A Guys Path to Heels

[Thighbootguy]

I’ve noticed there are a lot of recent posts about going out in heels for the first time. I suspect that the posts on this board have helped some take those first steps. The new folks may not yet appreciate that they have stepped onto a long and “fun to walk” path. I’m sure the path is not the same for everyone. Some of us step on and off at different steps. Here is the path as I see it:

A Guys path to Heels

Trying on shoes - This is the earliest place to start. Most of the time is Mom’s or sister’s shoes and or gloves that peek your curiosity and we are just want to know how they feel.

Wearing them in private - After you discover they feel and look good you wear them whenever no one is around.

Wearing them in public in panic mode - After a while you want to venture out but are sure that everybody will see what you are wearing and laugh at you. The hardest step you ever take is getting out of the car. The outing results an adrenaline rush (panic) but you start to discover that no one notices.

Wearing them in public with confidence - Once is sinks in that no one cares what you are wearing, you become confident with the image you are presenting and go out and just look good. You give up worrying about what others might think.

Trying other garments - After the “shoe/glove thing” no longer is exciting, you start to become curious about how all the other stuff feels to wear. You get yourself things like skirts, panties, panty hose, bras ... and discover how they feel. You like the feeling and wear the undergarments as regular attire.

Wearing outer garments in public in panic mode - Something pushes you to try a skirt in public. Again its a real adrenaline rush (panic). Your worried all over again about others laughing. A couple of heads turn because people do notice but your confidence starts to build.

Wearing outer garments in public with confidence - Again you discover that no one really cares and decide to just enjoy yourself.

Makeup and trying to pass in private - You start to wonder if you can go all the way and have a whack a t makeup and a wig at home. With some practice you start to like the look.

Makeup and trying to pass in public - After you get the look down pat, you want to see if it is good enough. (You thought getting out of the car in heels was tough). Now you try to see the world as the other half sees it.

==================================================

Somewhere along the path you start to wonder why you are doing what you are doing.

You may realize that this is not a comfortable path to walk or that a few steps are al you want to take. One nice thing about this path is that you are the only one making you walk it. (A word of caution, don’t let your posting about your adventures push you along. Proceed at you own pace and only as far as you want to go.)

You may discover that heels and skirts are just an “attention getting device”.

You may discover that you are “the other gender in the wrong body” or that there is another side to you that you hadn’t known about.

Additional comment and prospective is encouraged.

[johnieheel]

I think this is a fair and accurate assumption thighbootguy but I stop at wearing them out in public with confidence. It's still thrilling to me and I believe it always will be. As for other garments, make up,etc, just not me but who knows what the future will bring right?

[shrimper]

I think TBG has covered the spectrum but it is in no way a foregone progression. I have no desire to look like a woman and I have no interest in any other feminine garments. Never have and after 60 years I believe I never will.

[Firefox]

If it's a "Path to heels", I think you should have stopped at "wearing them in public with confidence," and posted the extended version in the cross dressers section as appropriate. It seems to assume that heels are exclusively female attire, and simply a step on the path to some gender transformation, whereas they actually can be a unisex fashion accessory which might be sucessfully employed by either gender as a part of a coordinated outdoor wardrobe.

[latindancer]

Since I was 5 years old, I have always been interested in the other half garments. It's just recently that I have the courage to go out in public, and TBG is completely right about the progression. If it wasn't for this forum, I would've never gone out in heels, and now I'm going out on some occassion with a skirt, and now makeup. For, me it ain't about the rush, but I have all these clothes and I want to wear them but I never had the guts to wear them. I think the rush for me is that I finally have the cohones to do it and it makes me feel good about it. I use to care about what others thought about me and now I'm starting not to care. Plus, I was a little shy especiallly going up to women, and now I'm not. Therefore, doing this is giving me the courage and strength to be more open and strong. Therefore, I'm just enjoying being who and what I want to be. Latindancer

[crotchboots-m]

the path is similar to mine,but it stops with the dress and other female outer garments. i tryed it out but it didnt light any fires,so i let it go. just goes to show the bug has many varied applications,doesnt it.

[fastfreddy2]

I agree there may well be a path, but maybe not as straight (sic) as has been indicated.

I've always had a thing for shoes. I remember trying my mothers, and finding a way of stacking one pair on top of another to produce a decent heel height. At the time, wearing them had an 'interesting' effect on my hormone level.

