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Hi, I've been following this forum for more than 8 years, but only now have I decided to also share my life story in high heels. Heels have fascinated me since childhood. I remember taking my grandmother's heels and playing in them. Then, at the beginning of puberty, I would take my mom's wedding heels and secretly walk in them when no one was at home. A little later, I even started making them myself out of wood (wedges), leather, etc. After that, I would secretly wear them at home—until my mom found out, and she didn't like it at all. She was afraid I might be gay, but I tried to explain to her that even though I liked wearing heels, it had nothing to do with my sexuality. When I was about 18, I finally gathered the courage to buy my first pair of heels. I remember telling the saleswoman they were for a graduation ball, as a kind of joke—but in reality, they were for me. Later, when I got my own payment card, I started ordering shoes online. My mom knew about my interest (although she didn't really approve), but no one else did. At that time, I started going for walks in heels in a nearby forest. I was always unbelievably embarrassed whenever I happened to meet someone. At 21, I met my girlfriend. Just three months into our relationship, I confessed my love for heels to her. I knew she needed to know as early as possible, because if she wanted to stay with me, it would inevitably become part of her life too. At first, she didn't understand the importance of heels in my life. Once she started to realize it, it shook our relationship a bit. But she decided to accept me as I am and try to get used to it. Around that time, I also decided to take my passion public. I started wearing high ankle boots with heels every day to university, and I told my extended family and friends as well. Nobody had a problem with it—on the contrary, it was mostly met with admiration (except my mother, who even after all these years still doesn't like it). Gradually, I replaced all my winter footwear with high-heeled ankle boots (I find pumps too extravagant for summer). My girlfriend eventually got used to it too, and even discovered some other advantages of heels in our sex life. Now I'm 27, I work as a hardware developer, and I go to work every day in heels. At home, I usually wear my Pleaser Sultry boots, and as far as heels are concerned, I'm living the life I've always dreamed of. That's my story in heels. Thanks for your attention.

When I started to wear knee high, I would hide them under my jeans. Now it skinny jeans and the knee highs on the outside. When you wear with confidence, embarrassment is not an option. And when you wear those boots with leather pants, your confidence is off the chart.

I can recommend to try out these styles, that's what I love so much about heels - the variety! I think it's best if you start with pumps as they're generally easier than sandals. In difficulty I'd say they're close to boots, the only downside is the missing ankle support. The biggest difference is in comfort. Pumps must have a very tight fit, which isn't necessary to the same degree in boots. But don't worry, pumps can still be comfortable once they're worn in. Many of my everyday shoes are pumps, so no big deal 🙂

Ah, so you basically grew up in boots 🙂 How du you deal with summer temperatures and boots (or don't you have hot summers at all?) Please don't feel dispirited! You're doing fine by even wearing your 12 cm heels at home this often. It's just easier for me because I'm used to this height for more than a decade already. One day you'll be wearing them and they'll feel like your 10 or 11 cm boots do now 🙂

Funnily enough only yesterday I bought a pair of boot cut jeans - to wear with my ankle boots with 8cm chunky heels, and because they also look better with hiking boots. Yes, the boot cut partially obscures the heels on my ankle boots, but then I don’t wear them to show off or make a point, and actually the boots looks really good with these jeans.

I decided a long time ago that I look better in slimmer cut jeans/pants. I can pull off skinny jeans, and I like them, but they sure can be a pain in the neck to get on and off. I used to wear boot cut pants all the time for the reason that @Puffer mentioned, as an attempt to minimize attention to my heels, but I guess I got over that some time ago. Because I like to wear mules, I was glad to get rid of boot cut jeans, as the two don't live together in perfect harmony. Perhaps I am mistaken in my self-assessment, because my 40-something woman friend, mentioned several times elsewhere, wears boot cut jeans all the time with 3 inch heels, and she looks awesome. She's a very tiny woman, as well. The downside is, you can't really see the shoes. That was definitely the style in the early 2000s, when she would have come of age. I can remember working at the Iowa State Capitol building in 2004 and watching for heels, which were very common at the time. It was sometimes frustrating, because all you could see was just a sliver of a stiletto sticking out the bottom of a pair of pants that were very nearly dragging the floor. It was against this backdrop that I started my high heel journey, thinking I could do the same.

