Introductions, first outing & thoughts

[vanheel]

Hello,

Been lurking here for a while now. As far back as I can remember I've had a thing for heels. While I understand that there are all kinds of people and heels are 'just shoes', and wearing them is not committing murder... I still cannot figure out why I was built like this, why the dress-fashion for men is so narrow, and why anything outside of this narrow band is 'weird'. So there's an internal struggle. I have not yet come to grips with this, although for the past 20 years I know this attraction to heels was there, and for the past 10 I've owned and (not as frequently as would have liked) worn my own pairs at home.

Anyhow, married to a great wife (who tolerates heels on me but inside only) with small children at home. Heel wearing in front of the small ones is not done.

Recently I got the strong urge to start wearing heels in public. Already had the long pants for this. At home I didn't have any appropriate heels. After a bit of discreet browsing around, I fell in love with, and ended up buying, these boots:

http://images.sterlingshoes.com/imagematching/images/large/ST27793.jpg

They're about 5" heel with 0.5" platform.

I can usually take a ladies size 10, which makes shopping much easier. Periodically I have to make adjustments to how I wear them (thin socks? hose only? barefoot?), size 11 would be ideal. But this boot was readily available in size 10 black, so no problems. As these are for outings, and I have not worn heels outside, I decided to test it out in a few discreet places. Have a nice long pair of jeans to go with it, they hide about all of the heel, but 1".

A few weeks ago I tried them out in a low traffic area during the day. It was a rocky gravel (snow covered), and walking was a bit difficult. Encountered one person who kept walking by. The experience was phenomenal. Truly exciting. The walk lasted about 30 minutes.

A week ago had to go shopping at a local Walmart for some basic stuff. On the way, I took a side detour into a quiet neighbourhood during the evening. Got there, put on the boots in the car, and went for a walk wearing my long jeans. Walked around an entire block, took about 20 minutes, but it was exciting! Encountered noone really... There were a few people walking by on the other side, but it was dark. As this was on cement, the clicking of the heels took some getting used to. But they sound nice. Had no trouble walking. The shoes were extremely comfortable.

As I got back to the car, I didn't feel like changing back to the regular shoes just yet, so drove to Walmart. Sitting in the car in the parking-lot, for some whatever reason I knew I was going to go in with my heels on. Sat there contemplating this for 15 minutes, but had the distinct feeling that it would be effort for me to change back to regular shoes, and I would be disappointed afterwards. So, truly surprising to me, I went in with heels on with only a slight nervousness. The pants hid everything but ~1".

It was raining slightly, so everything was wet outside. I was totally unprepared for wet heels on linoleum. 6feet from the door, I take a turn and almost fall as the heel slips. Fortunately I recovered immediately as it would have been a personal tragedy (to the entire adventure) if I slip. Not to mention the commotion and the entire scene that would sure to follow. So I vowed to be more careful. Regardless, I almost slipped again. Once I figured out how to walk safely (or the heels just dried?), this stability problem went away and I had no further scares. Walked around Walmart and did my thing, bought what was necessary. In the process, I kept my eyes and ears open for any comments, but saw or heard nothing. I'm sure someone somewhere noticed that something was amiss, but no comments. I bought the stuff I needed and left without incident. It was a great adventure, one I'm sure to repeat.

Althroughout the process, I was wishing for my MP3 player so I could distract myself with some music. But, thanks to reading this forum, and the guys here constantly saying, just wear whatever you want, I just kept repeating "they are just shoes". A few days later, here I am, and my thoughts keep drifting back to the entire adventure. So cool!

vanheel

[Steve63130]

Welcome to this great forum. Thanks for sharing your outing experience. Those are excellent boots for street heeling, and we're glad you didn't fall. Be careful but get lots of practice in, so you can handle the heels easily. It takes time and effort to be good, but it's worth it. We look forward to many more good posts from you! Steve

[loswabs]

Way to go, vanheel!!!!!

[wearheels]

Thanks for the brave story. I love your boots btw. You probably wish your jeans showed more of the heel now right? Its great you have a somewhat accepting wife. Be sure to show your appreciation to her and you might get more acceptance, and fun too. Happy New Year everyone

[marhil711]

First of all, Happy New Year everyone from Germany. 2nd: We all go through these mind games (me thinks) when going out heeling in public, but you will see, you'll get used to it after a few times. Maybe I'm not as flamboyant as Jeff here, wearing skirts and heels. But I've come to the point where I openly wear my heels, not trying to hide them anymore. Nothing very special, just what "Jane Doe" would wear, too. BTW these are gorgeous boots. Keep it up! Cheers Markus

[Dawn HH]

Vanheel:-) Once you have more experience wearing your heels you will be able to manage them on wet and snowy surfaces. Wearing your boots outside will give you lots of experience on walking on any surface that you encounter. Enjoy your heeling and have fun doing so. Welcome to the world of heeling in public. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[roniheels]

Vanheel:-)

Once you have more experience wearing your heels you will be able to manage them on wet and snowy surfaces. Wearing your boots outside will give you lots of experience on walking on any surface that you encounter. Enjoy your heeling and have fun doing so. Welcome to the world of heeling in public.

