Are you choosing what I should wear?

[Histiletto]

There are a pletora of opinions and preferences as to which type and height of heels should be worn by guys, even in this forum. After hearing (reading) the calls that everyone should live and let live, I continue to get a sense there are a great many here, who still consider the stiletto and spike heels inappropriate for the manly wardrobe. Why does the design of the heel direct who should wear it, rather than the choice of the person wearing them?

[ShockQueen]

While there are a great many opinions presented, and of course, there will be differences in view, it's up to the wearer to make the final decision on what to wear. The reason the opinions are presented is based on the experiences of the one telling in some cases......or just personal opinion in others. Those speaking from experience have been there, and have adopted a style that is favourable to that person. It's not meant to harm anyone or narrow the playing field of what any one person can wear.

Everything is opinion in the end, when you boil it all down. It's what we choose to do with that information is up to us to determine. If you want to wear 5" stilettos, then wear them! If you want to wear designer labels, then do it! YOU are the one who is wearing what you do, and YOU are the one who will ultimately live with the ramifications of that decision.

[Histiletto]

ShockQueen, Your words ring of truth, but why, even in this forum, is there a sense stilettoes and spikes are inapprooriate for menswear?

[Bubba136]

As ShockQueen said:

Everything is opinion in the end

And don't think that manufacturers dont know it. That is precisely the reason we have such a huge selection of styles, heel heights and colors available to chose from:smile:.

[ShockQueen]

Perhaps there haven't been enough examples of males pulling off the look well enough to convince the rest? Granted, no one is ever going to agree 100%, so if you choose to wear spikes, then by all means do. I would just say get your whole look together, and then stand in front of the mirror to see what you think. It's all anyone can do, really. Once you like what you see, then it's time to put your best foot forward (literally) and go forth.

[Elegant]

ShockQueen,

Your words ring of truth, but why, even in this forum, is there a sense stilettoes and spikes are inapprooriate for menswear?

It depends on the silhouette and body mass. In my opinion, stillettos wouldn't go well with an overweight or overtly muscular build [regardless of sex], but could be perfectly OK for thinner people.

[raymond.nl]

why [...] is there a sense stilettoes and spikes are inappropriate for menswear?

In my opinion, stilettoes are linked with elegance, style, beauty, lightness, etc. Most men don't feel associated with these terms. Most women don't associate men with these terms.

[Dr. Shoe]

Some women don't think that women should wear stilettos so...

[fastfreddy2]

It depends on the silhouette and body mass. In my opinion, stillettos wouldn't go well with an overweight or overtly muscular build [regardless of sex], but could be perfectly OK for thinner people.

Agreed.

Heavier types (M+F) will struggle to get longevity from pencil thin heels. I personally prefer to look at thinner heels - though high is high whatever the heel type - but really thin stiletto's are wholly impractical for anything other than brief 'outside' use. Holes/cracks in pavements will destroy them in a couple of paces. (I've done it.) Wear from tarmac or stone pavements [lbs per sq/in etc] will wear the heel tips in no time at all. (Done that too.) The only time I could see high stiletto heels being anything close to 'practical' for the heavier framed individual, is if they are worn inside. [Club/home - if a girl, maybe at work too.]

Physic's before aesthetics?

But choose for you? No. Everyone is entitled to make their own mistakes.

...

[crotchboots-m]

i find wearing spike heels over 4 inches a real task, especially if i am walking any distance. so i usually wear the tallest ones only at home as a general rule.

[aussieheels1]

Histiletto - i agree with you.... it's odd (maybe not the right word.... as it's not a bad thing) that even within our little/big community, we have such diverse goals and ideals.... stilettos are impractical for male... hey they are impractical for female but they are wore for the style, look and how they make the wearer feel..... so i think if people are saying it's inappropriate for male to wear it then it comes down to the whole issue of acceptance again.... (at the same time, i'm happy for samll wins of acceptance of other heels type and hopefully extent to the whole range of heels....) i blah blahing again....

[shyguy]

I think it has already been said, and it applies to this thread as well as other areas of life. "There is no right or wrong, only opinions"

[Bootking]

Not to throw a bucket of water on this topic, but here it goes. There is not a darn thing wrong with anyone wearing stiletto heels if they can do it! Now I will agree wholeheartedly that someone too large (m or f) would probably looks a little silly balancing on a skinny skinny heel or shoe. But for most people, it shouldn't really be either a problem or an issue.

It is just our inherent biases that keep categorizing male heels to be "male" or masculine (read thick, wide, etc. etc.) You would actually think that a site like this would generate more openness and a more liberal attitude!

