I feel slighty crazy.

[Confused]

Until a couple of weeks ago I had never worn a pair of heels. But at work they had a fancy dress day for children in need. I am a metalhead and have very long hair (down to the middle of my back) and some of the girls wanted to dress me up. Having never been interested in dressing as a woman at all I said no for well over a week until for some reason that I still cannot fathom I said ok. One of the girls took some measurements and my shoe size. On the day I got to work an hour early and they put makeup on me put my hair into pigtails and braided it. Then helped me get dressed. They had me wear white knee high stockings with little red bows, a bra stuffed with tissue, a big white dress that reached my ankles and some shiny black high heels (I do not know how high). I expected to feel humiliated but I found myself fascinated by the shoes and stockings. I stayed dressed like that for 4 hours until lunch then everyone was changing back into their normal clothes. I pretended to be relieved but I actually felt disappointed, especially when I gave the shoes back. The girl that brought in the dress told me it was from a charity shop and I said I would donate it while I bought my lunch that day. But I kept in it my car instead where it stayed for a few days. A couple of days later my GF was out. I then got the dress out and tried it on again. Unfortunately it did nothing for me so I put on some of GF's makeup and used some of her hair scrunchies. That still didn't really make me feel like I did that day so I put on some of her stockings and tried to wear some of her shoes but she is a size 4 and I am a 7. But just the thought I trying to wear them exited me but I would like to mention not in a sexual way, I find it hard to explain. I then took it all off and hid the dress. For days afterwards I found myself looking at high heels in shoe shops when I walked by and on amazon but I didn't have the courage to buy any. Then last monday I got a little drunk and when I got home from the pub I decided to buy some high heels from the internet. I went on amazon and looked at loads of pictures trying to find some that looked like the ones I wore before. But the only ones I could find in black patent and my size in stock were really high. I bought them anyway for £50 and went to sleep. When I woke up I remembered what I had done and went to cancel the order but it was being processed. For a week I have not been able to think about anything else, half exited about wearing them and half terrified my GF will be at home when the package arrived. Luckily I was home alone when it came yesterday. I got dressed up again and put the shoes on but found I could not walk in them at all even standing up was hard. I managed to get around the house by leaning on the walls and I stayed dressed up for over an hour knowing my GF was at work and I would be alone. But it never got easier to walk or stand. So I did a google search for how to walk in heels and I found this forum. My problem is that less than a month ago I was a normal guy with 1 pair of steel toe capped boots for gigs, 1 pair of trainers and some shoes for my suit and I was happy, but now I seem to be obsessed with womens shoes and stockings the rest of it like dresses, makeup and stuff like that seem not matter so much. At work I seem to looking at all of girls shoes in the office and trying to remember how they stand and walk so I can copy it later myself. I also want to tell my GF but I don't know what it is I want to tell her and I am afraid she will think I am gay. I know I do not want to be a woman and I am not attracted to guys. Sorry for the long post and sorry if it makes no sense or if it does not belong here I just had to get this off my chest. Infact I have not even posted yet and I feel better. The shoes I bought are called Pleaser Domina 402's.

[Heelster]

I will say, you went all out on the high heels with the 402 Domina's. I'd venture to say those are a bit much for a newbie heel wearer, but you'll get the hang of it in the future - - - Meanwhile - - There are a lot of us here who have been in your situation in some way or another. If the dress, makeup, bra, etc are not of interest right now, I'd probably box them up and label it as "Halloween Costume" and tuck it in the back corner of the closet for awhile. It will be there until you determine the interest in that aspect, but the shoes and stockings seem to be the focal point in your life right now. Being a metal head may give you a slim advantage if you ever broach the topic of heels with your GF. As we don't know her opinion on the subject, I can only say one thing. You can reference the rockers we know who do wear heels. Kiss, Lenny Kravits (spotted in high wedge heeled boots in public) and The artist formerly know as Prince. Even Elton John liked his platforms in the past, but that may not be a good reference if you look at his other interests. I'm sure there are some other hair metal rockers out there who may have worn platform heels on stage. As for the heels you bought, (and I'm also considering a pair of those myself in the future) you went for the gusto. What you may want to consider is something in the 3" to 4" heel height just to get some practice/experience with. So what to get - - How about something in a black with metal studs/bling in a short boot with a bit bigger heel. Not a stiletto. Something you could pull off wearing in a metal/alternative club with a live band. The question then would be - would your GF think they looked good. Maybe get her a pair and tell her you want a matching pair. Again, we don't know your GF. Just some ideas As for the Domina's - - I'd probably pair that with a pair of black skinny jeans or 'jeggings' Studded belt and anything goth/metal/rocker and preview that on a night when the bands have a fetish theme. The Charity route. See if there is a "Walk a mile in her shoes" event and see if you GF will help you 'train' for the event. Pick a shoe that is within the guidlines and one she likes - - just a thought. As for the stocking - (I'm assuming thigh highs) - you might have to wait a bit and test the waters with the GF. Remember - - you are not alone.

