heelguy's adventures

HHFAN1 · May 18, 2012

sorry for almost hijacking your thread heelguy wat have you been up to latly

heelguy · June 29, 2012

So there's been a huge change in my life and heels. I am now completely open about it with anyone and everyone, it's there for everybody to see and it feels amazing!

read my post about it here in the "heels and parents" thread:

http://www.hhplace.org/topic/19614-heels-and-parents/page__st__20#entry291973

Steve63130 · June 29, 2012

G'day, Heelguy! You're liberated! Good on yer for that, mate! Steve

heelguy · July 19, 2012

I've been off here for a little while now. Big changes have happened in my life and it's been a very emotional month. My dad quit his job with a certain German automotive company that he's been with for over 30 years to come and join us doing timber flooring with the intention of me and him starting out on our own doing floors once he has gained enough experience. We'd been put together to only do jobs for the one company but through the company we work for, so we were together all day everyday. Anyway one day driving home from work in the van 'Dude looks like a lady' comes on the radio and he looks at me and starts laughing in a jokey way, which I didn't mind, to me it showed that he's gotten more used to my creativity and has acknowledged me for it. That night I was in high spirits about my situation and I decided "To hell with it! I'm not hiding it from anybody, anymore!". So I posted a full length picture of me (which you will see at the bottom of this post) up on Facebook for the world and his mate to see. Straight away I was getting lots and lots of positive feedback with alot of my friends saying how proud of me they are for being so open and comfortable about it and that yea it's a shock but they're proud and accepting none the less, alot of these are also male friends saying this by the way! I was feeling so incredibly happy and on a high! Now you should also know that due to happenings around a month before this, I deleted my dad and his fiance off of my facebook friends list so they could no longer see my posts. I walked into the living room and I asked my dad if he got the picture I sent to him (i'd sent him another random picture not in any way related to the one I posted on FB). He looked at me and said "I'm more concerned about the picture you've put on FB". I looked at him with a confused face and said "Why? :S" to which he simply replied "Oh fuck off, it's fucking disgusting". The moment those words came out of his mouth I just forgot everything I was doing and decided that this is it, i'm leaving the house. So I grabbed my 2 suitcases, packed them absolutely crammed full with everything I could, and I stuffed literally everything I own into my tiny little 2 door coupe and made the 10 hour drive all the way from my house in Melbourne to my Girlfriend's place in Sydney (this was at around 11.30pm at night, i'd been up since 6am and worked until 5pm that day also). I was such a mess, I was in tears that this could have even happened, I went from everybody around me being so kind and accepting and proud of me for who I was, to one of the closest people to me telling me i'm disgusting and completely hating me for who I am. All this happening just day's away from my 22nd Birthday too. I arrived in Sydney on the morning of Wednesday 4th July at my Girlfriend's place. Booked the hotel that I always stay in (her mother didn't even know about what I wear and still didn't let me stay at their house for some BS reason) and spent the rest of the week and weekend there, 'celebrating' my birthday on the Sunday there with her and her family. My Girl actually bought me a gorgeous pair of pink high heels for my birthday but unfortunately they didn't fit so she exchanged them for a pair of black glittery peep toes which she still has and i'll get them off her when I see her next . I received a text during those few days from my dad apologising for everything and asking me to go back when I was ready. I decided that i'd go back on the Monday, not because I was ready, but because I knew I'd run out of money sometime and would eventually have to go back, so I brought my Girlfriend back with me and we spent the week together down here in Melbourne. Once back in Melbourne, absolutely nothing was said about what happened between either me and my dad or his fiance. Needless to say the tension in the house was sky high but nobody was game enough to say anything :/ My girlfriend flew home to Sydney last Sunday, and it was only last night that me and my dad finally had a talk about what happened. He said that he still disagreed with me for putting it on facebook, but I simply told him that it wasn't his choice to make, it's mine. I also made a point that telling people individually would make it more of an issue than it really needs to be. I asked him who it was that informed him of me putting the picture up but he would not say, and I asked him if that person also showed him the comments people were leaving and he said that they didn't. So I showed him a few of the comments that people he knows had left, all of them along the lines of "Well done! Fair play! Good on you!" etc.. all he said was "oh okay". I told him that I really couldn't care less what anybody thinks of me, but that I care what he thinks and I ended up in tears again! (what a wuss! ) but it was good, we ended up hugging it out The tension has now lessened in the house a whole lot after we had that talk last night about it, I think he thinks it's all gone and sorted now, but I can't help still feel a little uneasy, I guess in time i'll get over that though. My dad also said that there is 1 good thing that's come out of this and that it's good that everybody now knows, so he won't be questioned about it for much longer as time goes on, that was the main thing he hated was people asking him about it and he didn't know what to say, but i'd told him time and time again to just be straight with them and even just tell them to come directly to me! but people are snoops and bitches and won't come directly to the source when it's a subject like this I guess... Anyway that's been my life in heels up until today! Hope everybody else is doing well! To conclude my feelings on this all, I guess all I can say is that IF you are considering being open about who you are and what you wear, make sure you're prepared to go on an emotional roller-coaster and possibly even lose the people you least expect to lose over those you would usually assume would be the ones to say goodbye! Thanks for reading, Heelguy Dress - Cooper St Shoes - Tony Bianco

