Does any of your family know?

[johnieheel]

Does any of your brothers, sisters, mom's dad's or any other family member know you wear heels and what was their response if any? I myself have 2 older brothers who I do not believe would except their little brother in heels. I have shown one brother a pic for fun and he freaked out. O well.

[new_look]

i feel my family would be the same to be honest. and probably most of my mates as well as u say, oh well what they dont know doesnt hurt em

[metalspikes]

Most of my family has no tolerance whatsoever. My parents knew I was wearing heels when I was a child, and shamed the crap out of me about it. I was driven to wear them out doors, because I wanted the acceptance-- it was too dangerous to do it during the daytime (too much homophobia in that time and place, too much risk of people reacting violently), so I did it at night. On one occasion I was arrested and my parents called out of bed to come retrieve me at 2:00 AM. Things like this prompted my mum to scream at me once "Do you want the kids from your school to come stand under your bedroom window and chant 'J--- wears women's shoes, J--- wears women's shoes!'?"

My Mum knows that I currently crossdress. Her remark on the subject was "I understand that it is incurable (!!), but I don't want to see you that way!" Though she is a licensed cosmetologist, she refuses to teach me anything about hair care. I think the only reason she leaves me alone about my fingernails now is because I've walked away from her and stopped talking to her for several years, and she knows I will do it again if she starts in with the hyper-criticism again.

As far as I know my father doesn't know about my crossdressing, and I am certain that he would not be able to accept it (or me). As for my heel wearing as a child, it never gets mentioned in conversation, if he even thinks of it at all-- it may well have been swept into the back recesses of his mind.

I never had much acceptance at all. I was constantly pressured by some of my family to cut my hair. Both my father (who usually says nothing about it) and his sister (my aunt) have expressed concern over the length of my hair, thinking that it would be repulsive to women. The last time my father expressed that, I said "Women like long hair on a guy. No, I take that back-- they love it." All I got was a thoughtful "Hmmmm..." (at least he sounded like he might've been willing to reconsider his stereotypes).

The only person in my family who at least says that she accepts my crossdressing is my mom's sister (my mom of course had to blab it to her, and she had to blab it to her daughter, my cousin-- that's how it got back to me). I wonder how she will respond if I get the chance to show her the boots I bought with some money she gave me...

So, for all practical purposes, I have no acceptance or support in my family for "freestyle" fashions, and a heavy dose of shaming and brainwashing to overcome. When it comes to cleaning up the legacy of my past and gaining my freedom of self-expression, the issue of being able to wear heels in public is small stuff. I think the toxic waste dump I've been left with could qualify both as a Superfund cleanup site and for FEMA disaster relief.

[furhighheels]

In a word, no. No one in my family know. Not even my sister (who knows I'm gay by the way). But I do have a couple of friends (all female) who know, and a couple of ex-partners who rather disappointingly (but understandably) wasn't really into it.

[wood&metal]

I'm not 100% certain, but I don't think any of my family knows. It's fine with me because none in my immediate family are accepting of anything that may be remotely construed as out of the ordinary. The only person around me that knows is my former girlfriend, and my thing for heels in no way contributed to our splitting up.

[Pumps]

I'm not open to my family about my freestyling. It's not that I'm affraid to tell them, it's just not necesary. I think my dad may have an idea, from when I was living at home. Things like accidentaly putting a pair of pantyhose in the hamper and leaving a pair of pumps out of hiding, may have given him an idea, but he never mentionened it. I once bought a male skirt in H&M and wore it with my family (my mom and my sisters family). I don't think they thought it was cool and we haven't taked much about it since. I once wore a skirt to work and I may do it again soon if it get's hot again. They think it's a bit weird and jokes about it, but not in a hostile way. This summer I've been more open than ever about my skirt wearing. I've actually not been wearing shorts once yet. I just have a feeling that once it becomes to "normal", I will lose interest. If not I, then will wear the skirt around my family too and who knows maybe heels as well.

[thedesigner]

they all do and "whatever" if they dont like it! If u are a cardboard cutout u wont get anywhere in life, be yrself !! Think about it, those who stand out from the crowd get noticed as theyve got the bollox to be themselves and not conform. Watch anyone in the fashion and entertainment business!! Go 4 it!