[crotchhiboots]

You should check out Motly Crues' early days they wore stilettos. Even Twisted Sisters Dee Snyder wore heels on stage. Concrete Blonds incarnations the lead singer wore heels so the heels will fit into the act.

[Heelster]

You should check out Motly Crues' early days they wore stilettos. Even Twisted Sisters Dee Snyder wore heels on stage. Concrete Blonds incarnations the lead singer wore heels so the heels will fit into the act.

Never thought about Dee Snyder - Should have. Dohhhh

[big_a_64]

David Bowie also wore heels on stage during his Ziggy Stardust phase.

[dblair]

Great post, Confused...you don't need to be confused anymore. It was less than a year ago that I told my girlfriend (first person I ever told) about my love of wearing heels. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to say, and yet when it was done, I wondered why it was so difficult. She kind of laughed at first, but then wanted to see them on me right away. She has been entirely cool about it and now I wear my heels almost all the time, with the exception of at work and while sleeping. I guess my point is, try to share this with your girlfriend (sooner rather than later), and don't be ashamed. Even if she reacts negatively at first, she will surely come around if she loves you. Having the freedom to wear your heels anytime you want is an awesome feeling.

[roniheels]

Don't feel alone in you interest and enjoyment of high heels. My only suggestion is to be open and honest with your girlfriend if you really care about her and are serious about your relationship with her. Just take your time and ease into your experiences wearing high heels. As I've said before, there is no rush or time limit as to when and how often to wear high heels.

[Jinx]

I copy the thoughts of two previous posts. Share your new passion with your GF. Do it now. It won't get any easier, only harder, by the time... so do it now. It might feel hard and stupid and everything, but do it anyway, you won't regret.

[wolf]

My problem is that less than a month ago I was a normal guy

I think you're still normal guy. You have broadened your interests, but you're still normal.

Feel, try, walk, wear, but.... don't forget to talk about it with your gf. Don't keep it secret.

It's nothing to be ashamed. Don't make the same mistake that many.

Talk to your gf. I think she'll happy that you share your deepest desires/thinks with her.

[Confused]

Well I woke up this morning and came on here just after breakfast. I read the messages and started to feel a little better and decided to tell her. Hell I have not been afraid of anything in my life, I make a point of letting people I don't know, know that I don't care what they think. And here I am scared of shoes, I mean what the hell they are just inanimate objects. So anyway my GF walked into the room and asked if she could use the PC after me to check her emails. I tried to say something to her but I could not find the words. I think I started to have a panic attack and my new found bravado disappeared so I just scrolled up and got out of the chair and let her sit down and I managed to say read that please and I walked out of the room and left her to read my post while I went for a shower. As soon as I walked out I started to full on panic knowing I could not go back and it was out of my hands. I had the fastest shower of my life followed by the longest time looking at a door I have spent in my life as in my head as long as I stayed in the bathroom I was safe. When I finally walked back into the living room the PC was turned off and she was sitting on the sofa and told me sit down and we had a talk. What I didn't think about at all this last week was how weird I have been acting she had noticed me looking at every girl that walked by. I thought I was being sly and looking out of the corner of my eye but she said I was nearly turning around every time I heard the click clack of heels and she wishes she knew I was checking out the shoes rather than the wearer, as she thought I had lost interest in her. Then she told me she felt a little hurt that I thought she would leave me over something as silly as my choice of shoes and socks but could understand why I was so scared. She then asked to see my shoes, I got worried again but told her where they were. She said she wanted to see me in them. At this point I am still not sure if I was exited or terrified. Anyway I put them on and called her into the bedroom wishing my jeans were longer so they would cover them up. When she came in I expected her to laugh or be disgusted but she seemed more surprised and made fun of the fact that my first pair of heels were "stripper heels" that she would struggle to walk in. She then said we would get some lower heels at the weekend from town. Then she left for work. I cannot believe how this all played out if had not have bought those shoes last week while drunk, been able to cancel the order, been able to walk in them, not come here, not posted and not read your posts then my GF would have gone to work today thinking I was going to cheat on her or leave her when all I was worried about was bloody shoes... To be honest I feel like a proper idiot now. Thank you so much for giving the strength to man up. Also sorry about the grammar and spelling I am writing this on my phone while on the way to work.

