Purging?

[larkofam]

Has anyone here ever purged their heel collection? I have had two collections built up but purged them both... I am anxious to get back into heeling but will not be able to for awhile due to financial considerations... has anyone ever been in my shoes? (no pun intended) and how did you finally come to terms with who you are?

[NewfieGuyInHeels]

I never actually Purged of my own free will. back in may of 05...... the memories. I was brazen and decided one night I was gonna go out with my friends and I wore a pair of stiletto boots I had bought. Well my mom saw me leaving through the living room window, and saw my heels. In a nut shell the following week, my parents gave me the ultimatum to get rid of my boots or get out. I wasn't well off enough to move out, and I didn't want to try and call their bluff cause they were madder than I had ever seen them, so I just gave them the 3 or 4 pairs of heels that I had at the time, and let it go. I felt humiliated and demoralized, like a part of me was just ripped from my body. But I just let it go. A few months after talking with friends they assured me that what I was doing wasn't wrong, and it was my parents who were in the worng. So since then I have rebuilt a collection of about 20 different boots, that grows and shrinks depending if I'm buying or giving away what I don't wear anymore. And I have since met my loving gf who supports and enjoys my quirky sence of fashion........ Sorry if this is a little off the topic of your question. A Little more on track, there were times I though of giving it up, but it brings me so much joy. Ppl really can't help what they find interesting, and they shouldn't be condemmed for it, UNLESS it brings harm onto others. Then finding this place I realized I'm not alone, and acceptance in myself has produced acceptance by others. My enjoying the outfits I wear have gotten ppl to say that tho it's different, it's still a great look. So as you build a new collection, never think you're alone, and turn to this site if you need a virtual shoulder to lean on. The site, and the avid posters that make it up have helped me countless time. I hope you find what you need here. And feel free to write me if you have any questions, and I'm sure others here will offer the same. Happy Heeling.

[Bubba136]

Larkofam, I believe every guy that wears heels has been through that once or twice before they decide that they will never be able to stop wearing high heels so it's counterproductive to keep throwing them away. LOL Just search back through the archives and I'm sure that you will find at least eleventy-eleven cases where guys have done that very thing.

[larkofam]

yes... and I have my eyes on several pair of classic pumps that I plan to get as soon as I have the finances to do so... as a very wise person once said, to thine own self be true.

[Bootking]

Been there, done that, but not since my divorce in 1998. After that time, I have been collecting and recollecting and never once have I thought of purging again, as the bad marriage was ended. My ex could not tolerate it at all, anything had to be hidden, etc. etc.

Since that time, I made it clear IN THE BEGINNING OF THE RELATIONSHIP that this is my thing. Now, my wife is not happy about it and wishes it would nicely go away, but it is what it is and she knows that it WON'T GO AWAY.

So, what is this all mean; it means that I won't purge, buy what I want occasionally (almost always on my own), but it is something that I won't dispose of because it is MINE!

[hoverfly]

I usally purge so I can make room to binge!

[johnieheel]

Yep! Once, for a girlfriend who talked me into laying them at the bottom of the cross. So they all went into a dumpster and I was miserable. Didn't take long to find out that a part of me that God had gifted me with was gone. Then so was she. BTW she is the only woman I have ever dated who had a problem with it.

[JeffB]

http://www.hhplace.org/hellos_goodbyes_introductions/6857-i_m_back----_most_part.html

^ this was the link I meant to originally refer to.

Wow! I had forgotten all about that! Seems so long ago! Reading that old post made me chuckle from irony since all I wear are skirts with my heels these days, and I'm having the time of my life. On the topic or purging, at least I had the good sense to donate my shoes to places like Goodwill where they could be put to use by others, if those others have big feet (13W) like me! HA!

[hh4evr1]

I have also purged my heels afew times. They were not large amounts of heels but I soon missed them after and had to get some more. Knowing i'm not the only man to like wearing heels helped to stop the purging cycle.

[eclextix]

Been there, and tossed away many... Oh, I have fond memories though!

[PatentHeel]

I purged twice before my wife knew about my heel collection, and I still regret doing so as I lost some wonderful heels.