15 years later, a girlfriend travelled to London and bought me a pair of 6" high Cover Girl court style shoes for a surprise birthday present. Me wearing them, got just the response she was expecting/hoping for.

Next step was to wear heels outside, but not in the streets around where I live. The consequence of doing this could literally have affected my general state of health, and job prospects. Trendy though Boy-George might have been, most of my friend were far from trendy .....

The solution was going to London, and the Mudd club. Dressing as half woman/half man was not only allowed, but encouraged. [He was B.G.'s best mate at the time.] I never had trouble getting in.

Hop some time forward, and the girlfriends interest in all things fetish (as I now realise she was driving the situation, not me) and we started going to fetish clubs quite regularly. If I went dressed as a girl [size 8 if you don't mind] people talked to us. If I went as a man, people didn't. It wasn't a hard lesson to learn....

Some 23 or so years later, I'm finding renewed pleasure in wearing heels, but I also find I enjoy wearing them outside much more than wearing them inside my home. There's no 'clip-clop' of a heel at home for a start, and no danger of being 'busted' either.

I've some fairly noisey ankle boots [4" heel - £20 @ New Look] I wear when I'm some way from civilisation. [Paths next to fast urban roads.] Noisey because I wore out two sets of plastic tips in as many weeks, so had steel tips put on the boots. I've also bought some rubber soled wedge boots [4" heel - £42 @ Nine West sale] that are more discreet. And do less piercing damage to my jeans ...... But the wife says I still look like I'm "mincing" when I walk in these. [Charming, eh?]

So I've ordered a Ladies coat with hood, that'll help disguise what I am <a man> when I'm out at night. I've also bought some boot-cut [aka flared] jeans for the same reason. But these are enablers to walking in public, not my prime interest.

Unlike 23 years ago, I could not look anything like a passable woman, so I don't intend trying. Not sure how I'm going to go walk-about during the summer months? A lot of 2 a.m. exercise I suppose....

There's no doubt about it though, getting 'busted' (made) or getting close to it, certainly does provide a (slightly disturbing) buzz. Disturbing because it seems to be quite addictive. And speaking as a non-drinking/non-smoking/non-gambling/no drug-taking individual, I'm finding this new sensation a bit of a two-edged sword.

And completely back on thread .....

Wearing heels doesn't automatically mean you'll be spending time at the lip-stick counter in you local store....

...

[Bootking]

Thighbootguy,

Profound, truly profound. Like many things, there will be many different flavors to this recipe. But the road map is there for those who care to read it. And like a road, there are many exits and stops along the way, but some may want to go to the end.

[Tamago]

For me it is a bit different, I started wearing skirts first at home, then in public. After that I bought me a pair of heels.

[Diana High Heels]

I wear heels purely for the massive enjoyment of doing so. I have no interest in dressing 'enfemme' and I am sure my wife would not like that aspect of my passion. Given the chance I would wear them 24/7 and no lower then 5 inches especially when out. I do adore rubber and have many rubber dresses but I wear them PURELY for the flow of rubber around me. I like to wear knee and thigh boots out (4 inch heels) but only when I go to places away from my home town, under my jeans but the boot toe and heel obvious. I agree that the most nervous and worrying moment of all is actually getting out of the car, once that aspect is behind you its plain sailing. I have spent many hours shopping in Leeds dressed in boots and wearing a rubber 3\4 length mack. Anybody seen me in Harvy Nichols so dressed? I also visit shoe shops and try boots on, again no probs, the first time is always a bit dodgy but in all the assistants have all been fantastic. So guys, all I can say is this, if you want to go for it and has already been said, NO ONE GIVES A DAMN. Bye the way, to test the water re reactions in public the wife suggested I wear a pair of my ladies pink tennis shoes out before the heels (I have a fetish as well for Dunlop Pink Flash plimsolls) Ok, one extreme to the other but what the eck, I am happy with it and so is the wife! So I did, very openly, actually on a P & O cruise ship in the Caribbean and you can get no more public then that. Since then when not in heels I am in them. yes, I am one happy bunny. Enjoy, remember one small step for mankind, one huge leap into pleasure.

