danielp6406 Posted February 27, 2009 Posted February 27, 2009 Greatings Beegirl and audreyk :-) I wish every women would be as open minded as you are. After all, they are only shoes ! A close female friend of mine was a little bit "confused" the first time she saw me in heels. But now she is OK with it since I am the same person as before just wearing different shoes. I think we are "getting there" but very slowly...
JandraElune Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 Depends on how it is being worn, it's more like what is more visaly pleasing. A guy in the same outfit as me...full baerd and all hairy like that with budling muscles, yeah it's not working. Like when a seeing someone naked that you don't know eve if it is a stature or painting...which is more pleasing to look at (more then 80% of the populas will say the female form) even if their sexual preference is male they will still prefore to see a female naked. But as a turn off, actualy seeing men in womens clothing would be 80% populas wanting that as a turn on. Men started the wearing of heels around 1500. The spike stilettos as we know them now didn't take form until the 1970's. There was stilettos much older, back to the 1630's. In the 1700's there was actualy a ban for excess foot wear in the americas (those the start of the break of men in fashion). Until 1900 men lead the fashion industry for heeled foot wear. Then it was like WWI and the industrial revolution put a stop to men even being in the fashion industry (this is actualy the first time the Americas actualy stepped out intot he world and became a world power of their own)....or was just a misconception in the general sociteys idea's. Up until around 1900 ALL heeled foot wear was boots either knee or ankle, but around 1900 the pump shoe was introduced to the americas. If it was not for WWI and the industrial revulotion the rest of world would be seeing men STILL in heels as a fashion statment. So you only got like 100 years of biggitry that stayed strong only for 70 years. So as the ones that came to age (ie: 25 yrs) before the 1950's die off more and more people will revort back to how things were before. On stage up until the 1650's Women could not preform on stage, it was men that did the roles of women. Even now it is fully accepted for men to be women on stage. For just even set, costum design and role practicing resigns they have to go out in public areas and mengle. Looking through history and popularty polls. You'll find that the world is not ran by the majorty but by the minority. It takes 100's or 1000's to win to make a good feeling, but only takes 1 to lose to make a bad feeling.
danielp6406 Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 Depends on how it is being worn, it's more like what is more visaly pleasing. A guy in the same outfit as me... Greatings :-) I agree with you: It depends on how they are being worn. I always wear my boots/shoes with "male" clothing. (I don't wear skirts, dresses, leggings etc). You may want to take a look at the picture in my gallery here http://www.hhplace.org/album.php?albumid=9&pictureid=73 . I am just an "average looking" guy with no beard and no "extra" muscles. I was wearing the same boots you see on the picture when I went to visit my friend. I went back to visit her a few times and she is now totally OK with it (See my post # 31 above) She even asked me If we would do some "heel shopping" next time I visit her ...
Bubba136 Posted March 20, 2009 Posted March 20, 2009 Hmmm! I just reviewed the results of this poll. 50 people have voted. I didn't realize that we have 50 female members. If some guys voted here, then aren't the results invalid since the way I read the question, it was posed for females to answer. Where am I going wrong? Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.
Magickman Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 Only a few men wear high heels in public. I have never seen any of them, myself. So, at the very least, it is unusual. Women are hardly all in agreement about much of anything, no more than men are. Most women probably don't ever see men in heels. Among those who have, some women can appreciate a man in high heels, and many others don't like it at all. Underlying the question posed by this thread, is a desire for approval, that is common among both men and women. Since men in high heels are not a usual style, most folks are not fully comfortable with it. Men who seek broad approval, might be better off with more conventional footwear styles. On the other hand, guys who actively enjoy nonconforming styles, and who are unconcerned with other's opinions, can wear what they like, and be happy doing so. I guess that is the price of fashion.
roz Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 Hmmm! I just reviewed the results of this poll. 50 people have voted. I didn't realize that we have 50 female members. If some guys voted here, then aren't the results invalid since the way I read the question, it was posed for females to answer. Where am I going wrong? Even if I start polls in the girls forum and put ***GIRLS ONLY*** in the subject guys still vote and render the polls pointless when they're from a girls perspective. It's one reason why I don't post polls any more.