[pumplover]

I dont think anyone in my family needs to know. Its something I enjoy and I keep to myself. I am sure they have secrets I dont know about either

[micha]

My whole family knows that I'm wearing high heels. I have written here some years ago about my very first outing on stiletto boots at a family meeting. Hence I need not anymore to be afraid of meeting my sister or my mom by accident in the main shopping mall of Frankfurt

[Danielinheels]

An aunt, my mom, and my mom's mom know. The three of them are good enough for me.

[metalspikes]

they all do and "whatever" if they dont like it! If u are a cardboard cutout u wont get anywhere in life, be yrself !! Think about it, those who stand out from the crowd get noticed as theyve got the bollox to be themselves and not conform. Watch anyone in the fashion and entertainment business!! Go 4 it!

It is sometimes surprising what people will accept from celebrities, even if they find it personally distasteful, because they consider it to be part of a celebrity's "image." Perhaps it is the same sort of bias, when what is termed "eccentric" among the rich and powerful is considered just plain weirdness when common folk do it.

I should also point out that some people have much more history, and many more hurdles to overcome, before they can become strong enough to stand up and face the "music." It has precious little to do with anatomy. For some people, saying that they don't have the bollox to stand up and come out of hiding makes about as much sense as saying that a paraplegic doesn't have the bollox to stand up and walk. There are more ways to find oneself on one's back than to be laid up in hospital, and the wounds and scars that don't show up on medical scans that are sometimes the most difficult to heal. I am grateful that there is more support than scorn ("stand up and be a man" and other such stereotypes) on this board for those who still have a ways to go to get there.

[thedesigner]

i know what ure saying, ive had pisstaking too, fortunately no physical abuse, so i realise it dents yr confidence. Nowadays I enjoy people wondering 'is he or isnt he'

[crotchhiboots]

My whole family knows and even my sisters have bought me shoes. I have gone to my sisters house wearing my heels and I havent been rejected. One summer I was at my sisters and I had on my cork weadges and my mom thought that my nailpolish on my toes looked great. I even wore my black weadges in front of my father and didn't get a negative word out of him.

[iloveboots]

Hi crotchhiBoots.....david Hope you're doing well? My immediate family knows, Cathy (partner 34 years) and our two adult children and their partners. Cathy and I share our enjoyment of high heel Boots out and about in public and have not hidden this from either child. My two brothers do not know however we are not very close and they know very little about our lives anyway. My sister who we are closer to knows but we do not wear our high heel Boots around her when we visit. Cheers, david & cathy

[BB_in_heels]

None of my family know, I'm pretty sure they would not be every accepting of my heel wearing. Been thinking about telling a few close friends, as it would be good to be able to go out with friends while in heels.

[metalspikes]

i know what ure saying, ive had pisstaking too, fortunately no physical abuse, so i realise it dents yr confidence.

Fortunate, indeed. I have survived physical abuse, and have known other survivors of even more than I've had. And I knew one beautiful person who checked out early because it all was more than she could take...

[johnieheel]

None of my family know, I'm pretty sure they would not be every accepting of my heel wearing.

Been thinking about telling a few close friends, as it would be good to be able to go out with friends while in heels.

If they are your true friends, they won't mind. I opened up to my best friend and he went as far as to look up passionforfootwear for me and it changed my whole life. Not easy to find a friend like that.

[sd61831]

Dear New Look,I lovethose yellow heels.May I ask where you purchased them. No one knows,in my family.Im divorced,but have three grown daughters.I will probably tell one of them,so that they wont have a heart atack when they find my 60 plus pairs of heels I am having a little trouble,doing things on this site.Am trying to get a message to NEW LOOK.I love those heels and was wondering where you bought them.

[BB_in_heels]

If they are your true friends, they won't mind. I opened up to my best friend and he went as far as to look up passionforfootwear for me and it changed my whole life. Not easy to find a friend like that.

True, my only worry is that they may not react well & the one friend I'm considering telling has been one of my best friends since my first year at university, we've been through a lot together (both got partners at about the same time & both been through difficult break ups after long relationships)

I'm really not sure I want to risk lossing such a good friend (I know if they truly are a good friend they will not care but at the moment I'm not sure I want to risk it)

[nhoj62]

i must admit it is hard to find people who you can trust enough to tell and not have them freak out on you. i have told about three of my closest friends and they have not freaked out, which i was very pleased about good to have a little support. my parents, my dad is quiet about it and my mum just makes sarcastic comments and is generally negative about it. so i usually end up wearing heels in my room or when i go to my best mates place. need to find some one in my area who is actually into heels, to meet up with to get out and about with in heels really, tho it is difficult with commuting to work and all, not much time really. oh well will keep trying. later all john

[Marcus]

Does my family know? I hope no! Jokes aside, my little bro doesn't and my dad even less. I care about what my mum may know, so I never talk with her about shoes. She's the most suspicious in my family, but I'm even better in keeping secrets hidden. Sometimes I thought to myself "What about coming out, or starting expressing my admiration for women wearing heels?", but then I preferred not to risk. So, nobody knows in my family, and I think will never know.

