Buying shoes in shoe stores

[docs41]

Okay guys, many of us have bought women's shoes in the self serve type shoe stores and even tried them on there. I have no trouble at all in that kind of outlet, but it is difficult in the more conventional stores where you deal with clerks. My courage seems to disappear in those places, especially if it is necessary to try them on. How about you pros out there, do you have any advice for us novices?

[ward]

yes, i have some experience there. The best thing to do in my opinion is to go to a large department store, like marshall fields, nordstrom, macys, and such. it seems that the shoe dept. employees there are not going to embarrass a potental customer. They do not know if you have made large purchases in other depts. and do not want to lose a customer that may well spend thousands in other depts. High heels for ever, ward

[Nate]

Okay guys, many of us have bought women's shoes in the self serve type shoe stores and even tried them on there. I have no trouble at all in that kind of outlet, but it is difficult in the more conventional stores where you deal with clerks. My courage seems to disappear in those places, especially if it is necessary to try them on. How about you pros out there, do you have any advice for us novices?

I believe I may be able to offer something useful. What works for me is to not offer any excuses whatsoever. Just do it non-chalantly as if you do it twenty times a day (an easy thing to say, I know.) I used to go through the whole shpeal about wanting to get them for my girlfriend. But, sometimes being so forthcoming with an excuse is somewhat of a giveaway. This makes a little bit of an assumption that you aren't going to try them on before you buy them. As for this, I'm afraid I can't offer any advice, as even I am not brave enough to try them on in the stores just yet. But, doing it without offering any excuses seems to draw even less attention than making it a point to have a reason.

Sometimes bravery is a learned behavior. :-)

[Keli]

It's hard for some people, you just have to jump in and do it. I walk into the store and ask the sales people for the shoe in my size. I tell them that I am a crossdresser, and I would like to try them on. I have been asked to walk in them to prove they are for me, I have had sales people wisper to their collegues " They're for the guy" over and over again. I figure my money will spend anywhere, and I can shop where I please. Overall, I have been treated with respect, not ridiculed or embarassed by the clerks.

[loveheel]

You can read on this topic in many other threads where many of the old timers of this board have given their own approach. In the end the best advice is just to be confident. And if the sales people are not accomodating, just walk away. There are plenty of shoe shops. Having said that here is some stuff that helps: Wear women's shoes going in. If you are uncomfortable wearing very high heels in public, then just wear some lower heels. But sales people will know that they are women's shoes. That way there is already an unspoken communication that you are buying for yourself. I have probably bought over 30 pairs of shoes and boots and shoes in stores and have NEVER had a negative reaction. Reactions tend to range from a but surprised, or uninterested, to very supportive. Surprisingly, supportive reactions sometimes come from other customers in the store. Part of the fun is to talk to the sales people about the shoes. I am disappointed when I have to buy something in a self-service store. Several times I have had sales people ask me if I want to try something on, just when I am browsing. So they definitely know that I am buying for myself, even when I haven't told them. And that is even when I am not wearign serious heels.

[genebujold]

Walk in with the same casual air you'd walk into a hardware department to buy a pair of pliers: "May I help you?" "Hi, yes, you may. May I see this style (hold up the shoe) in a size 11? Thank you." You're a customer, they're the clerk. What could be more natural? I'm sure they twig more when a woman buys an outrageous-looking shoe than when a man buys a stylish heeled loafer.

[docs41]

Thanks for the advice guys. I actually went into a shop the day after I posted the original message. I was determined to buy a pair of Dansko clogs that were DEFINITELY a woman's style. While some clogs are unisex, these were not. The owner of the store knows me from previous sales and she didn't even bat an eye when I wanted to try on that style. The size that I tried was a bit small so she ordered a pair in my size. (size 41). She thought they looked fine and her main concern was getting a proper fit! You guys are right, the sales people are more interested in helping a customer rather than making an issue of our choices. If we do encounter a thoughtless individual we have the option of leaving them without our business. Thanks again for the advice and support!!!

[Fog]

Here's my two penneth worth - for the average sales person in a shoe shop it adds a bit of spice to their day to get a male customer trying on ladies shoes. I'm very very new to this, but I just love trying on shoes in shops, and as long as you're polite, and as everyone before me has said, confident, i.e. you know your money is as good as anyone else's, you're as likely to get feted by the staff. As has already been said it's good to talk to the staff about them. Put both shoes on, (establish that you don't look a complete prat in them), then walk around and ask the staff what they think of them and engage them in conversation. Shoe sales people are people after all, and their days must drag.