Steve63130 · July 19, 2012

G'day, Heelguy, and welcome back. We've missed you. Wow, what a story, but at least it's pointing to a happy ending, and that's important. You've obviously gone a lot further than many of us in adopting feminine clothing besides just shoes. The farther you stray (I would have used the word deviate, but that has bad vibes) from the norm for male apparel, the greater your chances of encountering people who cannot handle it. Your father's behavior was unfortunate, but your love for each other seems to have won out and patched up the differences. I hope you continue to bond and work together, and he comes around to changing his view on men in clothing marketed to females. Get him a pair of heels in his size to wear and enjoy! Tell him what he's missing out on! In retrospect, although you can't replay the video, more communications and a few baby steps might have eased the shock. You kind of hit your dad with a heavy sledge hammer, and he was totally unprepared for what he saw. Parents have expectations for their children and your photo was way off his radar screen. You might want to ask him what goofy styles he wore back in the 70s and 80s. That ought to knock him down a rung on the ladder! Good luck, mate. Keep being true to yourself, but remember to honor and love your father! Maybe we can meet up next time I'm in Melbourne (possibly 2013). Steve

Edited July 19, 2012 by Steve63130

Shafted · July 19, 2012

Wow, am I glad I haven't had to go through a drama like that heelguy. But taking the feminine dressing to more of an extreme for some of us it is kind of to be expected. In any case I'm glad things are working out.

SleekHeels · July 20, 2012

Thanks for being so open about what you've been going through, for sure it'll be a lot of help to any readers facing a similar situation. I also admire the way that your dad "got over" the culture shock - it's hard enough for our own generation to manage to shake off prejudice and cultural conditioning, let alone for the previous generation to adjust (also it must be a huge change for him leaving the job he started 8 years before you were even born!). Good luck to both of you going forwards.

skirtedvik · July 20, 2012

I've been off here for a little while now. Big changes have happened in my life and it's been a very emotional month.

My dad quit his job with a certain German automotive company that he's been with for over 30 years to come and join us doing timber flooring with the intention of me and him starting out on our own doing floors once he has gained enough experience. We'd been put together to only do jobs for the one company but through the company we work for, so we were together all day everyday. Anyway one day driving home from work in the van 'Dude looks like a lady' comes on the radio and he looks at me and starts laughing in a jokey way, which I didn't mind, to me it showed that he's gotten more used to my creativity and has acknowledged me for it.

That night I was in high spirits about my situation and I decided "To hell with it! I'm not hiding it from anybody, anymore!". So I posted a full length picture of me (which you will see at the bottom of this post) up on Facebook for the world and his mate to see. Straight away I was getting lots and lots of positive feedback with alot of my friends saying how proud of me they are for being so open and comfortable about it and that yea it's a shock but they're proud and accepting none the less, alot of these are also male friends saying this by the way! I was feeling so incredibly happy and on a high!

Now you should also know that due to happenings around a month before this, I deleted my dad and his fiance off of my facebook friends list so they could no longer see my posts.