[chris100575]

My cousin knows and she's cool about it, in fact we used to share shoes when she was living here for a while. Most of my friends know too and they're all fine with it. Chris

[johnieheel]

My daughter age 26 supprised me at work today with a late fathers day gift. We work at the same place only diff. shifts. I am comming in when she is going home and we usually meet for a few minutes. We have a very close realaitionship and she has known about my heel wearing for some time and has no prob with it. Her mother clued her in a few years ago. We are all still very close. Any way she loves having fun with my passion for heels so her and her mother made me this or these rather, for fathers day and she gave them to me in the lunch room today in front of everybody in which case the whole plant already knows my love for heels. This is so cool.

[johnieheel]

My daughter age 26 supprised me at work today with a late fathers day gift. We work at the same place only diff. shifts. I am comming in when she is going home and we usually meet for a few minutes. We have a very close realaitionship and she has known about my heel wearing for some time and has no prob with it. Her mother clued her in a few years ago. We are all still very close. Any way she loves having fun with my passion for heels so her and her mother made me this or these rather, for fathers day and she gave them to me in the lunch room today in front of everybody in which case the whole plant already knows my love for heels. This is so cool.

[dingpat]

none of my family knows. I'm pretty sure they would not be ok with me wearing heels because they're very traditional. Only one of my friends knows too.

[johnieheel]

I have been reluctant to tell my brother that YES, I do wear heels, although he has lived with me for 2 months recently and knows about my heels but never said any thing. Wifes whole family knows and insists I wear heels when we visit. They like my style. I recently wrote a letter to my brother and hesitated to mail it for a few days but wife encouraged me. Got a return letter yesterday. Wife handed it to me and didn't say anything. Here's what my brother said about my heels. Hey little brother, If you want to wear high heels,dresses, bra's, panties, or what ever, your still my little brother and I will love you no matter what. I only kid you about that stuff. If anybody should ever put you down for it, I would be the 1st to defend you. So don't worry about it. I don't want you to feel you can't talk to me about anything. I'm there for you ALWAYS Little brother. (ALWAYS!) Blew my mind. A lot of the time you get the excat oppisite of what you expect.

[roniheels]

My family knows. They don't care. They don't like me wearing high heels to any family get togethers (although I do wear my high heeled cowboy boots and nothing is said). They have always shown me love and acceptance, but through their body language I know they would probably rather me not. What is ironic, just recently I had a cousin come out-of-the-closet and admit that he was gay. His wife divorced him, he lost custody of his two children, and our family has nothing to do with him. When I told my family about my high heel wearing yet told them I was not gay, I'm still accepted. I have nothing against my gay cousin. I still keep in contact with him often. But I just thought it was strange of the reactions of my family.

[Guest]

My sister caught me 40ish years ago, passed it on to our parents, got one hell of a lecture from my dad never been mentioned since he's feeding fish now so no abuse there now. my sister has probable forgotton? Testing the water with my lady, so far so good she's acknowledging I have an eccentric streak, (or had and getting it back) She's very aware of my interest just not quite how much yet??

[Duck]

Put simply, yes, but I've only really talked about it to my brother. My parents have seen my shoes for certain but havn't said anything about it yet but its clearly all fine or they would say something. Most my real life friends don't know though but most online friends do and they're all fine with it. To everyone who still has it as a total secret its probably not worth your effort keeping it secret as they will still love you and quite quite probably have noticed already and are just waiting for you to say something.

[euchrid]

Aside from my missus (who found me out - see earlier threads for that story), I don't think so. I certainly haven't told my sister, my parents, my ma-in-law or anyone else and I trust my missus not to have told them.

Nothing could be gained from letting others know, as far as I can see.

It would only lead to stupid questions ... "so are you sure you don't want to be a woman", etc...