[AZShoeNut]

Howdy, Oh ya, I have been there and I have definately done that. A product of the idea that I was going to "quit." In my late teens when I was really feeling dark about the deal I finally saw a fried who was also a spiritual counselor. She helped me too see that perhaps this experience could be looked at like a gift and things have gotten better ever since. And like others, I only donate a load of shoes now so that I can fit more in my closet. It really is a bummer that I unloaded so many shoes because there are so many shoes that I just can't seem to find like that any more. I really miss the Tricot lining that Payless used to put in their pumps. It was so comfy and nobody seems to do it anymore. Later, Larry

[larkofam]

I am starting to come to terms with this as being something that we have that other guys lack... a gift as you put it... maybe us straight guys who love heels even have more manhood than those who don't?

[BobHH]

I have never purged everything, but only shoes I decided I would not wear any more. Probably have gotten rid of more over the years than I still have, but I have the ones I really like and will wear. Most were donated, a few dirty or worn ones just trashed.

[tightsnheels]

I have never purged everything, but only shoes I decided I would not wear any more. Probably have gotten rid of more over the years than I still have, but I have the ones I really like and will wear. Most were donated, a few dirty or worn ones just trashed.

Like Bob I have never purged my collection and only replaced the worn out ones.

I am starting to come to terms with this as being something that we have that other guys lack... a gift as you put it... maybe us straight guys who love heels even have more manhood than those who don't?

We the high heels and or skirted community in my opinion are more sure of our masculinity than most men are. I feel that most jocks and super macho men are actually not very secure with themselves as they have to constantly remind everyone (including themselves) of how much of a man they are.

Just my thoughts though,

T&H

[larkofam]

Thank you very much everyone... yesterday was my payday... so I broke down and ordered a few pair... plus some knee-highs

[Thighmax]

I used to do it too. I felt remorse of wearing something that wasn't meant for me. After a while I understood that some men use high heels. I have never thrown any other pair away. I do feel sorry since I let go a few really nice pairs of thigh high boots.

[acesecret]

Purged twice now and each time ive found myself owning MORE pairs afterwards, really defeating the point. They really dont mean enough for me to tell friends and family and its a moneysink, but at the opposite end its too easy for me to go pick up and buy a pair. I have my own conflicting ideas and opinions, and in the end all thats happening is im getting more pairs that either sit there where im not wearing them enough, or at all.

[larkofam]

yesterday was my payday... so I broke down and ordered a few pair...

They arrived today, and I am happy to say I am back heeling, this time for good! I have posted some pics of me wearing my favorite pair out of the whole lot in my Gallery... Enjoy!

[Dawn HH]

YEP!!! Been there, done that, and guys, I have lived long enough that I have more than one t-shirt from those experiences. I even gave away my entire collecion of ladies garments and undies a couple of times. Then I suddenly realized that this is all a big part of my make-up in life and it is never going away no how. Like others have said, once joining this site, and realizing that we all were born with this gene as part of us, then we go with the flow and life is much more enjoyable for us and the people that we interaqct with daily. So--enjoy your heels, and other ladies garments if you must, as our movement keeps growing daily world-wide, and we are at the forefront of this great movement. exactly where we all should be. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[larkofam]

I want to thank everyone who replied for helping me to see that I am not alone, and that I am a heeler and always will be. I feel like I owe an eternal debt of gratitude to y'all.

[NH Heels]

DawnHH, I could not have put it better my self! I am very fortunate in that I have a wife for my best friend and she is totally accepting and supportive of who I am. When I allow myself to be myself, we have a lot more fun and our relationship is so much more rewarding. Unfortunately, I still struggle with this everyday. I certainly agree that it never goes away and trying to bury it just doesn't work. It always comes back, sometimes stronger than ever. If we could all just accept ourselves for who we are, we'd all be much happier. Thankfully, I have never had to purge my collection because I have an awesome support system in my wife. To all of you who don't have a s/o who you can count on, please don't discount the life experiences of people like DawnHH and others on this forum, we all found this place for a reason. Cheers, NH Heels (Jim)

[Bubba136]

DawnHH, Thankfully, I have never had to purge my collection because I have an awesome support system in my wife. To all of you who don't have a s/o who you can count on, please don't discount the life experiences of people like DawnHH and others on this forum, we all found this place for a reason.