I walked into the living room and I asked my dad if he got the picture I sent to him (i'd sent him another random picture not in any way related to the one I posted on FB). He looked at me and said "I'm more concerned about the picture you've put on FB". I looked at him with a confused face and said "Why? :S" to which he simply replied "Oh fuck off, it's fucking disgusting".

The moment those words came out of his mouth I just forgot everything I was doing and decided that this is it, i'm leaving the house. So I grabbed my 2 suitcases, packed them absolutely crammed full with everything I could, and I stuffed literally everything I own into my tiny little 2 door coupe and made the 10 hour drive all the way from my house in Melbourne to my Girlfriend's place in Sydney (this was at around 11.30pm at night, i'd been up since 6am and worked until 5pm that day also).

I was such a mess, I was in tears that this could have even happened, I went from everybody around me being so kind and accepting and proud of me for who I was, to one of the closest people to me telling me i'm disgusting and completely hating me for who I am. All this happening just day's away from my 22nd Birthday too.

I arrived in Sydney on the morning of Wednesday 4th July at my Girlfriend's place. Booked the hotel that I always stay in (her mother didn't even know about what I wear and still didn't let me stay at their house for some BS reason) and spent the rest of the week and weekend there, 'celebrating' my birthday on the Sunday there with her and her family. My Girl actually bought me a gorgeous pair of pink high heels for my birthday but unfortunately they didn't fit so she exchanged them for a pair of black glittery peep toes which she still has and i'll get them off her when I see her next . I received a text during those few days from my dad apologising for everything and asking me to go back when I was ready. I decided that i'd go back on the Monday, not because I was ready, but because I knew I'd run out of money sometime and would eventually have to go back, so I brought my Girlfriend back with me and we spent the week together down here in Melbourne.

Once back in Melbourne, absolutely nothing was said about what happened between either me and my dad or his fiance. Needless to say the tension in the house was sky high but nobody was game enough to say anything :/ My girlfriend flew home to Sydney last Sunday, and it was only last night that me and my dad finally had a talk about what happened. He said that he still disagreed with me for putting it on facebook, but I simply told him that it wasn't his choice to make, it's mine. I also made a point that telling people individually would make it more of an issue than it really needs to be. I asked him who it was that informed him of me putting the picture up but he would not say, and I asked him if that person also showed him the comments people were leaving and he said that they didn't. So I showed him a few of the comments that people he knows had left, all of them along the lines of "Well done! Fair play! Good on you!" etc.. all he said was "oh okay". I told him that I really couldn't care less what anybody thinks of me, but that I care what he thinks and I ended up in tears again! (what a wuss! ) but it was good, we ended up hugging it out

The tension has now lessened in the house a whole lot after we had that talk last night about it, I think he thinks it's all gone and sorted now, but I can't help still feel a little uneasy, I guess in time i'll get over that though. My dad also said that there is 1 good thing that's come out of this and that it's good that everybody now knows, so he won't be questioned about it for much longer as time goes on, that was the main thing he hated was people asking him about it and he didn't know what to say, but i'd told him time and time again to just be straight with them and even just tell them to come directly to me! but people are snoops and bitches and won't come directly to the source when it's a subject like this I guess...

Anyway that's been my life in heels up until today! Hope everybody else is doing well! To conclude my feelings on this all, I guess all I can say is that IF you are considering being open about who you are and what you wear, make sure you're prepared to go on an emotional roller-coaster and possibly even lose the people you least expect to lose over those you would usually assume would be the ones to say goodbye!

Thanks for reading,

Heelguy

Dress - Cooper St

Shoes - Tony Bianco

You look great,a true freestyler you seem to be.You have my full support and keep posting pictures in various outfits

.

heelguy · July 21, 2012

Thankyou to everyone that took the time out to read my post, it's been a crazy month and things are still settling down.

G'day, Heelguy, and welcome back. We've missed you.

In retrospect, although you can't replay the video, more communications and a few baby steps might have eased the shock. You kind of hit your dad with a heavy sledge hammer, and he was totally unprepared for what he saw. Parents have expectations for their children and your photo was way off his radar screen.