[loveheel]

I agree that the path does not need to continue to dressing in skirts in public. If you want to do that and can get away with it, more power to you. But there are plenty of guys that stick to the shoes. For me, one of the reasons to stop there is that I wear heels because they look good on me. When I try on a women's garment, I have to be very careful that it does not look ridiculous on me. I have gone through a similar evolution in my shoe wearing. Like many I started with buying some fetish shoes (6 inchers). Now I only wear shoes that most well dressed women would wear outside. So I shop at places like Nine West, Nordstrom or Bakers and buy the typical 4 inch heels that are common.

[verngentleheels]

I agree that the progression to dressing en femme is further than many of us go. I too have found that the 4" heel is much easier and saner to wear on an everyday basis. However, the fetish shoes have their time and place for special fun!

[Tech]

I have to agree with the bulk of other's here and say that I think TBG's "Path" is quite off track. The shoes you choose to wear do not decide on your path to gender assimilation at all, and you make it sound like every guy who wants to wear heels, wants to or will end up wanting to dress like a woman! I think this couldnt be any further from reality if you tried (No offence mate)

[Histiletto]

Opinions and type of heels vary so much on this forum. To make a statement as TBG has set down is only another opinion that some may use for comparison. However, it is by no means an absolute path way or end result for men wanting to wear high heels. Each of us has our own set of likes and dislikes.

Dressing in women's clothing by men.

This is a subject all its own, but is often brought up when male heelers are in the cross hairs. Due to our progamming, we have come to understand all items of clothing have "gender" labels as to who should wear them. Not to get obscene here, but there are the specific areas of the human form that need prescribed coverings to hide those areas for moral reasons from public view in the Christian/Judaeo societies. All other areas of the human form have been granted open exposure permits in the public settings considering the activity. I suppose one could attend a church service in swimming attire, if the services were held on the beach with a group of avid swimmers or beach bums. (Wonder if they would have to comb or brush their hair?)

So unless a garment has been specifically prescribed for the moral covering, it has no real effect on the morality effect to the wearer. The garment then becomes a fashion issue, which has become subject to the social opinions and attitudes of people. How an individual adorns is suppose to be a personal choice, but society has usurped that right on the grounds it knows what is best for everyone. Recent items that have successfully crossed the lines, such as trousers/pants, earrings, hairstyles, make-up, and etc. are proof fashion items are not really gender specific. Even some items have been purposely designed to copy or use the appearances of the male label for a female look. If a male wears that female item that has been designed from the male label, he is sometimes considered less than honorable. How sick and two-faced are our programmed social attitudes? It should not be any business of anyone else when an individual exercises their own right to choose for themselves something they want to adorn with. Your opinion can be useful advice, but it is up to the wearer what action they want to proceed with.

[billyb]

TBG Your part about wearing womens shoes is right on in my case, I grew up with two older sisters and their shoes were always laying around and when no was around I would try them on and liked how they felt and have liked womens shoes every since. It was not until recently that I actully pursued my passion for heels in the last few months I have bought 3 pairs of shoes and 2 pairs of boots. For me it is only shoes as I have no interst in other feminie attire( other than womens socks as they fit better in the shoes or boots better than my heavy boot socks.) Since I am a motor head the best anolgy to discribe my passion is this, womens heels are like a fine sports car sleek and stylish were as mens shoes are like the family station wagon big and bulky. The wagon gets the job done but there no better feeling than sliping into that sports car. I hope to be able to wear my heels anytime and no that there is no repercussion. As I wear my heels more and more in public I relize no one does pays attention and that my worry is more in my head because I am always looking at shoes so I think everyone else is but in reality most people probablymost are not.

[Thighbootguy]

The purpose of a discussion board it to have discussions and I want to thank all those that have contributed so far and encourage others to add more. It was not my intention to suggest that everyone that tries on a pair of heels will wind up in a skirt and wig. Nor did I want to imply that we all do things the same way. The steps I described were a distillation of my own experience and of many posts from others on this board. I hope that most who step on the path will step off again when they are no longer comfortable. The one danger I missed pointing out is that walking that path can be addictive. I didn’t have the steps where you walk up to an emotional cliff and look over and realize that if you take one more step you’re “going over the edge”. At this point, some just stop, other purge their collection and go all the way back to the beginning, where after a while, they might start over, and a few go right on over the edge.. That can happen anywhere on the path and can happen more than once. The other addictive thing about thing bragging to other likeminded folks about what you have done. I know that many of us would not have ventured out in heels without having read about the experiences of other. However, writing about those experiences (and getting the positive feedback) can also be addictive.