[Magickman]

For my last heeled outing, I wore the 4" stilettos, with pointed toes, and a short skort. Needless to say, the women took notice. But they wanted to dance with me anyway, even though a few offered comments questioning the wisdom of my choice. "I can't wear heels like that," said a few. "How can you dance in those heels?" asked some others. "Don't they hurt your feet?" Just so you know, my feet were fine, and my legs did not hurt the next day. It is a matter of practice and physical conditioning. Dancing in those pencil thin heels, I received compliments and style points from other folks on the dance floor. The proof is in the pudding. Moving like an athlete, while on high heels, is the true test.

[NewfieGuyInHeels]

I too like Stiletto heels, I'm not really the thinnest guy around, but I still like wearing my Stiletto ankle boots when given the chance. I guess this isn't meant to be a picture thread, but here:

http://i77.photobucket.com/albums/j78/darthraze/Me144.jpg

That's an outfit I wear sometimes with my stiletto boots. I don't know what you all think. But I like the way it looks on me, and I will continue to wear it In the end, it's only your own opinion that matters.

[ShockQueen]

Great outfit, Newfie! Looks great all the way around!

[Histiletto]

Like Magickman and Newfie, many have a good handle on their heeling preference and I want to commend all of you for your efforts. It just irked me to think that I shouldn't wear certain types of heels, due to the fact that some types weren't considered "manly". This is the misguided argument society has been using to keep males from wearing any high heels at all. Here's the proof our social programming is very much apart of how we perceive what looks are good for others, instead of butting out and letting others choose for themselves. Again, I'm not saying we should not continue to have our opinions and express them in a spirit of advice and help when asked, but that is the limit of our personal space verses other's space.

[roniheels]

Great outfit, Newfie! Looks great all the way around!

I agree. You look great in that attire and your stiletto heels.

I agree with the majority. It is personal preference. I respect all opinions. I prefer very high stiletto heels both at home and in public. I wear men's clothing and select my high heels to match the outfit. That is my personal preference.

[johnieheel]

To be honest, I have yet to wear stiletto heels out but the time is very near. I do wear other very thin heel out quite a bit though with out any problems. Some are blade and very narrow and some you might say are just next to stiletto. BTW, great look Newfie.

[5.5 Thrill]

Pretty simple to me. I wear(see avatar) what I like, what the public thinks doesn't matter. I enjoy and my wife:nervous: watchs the reactions

[Thighboots2]

I certainly do not wish to choose what you wear, that I reseve just for myself. I have found my current comfort zone and I take my hat off to those who have found theirs and stick two fingers up at society's opinion. If it be the wearing of stiletto heels, skirts whatever, then just do what you feel comfortable with. However, there are a lot of guys who still have to find their zone. I think they wish to know just how the guys who do wear heels - regardless of type - arrived at their zone. It was reading this board that gave me the encouragement I needed to go along the path to my zone. Starting my journey the choice of footwear was not chosen by anyone else but me. I for one have yet to go further down the road and so I guess you could say i'm in a lay-by for now. My ultimate goal would be that men feel free enough to wear skirts, dresses, hosiery, stiletto heels etc., as easily as they would wear a tuxedo & black tie, white tie and tails, a really sharp suit. It is a mind game we play and the journey to heel wearing can be a long and sometimes painful road. Simon.

[fastfreddy2]

I for one have yet to go further down the road and so I guess you could say i'm in a lay-by for now.

.......

It is a mind game we play and the journey to heel wearing can be a long and sometimes painful road.

Simon.

Lay-by? That suggests the journey has been halted? Surely you've only eased off the accelerator a little? Isn't your journey still on-going, but you've settled at a pace you're (currently) happy with?

Good for you.

...

[aussieheels1]

thighboots.... i hear you..... i think all of us have a different comfort level (or zone as you put it) with the place heels have in our life and how much of it we can introduce to friedns, family and local community.... i for one are happy (jealous) for those who can ignore the world, be individuals and do and wear as they wish without concern for what other people may think.... i'm definitely not at that level and i don't think no matter how much people say "screw everyone - just do what you want", it will take time for me to get there (if ever)

[Thighboots2]

FF,

By Lay-by I am referring to my ultimate goal for all men statement, as it is on that road I see myself. That goal is so far off in the distance (for the masses I am talking about, not those exceptional few) that there are many such lay-bys on the way. It isn't my destination.