[partyshoes]

Hey Confused, Well that seems to have worked out for you - you seem to have a very understanding GF. Great to hear how supportive she is being and the fact that she is willing to get you a pair of 'trainer heels' Probably wont be the last time you discuss this but its important that you dont hide anything from her. Its baby steps (and Im not talking about the trainer heels) but good luck - we look forward to hearing more from you soon.

[jay jay]

Great post, Confused...you don't need to be confused anymore. It was less than a year ago that I told my girlfriend (first person I ever told) about my love of wearing heels. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to say, and yet when it was done, I wondered why it was so difficult. She kind of laughed at first, but then wanted to see them on me right away. She has been entirely cool about it and now I wear my heels almost all the time, with the exception of at work and while sleeping. I guess my point is, try to share this with your girlfriend (sooner rather than later), and don't be ashamed. Even if she reacts negatively at first, she will surely come around if she loves you. Having the freedom to wear your heels anytime you want is an awesome feeling.

I agree with all the remarks. My wife let me wear anything that is in the cupboard( we wear the same size shoe a UK8 ) and we even go out and buy shoes for us I have posted pic's of the shoes we bought this weekend and I cannot wait to get home to wear our heels untill it is bed time wear them all weekend at home and am wearing some out with her, will post pic's later on. We have about 50 pairs of shoes and boots between us.

[Confused]

I still cannot believe how much better everything feels today. Yesterday I felt ashamed as if I was a weird pervert that had to hide my new feelings for fear of being outed as some kind of weird freak of nature. Today I am just a bloke that likes shoes. All of my problems were in my own mind. I also think all the guilt and bad feelings was from the fact I was hiding it from my girlfriend rather than liking a different style of shoe than is considered the norm. Anyway thanks again guys I am now back to being me.

[hh4evr1]

Well done on telling your girlfriend. You should be able to find lots of nice heels in regular shops, as you are a uk size 7. Might be a good idea to get some lower heels to get used to walking in heels. Then work your way up to what ever height you want to wear. You may want to take a small tape measure with you at the weekend to check the heel heights as there seem to be alot of higher (5 inch) heels around lately).

[Foxyheels]

I still cannot believe how much better everything feels today. Yesterday I felt ashamed as if I was a weird pervert that had to hide my new feelings for fear of being outed as some kind of weird freak of nature. Today I am just a bloke that likes shoes. All of my problems were in my own mind. I also think all the guilt and bad feelings was from the fact I was hiding it from my girlfriend rather than liking a different style of shoe than is considered the norm.

Anyway thanks again guys I am now back to being me.

So pleased for you that your girlfriend understands, you are exactly right when you say you are just a man who likes high heeled shoes. There are more of us than you think and most of us are very hetro with loving wifes and girlfriends. Carry on as normal and enjoy your shopping at the weekend and let us know how you get on.

As you live in the UK you night want to try New Look or Primark for numerous styles of reasonable priced heels at a good hight for your first pair and at size 7 they will be very easy to get.

[bootmebaby]

You're a lucky guy to have a GF like that...and yes you are still normal. As you have seen by joining this community, there are a lot of men who like to wear heels that are completely "normal"...they just have a fascination with women's shoes and wearing them and that is all. Looking through history, what was considered taboo in the past is commonplace in the future...it's all peoples perceptions. Many people in this world would be better off if they took the approach to things like you do (not caring what people think of you)...it doesn't matter what they think, how you feel is what matters.

Great post, and props to you for having the courage to leave your computer on this page so your GF could find it...good to know that both of you are on the same page now.

[Jinx]

Way to go Confused! I dare to say you made us all very proud of you!

All of my problems were in my own mind.

You nailed it, most of the obstacles are between our own ears...

I also think all the guilt and bad feelings was from the fact I was hiding it from my girlfriend rather than liking a different style of shoe than is considered the norm.

