Question

[Dutchbootman]

I have a bootfetish and have no problems with it. Have many boots, mine girlfriend is okay with it. But how you go on with the feeling growing stronger and stronger?

I want to wear them more and more, outside etc. But to scared to do it. 

Hope you can give some advice.

[Pierre1961]

Hello 

i have the same problem. For me not only boots but any high heel shoes. For the moment I wear these at home and in the hotel room when traveling. I have made some attempts outside at night in places with no one or where I was sure not to be recognized ( osaka Japan).I loved it  

now i really feel I miss something,walking in my flat shoes. A full day at home in 6 inches is paradise. 

I think it is impossible for me  to make that "coming out". I would be professionally dead! 

For the moment I can keep it like that but it's hard. 

I would say ,for you, it depends on you can afford to be considered as strange or worse by the people you know. The professional aspect is the  most difficult because there are too many people you can't explain. 

You cannot ruin many years of serious reputation  

if your job gives you the possibility,then do it   

The family will understand easier  

pierre 

 

[robbiehhw]

Whenever you have a particular thing, whatever it is that seems to be "taking over your life" in some way. A therapist is an invaluable resource to help sort it all out.

[jeremy1986]

I don't think its necessarily a matter of taking over ones life , but more of keep pushing the envelope further. Like, at the beginning, its enough to wear your wifes heels for a bit, then more, then you feel you need you own heels, then some more pairs, then possible even wear them outside, or expanding to other female garments. I can definitely understand this, as I think I experience this myself... I don't have an answer though...

[pebblesf]

The good news here is that your girlfriend likes you in boots!  So, I'm sure you would like to wear your boots more publicly, as we all do....There is nothing wrong with that and you should not be "worried".   Yes, it is not easy to take those first public booted steps, you should start slowly....Taking a drive in your boots...Going to fuel station at night in your boots with jeans covering them.  Your confidence will build slowly.  You are lucky to have your girl friend, it is always easier to get out publicly in boots when you have a heeled buddy/girl along.  Important things to remember is that you don't want to jump into 6" stiletto boots and hit the streets....You will be nervous, so you should start with lower heeled boots that will be easy to walk in.  You don't want to look uneasy or unsure of yourself, this will just draw attention, which you are not looking for.  Once you can walk publicly in lower heeled boots and forget you are wearing them (along with all the self consciousness), you can start getting a bit more bold with higher heels...

Talk it over with your girl friend, she can help you plan some low key booted outings, having her along will help bolster your confidence as well!  Trust me, I am not trying to minimize your concerns, we all have them sometimes.  But, the sooner you get started wearing the boots you love in safe public places, the better/more confident you will feel!  Post some pictures for us...Don

[Cali]

Pierre - Start out easy, low heels, limit time out. Movie,....

Remember if you project confidence your fine. It's only when you act nervous that you draw attention to yourself.

The first few steps are always the hardest. I started a new (additional) position this month and had to overcome the professional aspect of wearing heels at the new job.  I wore my Steven Madden Freebird boots the first few days there. Wearing open-toe wedges now.

I started to get my fingernails painted this summer. I had to over come my fears of professional repercussions since my hands are always on display at work.

The things is, each time we extend our limits we all have to fight our own fears.

Got luck and small steps

 

 

[pebblesf]

On ‎9‎/‎29‎/‎2017 at 3:29 AM, Cali said:

Pierre - Start out easy, low heels, limit time out. Movie,....

Remember if you project confidence your fine. It's only when you act nervous that you draw attention to yourself.

The first few steps are always the hardest. I started a new (additional) position this month and had to overcome the professional aspect of wearing heels at the new job.  I wore my Steven Madden Freebird boots the first few days there. Wearing open-toe wedges now.

I started to get my fingernails painted this summer. I had to over come my fears of professional repercussions since my hands are always on display at work.

The things is, each time we extend our limits we all have to fight our own fears.

Got luck and small steps

 

 

Well said, your slow and steady approach is the best and surely pays off!