SarahLou Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 Just came across this thread and though I would share my opinion with you about the subject. I have thought about it a lot, and I think men in heels are great, as long as they are honest about it. For example, if you meet a guy, and he is wearing heels, or maybe he talks about them, then he is being honest about it and shows confidence in it. But, if my boyfriend of however many years has been secretly wanting to wear heels, or has been, and just springs it on me then I would hate it. I like open, honest people who are comfortable enough with themselves to show their likes and dislikes with others, even if there is a big fear of rejection. It's much better than keeping it a secret, I think.
danielp6406 Posted March 31, 2009 Posted March 31, 2009 ...I think men in heels are great, as long as they are honest about it... It's much better than keeping it a secret, I think. I could not agree more with you SarahLou :-) Thank you for your honest input.
Histiletto Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 Just came across this thread and though I would share my opinion with you about the subject. I have thought about it a lot, and I think men in heels are great, as long as they are honest about it. For example, if you meet a guy, and he is wearing heels, or maybe he talks about them, then he is being honest about it and shows confidence in it. But, if my boyfriend of however many years has been secretly wanting to wear heels, or has been, and just springs it on me then I would hate it. I like open, honest people who are comfortable enough with themselves to show their likes and dislikes with others, even if there is a big fear of rejection. It's much better than keeping it a secret, I think. Oh! How I wish I knew then, what I know now. Would I have known a female would be O.K. with my desire to wear high stilettos, I would have revealed all and then I would probably still expect them to turn and run. If you had a boyfriend, who wasn't upfront with you about wanting to heel, there are socially ingrained reasons for this deceit. You grew up expecting certain ideals taught by society to be met in the partner you decide to be with. Your partner has also been taught the same attitude and has developed a secret world or identity that prevents him from revealing his desire to wear heels. Part of this situation is because he has never really had to openly deal with or communicate his feelings with someone else about it and he doesn't really know how to present it, because he doesn't know all the answers, either. He may have discussed it briefly with you, but you really didn't know to what extent it was a part of his life. So the subject was left hanging, until one day you were kind of hit between the knowledge lobes as to the importance it is for him. He was trying to be as truthful as he understood how be to himself and you, but from past experience he is scared of loosing this relationship once everything is open. Although, I agree a person has to be honest and confident in who they are, they also need to feel accepted for who they are and have time to work through their acts of the perceived dishonesty in keeping their heeling secrets from you. This world of secrets is how he has learned to deal with everything. Of course, the relationship depends on how much you care for them and what you are willing to do and put up with. Obviously, the road would be very hard and he could not blame you for bailing, because that is how people do things in the world he has grown to understand.
pussyinboots Posted April 1, 2009 Posted April 1, 2009 Depends on how it is being worn, it's more like what is more visaly pleasing. A guy in the same outfit as me...full baerd and all hairy like that with budling muscles, yeah it's not working. Like when a seeing someone naked that you don't know eve if it is a stature or painting...which is more pleasing to look at (more then 80% of the populas will say the female form) even if their sexual preference is male they will still prefore to see a female naked. But as a turn off, actualy seeing men in womens clothing would be 80% populas wanting that as a turn on. Men started the wearing of heels around 1500. There was stilettos much older, back to the 1630's. In the 1700's there was actualy a ban for excess foot wear in the americas (those the start of the break of men in fashion). Until 1900 men lead the fashion industry for heeled foot wear. Then it was like WWI and the industrial revolution put a stop to men even being in the fashion industry (this is actualy the first time the Americas actualy stepped out intot he world and became a world power of their own)....or was just a misconception in the general sociteys idea's. Up until around 1900 ALL heeled foot wear was boots either knee or ankle, but around 1900 the pump shoe was introduced to the americas. If it was not for WWI and the industrial revulotion the rest of world would be seeing men STILL in heels as a fashion statment. So you only got like 100 years of biggitry that stayed strong only for 70 years. So as the ones that came to age (ie: 25 yrs) before the 1950's die off more and more people will revort back to how things were before. On stage up until the 1650's Women could not preform on stage, it was men that did the roles of women. Even now it is fully accepted for men to be women on stage. For just even