Cheers---

Dawn HH

Welcome, Vanheel. I can't say it any better than Dawn HH. Those are some gorgeous high heeled boots. Your public heeling experience sounded fun and exciting. Good luck on future outings and welcome again.

[Bubba136]

Welcome to hhplace, Vanheel Great boots and a great testimonial to wearing heels in public. It's only natural that, given the mindset of current society, a person would be very apprehensive on their first time out. You handled it beautifully. While caution diminishes, it's still there and causes one to take extra care when ambling through public settings.

[vector]

Vanheel, Congrats on your "Big Adventure"!!

[JeffB]

Welcome aboard, Vanheel! Hope you enjoy the experience here. The first time out and about in heels is both thrilling and a little frightening too, but once you get that initial outing under your belt, you'll soon hunger for more. By all means, keep us appraised about your future outings.

[Tech]

It's only natural that, given the mindset of current society, a person would be very apprehensive on their first time out.

What mindset? Are you saying you know the mindset of society? Of everybody? Bloody hell man, saying such negative things like this really serves only to re-enforce any worries people already have, when the exact opposite is true. There is no "mindset of society" because were all different, everybody has different opinions, this website proves that, so how can society share a mindset?

The only thing we do know for sure is that the world and their pets dont give a crap what you wear...

[Iamme]

Welcome Vanheel! First of all my best 2010 wishes to you as well. I agree with you, I sure wish people would be more open minded. But there are very few people who are... It's great that you have a wife that tolerates you wearing heels, even if it's only inside the house. I don't know how long she already knows about your passion, but maybe she still needs to get used to it. Maybe she'll tolerates you wearing heels in public in due time. I wonder why heeling in front of the small ones is so bad. I mean, if they are still toddlers, I think one would be able to raise them with the thought of men wearing high heels is perfectly normal. That's how I want to raise my future kids, at least. (almost 19 years old on my end, so yeah.. Not quite the time for kids yet!) I sure want some open-minded kids! Great story for a first outing! I'm sure that was a really exciting and fun experience! Keep us posted!

[Bubba136]

What mindset? Are you saying you know the mindset of society? Of everybody? Bloody hell man, saying such negative things like this really serves only to re-enforce any worries people already have, when the exact opposite is true. There is no "mindset of society" because were all different, everybody has different opinions, this website proves that, so how can society share a mindset?

The only thing we do know for sure is that the world and their pets dont give a crap what you wear...

Chill out, man....

There are a many, many more people wandering the streets of this world that view any participation in "alternative lifestyles" as deviant sexual behavior than approve of it. You cannot say the exact opposite is true-- otherwise you would see as many men wearing heels and doing other thiings in public as you do wearing earrings and long hair.

If you can't positively prove that my statement is entirely wrong...which you can't......then, regardless of how much you might wish that your are correct, or wish what you say is true, I'm closer to being right than you are.

[Dawn HH]

I think that more than one needs to chile out in this case. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[vanheel]

Hello,

Happy New Year!

Thanks for the brave story. I love your boots btw. You probably wish your jeans showed more of the heel now right? Its great you have a somewhat accepting wife. Be sure to show your appreciation to her and you might get more acceptance, and fun too. Happy New Year everyone

At this point, I'm quite happy to have the heel hidden. I don't think it was possible to see the heels. Someone who looked carefully could probably tell either by a) how I walked, or the size of my feet were too small.

I love my wife, if she's totally against public outings, I'll give it up for a bit. Hopefully it won't be a total lack of outings, we'll see. I'll bring up the topic with her again in a bit.

Once you have more experience wearing your heels you will be able to manage them on wet and snowy surfaces. Wearing your boots outside will give you lots of experience on walking on any surface that you encounter. Enjoy your heeling and have fun doing so. Welcome to the world of heeling in public.

Thanks. I figured it would be different than doing it inside, but was not prepared for that almost-slip. Is this something that just comes with practice?

Welcome aboard, Vanheel! Hope you enjoy the experience here. The first time out and about in heels is both thrilling and a little frightening too, but once you get that initial outing under your belt, you'll soon hunger for more. By all means, keep us appraised about your future outings.