You see I am happy to have jumped that initial hurdle of wearing footwear that has a heel bigger than 1" and isn't a cowboy boot - i.e. what is considered as acceptable by society. That IS the biggest step to take, the first one. I don't exactly find the womens utility footwear exciting to look at when women wear them, but I do enjoy wearing them myself precisely because they are utilitarian. They are still heels and in the range I like, 7-10cm. If I appreciate the look of a shoe on a woman and she looks sexy wearing them, then it is my opinion that it is not for me and in my mind that rules out all stiletto heels, strappy sandals, and so on. I love to see these shoes on women and I am happy if they remain just for them. The shoes in the attachement are as high as I want, and the heel shape is as thin as I think is right - for me, the cuban heel is just great for male attire.

Many of course have the desire to only wear stiletto heels. The world doesn't stop turning when you do as Kneehighs has proved so often its a wonder he isn't famous outside of this board. However, for this heel wearer, I would rather be wearing high heels even if they are the chunkier variety where ever I please than be stuck inside my house with lovely stiletto heels which I will not wear outside precisely because when I hear that delightful clicking sound I know I am going to look at a woman and if I am lucky a pretty girl in a lovely outfit and not some bloke. It IS their signature sound and it should remain so.

Yes it is a compromise, but one I am happy with.

Simon.

[fastfreddy2]

Yes it is a compromise, but one I am happy with.

Simon.

I wasn't suggesting you were compromising. But I wanted to assert you haven't gone as far as you ever want to? I still think that's the case.

In many ways, my attitude mimics yours. Reading your posts, can be a bit scary, as it sometimes feels like I'm reading my own prose.

You have my full support with wearing 7-10cm as 3-4 inches is not much lower if at all, than the 4" which is my usual walking heel height. Stiletto's are in many ways, not practical for men (wear too quickly) as I've mentioned. As for listening to their sound, I'd prefer listening to my wife clik-claking next to me, but I'd sooner llisten to my own feet than nothing at all. [Really is like 'music to my ears'. ]

I'm not hung up on stillies, and in fact LOVE wedges, and that is the style I've bought as my 'street' shoes. Five times now.

I've listened to your anecdotal experience and preferences, and that of several others who have contributed to the thread. And guess what? I'm gonna give it a go. In fact I mentioned it to herself this evening, and didn't get an adverse response!

A potential convert ..... For "everywhere" footwear anyway.

....

P.S.

The ONLY reason I don't already own a pair like the ones in your picture, is that they are supposed to be a wide fit, which I avoid.

[Thighboots2]

FF, The shoes pictured are available via Ebay. Word of warning though if you decide to go for a pair of them, they run HUGE and not just big. I had to go down 2 sizes to get the right fit. Standards - don't you just love them. I will be pleased for you if you do "give it a go" especially since you say your SO didn't give you an adverse response. Is this proving my suggestion that adopting the non-sexy heels you won't be seen as going too far into "their" territory? In my case, my SO is OK with me wearing shoes that she would not consider wearing as she does not see them as feminine. I did have a pair of 3" loafer style shoes for a while with a big block heel and she was not happy with me wearing them (although I did and wore them out). Although she probably wouldnt wear them herself as she does not like really chunky heels (thankfully) she might and so they are not OK for me. It is a fine line indeed. Shame 'cos they were really comfortable. Concerning heel height, I don't see the point of going above 10cm/4". The height gain is minimal after that and general mobility declines rapidly. I get about a 3" gain from a 10cm heel and that is quite enough for me. Below 3", then were into the realms of my avatar which are for men. I enjoy pushing the envelope, not ripping it to shreds. Must say there are a couple of good threads going at the moment and I have enjoyed adding my two'penneth to the debate. Simon.

[fastfreddy2]

Concerning heel height, I don't see the point of going above 10cm/4". The height gain is minimal after that and general mobility declines rapidly. I get about a 3" gain from a 10cm heel and that is quite enough for me. Below 3", then were into the realms of my avatar which are for men. I enjoy pushing the envelope, not ripping it to shreds.

Must say there are a couple of good threads going at the moment and I have enjoyed adding my two'penneth to the debate.

Simon.

That's an interesting comment, that maybe deserves a separate thread, but mindful we are talking 'man in heels' it's not totally inappropriate here..

I'd expect even a 1" lift would likely effect the gait of any wearer. To experience that high-heeled feeling, I'd expect a 2" lift would be needed. As mentioned before, these heights would possibly improve one's posture (passing nod to medical research) and certainly help give the appearance of a slimmer <taller> wearer too.

Moving upward, 3"-4" (inclusive) lift, is going to start slowing down the wearer, as the lift must adversely affect the performance of the ankle. A reduced stride (gait) and extra care will be needed to maintain a 'gainly' appearance. Practice, will allow the wearer to appear like they may be walking normally, as legs can be straightened reasonably comfortably. But the wearer will be very aware they are wearing high heels.

