Dangereous affair

[legs777777]

Hi all. I think my flirting has gotten me in to trouble this time. I am a manager of a supermarket, and I am also a incurable flirt. Not just with the pretty customers, but every one. The problem I have now is that my area manager ( a lady ) has also been a target of my flirting, nothing much, your hair is nice today, nice perfume. However she has notced me looking at her legs on more than one occasion, she wears high heel boots all the time, again, I now know she has seen me looking. Now the last time we were in her office she was sitting opposite me with a rather sexy pair of high boots on and I couldnt help but stare. High heel boots are a huge turn on for me. She then asked me if I liked her boots and I had to agree, she said that she thought I had with the number of times she had caught me looking. I was then left rather red faced, she walked round the office a few times asking what I thought, I said I thought they were very sexy and suited her very well. The office door then was locked and she sat on my knee, I did admit that high boots were a particular favorite of mine and I did find it distracting when she was in my store. Next bit sounds like it should be in a problem page in the paper, we kissed very passionatly, now I,m caught, what do I do, my wife refuses to wear high heels, she does wear them all the time, I do feel very guilty even kissing her but curious as to where this will go. Help! Legs777777

[hhboots]

Well, that might be a really fun adventure for the short term, but it will not end well, no matter how you play it. If you care about your wife at all, don't pursue the affair any further before there is no coming back.

It seems your love of heels has clouded your judgement and is greater than your love for your wife. If you have to ask "what do I do, my wife refuses to wear high heels, she does wear them all the time, I do feel very guilty even kissing her but curious as to where this will go", your marriage is perhaps already too low on your list of priorities.

[HappyinHeels]

legs777777, It looks like the number seven is not so lucky for you. Whether or not you realized it your flirting has lead you down the primrose path. It is one thing to notice and compliment people on their fashion choices but now it has led you to defile your marriage which is ALWAYS a mistake. I suggest you take a big step back and take stock of what's really important. HappyinHeels:wavey:

[SArmeah]

Forget that you are married. Forget about the heels. You got involved with someone you work with and you think this could end in anyway that is positive? If you want to "fix" this, you have but one clear path. Explain to said Area Manager that while you are incredibly infatuated with her and her apparel, given the fact that you work together and that you are married, you FEEL that your future with her is going to be problematic at best. Do not say something like, "if only I was single" or "if only we didn't work together". That becomes trite, redundant, and insulting. After you have made said statement, hope that she doesn't tell your wife, is understanding and you continue on as normal. That's your best case scenario. Otherwise you just put not only your job but your marriage in jeopardy. Just face the music. Cause you can't avoid it now. But whatever you do, DO NOT pretend it didn't happen. If she know's you're married (which I imagine she does), she knows you have the potential to say all this, and it might not be a big deal.

[roniheels]

How well do you value your marriage? As an outsider looking in, you both got caught up in a moment, emotions overcame both of you, and you both did something that you both see now was really a heat-of-the-moment mistake? If you are truly in love with your wife and value your marriage, tell this woman you were caught up in the moment, she is a very pretty and lovely lady, and another place and another time, but you are in love with your wife and do not want to jeopardize your marriage. Tell her you are sorry that you led her on and hope she won't be angry with you. All you can hope for that she takes this news well and won't cause you any problems in the future. Best of luck to you.

[SArmeah]

Tell her you are sorry that you led her on and hope she won't be angry with you.

This is good.

and another place and another time,

This is bad. Like I said, it trivializes her. Don't do it. It feels natural but its totally a standard male mistake.