Hehe. The hunger is there... the opportunity is not. It'll probably be a bit rarer event then I hope. It WAS fun.

I agree with you, I sure wish people would be more open minded. But there are very few people who are... It's great that you have a wife that tolerates you wearing heels, even if it's only inside the house. I don't know how long she already knows about your passion, but maybe she still needs to get used to it. Maybe she'll tolerates you wearing heels in public in due time.

Thanks. We've talked about this from the beginning, when I became curious enough to want to buy my own pair. Have had the fascination with heels long before then.

Time will tell if she is accepting of outside wearing. At this point I don't want to flaunt it, just be discreet. And (no offense to anyone) I assure her I have no interest in wearing anything else classified as 'female'. Nor am I interested in men.

I wonder why heeling in front of the small ones is so bad. I mean, if they are still toddlers, I think one would be able to raise them with the thought of men wearing high heels is perfectly normal. That's how I want to raise my future kids, at least. (almost 19 years old on my end, so yeah.. Not quite the time for kids yet!) I sure want some open-minded kids!

Well... Good question. At this point I rather not let anyone know unnecessarily, and kids can't keep a secret.

Thanks for all the support. The messages in the posts from this forum came through loud and clear: "Noone cares what you wear". At least that's what I kept telling myself. With that same philosophy I'm sure I would be more comfortable venturing outside again. Years ago, when this thought crossed my mind, I was petrified. I'll definitely keep an eye out for a meetup near where I live. Would be a cool experience.

vanheel

[luvmaryjanes]

My first outing will be on one of the Walk a Mile in Her shoes walks this spring. I've been wearing mine in the house now for 11 hours. My wife is fairly adjusted to it now. I told her at first it was a bit difficult. She told me it just takes time. SO ... practice I must!

[scrappycoco]

Well... Good question. At this point I rather not let anyone know unnecessarily, and kids can't keep a secret.

First let me say welcome and happy new year. If you look back at some of my post you will see I have been through some rather bad way's for people to find out that I wear heels and skirt's! Look back through my post and you will see what I am talking about.

Anyway as far as my kids where concerned I didn't hide it from them as far as heels and skirts go. i want to raise both of my kids to see past the stereo typical this is male this is female colthing and see people for who they are! People! I don't want my kids to think oh I can't date that guy cause he's diffrent than other men, or I have to make fun of that girl becuase she's diffrent than me. I have tried to get my kids to understand that people are people. We are all different form each other! As a very wise women once told me "If we where all the same in this world it would be a very boring place to live!" So that is why I do not hide that fact that I am who I am from my kid's and I think they respect me for it. I'm not trying to tell you what to do with your kids I'm just offering advise. So with that being said I hope thing's with your wife work out to where you can where the shoes that you want and just be you! Congrat's on your outing and welcome once again!

[jwhite44]

The problem with scrappycoco's approach ("...I'll wear anything...") is that's great in an open society, but not great when everyone else has different opinions. Your kids may not have a problem with what you wear, but what happens if they are at a friends house, see their mother's heels by the door, and say, "My dad wears a pair just like them..." If one of the parents overhears that, they might raise an eyebrow, to perhaps saying, "I don't want my child hanging out with kids whose parents are freaks". Is this right? No. But that's the world we live, and it would be irresponsible not to be aware of it. It's not to say you can't do it - I'm sure a family where both parents are men (gay) or women (lesbian) would attract just as much attention. It's foolish to think that, in current society, there won't be issues with that. Adults just have to decide which issues they want to make a statement on, and which ones are better left private.

[Bubba136]

First let me say welcome and happy new year. If you look back at some of my post you will see I have been through some rather bad way's for people to find out that I wear heels and skirt's! Look back through my post and you will see what I am talking about.

Anyway as far as my kids where concerned I didn't hide it from them as far as heels and skirts go. i want to raise both of my kids to see past the stereo typical this is male this is female colthing and see people for who they are! People! I don't want my kids to think oh I can't date that guy cause he's diffrent than other men, or I have to make fun of that girl becuase she's diffrent than me. I have tried to get my kids to understand that people are people. We are all different form each other! As a very wise women once told me "If we where all the same in this world it would be a very boring place to live!" So that is why I do not hide that fact that I am who I am from my kid's and I think they respect me for it. I'm not trying to tell you what to do with your kids I'm just offering advise. So with that being said I hope thing's with your wife work out to where you can where the shoes that you want and just be you! Congrat's on your outing and welcome once again!