Steve

Thanks Steve, I understand completely what you mean about baby steps easing the shock. That might have been better for him, but for me, this is how I wanted to go about it, and at the end of the day it wasn't his decision to make, it was mine and it would always have been mine. That probably sounds extremely selfish, but if you can't make yourself happy then nobody can and you'll be no good to help make other people happy either, and isn't that a major aspect of living life? being happy?

Wow, it really takes an extraordinary amount of courage for you to endure the emotional highs and lows you've been through with your dad. I hope your dad is eventually able to feel comfortable with knowing that your outward appearance has nothing to do with the state of your heart for him and that true love isn't inhibited by socially constructed gender stereotypes.

Thanks Kneehighs, I don't expect him to ever understand, I think now this has all happened, time is all that will make things easier

Wow, am I glad I haven't had to go through a drama like that heelguy. But taking the feminine dressing to more of an extreme for some of us it is kind of to be expected. In any case I'm glad things are working out.

Thanks Shafted, I hope nobody has to have any family drama's to do with anything, just be prepared to be strong enough if it ever does happen

Thanks for being so open about what you've been going through, for sure it'll be a lot of help to any readers facing a similar situation. I also admire the way that your dad "got over" the culture shock - it's hard enough for our own generation to manage to shake off prejudice and cultural conditioning, let alone for the previous generation to adjust (also it must be a huge change for him leaving the job he started 8 years before you were even born!). Good luck to both of you going forwards.

Thanks SleekHeels, I love coming here and letting you all know how things are going with me as I feel it's a place where I dont get judged and I can be open about it all. Plus knowing that somebody here might read this and take even the slightest bit of inspiration from it is something I get a big kick out of

You look great,a true freestyler you seem to be.You have my full support and keep posting pictures in various outfits .

Thanks skirtedvik!

Jimnj3 · July 21, 2012

Thankyou to everyone that took the time out to read my post, it's been a crazy month and things are still settling down.

Thanks Steve, I understand completely what you mean about baby steps easing the shock. That might have been better for him, but for me, this is how I wanted to go about it, and at the end of the day it wasn't his decision to make, it was mine and it would always have been mine. That probably sounds extremely selfish, but if you can't make yourself happy then nobody can and you'll be no good to help make other people happy either, and isn't that a major aspect of living life? being happy?

Thanks Kneehighs, I don't expect him to ever understand, I think now this has all happened, time is all that will make things easier

Thanks Shafted, I hope nobody has to have any family drama's to do with anything, just be prepared to be strong enough if it ever does happen

Thanks SleekHeels, I love coming here and letting you all know how things are going with me as I feel it's a place where I dont get judged and I can be open about it all. Plus knowing that somebody here might read this and take even the slightest bit of inspiration from it is something I get a big kick out of

Thanks skirtedvik!

Heelguy,

I believe we all get inspiration reading your post's. I know I do and appreciate you keeping us up on what is happening in your life. Hopefully all will settle down with your Dad in time. Please keep us up to date with how all is going now that you have come out to all. Your picture looks great by the way. If only I had the body to wear styles like you.

Hang in there as we are all with you for support.

Steve63130 · July 21, 2012

Thanks Steve, I understand completely what you mean about baby steps easing the shock. That might have been better for him, but for me, this is how I wanted to go about it, and at the end of the day it wasn't his decision to make, it was mine and it would always have been mine. That probably sounds extremely selfish, but if you can't make yourself happy then nobody can and you'll be no good to help make other people happy either, and isn't that a major aspect of living life? being happy?

G'day, Heelguy,

I would agree that it was your decision to make, not his. However, I would (politely) argue that the outcome of your decision DIDN'T make you happy, at least not immediately and from what I gather, not yet. Sometimes you can win another person over to your camp with sweetness and communication instead of a steadfast "Here is my position, take it or leave it!" I would agree that making yourself happy is important, but I would have advised a softer approach that would have had a less dramatic negative result. In other words, I think you could have achieved your goal of winning your father over and getting him to understand and accept you without upsetting him to the degree you did. You really hit him hard. Yes, a more considerate approach would probably take longer, but at the end of the day, neither of you would have been as stressed out. There are lots of ways to come out of the closet, and in retrospect, your path caused both of you some pain and agony.