NH Heels (Jim)

What a great complement you've paid to your wife. The realization of how much easier and less stressful it is when there is understanding and support given from your spouse.

[dressboots]

I am deep in the midst of a purge at this time. Been going on for over a year. Great conflict but assured my wife I would never wear boots meant for women in public again. She ahs immense worry about what others will think of me. I have one favorite pair of boots left - cannot bring myself to let them go. My wife knows about them and they are hidden deeply in the closet. It is fine for me to wear them around the house - just not outside.

[stefan]

I want to thank everyone who replied for helping me to see that I am not alone, and that I am a heeler and always will be. I feel like I owe an eternal debt of gratitude to y'all.

You are not alone. I think for the most of us it almost becomes an obsession. In a way we do like many women do buy many shoes. And for myself the very same obsession goes for skirts.

It seems I never ge enough of skirts and shoes. I have been our many times in skirt and regular male shoes and sometimes in heels with regular trousers and sometimes in both heels and skirts. Not as much as Jeff!!

/Stefan

[Tech]

I am deep in the midst of a purge at this time. Been going on for over a year.

Great conflict but assured my wife I would never wear boots meant for women in public again. She ahs immense worry about what others will think of me.

I have one favorite pair of boots left - cannot bring myself to let them go. My wife knows about them and they are hidden deeply in the closet. It is fine for me to wear them around the house - just not outside.

Are you sure its not her worrying about what others will think of her if you are seen in boots with heels on?

I NEVER refer to them as "womens shoes/boots", and only ever use the term "Shoes/boots with a heel on them", as thats truly all they are...

It could depend also on how you dress and how you carry yourself, because if you dress like a plonker then sure, you will be laughed out of town, but thats no different to anybody dressing lke an idiot..

I was going to say, if anybody is considering purging, how about putting all your heels in a box, post them to me and I will put them in my loft indefinately.... Then, when you realise what a mistake you have made, or want them back, you can just ship them back to yourself, instead of wasting money on purchasing more shoes/boots....???

[Bubba136]

Yes, Stefan, there is nothing except problems with your heeling from now on. Sorry for your difficulty, However, this aspect of your personality will follow you for the rest of your life. You are going to constantly be seeking opportunities to be alone so that you can wear your heels. And, from time to time, even though your wife says otherwise, she will give you rations of grief that you can hardly handle -- especially since you thought you had the issue already ironed out.

[stefan]

Yes, Stefan, there is nothing except problems with your heeling from now on. Sorry for your difficulty, However, this aspect of your personality will follow you for the rest of your life. You are going to constantly be seeking opportunities to be alone so that you can wear your heels. And, from time to time, even though your wife says otherwise, she will give you rations of grief that you can hardly handle -- especially since you thought you had the issue already ironed out.

Bubba,

I don't se it as a problem but rather an oppurtunity. I went out to a restaurant today wearing both heels and a skirt.

/Stefan

[Bubba136]

Bubba,

I don't se it as a problem but rather an oppurtunity. I went out to a restaurant today wearing both heels and a skirt.

/Stefan

Boy, I wish for your sake, I am totally wrong.

[tightsnheels]

It could depend also on how you dress and how you carry yourself, because if you dress like a plonker then sure, you will be laughed out of town, but thats no different to anybody dressing lke an idiot..

I was going to say, if anybody is considering purging, how about putting all your heels in a box, post them to me and I will put them in my loft indefinately.... Then, when you realise what a mistake you have made, or want them back, you can just ship them back to yourself, instead of wasting money on purchasing more shoes/boots....???

Hey cookie just a couple of things:

1st Could I please get a definition of "plonker" I consider myself reasonably attuned to the English language but speaking the American dialect I have not had a chance to acquaint myself with this term.

2nd I hope you have a mighty big loft.