Introduction

[Boots29]

First off, let me say how much it meant to find this site and know that I am not alone.  My story may be like many of yours.  I am just so glad to know I'm not alone.  Warning, this is a long post!!!

I just passed the mid century mark and have had this  "feeling" or "affliction" or whatever since I was very young.  My fascination with heels probably started when I was a pre-teen youth.  I remember trying on a pair of my mothers boots when I was maybe 8 to 10.  As a young teen, I was drawn to the sound of heels and seeing woman walking in boots.  My first experience with heels was as a college freshman when I bought my first pair from a Kmart store.   You may or may not know the apprehension and nervousness of that first "buy."  I remember rushing back to my car and trying on my new boots.  Now mind you, I wore a US men's size 10 1/2 and of course, all I could find was a women's size 10.  And being such a "newbe" I had no idea.  I pulled them on and tried to zip them up.  But my feet were bare and couldn't fit in them that well.  I tugged on the zipper and "bam" it broke! Imagine my consternation.  Holy crap!  I actually had the nerve to go back the next day and exchange them, saying my girlfriend tried them on and the zipper broke.  I don't know how, but I figured out I needed to wear stockings to get my feet in there better.  

For several years I wore those way too small boots, but enjoyed every chance!  I loved the sound of the heels when I walked in my basement on the concrete.  I hid them in a duffle bag, inside another bag in my closet.  To this day, I don't know if my mother ever found them.

Flash forward many years and I'm in my 20's, married, a home owner, and with a steady job.  My fascination is still there.  At this time I experiment with high heel shoes.  They are OK, but not great.  Of course, my wife knows nothing of this.  I think I have a pair for a while, then throw them out.  Then I buy another pair, then throw them out too.  For many years, I have nothing to do with heels.

Flash forward another decade and my desires have melded.  I am a "boot" man.  My wife also has some thigh high boots she wears on occasion.  I am in heaven when that happens!  I have a couple pairs I bought on line hidden away.  I only wear them late at night or when I'm alone.  I still can't believe I used to get them out and put them on when my wife and kids were sleeping upstairs.  I would crave just wearing them for a half hour or so.

Flash forward another decade.  I'm in my 40's.  I have some thigh high boots and another pair of knee high boots I love.  Of course, I hide them and only wear them maybe every other month or so.  We're going through some tough times and one night, we have a big argument.  She leaves and I expect her to be gone a LONG time.  I'm thinking, WTF, so I put on a pair of my boots.  Lo and behold, she comes home shortly and catches me. OMG.  You can imagine.  The questions "Are you gay?" ."Why?".yaddi, yaddi, yaddi.  Bad Ju Ju.  Almost costs me my marriage.  She's not going to tolerate it.  I spend several months sleeping in the guest room.  I throw them away.  She doesn't wear her boots for many years...

Several years pass but "It's" still there.  I can't shake this.  So I order some more boots.  Of course I keep them hidden and only wear them when I know I'm alone and no one is coming home.  I get bolder and order some more boots.  I love wearing them.  Why can't I do this all the time????  Any way, here I am.  I am a little more emboldened.  I now have five pairs of boots.  I wear my boots outside during the day.  Of course, my back yard is private and there's little chance of being seen.  I did drive down to our community mailbox the other night, walk out under the glare of the street light light and collect my mail while wearing my thigh-high boots over some skinny jeans.  What a feeling!!

OK, this is way too long.  Sorry.

[Cali]

Welcome to this site. That "heeling feeling" ain't going away.

[Tacchi Alti]

The first part was similar for me, but fortunately I raised the subject with my wife after a couple of years of marriage. She asked what I now know to be the inevitable question: 'Are you gay?' There were a few tears but she came to terms with it and even bought me a pair of shoes a few months later. Her acceptance has varied over the years, but she will be seen out with me in some heels - block heels or wedges - so long as they are not too feminine in look.

I think the main problem with most women is that they feel their femininity is being challenged, and it's a brand new experience. Heels are women's wear - right? So how dare a man encroach on that territory? The fact that women have been stealing from men's wardrobes for decades is irrelevant. That's their privilege but we aren't allowed to reciprocate. Does your wife wear jeans and sneakers? Does she borrow shirts or jumpers? They're men's clothes, so she's being hypocritical if she wears them. Do you banish her to the spare room for wearing them?

Double standards, unfortunately, but I think the tide is turning, even if very slowly.

[jeremy1986]

Welcome @Boots29! Great to have you. sorry for the roller coaster you have been experiencing... I wish you well. Sounds like there might be marriage issues, regardless of the heels, though I can imagine the heels issue might be a big hurdle for your wife. if its important to you (the heeling), and you wife is important - then maybe offer to talk about it, or go to therapy together and see if you can work through it. If only one is important to you - well, then ditch the other   

@Tacchi Alti - I totally agree with you that women think we are encroaching their territory. But I also think its related to being out of the "norm", and they might be concerned about what people think about you and as a result - of her. Lets say you wanted to wear skirts or...  a top hat (something not feminine!). sure, its "allowed" and there is no law against it, but your wife might think it very strange. We, on this forum, assume and expect that folks out there should accept our heeling. but lets just say it - that in many cases people will think it strange, and its very unfortunately in the cases where its hard for a spouse to accept this. 

[Tacchi Alti]

Jeremy - There's a lot of truth in what you say, and I also think there is a line between what people are happy to practise and agree to inside closed doors and what they do publicly. It's this attitude even to what is in private that annoys me, as it's not a question of potential public embarrassment to her (which I can understand and sympathise with) but absolute refusal to indulge her spouse in something that makes him happy simply because she perceives it as perverted, unmanly, etc. What about the 'to honour and obey' stuff?!!

[jeremy1986]

yeah - I totally agree with you on that Tacchi

[Bubba136]

If you have the inclination and the time to go back and search through our archives, the issues surrounding all aspects of this subject are well presented, analyzed and discussed.  There are years of knowledge posted along with some really good advice, answers and solutions.  As you might have figured out by now, every man desiring to wear women’s attire (shoes) is/are/has faced these challenges at some point - most of us having reached solutions that are satisfactory to our individual situations. As in all things,  no two cases are the same and If you are sincere in seeking a solution to wearing heels and sustaining a relationship with your wife and family, study our archives and try to find an answer that fits your needs.  This is vitally important for your own mental health as well as preservation of your relationship with your wife.  Keep in mind, this desire will never go away.  

Edited November 22, 2017 by Bubba136

[JeffB]

Welcome aboard! I hope you’ll enjoy HHP as it’s the people who make this forum a treat to interact with about our unique passion.

[pebblesf]

A familiar story indeed...I remember slipping into my sister's go go boots when I was just a kid also.  We are glad you are here and hope you find friendship and encouragement here.  Hope to see some pictures of your boots...Don

[mlroseplant]

10 hours ago, pebblesf said:

 Hope to see some pictures of your boots...Don

That seems rather unlikely after over two years, and a total of two posts.

[pebblesf]

1 hour ago, mlroseplant said:

That seems rather unlikely after over two years, and a total of two posts.

True, but he just rejoined us after being away, so just wanted to encourage him....

[mlroseplant]

9 hours ago, pebblesf said:

True, but he just rejoined us after being away, so just wanted to encourage him....

Ahh, that's right. Didn't catch that the first time.