[loswabs]

Oh dear, what a tangled web we weave!!!! Loads of questions and here are some.... Is your colleague the lady of your dreams? You are married, but cannot be satisfied enough within the relationship else you would be kissing another woman. Have you been unfaithful before or have you just found true love? Is your wife your true love or a compromise? Which ever lady you want a relationship with, you owe it to them both to be honest about it now. As for it being a colleague, well, I met my other half through work, though we were both single. Having an affair at work muddies the water and if you don't want a relationship with your colleague, you need to let her down carefully, as a case of sexual harrassment could be just around the corner. As an old Sioux proverb goes, "don't poke the payroll"

[pussyinboots]

* deleted *

[Walkonit]

My opinion ? I've seen such scenarios go horribly wrong, but also sometimes work out really well. In other postings you clearly have difficulties with your wife and she with you. - If you still have kids still at home loyalty to your wife and family is paramount in my book. - If not decide if your boss is the woman for you, would make you happy and is looking for a serious relationship. - If so, go for it, plan for a new job, a huge upheaval, a divorce and a big financial hit. You only live once.

[legs777777]

Thanks to everyboby for their comments, appreciated.

[docs41]

Wow, sounds incredibly hot but equally complex-- kinda like playing with nitro glycerin. Best of luck to you because you're going to need it with the decisions you have looming in your future.

[docs41]

Another thing that comes to mind is a relevant quote from an old coworker, "Never dip your pen into company ink!"

[Gary]

I'm sure the situation seems very intriguing and down right exhilirating in the present; but take my advice if you value your relationship with your wife...DON'T GO THERE!

[Fred87]

Your own title to this thread says it all. I'm am not the person I should be when asking for relationship advice, but very thankful for my wife and if you care for the relation you have with your wife, I would have to say ending this sooner than later would be best for all.

[partyshoes]

Legs77777 I think that the general tone of responses here are spot on - dont even think about it! It may have been a weak moment on your part but to pursue it is dangerous and more than one person stands to lose! Be clear with your A.M. but as others have said, do not 'trivialise' her in anyway. Hopefully by both acting as adults, you can emerge relatively intact and carry on in mature sensible manner

[Guest]

I would also in general go with the replies coming back to you, My ha'pence worth is

If you had separated from your wife and therefore free, then by all means with caution, explore.

As you are not then whatever problems may be at home continuing would only create more and ultimately cause even more pain.

Your area manager may be true and stick by you all the way but you cannot guarantee it!

You don't know her situation.

You do need to talk things through for yourselves and the company.

Re: she locked the door and sat on you knee.

it's sexual impropriety, if it was the other way round and you would be stitched (especially with the boss) however the response.

On that factor she maybe wary and also needing to talk.

(Just don't mention it unless you are about to be sacked)

But you two have to discuss what has happened, the situation and the future.

Playing games is one thing but not in the fast lane! There needs to be rules.

Good luck

Al

[legs777777]

Hi All Thank you all for your responses, I have since spoken to my boss and we now know both our circumstances, we both have families and commitments. However I find that I am weak, especially with some one who wears highheels. I have known my boss for a long time and we do get on well, we both know that we were playing with fire. I suppose the lesson there is in future I need to tone down the flirting, the problem now is that after a long talk we both realise this might go further. I know with that comment everyone will think I am bad, I,m married. Just now I,m feeling alive again, and I havent felt like this for a long time. This is not over yet.

[Tech]

Hi All

Thank you all for your responses, I have since spoken to my boss and we now know both our circumstances, we both have families and commitments. However I find that I am weak, especially with some one who wears highheels. I have known my boss for a long time and we do get on well, we both know that we were playing with fire. I suppose the lesson there is in future I need to tone down the flirting, the problem now is that after a long talk we both realise this might go further. I know with that comment everyone will think I am bad, I,m married. Just now I,m feeling alive again, and I havent felt like this for a long time. This is not over yet.

Would you seriously ever want to get with somebody who has the morals of a dishcloth, that would cheat on you behind your back? You know she would cheat on you behind your back because she is doing it with you, if neither of you have the decency to show your partners the same respect you might expect, then anything that comes of this is not going to bode well...

[Charlie]

I think that if you're this easily tempted to mess around then you're not committed to your marriage and should get divorced before even considering getting any more serious with someone else. This way, both parties in your marriage share in knowing it's over. It will be easier in the long run for your wife than it would to feel she's been played for a fool. Just my humble opinion. Charlie

[SleekHeels]

* deleted *

My thoughts exactly.

If heels are able to undermine your morals then heels are way too important in your life and you need to put things in perspective.