[Bootking]

Thighbootguy, yes and no. I first ventured out in the street in heels (blue knee high boots under pants) over 32 years ago walking the dog, long before the internet or anything like it. My fetish went through many iterations to where I am now. A fetish, by definition, is and addictive thing; otherwise we wouldn't obsess over it!

How far we go, where we stop on that road, back to the beginning and all that are, as you say, individual variations. But OUR need for heels, whether pumps, boots, sandals, all, some, etc. is our GREAT obsession. Otherwise, we would not be communicating on this great site!!!

Viva la heels!!!!!

[mccar7hy]

pretty much stopped at #2, but thats fine for me

[Celso999]

I would say that steps #1 to #4 do apply to this Forum and are very well conceived. The other steps would apply best to the Crossdressing Forum, although I believe it doesn't necessarily start with the using of women's shoes.

[Tech]

The other steps would apply best to the Crossdressing Forum

Dont you mean:

"The other steps would apply best to a Crossdressing Forum"

We dont have a crossdressing forum, only a forum for crossdressers..

[dawn]

Hi I think the path is more of a learning curve and those of us who reaches the end of that curve comes to an understanding that has nothing to do with wearing dresses or heels or what ever. but to the understanding that it is possible for us to freestyle without any fears or worries, what i mean is that those os us who wear heels outside and only heels, if asked they would probably go out in dresses or other feminine attire because they know, and that's the meanning of the learning curve, that there isn't such a thing as male or femaile clothes, there is only what you like to wear and what makes you feel good. and correct me if i'm wrong, but any of you who wears heels in public have no fear to wear whatever you want, the only reason you won't wear dresses is because you don't like it, not because you think it is too feminine, because such a thing does not exist!!! and it doesn't really matter if you fit to satges 1-4, 3-6 or 3-1000, just enjoy the process you are going through, and feel free to freestyle

[roniheels]

I still get a thrill from wearing high heels, especially in public while dressed in a coordinated suit. I don't believe that I am addicted to them, in my opinion. I don't wear high heels 24/7, but I do wear them every day. I have never had the desire to cross dress or impersonate a female. Even when I was young and dressed in my Mom's high heels, I wore them with jeans, slacks, suits, even sweats (that was a fashion statement...lol). I have always said that I appreciate the enjoyment of those who do wear feminine clothing with their high heels, even in public.I respect their desires as I hope they respect mine.

[flavio]

I have no problems in the complete path as in Thighbootguy's original post. I'm a fan of him and it's up to him if he wants to go until full crossdressing. I really don't care about a crossdress post here on the forum for the guys too, since crossdressers ARE GUYS. Back to the original topic... I went to the step "Wear heels in public" and maybe I should go to "Wear leather gloves" that I like, but they are not necessarily a "socially female" garment. I was crossdressed once to a costume party as posted in a specific topic as a excuse to wear my boots in the streets. I really didn't like it (the look in the mirror, the party was a lot of fun) and don't want to crossdress regularly, maybe as an excuse again, but not as a real crossdresser.

[5.5 Thrill]

HH shoes and boots in public for me. That is where I stop. My wife is getting more used to it and I don't want to go any farther, so things are working very well between us. Been doing it for 20 years. When I saw and joined this forum I didn't feel so alone and I'm more bold about it now. Thanks guys

[Griez]

nice tips well i'w been just few times outside of house- so called- street heeling, but not too far, just to shop and thats it some ppl recognized me wearing heels, but i just gone to home and thats all about skirts, i'w been even to another countries with my skirts once one skinhead wanted to knock me off, but i just going forward no mater what he sad... many times gone with them around city, few ppl sad something or laugh at me(young girls) but nothing offensive i'w been so many times outside my house in skirts so i don't care even make up, last autumn was so many times outside of my house with colored eyes, nails and so, nobody noticed or wasn't took it too seriously. Wearing Corset for few months everyday my stomach are very thin right now(28 inch and half), my ribs are forming more and more, few girls was against it, but mostly isn't at all my eating style has changed i cant eat many thing at once, so i has to eat smarter and thats mean easy diet, cuz i just cant eat much, so say what ya want, but corset has changed my life to good side and i wont stop wearing corset as it is now my part of life i think if i could go outside on heels more then i would completely forget about all another ppl, what they say

[hh4evr1]

I stopped at wearing heels in public as I have always worn heels with my jeans or trousers.