I second that. Been there and done that, but what a relief when you get over it and realize the reasons behind bad feelings... and even more better when your SO/friends/family/'pick you own' turns out supporting you to be who you are.

[Confused]

The more I think about it the more I find the whole situation I had put myself in hilarious. I am a somewhat alternate looking person, I tend to rock a full beard, I wear my hair to the middle of my back after years of growing it and tend to dress like I fell out of a madmax movie. I listen to some very extreme styles of music including death metal and Industrial Dance. I am very used to small minded idiots assuming I am unemployed, a drug user, an alcoholic, gay (because of my hair) or some kind of thug. Even with this I have a good job I am also heavily involved with local politics being on the conservative executive committee for my town and district and I maybe running for a town council position next year. My sheer force of will tends to get me through as I tend to give people two choices, take me as I am or get out of my way before I go through you. The argument of personal style should not dictate what I can and cannot do in life also seems to get me a long way as well. I do wear a suit and tie for work and for a lot of the activities I partake in for the Conservatives but I see that as a uniform I need to don if I wish to earn the wage I am on or be as involved in local politics as I am. Perhaps one day these things will change but alas at the moment the real world is the real world. Now all I need to do is work out where my new love for heels fits into my life and what clowns I may have to run over that attempt to stifle me. P.S. How do you 'thank' people on the forum (I mean the forum mechanic not just typing the words thank you)? As I am mainly using my phone to use this site and I am finding it hard to navigate.

[Puffer]

A very interesting, intelligent and literate account of yourself and your activities, Confused. You are, by your own description, something of an enigma - or perhaps maverick is a better word - in that your appearance, interests and pursuits do not make the most obvious of matches! Unconventional - probably; well-balanced - almost certainly. I don't think you need to be concerned about your emerging feelings for heels. Most of us here have experienced them too - but maybe so long ago that they are simply history and nothing more than marking the first hesitant step along a road that is now increasingly trodden with growing confidence and pleasure. (Forgive the flowery prose - but it does fit ) Your GF is clearly sympathetic - that is one major hurdle which you seem to be clearing with greater ease than many here and a big bonus. You have been given some good supportive advice above. And you are so lucky to have a foot size that can be satisfied in any high street! You will be spoiled for choice when shopping but don't go overboard at first, especially if you plan to street-heel in male mode - and I doubt that you would find it easy to adopt a more feminine persona, even if you wished to. It was suggested above that you check heel heights carefully when browsing; more good advice. A small tape measure or a 6" ruler (easier to use) is certainly useful - or you could mark the side of your thumb in ballpoint at (say) 5" from the tip so that, when you lay your thumb discreetly along a heel, you have a pretty good indication of its true height - I often use that trick. Whatever happens, good luck to you - and let us all know how you get on.

[jwhite44]

... She then said we would get some lower heels at the weekend from town...

It will be interesting to see what she gets for you. Might even be fun if you decide to go out shopping together for them.

In terms of the "rocker" look, I think boots with block-style heels are the best (and is probably what most of those people referred to previously probably wore). They're a lot easiest to pass as man-type shoes, not to mention easier to walk in. Almost every store/brand will probably have ones with 3" - 3 1/2" , which I'd bet you could handle with no problems at all. You can also get ones higher - I have a pair of black ankle boots with a 4 5/8" block heel, that's a great satisfier when your really want "high".

If you want a stilletto heel, that's okay also, although I think little doubt about it, it'll probably attract more attention. Like any newbie, I'd suggest something lower (~3"), something wider (block heel) at the beginning, both to build up your practice at walking in heels, also to help get over the feeling that, "everyone is looking at me". If you aren't walking comfortable, or are feeling insecure, then it's only going to make things worse. You can always go higher and thinner later on. Plus, since you have your GF's support, it's an excuse to say, "I want to get a different pair, let's go out shopping."

Looking forward to reading more about your adventures.

[brake blocks]

Thank you Confused, it's nice to have positive comments from the other half. My wife of 11 years & girl friend for 11 years before we got married, found out from my mother one night early in our relationship, that i wore female shoes. When i was at her parents house one weekend when they were away, my girlfriend took me to her room ang said i want to see what you look like in these, she gave me a pair of kitten heeled slingback shoes size 7, they fitted, then she went one step further and got a dress out and started undressing me. she did get the dress on me and said it looked better on me than her. that was a nice feeling in the early days. Since then she has bought a bra for the bedroom and the odd time chucked some panties towards me for bedroom use, but no footwear. I will have to ask her about that next time, even though i have my own stash of footwear, she does not know about them.