My Congratulations on harboring such a forgiving philosophy. "A judge you shall not be because who are you to judge me when you do not and cannot know what is in my heart."

[Dawn HH]

Luvmaryjanes:-) I have a soft spot for Mary Janes also. Welcome to the HH Place. Cheers-- Dawn HH

[scrappycoco]

The problem with scrappycoco's approach ("...I'll wear anything...") is that's great in an open society, but not great when everyone else has different opinions. Your kids may not have a problem with what you wear, but what happens if they are at a friends house, see their mother's heels by the door, and say, "My dad wears a pair just like them..." If one of the parents overhears that, they might raise an eyebrow, to perhaps saying, "I don't want my child hanging out with kids whose parents are freaks".

Is this right? No. But that's the world we live, and it would be irresponsible not to be aware of it. It's not to say you can't do it - I'm sure a family where both parents are men (gay) or women (lesbian) would attract just as much attention. It's foolish to think that, in current society, there won't be issues with that. Adults just have to decide which issues they want to make a statement on, and which ones are better left private.

Jwhite44 here is my whole thought on this subject. I have spent the last few years trying to figure out why I like certain things. I have even seen a counselor to me understand things. Here are a few words of wisdom from her.1) people fear what they do not understand.2) by hiding the fact u are telling people that even u think its wrong. Now granted u do not have to run around and say hay look at me I dress differantly then other men, but by hiding the fact they ar3 more apt to think u are some kind of pervert. I am in no way telling anyone how to raise there kids. All I am trying to do is offer some advise from experience. I know that there are other parents out there that may not agree with are choice in shoes. But I also now that there are parents out there that wont like that some people choice to drink and smoke. I understand that is socially acceptable but until we start trying to change peoples minds nothing will ever change.

[jwhite44]

I'm not saying you need to change. In fact to a degree I give you credit for what you're doing. My main point was just that if your kids are the ones relaying your lifestyle (at least part of it) to other adults, it may not come across the way you want it to. If strangers are the one seeing you in heels, really no big deal. But parents of children your children might be dealing with for years, I just think you need to be extra careful with that situation. It's always tricky to know whether you should show or hide non-standard behavior. I don't think there's a right answer. Good luck with however you approach it.

[paulee]

Hey, those are really nice boots !!! where did you get them at ?? I dont think too many people pay attention to what your wearing unless its something really off the wall [loud color] if men can wear those ugly crocks out whynot high heeled boots as long as it tastefully done .

[Bubba136]

My Congratulations on harboring such a forgiving philosophy. "A judge you shall not be because who are you to judge me when you do not and cannot know what is in my heart."

By the way, my statement here is "tongue in cheek".....I happen to believe this whole philosophy you are spouting is one hell of a big crock. Given what you believe, I guess you should include rapists and child molesters because they're "just people, too."

[spiker]

By the way, my statement here is "tongue in cheek".....I happen to believe this whole philosophy you are spouting is one hell of a big crock. Given what you believe, I guess you should include rapists and child molesters because they're "just people, too."

I'm sorry...much as I don't want to get in the middle of this, did you just compare a man who wears skirts and heels to rapists and child molesters?

I'm hoping not, as we all know there is a big difference between people who are different that hurt other people, and people who are different and do not.

Spiker.

[HappyFeat]

Please forgive me, but I would like to congratulate vanheel on his outing and say those are fantastic boots to wear on any outing, let alone a first. I believe that was the purpose of the thread... Welcome to the forum and feel free to share your future adventures.... As for the rest of the discussion...is Godwin's Law limited to Nazis and Hitler or do rapist and child molesters kind of apply....

[vanheel]

Hello,

First off, apologize for the absence, life got in the way and barely had a chance to go out heeling or log onto this website. Neither was out of my thoughts for long though!

Anyway, finally had a chance yesterday to go out a bit. Same boots (as I only have one for outside right now). I had to take care of a few things someplace where people know me, so the plan was to park the car, then go on a little hike, go back to the car and change shoes to go to my meetings. Driving with those heels is certainly different than usual driving. Was extra careful. Anyway, parked the car, and had to go some distance to purchase tickets. For whatever reason I could not get the courage to go. Just didn't work. Sat there contemplating, but didn't work out.

Changed shoes and went to my meetings without the hike. Took my boots in my backpack though. Did not want to loose this chance completely.

After everything was done, I'd remembered there is a very long "short-cut" I could take. Instead of 5 minutes, it's like a 20 minute walk on a quiet street with barely a sidewalk. So after the meetings, I took the long-cut. Changed into the boots along the way and went the rest of the back to my car. I'd never gone that way, and expected some sort of sidewalk. Ended up walking along gravel and wet grass and a bit of mud. My ankles went out a bit once in a while, but no huge problems. Although it was not what I expected, it was FUN. Encountered a few people, nothing happened.