set, costum design and role practicing resigns they have to go out in public areas and mengle. Looking through history and popularty polls. You'll find that the world is not ran by the majorty but by the minority. It takes 100's or 1000's to win to make a good feeling, but only takes 1 to lose to make a bad feeling. Tall, thin heels on women's shoes were introduced in Italy in the '50's by Roger Vivier for Christian Dior - however true metal shank spike heels actually arrived from Italy in the late 1950's. Introduced by Salvatore Ferragamo, he called them 'stilettos', as they resembled the stiletto - a thin, tube shaped, razor sharp knife with a point - used for silent killing. The 1970's were more famous for the return of the platform after a break of nearly 30 years. These are worth a look: http://users.powernet.co.uk/wingett/History1.htm http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stiletto_heel As for men wearing heels - it doesn't bother me one jot. People are far too wound up by superficial appearances, fashion and role stereotypes these days - instead of concentrating on what really matters - which is the human being and the spirit underneath. "Good Girls keep diaries....Bad Girls just don't have the time...!:icon_twisted:"
SarahLou Posted April 2, 2009 Posted April 2, 2009 Histiletto, I know that people feel bad about wearing heels because society doesn't accept them, or they have been told it is wrong etc, but I was just saying how I feel about it. People not being open about themselves has been a major problem in my life. I do not understand why people care about what other people think when it comes to such a major part of their life. My boyfriend and I have just opened up to each other completely, about all kinds of crazy history, desires and thoughts, and I now feel so much closer to him. I always knew he was hiding something before. I hate that feeling you get around people.
Histiletto Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 It is good to hear the both of you can communicate and share the desires of your hearts and minds. May you always have this relationship to help in experiencing life's joyous challenges to mundane monotonies. Happy Heeling!
Bubba136 Posted April 3, 2009 Posted April 3, 2009 My boyfriend and I have just opened up to each other completely, about all kinds of crazy history, desires and thoughts, and I now feel so much closer to him. I always knew he was hiding something before. I hate that feeling you get around people. I hope you explained your unease around his family and he's now aware of how you feel. I would also trust, if he is as "open" as you indicate, he will be helpful in handling and easing your discomfort. Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.
dww Posted April 9, 2009 Posted April 9, 2009 Over the years I have discovered that if a guy is wearing heels may be 2 inches or four inches to a women you are wearing heels and that is that, so to all guys I would say wear 4 inch heels, because you still get the same comment, he's wearing heels. life is not a rehearsal
Dawn HH Posted April 15, 2009 Posted April 15, 2009 And a 4" heel can be as comfortable to some as a 2" heel to others. It ends up being a personal choice in the long run. Cheers--- Dawn HH High Heeled Boots Forever!
Amanda Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 Does the sight of a man in high heels turn you on or off? Do you find it interesting or simply wrong? Are you for it or against it? Men wearing high heels in public, a "do" or a "don't"? Please illuminate the matter with your comment and a poll vote. thx I don't find it attractive at all.
Histiletto Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 The sight of a man in heels may not be attractive, but can he look good?
pussyinboots Posted August 14, 2010 Posted August 14, 2010 The sight of a man in heels may not be attractive, but can he look good? I'm going to post exactly the same thing that I said in another Thread yesterday: A lot of men look absolutely amazing in high heels. If they are worn in the right context - and by that, I mean along with other complimentary clothes and accessories - then there is nothing wrong with them at all and they can look really good. Of course, there is the cross-dressing/TV aspect which we all know about - and again, plenty of guys can look totally convincing - and actually quite gorgeous. It is only when high heels on a guy are worn without any consideration for their overall appearance and impression, that I wince slightly....like, for example....a pair of white 5" spike heeled boots with a business suit. Brave...but wrong!! "Good Girls keep diaries....Bad Girls just don't have the time...!:icon_twisted:"
Histiletto Posted August 14, 2010 Posted August 14, 2010 It is only when high heels on a guy are worn without any consideration for their overall appearance and impression, that I wince slightly....like, for example....a pair of white 5" spike heeled boots with a business suit. I was wonderin', if the business suit had a certain color of pin stripes or highlight threadings, would it be all right to wear heels of the same color? I once had a dark brown suit with gold threading placed sparaticly throughout the suit. By the standards of coordination, two of my color picks for heels could be the dark brown or gold. I also had a light blue business suit. Would white, cream, or blue heels fit for this suit?