[ShockQueen]

I bet you don't feel crazy anymore, do you Confused? I'm so glad the experience is going well, and she understands that you just enjoy some nicer shoes than plain blokes. Now the path has been cleared, and you can feel much better knowing that it's out in the open and she's open to the idea! Time to do some mutual shopping!

[wobblyheight]

Congratulations Confused for moving forward so quickly. To be honest you don't sound like the sort of guy who stays confused about anything for very long. I've gone through the 'confused stage' but am now in the 'what on earth am I going to do about it stage'. I need to take strength from your example!!!

[las]

Really awesome reading in here, have read everything sofar. I am really pleased to see how this has worked out so well for you - I just wish I had smaller feet... and a GF! I posted the following thread not so long ago - as a fellow metalhead, (not so much the style anyway) I wondered how cool it would be to wear shoes like the ones in my thread to a metal concert. I think I could get away with it, but my height (6"2) plus the heel height might make it harder. http://www.hhplace.org/guys/17831-update_some_new_shoes.html Regardless, keep us posted on how things are progressing Whereabouts are you based, if you don't mind me asking? Best wishes.

[Confused]

I am from Cambridgeshire. As for the boots it would depend on the gig. I do not know what style of metal you are into. If you went to Rammstein or Manson concert I do not think anyone would even notice them. I find the metal community as a whole is pretty damn cool about peoples personal styles anyway. I just showed my girlfriend the picture of those boots and she said if she saw a guy wearing those at a gig she would have to talk to him because they are badass. I don't know what your style is but I think I would go full on gothmetal with those boots and wear leather trousers and a black vest or net shirt and chuck some chunky arse gothic style pewter jewellery on my fingers.

[wood&metal]

Best thread i've read in a while.. Congrads, Confused...

[5.5 Thrill]

Welcome to the club. Where you are, we all have been. Your girl friend is cool and a keeper, treat her well and you and she can have a lot of fun together. You have my support: Thrill P.S. When I started wearing heels they were only 2.5" stillettos now,15 yrs. later, 5" all the time in public and 6" around the house. My wife beside me most of the time.

[bootmebaby]

Welcome to the club. Where you are, we all have been.

Your girl friend is cool and a keeper, treat her well and you and she can have a lot of fun together.

You have my support:

Thrill

P.S. When I started wearing heels they were only 2.5" stillettos now,15 yrs. later, 5" all the time in public and 6" around the house. My wife beside me most of the time.

Thrill, you're a lucky guy yourself as well

[AZShoeNut]

Hello,

Confused, what I love about what you have written is that it is the recent account of the experience of going from a regular guy to a regular guy who digs high heels. You have managed to capture the experience that we all have gone through at some point in our life with the clarity of a mature adult and vividness that only recent experience can bring. I tend to believe that I am not the only guy here who has looked back at the little kid who started wearing heels at age twelve or whatever wondering how high heels became such a big part of our lives. When you said,

My problem is that less than a month ago I was a normal guy with 1 pair of steel toe capped boots for gigs, 1 pair of trainers and some shoes for my suit and I was happy, but now I seem to be obsessed with women’s shoes and stockings

it became clear that at one moment I was a regular 12 year kid who liked building model airplanes and riding his bike with his buddies to a regular 12 year old kid who now liked high heels. For so many years I have tried to figure out why it happened or write a much larger story about how my interest in heels came to be but it was just that simple. In the moment I tried on that first pair of high heels it was like a switch was thrown - boom I liked high heels, gazed at each gal that walked by in a pair of shoes that I liked, and had a burning desire to wear them as often as I could.

I think that what you have shared has helped me to shift my perspective. There does not have to be a bigger story that explains why I like to wear high heels. Many have said this in this forum before however now I get it.

Thank you for sharing.

Best,

Larry

[chris100575]

Congrats confused, glad it worked out well for you! I was lucky with my GF too. By the sounds of it I have a similar dress style / overall look to you. I don't know what shoe size you are, but I have a few pairs of the New Rock Malicia boots like the ones in my avatar and I've been out in them several times to rock / metal clubs and the only comments I've ever had have been positive.