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About kirkules

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    Comfy Loafer
  1. A biker goes to Hell astride his bike. He whellies his machine through the gates of Hell but comes to an immediate stop. In front of him are plush meadows full of butter cups and poppies and daisies and dandylions. Scattered about were picnic benches. Surrounding these benches were ordinary people eating picnic food and drinking beer. The biker dismounts his bike, and with mouth wide open approaches a bench. A guy turns to him and offers him a beer, some sandwiches and some crisps along with the usual picnic victuals. The biker accepts and starts to enjoy himself. Then he spots the Main Man. He walks up to the Devil and says "Mr Devil, not that I am complaining or anything, but this is not how I imagined Hell to be!" "Oh yes, that!" replies the Devil. "See that track over yonder that goes over the hill? Follow it to an old house. I think there you will find what you are looking for." So the biker walks up over the hill over the track pointed out to him by the Devil. He see's the old house and walks up to it. As he approaches he can hear an abomination of noises. Whips cracking, steam hissing and human screams of terror. He looks through a Bulleye window and turns white at the image inside. In front of him are people being flayed with hot irons, rusty nails being hammered under their fingernails. Stomachs being......you get the picture. The biker runs off feeling sick, back in the direction of the picnic area. The Devil see's him and say "I see you found what you were looking for!" "But I don't understand" says the biker "Here you are, picnicing and being all nice while there are people being brutally tortured!" ""Beats me!" says the Devil, "That's how the Catholics like it!"
  2. William Shakespear walks into a Pub and the barman shouts to him "You can't come in...........you're bard!"
  3. dr1819............... Please...! Don't give up your day job..............though the polar bear gag was good. A guy walks into a bar and orders fifty shots of whisky. He downs them all in quick succession. The barman leans over and asks why he is drinking so many shots....... "Because I ahve just had my first blow-job...." says yhe guy. The barman pats him on the back and says "Well done mate, here, have one more on the house!" "Forget it" says the guy, "If fifty can't get rid of the taste, another one won't make any difference!"
  4. A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks... "Why the long face..?" :drinking:
  5. Their new (ish) video 'Buttons' is HOT HOT HOT !!!!!! Sexy girls wearing very lovely boots and skimpy outfits. I had to download it from iTunes.
  6. Brilliant Shockqueen....!! I laughed out loud. Everyone must check this out, see shockqueen post above and follow the instructions. Good luck..
  7. Two dogs are sitting in the vets. Bob and Bill. Bob turns to Bill and asks why he is there. "Well" says Bill, "I was out walking with the master when this French Poodle bitch walked past. She was shaven as they do and I thought 'Woof Woof' and pulled off my leash and gave her a good seeing to.....so I'm here to have me nadgers cut off!" "That is terrible...!" Says Bob. "So why you here Bob..?" Asks Bill. "Well" starts Bob, "I was in the masters bedroom, laying on the bed cleaning my bits.......because I can when the mistress came out of the shower glistening wet with nothing but a small towel around her. The towel fell off and she bent over saying 'Bugger Me...' so I did just that. I couldn't help myself. I lept off the bed and mounted her". "Oh no...!" says Bill. "So are you here to be put down....?" "Nah.....!!" Says Bob, "I'm getting my claws cut......!"
  8. All the daft jokes are coming out to get me past the twenty five post marker and off these comfy loafers.
  9. The Lone Ranger and Tonto go into this one horse town looking for a baddy in the middle of winter. They stop at a saloon bar. The Lone Ranger says to Tonto... "Tonto, you wait here.......these people aren't too welcoming to Indians!" The Lone Ranger tells him. "But it is cold out here!" says Tonto. "Run on the spot then, it will keep you warm" says the Lone Ranger and off he goes into the saloon bar. After about five minutes a cowboy walks into the saloon, saunters up to the bar and asks... "Who owns the silver horse outside...?" "Me..!" says The Lone Ranger, standing up from a table, hand on his holster. "Why.....?" "Cause you left your Ingine running...!!!!!!!!!!!"
  10. A man walks into a pub with a giraffe in tow. He orders two pints of beer, one for him and one for the giraffe. After about ten pints, the giraffe falls over drunk and lays on the floor. The guys stands up and goes to leave. The barman says to him... "Oi....you can't leave that l'yin' there" "It's not a lion" says the guy........"It's a giraffe...!!"
  11. On the talking animal theme........ A guy goes into a pet shop and asks the owner if he has a talking parot. "No" says the owner "but I do have a talking centipeed..!" "I'll take it" says the guy, passes over some money and walks out of the shop with the centipeed in a box under his arm. When he gets home, the guys opens the box and introduces himself to his new friend. There is no reply. "Do you fancy going down to the pub for a pint of beer?" The guy asks the centipeed. No reply so he leaves it five minutes and asks again "Do you fancy going to the pub for a pint of beer?" Still no reply. This time he leans over the box and says slowly and concisely "I am going to the pub for a beer. Do you fancy coming?" "I heard you the first time!" Says the centipeed. "Give me a chance, I'm putting my shoes on...............!"
  12. Last night, 30 July 06, was my local town's wine festival, my local town being Cella in Deutchland. So a group of us decided to hit the town. I had panited my toenails purple the night before and felt at ease with them. I walked into my friends room bare foot and had a chat. One of the lads there happened to glance down and saw my feet, went quiet and upon me leaving I heard him whisper to his mate 'Did you see his toenails? He has painted them!' Shock Horreur...........!!! When we finally made it to the town, we all bought a bottle of vino each and started chatting. I was wearing a pink Paisley style patterned Ben Sherman short sleeve shirt with blue knee length denim shorts and a pair of Clarks brown leather sandles with just a part of my bigs toes and pinkies showing. One of the other guys had obviously been coersed into asking me the question. "Kirkules! Why are your toenails purple dude?" he asks. "Because I haven't got any pink nail varnish!" I replied. His face was a picture. So we chatted for a while and I tried to explain to him why I enjoy dressing as a 'chick' or even wearing some small parts of girls raiments. For a young lad he seemed to take it well.
  13. Alas Micha, duty calls that weekend for Queen and Country. In other words, I have to work and there is no way of getting out of it. But I hope you have a great time. Regards from Kirkules
  14. Micha and dr1819, I have recently moved to Celle, near Hannover amnd am yet to venture out into public in either a skirt and heels and make-up or just heels. I am unsure of of the attitude of the German public towards this kind of thing. Are the Germans accepting of cross-dressers in public, or men in heels? I have toyed with the idea of wearing heeled boots while riding my motorbike around the area. The only thing putting me off is if I have the same control of my machine with a stilletto heel on the footpeg. TBG, hope your back recovers fully soon..... Regards to everyone......
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