In such a climate I can also imagine wearing boots all year. In Germany the summers mostly aren't that hot, so it would somehow also be possible to wear boots all year - but when should I wear my sandals, wedges etc. then? 😉 Yes, 12 cm stilettos definitely are timeless classics, I love them so much. Doesn't matter if boots or pumps. I realize that even though I'm actually practicing in the 13 cm Hot Chicks, I'm also really looking forward to the benefits I can get in 12 cm heels. It would be so nice to wear them for some shorter trips maybe.

I can definitely see that trend in my environment. Almost everybody is choosing flats, even for dressier occasions. I don't mind. I'm old enough to know what I want and will do that regardless of current trends.

I present my Church OOTW for October 5. I was going to wear these giant Michael Kors Oksana sandals with bootcut khaki pants, but I had forgotten that I bought these sort of camel colored jeans, and I thought, "why not show off my big high heels for a change?" The only one who remarked was my mother, who also thought they were giant. At 5 1/2" (14 cm) with a 1" (2.5 cm) platform, they're pretty steep, too, for a non-designer shoe. I had a little chat with the woman who occasionally sends me shoe/foot pictures (mentioned above, somewhere). She was wearing cute little red wedges with a pencil skirt. She only shook her head and said, "I can't compete with that!" I said that I didn't know it was a competition. I'll probably see her tonight at my book club, and I'll be wearing heels. She won't. Different Shoe Worldviews entirely.

I think many of us just want to skip the slower progression of heeling progress and jump right into 4-5" stilettos! I surely did, and suffered all the usual pains and emotional set backs. Right now, I spend alot of time in my 3" block heeled ankle boots, which I feel keeps my muscles somewhat stretched in the right fashion....So, when I am lucky enough to be able to wear my stiletto boots, there is little or no pain/discomfort/lack of skill. I hear ya for sure, wearing my boots is a bit of a "double edge sword". I don't want to be to "over the top" drawing too much attention (perhaps negative attention). But, at the same time, I really do want others to notice, and approve. Sure, one of the benefits of my advanced age is not caring about what others think, to some degree. But, there is still a part of me that wants other to approve, perhaps be a bit envious..

Just got my October pedi and mani, a couple days ago. On my toes I got hot pink color for Breast Cancer Awareness which I get every year in October. Otherwise it's bright red the other months. On my hands my usual clear/pink gel, with the right pinkie a white base and a pink Breast Cancer Awareness logo and the left pinkie with a pink base and a white Breast Cancer Awareness logo on it. Got some compliments on both my pedi and mani from other women at the salon. Incidentally, because it was a cold rainy day,, I wasn't able to wear my usual skort. I wore a pair of white capri jeans, with a pink polo shirt with a white Breast Cancer logo on it. I did wear my Nine West "Gemily" sandal slides in hot pink color. My nail tech liked my ensemble especially my heels . She said that they showed off my new pedi to a T. Happy Heeling, bluejay

I am glad you did/do compliment parents for well-behaved children. I remember the first time a restaurant owner approached me and my wife and said something similar. We were taken back because it didn't seem as if our five young daughters (at the time) were doing anything really obedient. But apparently the restaurant had some wild kids in the past. The other day my 19 year old semi-apologized for being bad while growing up, and I told her I did not think our daughters were bad at all. She mentioned a few times we spoke up and stopped some sibling-rivalry but I explained to her that we stopped sibling-squabbling early just so it did not turn into a bigger problem. But growing up... wow! That was over the top. I remember sitting in church and a family-friend asked my dad how us kids were so well behaved and he said, "Oh, I just use a length of garden hose on them". The problem was, that family-friend, teachers and everyone else thought he was joking. My dad had a 4 foot length of old garden hose he liked to wail on us kids with. The real question is: did we turn out good because of it, or despite it? Considering my daughters turned out well so far, and I did not wail on them at all, I think the latter.

I love replies like this, and have used them a few times as well!