[heelsRus]

Here's my two penneth worth - for the average sales person in a shoe shop it adds a bit of spice to their day to get a male customer trying on ladies shoes. I'm very very new to this, but I just love trying on shoes in shops, and as long as you're polite, and as everyone before me has said, confident, i.e. you know your money is as good as anyone else's, you're as likely to get feted by the staff. As has already been said it's good to talk to the staff about them. Put both shoes on, (establish that you don't look a complete prat in them), then walk around and ask the staff what they think of them and engage them in conversation. Shoe sales people are people after all, and their days must drag.

Yeah, you people are dangerous :-)

I've actually been considering going in to our local Payless to get a pair of boots. Around here the community is very small. I met someone recently in an academic environment that a good friend used to work with (more than 2000km and more than 10 years away!). Just so happens I know someone that I play hockey with that also worked with him (at another company). All that to say that the world is very small. Who knows who you'll meet that knows someone you work with..... And in my line of work that wouldn't be helpful.

[larry]

Larry here. Yup, I have bought heels in person a few times at various stores, No problems! One time I purchased 5 pairs of panty hose from Hudsons, now Marshall Fields. The sales lady who helped me asked (are these for you) When I said yes she looked a little confused and her facial expression asked why. I replied that I have a fetish and I love the feel of stockings. She was really interested and wanted to hear more but I was pressed for time. At Fredericks of Hollywood I purchased stockings in two seperate sizes. The cashier sez you know that you have two different sizes here. I sez yup! Ones for my wife and the others are for me. She sez aw c'mon. I slipped my loafer off and showed her my stocking foot. Man did she laugh, her face turned bright red and she laughed till she cried. She grabbed my arm and gave me a hug and sez thanks for making her day. A few weeks later I ran into her at a pub. She came over to say hello and sez I see youre wearing socks today. More hysterical laughter and another hug. I love her personality. I bought a round of drinks for her and her friends and got the hell out of there.....Larry

[Bubba136]

Hmm! I'm surprised that you got that type of reaction at a FOH store. Of all stores selling sexy women's things, I would think they would be more used to men purchasing "things" for thier wives and themselves than almost any other chain -- except for Victoria Secret and outlets catering exclusively to crossdressers. I've found that shoe stores in smaller towns that are apt to employ younger female clerks are worse for negative reaction than stores in larger cities where clerks are more experienced.

[loveheel]

Thanks for the advice guys. I actually went into a shop the day after I posted the original message. I was determined to buy a pair of Dansko clogs that were DEFINITELY a woman's style. While some clogs are unisex, these were not. The owner of the store knows me from previous sales and she didn't even bat an eye when I wanted to try on that style. The size that I tried was a bit small so she ordered a pair in my size. (size 41). She thought they looked fine and her main concern was getting a proper fit! You guys are right, the sales people are more interested in helping a customer rather than making an issue of our choices.

Great. I am glad it worked out for you. Of course, you know what this means ? Soon you will be shopping for shoes all the time ...

[BobHH]

Most of the Frederick's stores are small shops in malls, selling mainly lingerie, with maybe a couple of shoe styles. The main store in Hollywood is much more used to men. I have bought shoes there a number of times (great prices!) and been asked if I want to try them on. I have always been with the BW or a girl friend. Have only seen one other man trying shoes on at Frederick's. I have tried shoes on at Maya's in Hollywood, but I hear that store is gone. Hard to compete with some of the bigger, cheaper ones.

[B-booted]

Just to add to other comments. Go into the shop as though you were going to buy any other item. I was surprised that when I went to Dolcis the shop assistant agree that the boots I was trying on looked good. OK she was probably going for the sale. None of the other customers seemed to notice. The more you do it the esier it becomes.

[Jimnj3]

Just went to Pay Less today at noon hour. Purchased a nice pair of knee boots with a 3" stacked heel. Tryed them on in the store and nobody said anything..Was a nice easy purchase and I am sure they were happy just to make a sale..I just went in and acted as if I had done this many times before...Jim

[jim]

Easy peezy! jim ps........enjoy the new boots!