pussyinboots Posted August 15, 2010 Posted August 15, 2010 I was wonderin', if the business suit had a certain color of pin stripes or highlight threadings, would it be all right to wear heels of the same color? I once had a dark brown suit with gold threading placed sparaticly throughout the suit. By the standards of coordination, two of my color picks for heels could be the dark brown or gold. I also had a light blue business suit. Would white, cream, or blue heels fit for this suit? If the base colour of the suit is either black, dark grey (charcoal) or dark blue....then the shoes MUST be either black, or grey. It's just the way a suit is....it's not a 'freestyle' item...it's a formal item. There are exceptions...for example, my husband has a beautiful silver-grey Armani suit with very faint white/pink pinstripes - and he wears silver-grey shoes with it. He also wears a pink tie with it too......but he wouldn't wear pink shoes!! A light blue business suit should be accompanied by silver-grey, or light brown shoes. The key word there is 'business'....and much as I loathe 'pigeon-holing', conforming or stereotyping, there are certain 'rules' in society that one really is better off accepting rather than railing against - and the formal wearing of suits for business is one. Histiletto, I know that people feel bad about wearing heels because society doesn't accept them, or they have been told it is wrong etc, but I was just saying how I feel about it. My boyfriend and I have just opened up to each other completely, about all kinds of crazy history, desires and thoughts, and I now feel so much closer to him. I always knew he was hiding something before. I hate that feeling you get around people. SarahLou....I really could not agree with you more! I have never been able to understand the mind-set that has people more worried about what the neighbours think, than getting on with their own lives and fulfilling themselves. My husband and I have been married for 22 years now - and one of our basic 'ground rules' in our marriage is - "no matter how hard, painful or embarrassing it might be......TALK about it with each other!" "Good Girls keep diaries....Bad Girls just don't have the time...!:icon_twisted:"
Histiletto Posted August 15, 2010 Posted August 15, 2010 One of our basic 'ground rules' in our marriage is - "no matter how hard, painful or embarrassing it might be......TALK about it with each other!" Most men are usually too worried that they will loose their partner, should they reveal things like their wanting to openly wear high heels. Then, eventually their beloved finds out and she is left to her own understanding of his activities. Divorce may be hard to do, but when the alternative of living with and tolerating a guy that has the desire that most people have been programmed to think of as a social taboo, divorce becomes the bearable option. The man also doesn't want the love of his life to suffer either, if she can't look up to him as her soulmate. There is also another factor in play here. She feels her position as his wife has always been and will continue to be secondary, when she begins to understand how driven he has been and is to wearing high heels, if they have not communitcated and she feels betrayed about his desire and activities. The truth is: he can't understand why his heeling is prohibited. They are another selection of footwear and he has the desire to wear them. No social decree can rid or expunge this desire from him and because of this he continues to be driven to secretly wear the heels. He hasn't had the luxury of the social okee-dokee to wear without negative feedback. This social action makes him feel like an alien. So, he creates a closet world where all things are evaluated for their true to life position and used to make sense of the social world he has to deal with. With this world of heeling hidden from everyone, he learns that as long as society is against something, they really don't want to deal with it, unless confronted. So, some deceit becomes entwined with the rest of the principles for living in order to keep the secret and fulfill the desire. This type of communicative developement makes it hard to reach out to anyone. All his friendships were never more than surface dealings, because his trust in anyone stopped when it came to others knowing or getting close to knowing about his heeling wishes. Kind of like how the illegal immigrants feel in their situation in coming to United States right now.