Oh dear, that doesn’t sound good! I’ve been some good indoors practice this week. On the subject of height in heels, I fielded a funny question this week from a passer-by (those of us who live in narrowboats are objects of great curiosity to non-canal folk) who wanted to know if it wasn’t rather tiresome having to crawl around inside all the time! He thought that the height of the cabin was what he could see above the gunwales and that living aboard was like living in a tent. I explained that the ceilings were quite high and that even a six-footer such as I could stand upright in high heels. He believed me about the ceiling height, but assumed I was kidding about the heels.

Coming in at No. 4 are my BCBGirls Bonny beaded wooden mules (pair No. 2). I often say that these are my favorite pair of shoes ever. I don't know in my heart of hearts if that's really true, but at least in a certain category, it is true. The downside to loving these shoes is that they're not super durable. I've owned six pairs of this exact model and color (I don't know if it came in any other color), and so far I've been through four, with two in reserve. What happens is that after about 100 miles or so, the shanks break. I managed to coax 115.6 miles (186 km) out of pair No. 2 before that happened. Ironically, I was feeling energetic one evening back in 2022, and I decided to take the Bonnys out for a 5 mile spin, which I'd never done before. The route I chose was largely on a bicycle path, so the plan was to walk 2.5 miles linearly, then simply about face, and come back home. Unfortunately, about 1.5 miles into the journey, something began to feel quite mushy and strange. Yes, the right shank had snapped in half, allowing the heel to flex radically. I had to limp home very slowly, and that was the end of Bonny No. 2. I posted about it if you want to scroll back in my "Ruminations" thread far enough. I love wooden heeled mules, and I have quite a number in my collection. Why this should be my favorite, I don't know. They aren't super tall, effective steepness being less than 4 inches (10 cm), and they tend to get worn looking fairly rapidly if you wear them like I do, but they've always had a appeal for me.

Kind of a funny story about high heels and cooking, though I admit compared to other people's stories on here, this is quite mild. But in making a new kitchen for my wife, she wanted a spot that was a bit lower than the rest of the counters so that in having a marble top, she could toss flour on it and have a place where she could roll out pie crusts and cookies. I was fine with that except there was no good place to put one, and even if I did, it would be a place dedicated to just that. It did not make sense in such a small kitchen. But what she did instead was, keep a pair of her high heeled shoes in the cabinet underneath. When she needed to roll dough, she would slip them on and really be taller that way she could press down from above more and make rolling out dough easier for her. She got a lot of grief for this, but it really worked well for her and did not tie up her kitchen by having a countertop lower in one spot for something she only did a few times a month. The high heels worked perfect for rolling out dough.

I quite agree! Although I like the look of skinny jeans, I would not expect to pair them with very chunky footwear (not that I normally wear such) nor any with long pointed toes (which I do like to wear). One could easily look somewhat cartoonish with seemingly big/heavy feet (whatever their actual size) sticking out from spindly legs. Boot-cut jeans are (as one would expect) usually a good companion to high-heeled boots, with the advantage of concealing at least part of the heel height if its detection in public wearing would be an embarassment, as many of us have to admit is a concern.

Nope! Its like saying you want a sensible pair of stilettos

An explanation of my "giant" shoes, and why I called them that. Those are really my mom's words, and for whatever reason she decided to comment on the height of my heels this week, and not other weeks. I have several pairs of 14 cm heels with 2.5 cm platforms. In fact, looking back at the last few months, I have worn shoes that are equally as tall as the most recent pair on at least two occasions. I think the reason why these appear to be super tall compared the other 14 cm in my collection, is because the color of the heel is darker than the color of the rest of the shoe. This is not true of my other vertiginous examples.

And that is the real shame because it becomes so circular. People not used to wearing heels; lets say at a wedding venue or something, wear them. Their feet hurt because they are super cheap in quality, so they swear off wearing high heels. Then because they do, there are few future sales, and what few sales there are will based on price. No one is going to buy really expensive, high-quality heels for a one-time-only event, so soon it is just accepted that wearing high heels is painful. Around and around it goes causing less and less people to wear high heels.

Thanks! Like you, I love the astonishing variety one can find in heels - even just within the category of boots! Colours, shapes, styles and heights. I've been looking at pumps, even thinking of being daring and picking out a pair in some pastel shade. Also trying to make up my mind - do I go for 10cm or do like what you did with your Hot Chicks and buy 12cm for the sheer elegance and worry about how the hell I walk in them later?