[Guest]

Hi All

- Just now I,m feeling alive again, and I havent felt like this for a long time. This is not over yet.

One big thrill and the desire for more.

The cards have been laid in the table and both of you are aware of each others situation and the possible results!

NOW STEP BACK and think about it and then redirect this "alive" energy back into your marriage.

Flat relationships often need one or the other to get things going again, this could be the spark that rekindles it, if you can redirect it!

We have flat months and then something gives it a kick

My son is re courting his wife after a bad time.

Take this feelgood factor back home and give it a try, it will save a marriage and a lot of money sponsoring some lawyer.

Al

[jetheelsfan]

What do you want a parent to say to their kid when they are pulling things off the store shelves and allowing them to break the wares? "KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF THE MERCHANDISE!" Just a thought before the marriage has hit the rocks and is completely broken.

[roniheels]

Do you know if you are the only one that she has done this to? She may just be a professional home wrecker. Good luck again.

[legs777777]

Once again thank you to everyone who replied, we have since spoken to one another and decided to keep things on a professional manner and not to speak of this again, for both our sakes. I do now cannot help but feel relieved and sad at the same time as part of me will always wonder what would have happened next. Regards Legs777777

[Charlie]

Smart move Legs777777! Here in the U.S. I can explain what would likely have happened... You'd have been expected to leave your home while still paying for it and your ex-wife's alimony along with most of the divorce expenses as you were the one who was the cause of it all in the first place. Add to that child support if you have children. If your ex-wife was savy, you'd be paying alimony for a long time as she'd know the gravy train would stop in the event that she re-marries. She'd also likely take in a live-in boyfriend after watching enough episodes of Oprah telling her she's entitled to do so. Worse yet, if the live-in boyfriend was charismatic, the kids, if young enough would start calling HIM 'dad'. Meanwhile, unless you're quite well off enough to support two households, you'd be living in squaller and when the new love of your life that made all this possible in the first place witnessed this train wreck, she'd see you as a downer and move on leaving you with a lot of time to think about what the hell just happened. No, thankfully I'm not talking from personal experience but I know a few guys who wished they didn't get on this ride.. Charlie

[Guest]

Once again thank you to everyone who replied, we have since spoken to one another and decided to keep things on a professional manner and not to speak of this again, for both our sakes. I do now cannot help but feel relieved and sad at the same time as part of me will always wonder what would have happened next.

Regards

Legs777777

Good result.

The wonder will always stay, like all decisions what may have ensued if I moved to X, bought that car or took that job. It is the options and choices we all live with.

I believe nothing can be perfect in all factors of life and we make compromises even with ourselves.

Al

[roniheels]

Once again thank you to everyone who replied, we have since spoken to one another and decided to keep things on a professional manner and not to speak of this again, for both our sakes. I do now cannot help but feel relieved and sad at the same time as part of me will always wonder what would have happened next.

Regards

Legs777777

As others have said, smart move on both of your parts. I wouldn't linger too long on what might have been. As the previous posts have stated, the end would probably been tragic for you. Again, good luck to you.

[SleekHeels]

Given the stereotype that all men are inconsiderate cheats and all women are long-suffering angels, maybe you could tell yourself that fidelity to your wife and generally doing things to make her feel special is a very feminine (and therefore exciting) thing for you to do, almost like mentally wearing your heels. I'm not suggesting that the stereotypes are true (although perhaps sometimes they are), I'm just suggesting that maybe you can use the stereotypes to your advantage with your irrepressible desire for heels so you can "feel alive" by doing the right thing and not the wrong thing. That would be real heel power! Just a thought.

[pussyinboots]

^^^ The simple fact is - that if you have taken marriage vows, then infidelity is immoral, and utterly wrong.

Ask most women - and they'll tell you that lying and infidelity are two of the three biggest deal breakers in any relationship - and that any man who cheats on his wife is a crumb.

(The third deal breaker is violence towards their partner - obviously....)

Thankfully - 'legs777777' has decided upon the right route.....

[Gary]

legs777777, Good move! Press on... Gary