I've caught up here rather late in the day but, as most of you know, I try to promote accurate and consistent terminology. Although I would agree with the view that Gige's boots (13 Nov pic) are merely 'slim' heeled, I have little doubt that many (including manufacturers/retailers) would describe them as being 'stiletto', as that term is so often lazily mis-applied to almost any heel that is fairly straight and not an obvious block or wedge. And melrose's attractive shoes (18 Nov pic) certainly have the stiletto look about them - and the 11mm width is borderline, as he says, and looks (to me, anyway) as though it is thinner. I would certainly expect most folk to call them 'stilettos', even though a true stiletto heel is (or should be) slimmer, as would be obvious if placed alongside the pictured shoe.
Gige's query was essentially about the acceptability of wearing heels that are truly high and/or slender. He must make his own mind up about that but there are enough wearers here to give him the reassurance he seeks. And, as part of his overall carefully structured look, I have little doubt that (say) 4" stilettos would be fine, assuming that his intended activity permitted them on grounds of practicality.