thedesigner Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 clever shoemakers have worked out how to adapt to the times and beat the credit crisis, and they're now making a wedge.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thedesigner Posted November 6, 2008 Share Posted November 6, 2008 other manufacturers, making sandals, aren't so lucky. They are no longer offering credit terms to their customers, they're strapped for cash.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thedesigner Posted November 8, 2008 Share Posted November 8, 2008 car rental companies, doing okay, reporting hire profits.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thedesigner Posted November 8, 2008 Share Posted November 8, 2008 tyre companies, however, aren't convinced. They say the future is flat.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thedesigner Posted November 8, 2008 Share Posted November 8, 2008 as you may have read, shipping companies are selling cruises real cheap. They're struggling to stay afloat.... The mortgate companies are cutting back on their company cars... the loan a'ranger comes now on horseback.... Pig breeders doing alright... still got both feet in the trough... watchmakers on short time working... clock case makers even worse, they were used to working round the clock... car workers being laid off, it's an economy drive. Managers hope it will steer them to recovery.... As a result of people not buying new cars, breakdown companies expect business to pick up..... Elevator companies say business is up and down.... The other day I said some bakers were going out of business as they had no more dough, well other companies say business is rising.... Car dismantlers not losing money, apparently they're breaking even.... Chocolate makers have introduced a new flavour, now they're making a mint... With people being laid off work, I heard that people are learning to swim like never before. Do anything to keep their heads above water.... Zoos are in trouble. They're having difficulty selling animals. They say it's a bear market.... Mind you, it's odds on, the betting shops are doing okay... The recession has hit the card shops, they're doing a multipurpose card with a birthday/christmas/mothers day/with our condolences tick box option..... Going to bed now... was talking to a bed retailer, used to make king size profits, now down to single figures, but he's got a couple of sleeping directors to cover him..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thedesigner Posted November 8, 2008 Share Posted November 8, 2008 INVESTMENT ADVICE Should have given you this tip before, but the word on the street is, buy into scissor making companies. All over the world, companies are cutting corners to save money. Expect a sharp increase in sales..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vector Posted November 15, 2008 Share Posted November 15, 2008 tyre companies, however, aren't convinced. They say the future is flat.... I thought they said things were rolling along.... Though some companies probably feel like they're going round in circles... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thedesigner Posted November 16, 2008 Share Posted November 16, 2008 car repairers are feeling the crunch tho, car disc and pad companies are breaking even.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dww Posted November 16, 2008 Share Posted November 16, 2008 If pigs could fly, the price of bacon would go up. (the old ones are the best) life is not a rehearsal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vector Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 car repairers are feeling the crunch tho, car disc and pad companies are breaking even.... I thought disc and pad companies were wearing down.... Even squealing from the pressure! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen J Posted November 18, 2008 Share Posted November 18, 2008 I believe enough time has passed for this one, so..... "Why doesn't Chelsea Clinton have any brothers or sisters?" "Monica ate them." Sorry about that, I appologize. Jen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yozz Posted November 19, 2008 Share Posted November 19, 2008 I haven't talked to my wife for three days. I don't like to interupt her. Raise your voice. Put on some heels. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thedesigner Posted November 21, 2008 Share Posted November 21, 2008 I've got a solicitor to talk to my wife. And a girlfriend to talk with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vector Posted November 21, 2008 Share Posted November 21, 2008 Please forgive me, but... How do you know when a woman is going to say something intelligent? When she starts her statement with, "A man once said..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy N. Heels Posted November 21, 2008 Share Posted November 21, 2008 This upset economy has hit everyone hard. In Chicago the Mafia just laid-off 3 judges. Keep on stepping, Guy N. Heels Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smitty55 Posted November 21, 2008 Share Posted November 21, 2008 Allright then, here's one..... A Scotsman, and Irishman and an Englishman walk into a pub. That bartender takes one look and says "What is this, a joke?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smitty55 Posted November 21, 2008 Share Posted November 21, 2008 And one more..... I got a job at an orange juice factory, but it didn't last long--I got canned. They said I couldn't concentrate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vector Posted November 22, 2008 Share Posted November 22, 2008 Smitty55, You're lucky they didn't put the squeeze on you! Or worse, beat you to a pulp. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba136 Posted November 22, 2008 Share Posted November 22, 2008 Smitty55, You're lucky they didn't put the squeeze on you! Or worse, beat you to a pulp. this is truely funny! Great humor! Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smitty55 Posted November 22, 2008 Share Posted November 22, 2008 Smitty55, You're lucky they didn't put the squeeze on you! Or worse, beat you to a pulp. Good one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thedesigner Posted November 23, 2008 Share Posted November 23, 2008 Youre just takin the pith.... If smitty was hurt, he'd summon lemon aid.... I used to work in a fish canning factory myself too. Boy, was it crowded. We were packed in like sardines. Really disorganised, they'd throw us a fish, we'd catch a mackerel. At least I could wear me 'eels.... The pay was rotten, they were a bunch of sharks.... Sorry to carp on about this, i was done up like a kipper... I had to leave. They played music all the time. Made me 'ard of 'erring.... Turned out, it was the piano tuna.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vector Posted November 23, 2008 Share Posted November 23, 2008 Hopefully you didn't spend too much time using the computer. You could get "hooked" to being on-line to the net! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guy N. Heels Posted November 25, 2008 Share Posted November 25, 2008 Smitty55, You're lucky they didn't put the squeeze on you! Or worse, beat you to a pulp. Especially with seedy-looking characters. But he'll keep his eyes peeled from now on. Keep on stepping, Guy N. Heels Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vector Posted November 26, 2008 Share Posted November 26, 2008 Nice one!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dww Posted December 5, 2008 Share Posted December 5, 2008 Large hole has appeared in the middle of the motorway, police are looking into it. life is not a rehearsal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightsnheels Posted December 5, 2008 Share Posted December 5, 2008 Large hole has appeared in the middle of the motorway, police are looking into it. And what they see at the bottom of it is our economy. T&H "Look for the woman in the dress, if there is no dress there is no woman."-Coco Channel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thedesigner Posted December 6, 2008 Share Posted December 6, 2008 apparently it was a bunch of willies at the bottom of the hole. Police said, "things are looking up." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnieheel Posted January 6, 2009 Share Posted January 6, 2009 We always talk about just being yourself no matter if its green spiked hair or high heels on a man. Here is a joke I recieved in my email from a friend you all might enjoy. --- OLD PEOPLE I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes. We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time. When the teen- ager had enough, he sarcastically asked, 'What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?' Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; knowing he would have a good one. And in classic style, he did not bat an eye in his response... 'Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son. ' real men wear heels Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thedesigner Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 With apologies to Tim Vine, the master of one liners (not eyeliners): "Youre the man who invented Tippex... Correct me if I'm wrong..."" "Exit signs... they're on the way out..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thedesigner Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 another one, another one before I go... bloke goes up Mount Everest, all the gear, crampons, pickaxes, you know. Talks to everyone on the way, asks how theyre doing, tells them his life story. Apparently he was a social climber.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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