Hopefully that won't happen! I think there will always be a demand for stilettos - the worry is only the real cheap and nasty or the really expensive will continue to make them, with very slim pickings in that mid-range price and quality bracket

The same here in Germany. Close to citys like Munich I see them a bit more, but only chunky lower heels. Especially now in autumn/winter they become more. Stilettos are very rare. I'm happy that they are still sold, not that if it goes on that way they'll even stop selling them because there's no market 😅

Yes! Here in England, even in London, one seldom sees stilettos out and about. You're more likely to see them up north in Manchester, Leeds or York, but even so, not many. Knee boots with chunky 7-8cm heels are relatively common - although nowhere near as common as trainers - but stilettos or tall slender heels of 10cm and above are rare.

I agree with @pebblesf . Intrigue arises when we cannot deduce the two most difficult questions of life: why’s and how come’s. A man wearing high heels answers the question very simply: because I want to, and I do not really care what other people think of me. Living today in a culture where social media posts would lead you to believe everything is just ideal in a person’s life… then two weeks later they announce they are getting a divorce… you just realize, people are really only being fake. They know it, so people everywhere are teeming with imposter syndrome. A pair of high heels worn by an unapologetic man might as well be a mirror because it reflects what is in the viewers heart. They may, or may not want to wear high heels, but the real truth is they really wish they did not care what other people think about them. The mirror image the high heels reflect back to them? They do care what people think of them and that contrast is overwhelmingly defeating. The intrigue? Why @mlroseplant does not care about other people's opinions, and yet they do. That causes introspection.

I’ve never worn pumps or sandals - I have to admit now that I am practicing so much in my 12cm boots, and hearing about you, @higherheels and @mlroseplant in your sandals and pumps and Hot Chicks I’ve become kind of curious to try lofty stilettos in these styles as well! I’ve even been looking at a few 12cm styles … I expect I'll find them a bit more challenging than boots, less ankle support for one thing, but I am kind of fascinated by the additional challenge ...

Yes! I grew up in boots! Hot summers aren’t a thing over here in Britain - 25°C is considered a hot summer day. But I used to wear hiking boots as a regular thing even when I lived for many years in Australia and I’ve often worn them on assignments in the tropics. (Knee boots not so much!) I guess hot weather just doesn’t bother me much. I still love proper boot season when I can bring out my more fashionable tall boots Thank you for the encouragement. I really love the lines and imperious elegance of 12cm stilettos and would love to be able to walk effortlessly in them. Our little high heel support club has been so helpful. Im starting to imagine it now

Indeed very supportive from your girlfriend, that's a good thing.

Well, that’s her. Fair enough. It may be the present trend, it may not be. There is nothing in that first person account, other than the title, to suggest that her experience is universal nor is her experience or story telling very compelling. It sounds like she got bored with heels and moved on - something that’s a matter of interest primarily to herself

That’s nice that she’s supportive even while not wearing heels herself

Unfortunately, my girlfriend doesn’t wear heels — she’s shy and doesn’t like to draw attention to herself. But at the same time, she says that everyone should wear whatever they want.

I love boot season - although to be honest boot season for me extends year round. I’ve always preferred boots to shoes, ever since my childhood, growing up in the mountains. I much preferred the solitude of the mountains to my classmates in school and my hiking boots were a way of distinguishing myself from them and their natty street and town shoes. I’ve kept this bias all through adult life and have been fortunate enough to have a career that has allowed me to pretty much live in hiking boots or engineering boots. I’m the guy magazine editors send to the South Pole or Papua New Guinea, not the one they send to cover finance or politics! I’ve always envied the really cool selection of boot styles open to women and so when I finally decided to try wearing heels, it was always going to be boots. Aside from my stiletto knee boots, I’ve several pair of chunky heeled boots and a few pair of sturdy soled low heeled knee boots which I can and do wear daily along the towpath. I’ve become known for it. Hearing you describe your 12cm stiletto knee boots as easy and comfortable (compared to your Hot Chicks, admittedly) is both inspiring and dispiriting. I am so far from finding my 12cm boots easy and comfortable. On the bright side though, practicing in them has made my 10cm stilettos feel easy and comfortable! Thanks for the encouragement on walking in stilettos. I shall get myself a supply of heel tips and be a little more daring