Really love the boots.

During the walk, I encountered pavement with tiny tiny little rocks on them. Walking on that I'd thought the heels broke off because they were moving about a bit before settling down as I was walking. It was very weird and at one point I seriously thought I broke something in the heel. An inspection in the car confirmed that nothing happened. The boot is still in excellent condition.

Hey, those are really nice boots !!! where did you get them at ?? I dont think too many people pay attention to what your wearing unless its something really off the wall [loud color] if men can wear those ugly crocks out whynot high heeled boots as long as it tastefully done .

They were bought at the ShoeWarehouse up here in Canada.

As has been said here, the problem is in our minds. I agree with you. I intend to practice and practice, even though I have to be discreet about it around my family. It would be better if my wife supported it, but she doesn't.

The rest of my outfit I choose to match the boots. About 1-2" of the heel would show. Black jeans, gray sweater, and nice classy black leather jacket. I think it looked good.

My main point was just that if your kids are the ones relaying your lifestyle (at least part of it) to other adults, it may not come across the way you want it to. If strangers are the one seeing you in heels, really no big deal. But parents of children your children might be dealing with for years, I just think you need to be extra careful with that situation.

It's always tricky to know whether you should show or hide non-standard behavior. I don't think there's a right answer.

I wish it was easy and there was no taboo. But there is. Even at home. I would not expect my kids to be able to keep such a secret, even if unintentionally they will let it slip. I rather not influence their friends, or make them feel upset if this came out at school and they got teased.

Please forgive me, but I would like to congratulate vanheel on his outing and say those are fantastic boots to wear on any outing, let alone a first. I believe that was the purpose of the thread...

Thank you for the encouragement. I've worn heels at home for quite a while. I would go with much lower heels if my wife was open to negotiation, but she is not. I personally don't see the point of 2" heels, if I go outside, I want to go outside in something proper. I love the look of those boots, and I think they look good. I can walk in them pretty well.

Welcome to the forum and feel free to share your future adventures....

As for the rest of the discussion...is Godwin's Law limited to Nazis and Hitler or do rapist and child molesters kind of apply....

Don't know how that got into the thread.

Thank you everyone for the encouragement. Without the forum, I wouldn't be adventuring outside.

vanheel

[vanheel]

Was able to repeat my little hike again. This time however I went a bit further, and it was 2pm. At one point someone was walking behind me (~100m) for quite a bit. Didn't pay too much attention to them as was enjoying the entire experience. There were no incidents however. When I first stood up after changing into the boots, I noticed that they just felt 'right'. Will try to visit a store the first chance I get. Life is busy so it might be a short while. vanheel

[vanheel]

Had time to reflect on these outings. A couple of observations: - I don't know what it is, but I definitely work up a sweat when wearing heels outside. Yesterday's little hike was about 30 minutes, which usually I would be able to do without thinking. This time however, by the time I finished, I was drenched. Noone cared or commented, and it was a lot of fun, but I don't know why I get drenched. It was cold outside and I was dressed appropriately. - I tend to hurry. The #1 problem seems to be that I hurry, and don't pay proper attention to where I do, posture, etc. I think things tend to look more natural if I'm not trying to run a marathon, but taking my time. - The few people I passed, or could have seen me from the passing cars, I noticed that my main worry was that I don't know them. Didn't rather care that they noticed my getup, just do not wish to meet people I know just yet. Any suggestions? vanheel

[marhil711]

- I don't know what it is, but I definitely work up a sweat when wearing heels outside. Yesterday's little hike was about 30 minutes, which usually I would be able to do without thinking. This time however, by the time I finished, I was drenched. Noone cared or commented, and it was a lot of fun, but I don't know why I get drenched. It was cold outside and I was dressed appropriately.

Sounds familiar, that's just nerves for me, so maybe it's the same for you. It still happens to me ever after all these years of public heeling. Maybe it's something that we never really can overcome.

- I tend to hurry. The #1 problem seems to be that I hurry, and don't pay proper attention to where I do, posture, etc. I think things tend to look more natural if I'm not trying to run a marathon, but taking my time.

Same as above, nerves:nervous:.

- The few people I passed, or could have seen me from the passing cars, I noticed that my main worry was that I don't know them. Didn't rather care that they noticed my getup, just do not wish to meet people I know just yet.

Isn't it amazing how much we all feel the same, because again it's the very same for me.

Greets

Markus