Shoes/boots with above 4" lift will make the wearer take noticeably smaller steps, and the gait will give the appearance of wearing a hobble skirt, even if one isn't worn. At this height, the main reason for such a high heel is going to be related to the restriction on walking performance. Higher=more restricted performance. Often used by people interested in BD/SM for visual stimulation, or to induce a mild handicap to the wearer. Some would argue that 5" heels are quite fashionable these days, as Messrs Louboutin shows us in a quite tasteful way. But few wearers will be walking with normal gaits, and away from the catwalk, I doubt these shoes are worn for extended hours. [i'm not saying people don't ever wear them for long periods, but those that do will be few and far between.]

Wearing heels above 4" then, is a "if I can, I will" choice. I can, but I don't know where at the moment (outside of specialist clubs I mean). Type of heel for this is an issue for men, as typically, heel heights of 5" and above are almost entirely stiletto. Fuss do a 5" heeled pump with an attractive thicker heel, and one or two other suppliers <Sand.dk boot><Burlesque Blue patent boot> do a thicker heeled boot, but most suppliers don't include them without seriously thick platforms. And why would a man wear such high heels? The pleasure of it. Some would say, the higher the heel, the greater the pleasure.

I can't explain my last comment, other than to say it seems to be a undeniable.

So you could see how I would agree, 3"-4" heels are a great height for 'street-heeling', and maybe not too high (with the right style) for getting away with for 'everywhere' use. Hence me having some 3" boots on the way for 'testing' purposes.

I too like pushing, not shredding. But I have to add, my female walking partner (not wife) keeps telling me "you always got to push it, haven't you?" Though this usually means where, rather than with what. Another passing nod, this time to my probable over-confidence?

...

[Dan J]

It is just our inherent biases that keep categorizing male heels to be "male" or masculine (read thick, wide, etc. etc.) You would actually think that a site like this would generate more openness and a more liberal attitude!

Great comment, BK, and I fully agree with SQ. As we all have our opinions, we also bring along our biases. Maybe one of the reasons why so many of us show up here is so that we each help each other recognize and get over certain biases. What better place than here to deal with this topic?

Dan

[JNR]

Originally Posted by Bootking

It is just our inherent biases that keep categorizing male heels to be "male" or masculine (read thick, wide, etc. etc.) You would actually think that a site like this would generate more openness and a more liberal attitude!

In my way of thinking, we're using the term "male" or "masculine" heels to mark the difference between the styles of women's shoes that are obviously "girlie" looking. Styles that have patterned colors, dainty buttons, bows and straps that absolutely point to exclusive wear by women with thin, frilly dresses and other feminine finery.

Rounded, more bold toes, thicker heels and heavier, more substantial looking shoes are styled more in the traditon of male appearing footware. These styles attract less attention and tend to calm the timidity and fear of ridicule that comes with a man wearing high heels in public.

I guess the basic question is "do you want to wear women's shoes or just high heels? The style I choose depends on the time of day, where I am going and how I will dress. Lower heels for business and situations that obviously call for more masculine looking shoes. And then, for events where I believe I can wear a nice pair of classic pumps, boots or other styles with 4" or higher, thinner stiletto style heels, I carefully choose a pair to match the situation.

The key, in my opinion, is to dress the part, act naturally, and what ever style of women's shoes you chose, wear them with a pleasent look on your face and confidence. Always with confidence.

[billyb]

JNR "I guess the basic question is "do you want to wear women's shoes or just high heels? The style I choose depends on the time of day, where I am going and how I will dress. Lower heels for business and situations that obviously call for more masculine looking shoes. And then, for events where I believe I can wear a nice pair of classic pumps, boots or other styles with 4" or higher, thinner stiletto style heels, I carefully choose a pair to match the situation. The key, in my opinion, is to dress the part, act naturally, and what ever style of women's shoes you chose, wear them with a pleasent look on your face and confidence. Always with confidence." I agree with you completetly I think a lot of female resistance to men wearing their shoes is that most men don't really dress correctly in their view. If you look at most mens closets there are two colors of shoes black and tan( or brown) a man knows if he wears light or brown colored cloths were tan shoes all else black shoes. Women match their cloths to the shoes and if we want exceptance then we have to show that we can wear the shoes with the same style and flair as they do. A man who dresses correctly and Kneehighs is a good example then it is exceptance and I would venture a bet that the women Kneehighs meets if they have a S.O. they are woundering how their man might look dressed similarly, but if a guy is wearing heels and looks all goofy then to women it is a turn off.