Magickman filters his women via his heels. Very sensible approach! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magickman Posted January 18, 2007 Author Share Posted January 18, 2007 I ought say thanks for all of the thoughtful reponses in this thread. It will be a while before Minnesota springtime allows the wearing of open toe sandals. So I have time to select the appropriate arena for public unveiling of my new wedges. As always, some people will be amused and others outraged. I find myself amused by the reactions. A few of the women seem turned on, by my heels. And there are those who think I am crazy. They may be right. But the wedges are just shoes. Nothing more. Meanwhile, my date called and she wants me to go out with her and her girlfriend to a dive bar, in a bad neighborhood, this weekend, to celebrate her girlfriend's birthday. Her girlfriend warned that I should not wear my heels, or I might be killed, at this bar. What a freaking thrill! I think the girls are intending to get drunk. Me? I am intending to not get killed. Maybe stealth heels. Tomorrow night is dancing, though. Gold 4" heel ankle boots, gold hoop earrings, and gold glitter manicure. I predict that the gals will love it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heelfan Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Regarding the disparity in the heel height, surely this is explained by the presence of the 1" platform. The heel might indeed measure 5" down the back, but when the lift is lessened by a 1" platform, it is really a 4" heel in true high heel terms. Cheers, Heelfan Onwards and upwards! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pumpedup Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 well, i guess that means your date doesn't know you have a women's shoe fetish, eh? Maybe you should explain that to her, talk to her. If she is a date, and not a keeper, then what do you care what she thinks? if she is a keeper, then please explain to her your fetish and talk things out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr1819 Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 Magickman: As I see it there are two kinds of lines, those we draw for ourselves and those others draw for us. Judging by some of your posts, and accepting that I've never seen you, it does sound like you go for quite a feminine / androgynous look. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with this, some women are turned off by it. This is a case of your choice, shoes in this case, being within your comfort zone but outside hers. It's a purely subjective thing though, and we're all different, so it's kind of hard to say "the line is drawn here". Chris Bingo. My personal line is much closer to the androgynous look, but rarely do people wonder, "is that a girl?" as I tend to revert to the societal line, which certainly allows me to wear heels, provided they're conservative, tasteful, and more masculine than feminine. Where others choose to draw their own lines is entirely dependant upon where their personal line is, where they perceive the societal line to be, and how far they're willing to go between the societal line and their personal line. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crotchboots-m Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 i interpret her remark as saying she doesnt think you should wear them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katrina Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 I'm torn. If she is someone you want to spend time with, you two need to negotiate where you both are comfortable. If she doesn't want to be seen with a guy with very cute wedges on, then maybe you two can come to a compromise. As for the "line", you should get to draw it where you want, and maybe she is not right for you if you cannot come to a compromise that suits you both. That's what dating is for. BTW, I'm not a big fan of wedges, but those are CUTE!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy N. Heels Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 Magickman: You have to go your own way and do what pleases you, not the rest of the world. I know the occassion compromise is good, but not to the point where you willingly sacrifice your own happiness to satisfy someone else. Oh, and speaking a man who wears pumps, perhaps the ultimate in feminine looking shoes in public, I don't think what you bought is any big deal. DITTO! Personally, I would love to have a pair of those for myself, but at 5", my medical condition will never permit me to wear 'em. Still, they look great! As for being advertised as 4"; they look like they have about a 1" platform which, with a 5" heel, would give you a 4" rise. As for the GF, respect her opinion and take it under advisement. But you should always be your own man. In my experience, the guy who always trys to please others ends up pleasing no one. BTW, I thought Minn. only had 2 seasons - July, August, and winter. Keep on stepping, Guy N. Heels Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JNR Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 July, August and winter -- that's three seasons.....:-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inscapable Posted January 26, 2007 Share Posted January 26, 2007 Same here, sometimes it pays to Lessen to another opinion, gives you an idea what you are projecting. Yeah, man, if you want to keep the girl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
docs41 Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 Nice sandals, I really like them. As far as the gf, I suppose things depend on how serious the relationship is. Either way, good luck and the Maddens are hot! If the shoe fits-buy it!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shoegasmboy Posted January 30, 2007 Share Posted January 30, 2007 Those are not my style, but I don't see them as 'girly' shoes, at all. If they make you happy and you look hot in them, then wear them and be fabulous! As to the 'date', don't ever let anyone, no matter who they are, dictate to you what you do and don't do. If it makes you happy and feel good, and it doesn't hurt anyone, then go for it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassynheels Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 As long as you feel that the shoes your are wearing will allow you step across the line in style, comfort and/or pizazz, then why the concern? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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