[loswabs]

I believe I look better in female clothes when wearing heels than if I wore mens clothes. Recently I had a day out and from head to toe wore clothing meant for ladies. It was quite a thrill when I realised this. I got more than a few open-mouthed stares but if I'm honest that was part of the intention. I only wear jeans / trousers and feminine tops, never a skirt or dress as these don't really do it for me and I have no intention of shaving my legs. My feet get shaved for when I wear strappy sandals or courts but that's about it. I also wear skinny jeans without high heels and am more than happy with this look, even if it raises a few eyebrows. It's my body, it's my life, and I don't wanna be sat in a chair at 85 wishing I'd done something I wanted to. Life shouldn't be full of unfulfilled dreams...

[raymond.nl]

... and I don't wanna be sat in a chair at 85 wishing I'd done something I wanted to. Life shouldn't be full of unfulfilled dreams...

I couldn't agree more!

[Bootking]

Three cheers! Why have regrets that you can't correct anymore!

[Aglo]

Great thread, and great starter by Thighbootguy. My first try of heels, was to have a go at my mum's; getting my feet into, by that time, the flowers of her youth: thick strappy sandals. They didn't fit me too well, with a substantial overlap at the back end. And then at college in the early seventies I bought the male high heels, at that time fashionable for a year or two (but they were horribly plastic affairs), but could never find the courage to go out in them. I remember being very jealous of some guys in college who'd made the obvious leap and gone into female platform boots, looking great. And then my interest stopped as I moved out into work and the 'eco' and 'natural' movements of the early eighties, which successive girlfriends were into. I then got a posting with VSO (Voluntary Service Oversees, the British Peace Corps but with no government direction), which sent me to the Far West of Nepal, a roadless piece of the atlas and not a place to wear anything except serious walking footwear. Meanwhile I had rented out my house in the UK. On a visit back home one year, I came back and found that one of the tenants had left a pair of high heel knee boots in the cellar (along with a huge quantity of other detritus, which took me a day to get to the town dump; surreal, considering the country of deprivation from where I'd just come). They were probably a size too small for me but I got into them and thought they looked great! Ah!, but I had to get back to Nepal and had not the sense and confidence to realise I could have taken them away without notice. Then the fashion came round in the late eighties in Nepal and, I think Africa as well, for very high heels but with platforms and very wide heel bottoms, so that they looked very sexy but could also negotiate rough and pot-holed paths with ease. I first looked at them when my wife saw them in Kathmandu. But her incredibly wide feet could not slip into them so there was no purchase. Something attracted me back to the shop a few months later where I got the biggest size which fit me just nice. So my first case of public heeling was walking out of the shop and up the bazaar to my jeep. From that time on I have enjoyed wearing heels, and become more knowledgeable about which are nice and which are not. My first foreign purchase was a pair of Western Ranch five-inchers which, looking back, are probably the most ugly pair of shoes I have ever worn, heels or not (I threw them out last week to a guy with a small cart taking away our rubbish; I can't imagine he'd get anything for them). Then I ordered and received three pairs from Silhouette, a company who supported/financed hhplace until recently. They came quickly and were what I wanted (at the time, anyway). My next acquisitions were low quality local shoes which ran out at size 39, whereas I am a 41. Fun with the salesgirls but not with my wife on arrival home. I need a pair of heels to look exactly right on me so any mis-sizing is a no-no. So all the heels I wear now are of UK/Brazilian origin which, if not exactly 'chunky' as the saying goes, are very strongly made' even if they have quite a sharp heel. My latest pair are again from Silhouette (with whom I have no financial connection!) and are probably the nicest looking heels I ever got (ok, until the next pair). My wife even ventured that they look good on me! Getting back, finally, to the direction of this thread, do I do anything more than heels? Well, I have waist-length hair (helped I suppose by Nepali women normally having the same, and so they are able to fix mine anywhere and easily). I like to grow my fingernails long, and paint them if they look right for it. And that's about it. Just to add that I have no inhibitions about wearing heels almost anywhere including airports and embassy parties. Not many people notice, and you only get one or two who make a thing of it (goodness knows why, my common thought is that they have difficulty departing from a military perception of what decorus apperel should be.) That's about it. I've been writing work reports all day, and was in the groove for a change. Aglo