Bubba136 Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 Good analysis. This has been said over and over again on this forum. The problem is that by the time someone reads about it here, it's usually too late because they've already charted their course and are living with their decision. Problem is, that more times than not, a man's mate isn't receptive to learning about their fetish or seeing them mincing about the house wearing high heels. There are just so many ways you can present this issue. And, each analysis reveals that the best thing for any man that wears high heels to do is to tell their (prospective) mate about their heels before locking themselves into situations where it becomes a failure -- which is hard on everyone involved. Especially children, if there happen to be any. Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.
pussyinboots Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 Most men are usually too worried that they will loose their partner, should they reveal things like their wanting to openly wear high heels. Then, eventually their beloved finds out and she is left to her own understanding of his activities. Divorce may be hard to do, but when the alternative of living with and tolerating a guy that has the desire that most people have been programmed to think of as a social taboo, divorce becomes the bearable option. The man also doesn't want the love of his life to suffer either, if she can't look up to him as her soulmate. There is also another factor in play here. She feels her position as his wife has always been and will continue to be secondary, when she begins to understand how driven he has been and is to wearing high heels, if they have not communitcated and she feels betrayed about his desire and activities. The truth is: he can't understand why his heeling is prohibited. They are another selection of footwear and he has the desire to wear them. No social decree can rid or expunge this desire from him and because of this he continues to be driven to secretly wear the heels. He hasn't had the luxury of the social okee-dokee to wear without negative feedback. This social action makes him feel like an alien. So, he creates a closet world where all things are evaluated for their true to life position and used to make sense of the social world he has to deal with. With this world of heeling hidden from everyone, he learns that as long as society is against something, they really don't want to deal with it, unless confronted. So, some deceit becomes entwined with the rest of the principles for living in order to keep the secret and fulfill the desire. This type of communicative developement makes it hard to reach out to anyone. All his friendships were never more than surface dealings, because his trust in anyone stopped when it came to others knowing or getting close to knowing about his heeling wishes. Kind of like how the illegal immigrants feel in their situation in coming to United States right now. I was simply referring to 'SarahLou's' comment - about people being worried about what other people think of them - in a general sense. I referred my comments to one specific statement that she made - that is a personal issue to her. "Good Girls keep diaries....Bad Girls just don't have the time...!:icon_twisted:"
Histiletto Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 Hey pussyinboots, As you know, I'm notorious for soapboxing ideas or concerns, especially when I think a perspective could be useful in better understanding life. This doesn't mean I always stay specifically with the subject matter at hand. It is not in my intent to offend, but sometimes I do and for this I apologize. It's a horrid thing or position to be in, but those who have read many of my post know more about me than most of the people I've palled around with. So much for the vehicle of life I have chosen to contend or ignore some of the ugliness I perceive. Here I am again out in left field and the active play is in the batter's box.
The Shark Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 Greatings :-) I agree with you: It depends on how they are being worn. I always wear my boots/shoes with "male" clothing. (I don't wear skirts, dresses, leggings etc). You may want to take a look at the picture in my gallery here http://www.hhplace.org/album.php?albumid=9&pictureid=73 . Daniel - I feel exactly the same as you do & I think you got the right approach to wearing heels in public. Your picture is a good example. Even though I'm really into getting some pumps now, I think that for public heeling, the best thing to do is start off with some womens shoes, boots, clogs, etc. that look "gender neutral". Rather than a pair of pink pumps or peep-toes, a shoe with a chunkier heel would go well. There's loafers and oxfords for women that have 3"-4" heels that nobody would notice if you wore them unless they really looked. I think if guys for the most part started off this way, that it would go a lot further in mens' heels gaining acceptance. Then gradually we can start wearing more of the pumps, sandals & other feminine styles. That's just my opinion, though.
danielp6406 Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 ...but I don't think he'd ever have the confidence to actually wear them in public... Greetings Ami :-) You are very open minded: I like it Does your BF wear any type of heels in public ? What about cuban heels or block heels under jeans ? These type of heels would be more than OK for public wear. Regards, Danielp6406
saudade Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 I have to admit, after getting used to wearing heels out in public with jeans over the top, I don't even really notice that I have them on. They're just shoes to me now after ~1month. And outside of the noise and difference in gait, not many people seem to notice or say anything really. I suppose I'm bucking the trend and not accepting "societal roles" or whatever like Ami said, but I just see it more as accepting that I like to wear high heels because they are just plain fun to wear to me and don't hurt anyone else. Since part of my life philosophy is to accept who I am, I wouldn't be able to really ask anyone else to accept this part of me if I didn't. I'm not trying to dress like a girl or anything, just wearing high heels as shoes. Ok so I'll admit, i've bought more pants that have a longer inseam so that I can cover up the heel easily but that is more my preference at trying to minimize what people see. I used to wonder why women wore jeans like that over heels, I think I understand completely now. But I guess I'll just throw out, who cares if women like that you wear high heels or not? Don't dress for other people, dress for what makes you comfortable and happy. Screw everyone else, if they don't like it thats their problem. Caveats apply if married, etc... insert standard disclaimer etc...usw... Its late and I'm now squirrel bantering/rambling, later!