Just my opinion. I hope you both patch up your differences soon and get on with your relationship. An Aussie friend of ours always says, GOMO! - Get Over it and Move On!

Steve

radiodave · July 22, 2012

Hi Heelguy, I've read most of these posts, and I've enjoyed them. I especially like the ones from this pos http://www.hhplace.o...400#entry283137 . That's a nice look, and kudos to you for having the guts to wear black suede platforms out. Nice legs by the way.

Sorry for the stress you're going through with your folks right now. Praying for you and your family, and I hope things improve. Believe it or not, reading your posts helped me regain some confidence in myself. Some long-time members have told me I gave them confidence based on my own adventures, so I can say it works both ways and you may have helped me regain confidence without even realizing it.

Take care, and I hope your adventures continue.

Edited July 22, 2012 by radiodave

Gudulitooo · July 23, 2012

He looked at me and said "I'm more concerned about the picture you've put on FB".

Hi Heelguy,

I have to say I am so impressed by the way you survive all these adventures and emotions. I just wouldn't dare get myself into similar ones. Wow did you know it is also possible to spare yourself (or at least take some rest before engaging yourself in the next adventure )

Anyway I admire your courage and your will : not only you want to be free to wear what you want, but also you will not leave your loved ones, nor lying to them. An example.

A small note : parenting is the hardest thing in the world. And worst, parenting, and figuring out how to integrate children's values into its own reference, and decide which has to be adapted in which circumstance.

benno · July 23, 2012

Heelguy. Just keep on doing it. I'm sure that all will work out. You have done so much in so little time and for that I take my hat off to you.

jarod81 · July 23, 2012

Wow mate thats a lot of highs and lows to go through. Like you, for me it's not just the shoes but clothes as well and I remember telling my parents. I was scared as hell and had no idea how things would turn out. Mum was totally ok with it, but my dad with his somewhat of a religious back ground took a while to get use to it but after 2 years appears to be pretty good with it. Unlike you though the one thing I regreat the most is not doing it earlier. I was 28 when I decided that I wanted to wear what I've always wanted to but thought that I couldn't and I personally have so much respect for you for being so open at your age and I think most of us are on here. Advice I can give, dads are dads and it will take some time to fully be comfortable with it but remember he'll always love you for you.

heelguy · July 29, 2012

Thanks again everybody for your response's! Last night I was invited over to a friend's place that I hadn't seen for a while for a BBQ, I was tossing up in my head all day long whether to go in heels or be boring and normal. At the last minute I messaged my friend who invited me and asked her if she was wearing heels and she said she wasn't but that if I wanted to then it wouldn't be a problem and I had nothing to worry about So as I got dressed I put on my skinny blue jeans, threw on a grey hoody because it was pretty cold last night! and to match it up a little bit I wore my grey heels. My friends only live around the corner from me so it took literally 2 minutes to drive there, but when I got there, there were 2 guys there who I'd never met before, but I was introduced and they all welcomed me and shook my hand like normal. About an hour later 3 more people i'd never met showed up, 2 guys 1 girl, all introduced like before and nothing was said and I was spoken to just like normal. It felt so good after everything that's happened in the past month, to finally be out, enjoying the company of friends, being open about who I am and wearing what I wanted just like normal It was actually a completely uneventful night, just one I really enjoyed as I got to wear heels. I like to think I even made new friends, and still having the ability to do that whilst being upfront about who I am is really a great feeling! For anyone who's interested here's a pic of the outfit I wore, it's very tame, but perfect I felt as it wasn't dressy at all and the weather was pretty chilly

Edited July 29, 2012 by heelguy

Berg · July 29, 2012

Nice picture and story HeelGuy, feel free to post more. Thanks.

Shafted · July 29, 2012

Looking good there HG. An oversize sweater would look great with that outfit and still provide the practical reason of keeping you warm. Great to see your face BTW.

Jimnj3 · July 29, 2012

You look great and are being well accepted. Glad all went well and no worries. Keep it up with your stylish pictures coming. Being yourself is the way to go.

JeffB · July 29, 2012

Looking good, heelguy! Your outfit was pretty sharp! Keep on keeping on, my friend! I look forward to reading more of your adventures!