[Jimnj3]

Thanks, Now just have to get my wife to accept 'em. And then wearing to work.. I did today but may not leave them on when the others arrive. But, the purchasing was easy..Jim

[tightlevisandhhboots]

I just go in wearing my tall heeled cowboyboots, and ask for what ever style they have that I like size 12, or I'll ask what else they have in the back in size 12. tightlevisandhhboots

[loveheel]

I just go in wearing my tall heeled cowboyboots, and ask for what ever style they have that I like size 12, or I'll ask what else they have in the back in size 12.

tightlevisandhhboots

This is a great strategy. Often asking sales people to make suggestions is a way to draw then out and engage them in conversation. You will also know right away whether they really want to sell you something or not.

[flipflop klipklop]

Just be honest with them and don't bother making up stories. You just creep them out more. If you're nervous, you make the clerk nervous. It may seem like everyone is watching you, but they aren't. Remember, they are shopping too and most are too busy to even notice you. A few people mentioned Payless Shoes. I've heard that they actually get the most men buying ladies shoes there. The clerks are all use to it, so most won't even flinch when you ask for a larger size. Remember they always have a US 10, 11, and 12 section open to everyone. Most men that are still shy, help themselves and just buy them. That's why the clerks are use to men buying womens shoes there.

[tightlevisandhhboots]

I know that is where I bought my first pair of hh shoes. And they are always very polite. tightlevisandhhboots

[Dawn HH]

Very interesting stories and some great advise for everyone. Around here the Payless shoe outlets do not carry anything in heels, just clunky flats and some of them are downright ugly. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[tightlevisandhhboots]

I do know what you mean, as I have to go by often and catch them when they are stocking the shelves to get the "Good" ones. The highest I have found and bought in size 12 were a pair of short boots, zip side, with a 4 inch chunky heel. tightlevisandhhboots

[Jimnj3]

Actually I just purchased a really nice pair of knee boots with a 3" stacked heel last Monday. It's a stretch top boot with a zipper and feels great in a size 12M. They had a few other boots on hand that I liked but one purchase at a time for now. Possibly we have a beeter selection of boots in our area since winter weather is just ahead. Jim

[Dawn HH]

Jimnj3:-) Your end of the state sounds like better pickings than my end. Maybe the clientile here don't buy their heels or heeled boots from Payless. The business not being there would be a good reason not to stock those items. I only check Payless ocassionly when in the vicinity of a store and have been disappointed so many times that a lot of times I just pass them by. There are lots of other places that I can get my shoes and boots and the pickings are much better. We also catalog shop a lot too.Cheers--- Dawn HH

[Aly]

Hey Dawn, Do you know that you can go to the Payless web site and order any shoe they show, and have it delivered free to your local store? That may be an option if you see something they carry that your local store doesn't stock. Aly

[Dawn HH]

Aly:-) Thanks. I will have to look into that in the near future. How do their sizes run---larger, smaller, or true to size? Cheers--- Dawn HH

[JeffB]

Jimnj3:-)

Your end of the state sounds like better pickings than my end. Maybe the clientile here don't buy their heels or heeled boots from Payless. The business not being there would be a good reason not to stock those items. I only check Payless ocassionly when in the vicinity of a store and have been disappointed so many times that a lot of times I just pass them by. There are lots of other places that I can get my shoes and boots and the pickings are much better. We also catalog shop a lot too.Cheers---

Dawn HH

Well, I haven't been in Payless for quite some time now since the selection of shoes in 13 is disappointingly limited. Since I've found more resources online (like Sexy Shoes), I just don't bother with Payless anymore.

[Jimnj3]

Actually the kneeboots I have now from Payless are a size 12M and I usually wear a womens size 13. I have a size 11-11.5 Us mens foot.These boots fit nicely which was a surprize. Don't know about the rest of the selections which would be a problem ordering online. Jim

[Aly]

Aly:-)

Thanks. I will have to look into that in the near future. How do their sizes run---larger, smaller, or true to size? Cheers---

Dawn HH

Well, if I recall, I wear a men's 10 or 10 1/2 and most of my boots from Payless are a women's 11 - they fit like a glove (not an OJ glove, though!). I have a pair of loafers that are size 11W and they are a bit large - my feet slide around in them. I also have several pairs of sandals in size 10, and my heel is right at the rear edge of them. I have found that the sizes are consistent across the various name brands they stock, so you could probably try on whatever styles they might have in the store to get an idea of the sizing, then either order what you want from their website, or ask the store to order for you.

I have one store locally here where the manager has offered to order any shoe they have if I ever find a style I like that is not in stock in my size. The nice thing about this particular store is their stock of size 11 fills about 8 feet of shelf space - they even display about 3 feet of shelf space for size 12!

Aly