scrappycoco Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 I have thought about it a lot, and I think men in heels are great, as long as they are honest about it. For example, if you meet a guy, and he is wearing heels, or maybe he talks about them, then he is being honest about it and shows confidence in it. But, if my boyfriend of however many years has been secretly wanting to wear heels, or has been, and just springs it on me then I would hate it. I like open, honest people who are comfortable enough with themselves to show their likes and dislikes with others, even if there is a big fear of rejection. It's much better than keeping it a secret, I think. Ok even thought I am obviously not female I have to respond to this. SarahLou I can not agree with you more about the comment you just made. Awhile back some one I work with got ahold of a picture that I ahd out on twitter of me wearing heels. That in it's self is not really that big of a deal, but the fact that he took that picture and sent it out to a bunch of people that we work with that's the problem. For a long time I was rather upset about it, but as time wore on I got over it. Now how did I manage that well by being honest and open. I have worked with several of the women at my place of employment that have been bold enough to come right out and ask me. I tell the the honest truth and do not hide it. I have found that most of the time when I have come right out and told them the way I feel they are cool with it. The most recent one I can think of was I switched station's with this other person and worked with a lady who is a very nice person and is quite for the most part. As we are sitting there half way through the 24hr shift she out of the blue ask's me about the skirt's and heels I wear. At first I was quite dumbfounded by this cause I would have never expected this from her. After gathering my thought's and getting over the shock I told her how I felt. After I got done explaining my though's and my oppinion's she just looked at me and said "Well you do have the leg's too pull off the skirt's and heels. As a matter of fact you look better in a skirt and heels than I do!" So I guess what I am getting at is that most of the women that I have met while wearing heel's have asked me question's out of curiosity and I have answered them honestly and trufully and I think they respect me for that. I even had one tell me that she just love's the fact that I am brave enough to be me and am honest and I don't hide the fact that I am me.
louis c Posted November 14, 2011 Posted November 14, 2011 If the base colour of the suit is either black, dark grey (charcoal) or dark blue....then the shoes MUST be either black, or grey. It's just the way a suit is....it's not a 'freestyle' item...it's a formal item. There are exceptions...for example, my husband has a beautiful silver-grey Armani suit with very faint white/pink pinstripes - and he wears silver-grey shoes with it. He also wears a pink tie with it too......but he wouldn't wear pink shoes!! A light blue business suit should be accompanied by silver-grey, or light brown shoes. The key word there is 'business'....and much as I loathe 'pigeon-holing', conforming or stereotyping, there are certain 'rules' in society that one really is better off accepting rather than railing against - and the formal wearing of suits for business is one. i do wonder where do those rules come from? i am curious. i have never worn a suit. or a shirt or a tie. not even a golf shirt and dokkers. not even a sport coat. i have only worn jeans and shorts and t shirts. i have always wondered what governs the different choices people make when wearing formal clothes. i never understood what color goes with what. seems that different countries have different ideas about it as well. any info on the subject is appreciated.
Serena NYC Posted November 15, 2011 Posted November 15, 2011 I guess I never really thought about this until looking at this site. The thought is a little strange to me, but I guess I'm not really against it. It would depend on what the guy looked like. I mean, like if he is strong and muscular, it would take away so much of that hotness. Then I have to think about my boyfriend, who is 6'7", with a (male) size 12-13 foot, and I wouldn't even begin to be able to imagine that without giggling. But I guess on some guys it could look ok. Need to think about this some more.
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