[Histiletto]

The Idea of talking with your girlfriend about this is a good start. You might be able to find others, groups, or activities that would be accepting and embrace men wearing high heels in your area. Organize and put on a costume party or cross dressed scavenger dinner hunt with friends. Hope this helps!

Edited September 30, 2017 by Histiletto

[Dutchbootman]

Thanks,

I'am this weekend at mine girlfriends place, and start talk about it, that idea i had. Its not take over mine life, because she has no problems with it, the feeling is growing. In the begin its enough to wear heels inside. Then you take the next steps, in a few years, driving with them. Because i'am have different shifts, i could wear them outside sometimes. That was enough, but now i have sometimes the feeling is growing and want more. Mine family knows it, but the are simple, and understanding it. Your mine son, np with that you wear boots, but dont have to see it. Mine mother in law have np with it, could wear them if i want. But to scared to do it. 

Thought to buy some cowboy boots, but that would be the best option, if youre a man, and would wear boots. But the feeling, to wear them outside scared me. Even thought to go on line dancing with mine girlfriend, so could wear boots. Have the idea the hole world is looking at me.

[CAT]

Trust me a few will look 99 percent won't notice.  And for the most they could all care less.  5 years out in public and  3 or 4 bad comments.  But 100's of very positive comments and conversations. 

[jeremy1986]

1 hour ago, Dutchbootman said:

Thanks,

I'am this weekend at mine girlfriends place, and start talk about it, that idea i had. Its not take over mine life, because she has no problems with it, the feeling is growing. In the begin its enough to wear heels inside. Then you take the next steps, in a few years, driving with them. Because i'am have different shifts, i could wear them outside sometimes. That was enough, but now i have sometimes the feeling is growing and want more. Mine family knows it, but the are simple, and understanding it. Your mine son, np with that you wear boots, but dont have to see it. Mine mother in law have np with it, could wear them if i want. But to scared to do it. 

Thought to buy some cowboy boots, but that would be the best option, if youre a man, and would wear boots. But the feeling, to wear them outside scared me. Even thought to go on line dancing with mine girlfriend, so could wear boots. Have the idea the hole world is looking at me.

Its great that your whole family is OK with it. sounds like the green line to go ahead. do it slowly and you will be fine!

[pebblesf]

Trust me, we all understand your apprehension, but Cat is so right!  We are our own biggest critics, and fear the whole world will be watching.  Most folks are much to busy with their own lives/mission to notice our footwear.  For me, a guy's footwear is usually the first thing I notice, so I mistakenly assume the rest of the world does the same thing. 

I had a layover in mid town Manhattan on Friday evening.  I wore my black knee high 4.5" stiletto boots down to 42nd street, over to Broadway, and walked among the masses of tourists for at least an hour.  I really don't think anyone noticed/cared, certainly no one reacted either positively or negatively if they did notice.  Admittedly, my levis were over the boots, but the heels were clearly visible.  No one appeared to notice in the hotel elevator either, they did not react if they did notice. 

You have a few advantages that you should take advantage of, namely your girl friend and family, who are accepting and perhaps supportive.  My partner hates my love of high heel boots, and my mother will never know about it for sure....

Take advantage of the support, get those boots on and get started in limited public outings with your girl friend, you will feel liberated for sure buddy!

[Steve63130]

That first step is the most difficult. Start with low heels and build up as you get practice wearing heels inside. Don't risk stumbling because the heels are too high for you. They shouldn't hurt, ever. Once you master walking well, with grace and confidence, you can go outside. You'll find it's very different walking outside but take time to get used to it. Stay in busy places where people are not paying attention. Don't make the mistake of trying to stay in the shadows of a dark alley. That will draw even more suspicion.

Once the nervousness goes away, you will start having fun! Watch where you step! Good luck and report your adventures here.

Steve

[Pierre1961]

Steve,you are 100% right!!

[Cali]

18 hours ago, Steve63130 said:

Watch where you step!

Very important, especially outside! It's easy to step on something with 5 - 6 inch heels and have that throw your balance off.

Edited October 4, 2017 by Cali