SleekHeels · July 29, 2012

That's a really relaxed and natural look for you heelguy, it looks complete and suits you really well. Sure it'd be tame if you were wearing long bootcut jeans instead, but those skinny jeans add a pretty bold edge to the whole outfit, showing that you feel confident in revealing your figure and showing off your heels. I've only ever worn my skinny jeans with boots (knee-high or ankle boots) but it's a really cute look with courts too and you've reminded/inspired me to give that look a debut first chance I get.

Shafted · July 30, 2012

Love skinny jeans myself. They just beg for heels.

Mr. X · July 30, 2012

NIce look heelguy! I haven't tried my skinny jeans with heels as of yet. But I definitely want to after seeing your pic!

heelguy · July 30, 2012

Thanks again everyone! I can't wait to be out with friends again in my heels! For all the ups and downs lately, when i'm around my friends being who I am, I think to myself.. wow, this was all so worth it! it's an amazing feeling!

heely1 · August 7, 2012

Hi heelguy, I just wanted to compliment you on your style. Even your casual look is outstanding with the skinny jeans and heels; my favourite style! keep up the good work!

heelguy · August 8, 2012

Hi heelguy,

I just wanted to compliment you on your style. Even your casual look is outstanding with the skinny jeans and heels; my favourite style!
keep up the good work!

Thanks heely1! I LOVE the heels in your avatar! are they yours??? They're gorgeous!

heely1 · August 12, 2012

Hi Heelguy I was looking on the internet for heels for my girlfriend and i stumbled upon a picture with these pumps. I just had to put them in my avatar and i am trying to find similar ones very soon (maybe for me also!)

ilovehiheels · August 20, 2012

more pics would be nice

Meels85 · September 10, 2012

I can't wait to hear your next story

heelguy · September 20, 2012

Wow, sorry for being MIA for a while guys and girls! It's been well over a month since I posted up my last 'happening'. I recently caught up with a friend of mine as we'd been planning to see each other for a few weeks but it got cancelled last minute due to weather and tiredness on both our parts. We decided to go for dinner at a very nice restaurant near both of us. I wore a plain black long sleeved top, tight khaki paints and my patent cherry red Tony Bianco's I got a few looks, the usual glance, but nothing said and I couldn't have cared less anyway as I was there to catch up with my friend, not worry about other people! It was nice and the food was excellent! I'll attatch a couple of pictures of what I had as it's bound to make your mouth water! <3 I decided to go shopping to a place i'd not been to before called Westfield Doncaster. It's a little far from me which is why I hadn't been there before, but wow! definitely worth the drive! I headed there knowing that there were some high top wedges at the Steve Madden store I wanted to buy. I went in and asked the lovely new assistant for my size in 2 different coloured pairs of these high top wedges. I tried them both on and couldn't decide between the 2, then she informed me that it was 25% off storewide, how could I pass up this opportunity and I bought both pairs! . While I was paying for them at the counter I noticed a glittery golden/black wedge heel with a peeptoe and strap across the foot, I had to try them on! She brought out my size once i'd paid for my other wedge high tops. I put them on and looked in the mirror and LOVED them! She then told me they were $110! I almost bought them but since I just bought 2 pairs of shoes I decided i'd restrain myself from getting them. I then headed to a shop called 'Bardot' as I'd seen earlier in the day a pair of gold jeans I wanted to try. The 2 female assistants helped me out with sizing and I took another pair of jeans into the change room with me, just a more normal lighter blue colour. I tried them on with my new high top wedges and they both complimented me on them and said they'd seen them and wanted to get them for themselves! They had a pair of black peeptoe heels just sitting outside my changing room and I asked what size they were and if I could try them with these jeans to see what they look like. They were both more than happy for me to try them on and said my calves looked amazing in them I must have spent 30-45mins in the changing room with them bringing me tops/blazers/belts/dresses to try on, I had such a good time with them and they even took a photo of my in an outfit consisting of a dress/belt/blazer I ended up buying for them to send to head office to put in their monthly store newsletter! Here's a selection of pictures to sum up this post! Hope you enjoyed reading