@mlroseplant great job with your walk, even more after having an injury before. I don't have many mules but yes, they can vary widely. The straps on yours go high up, that will make them easier than others. Absolutely! I think that's probably the biggest beginner's mistake. For me, boots season finally started 🙂 So I chose to wear 12 cm boots out instead of the Hot Chicks. They're so comfortable and easy compared to the Hot Chicks. But I for sure will try to wear out the Hot Chicks a few more times until the deeper winter hits. But even with wearing them indoor I'm making a bit of progress by wearing them longer. There's no need to worry. Many of my stiletto heels have hundreds of kilometers on them. Yes, it happended to me that stiletto heels broke, but only on cheap pairs. What's more of a problem with stilettos is that the heel tips wear off quickly. But they're easy to replace. I always have them in stock and it's already routine work for me 😄

I am almost certain that if my wife did not already like wearing high heels, I would wear them. I just really like how people look in them. And it is historical as well. While I would NEVER try to compare myself to @mlroseplant as I am not him, if I did wear high heels that is who I would most be like. We are in a strange situation here. Island life is so unique that it has to be lived to understand and never explained. It is just so different what living on an island is like; from the difference in crime, to just how people talk, walk and drive. It is so different. I dislike talking about same-gender relationships but for some crazy reason island life brings that out it seems. It is crazy how prevalent it is here, and this is a working-waterfront. So, islanders as a whole are very agreeable people despite being pure fishermen thru and thru. But I am not sure my wife would understand. Maybe because it would take away from "her thing" or maybe just because she is introverted so deeply, but I doubt she would like it.

I made a definite choice this morning to train towards my goal, I walked 3 km in these 11.75 cm heels. By the time you adjust the steepness for my size 40, probably somewhere in the neighborhood of 11 cm, or slightly less. I can't be troubled to do the math at the moment. I will post more about this on another thread soon, but I rarely take purposeful walks in stilettos. These are an exception, because I wanted to test the durability of heel tips on stiletto heels, and these are the shoes I designated for the purpose. For whatever reason, these mules are super easy to walk in, but I will not tell a lie, after 3 km, I am one tired puppy. It was one of those deals where I got into the walk, and decided that I was feeling pretty good, why not go a little farther than I had planned? I don't regret it, but it definitely wore me out.

Welcome from far away in the USA!

Welcome to the forum! And greetings from England! How wonderful that you have found your nerve and are wearing your heels. were quite a friendly welcoming community here - and I’m sure we’ll all look forward to hearing more about you and your life and styles.

Hi and welcome from your neighbouring country Germany! Great to see that you wear your heels now as you always wanted to 🙂 Do you and your girlfriend wear heels together or is it just you?

I have been called out fairly publicly within my profession. I know I've been talked about for years on a limited basis, but this is the first time a fellow has questioned me in front of colleagues about my fashion choices. I am obligated to take occasional continuing education classes to maintain my professional license. Sometimes the classes are interesting, but usually they're something to be endured. Oftentimes, I see colleagues at these classes whom I have not worked around in years, and it's always an interesting game of "Who Are You?". We should really be required to wear name tags, just like at a high school class reunion. 10 years can add a mighty long beard or a lot of gray hair. One of the guys I haven't seen in several years came right out and asked, "Didn't I see you wearing high heels?" He was referring to a social media post, I'm sure. There are only a couple out there that are very obvious, but they are there. I simply said yes. He asked if this was something I did at home in the evenings, and I said pretty much anytime I'm not at work. It went on for a few more minutes until somebody interrupted him with a "Daaaave! How you doin', brother?" It wasn't a bad conversation, but it was a little awkward. I didn't sense any disgust or condescending looks from anybody.

I didn't wind up wearing my steepest heels to the recital, but I did wear some pretty impressive looking ones. Yes, they are a full 15 cm, but you have to discount for the 3.5 cm platform. Not super impressive, but enough of a workout over 600 m x 2. The brand is Onlymaker, and they are actually pretty decent quality for being an inexpensive shoe.

Tease Hopeful coming to my feet this weekend. I do hope it fits. Jessica Simpson Mixtesa Slouch Bootie in Dark Cherry