Validation by 21 year old Hotgirl: There may be hope for us!

[mlroseplant]

Last night, after I got home from visiting my shoe buddy (mentioned and pictured in my ongoing personal thread/blog), I was contacted by a young woman we know who has just graduated from college this month. The reason we know her is because she is from the same city as my wife, Hanoi, Vietnam. Some 3 1/2 years ago, I received a telephone call from a friend who works at our local college, saying he had a freshman  in his office from Hanoi, and she seemed kind of lonely and homesick, and would we be interested in meeting her. Of course, we said yes, and we became mentors of a sort to this young lady. Oh, and did I mention, she's rather attractive, to put it mildly. 

At any rate, I got to chatting with her last night, and somehow the subject of my heel wearing came up. I thought about reproducing our chat here, but decided against it for the sake of her privacy. But basically, she said that her mom (whom I've met several times, both here and in Vietnam), was very surprised about my choice of footwear. Unfortunately, I didn't really get details of that conversation, but she did say very clearly that she thought my choice of footwear was really not all that strange to her, and that she had absolutely no problem with it. She even hinted that maybe I should try wearing a skirt! Just FYI, she herself favors extremely short skirts and shorts.

It can be a strange dynamic between a 49 year old guy and a 21 year old woman, so I didn't really say much, other than to thank her for accepting me the way I am. 

The only reason I am posting this is because it was a huge confidence booster, and I hope it can help others know that there ARE females out there who are open minded. Maybe there is hope. 

[Cali]

I'm around younger people all day and I find the younger woman are for the most part okay with my footwear; jealous sometimes because they can't wear what I normally wear - too tall.

[MackyHeels]

mroseplant: Happy you shared a great experience from such a amazing female. Inspiring and encouraging to hear such positive comments from a 21 year old college woman.

Not to be critic or take you off your cloud, but is there chance the college woman is indebted thus being polite of your befriending and mentoring?

Reading that the mom was surprised of your choice of style as you politely stated or the college gal mentioned to you mlroseplant. Looks to me the mom is like most people distressed seeing males outfit themselves as we do in feminine attire. It has to make the college graduate mindset ingrained similar thinking to the mom growing up with her family, of  our standards of acceptance with regards to male attire negatively. 

Is it wrong for me to assume your college age female has less of a robust social skills or lifestyle keeping to her studies thus limiting her interaction with others. What i'm getting at,  when young girls 18+ have limited friends often alone away from family, no guidance, as in your situation being the only mentor with your wife. These young women often bend to peer pressure with similar age young friends that what we on this forum wear is silly, laughable, inappropriate strange, weird. Basically learned behaviour from others the feminine style for men are deemed not correct or distressing only so they fit in with peer group mindset.  While it's not the case with said college woman you described she is grateful being befriended with your hospitality and learned your good person despite her mom's distress of your attire.   

As Cali put younger woman are okay with male dressed up uniquely one being they envy the clothes. Secondly they haven't determined what your wearing is suppose to be deemed wrong thus some guidance from others to push there beliefs one way or the other. Mlroseplant  bet the college graduate was warned by mom to watch out be careful to your chats or advice only because what you're wearing is suspect. After she graduated she now can determine you wearing what you do, does not mean your i bad person, or crazy as others may assume, only she found fondness and comfort of your welcoming her.  Thus she accepts who you are and what you wear making her better person not being prejudice as her mom. 

What surprised me not fully aware with your detailed conversation with your college graduate is her hint you may enjoy wearing skirt. Do understand the strange dynamic talking about clothes with females. Only in my situation i'm never alone, have other people eavesdropping of my reactions or responses, so i become  mute to said suggestions or comments  or further discussions of my clothes and preferences.   Do feel wishing to chat about my new outfits and preferences with like minded woman as you did in private. Again wouldn't know how to react or say being so delighted only because of the shock they accept my style and encouragement.  

Just yesterday out of the blue a 30 something cute pudgy female came up next to me, leaning closely complimenting my body and clothing. Telling me she observed me for long time as she held onto my shoulder, i'm inspiration to her, observing my various nice clothing envious wanting to look exactly like me, asking what's my secret diet, exercise.. She left quickly as she came not wanting to bother me further but i only could say thank you in slight shock, while others observed her and my response. 

Maybe just maybe the college graduate, mlroseplant is hinting that your attire can be better suited in something different what you really wearing. Often i see on males or females alike trying to hide or shy away with fashion sense or be modest in their attire, often ruining the appearance be it heels, shorts, skirts, pants etc.. Sometimes trying to dress-up but never wearing a dress fails or dulls the appearance of sharper style.  

 

Edited May 27, 2017 by MackyHeels

[mlroseplant]

1 hour ago, MackyHeels said:

mroseplant: Happy you shared a great experience from such a amazing female. Inspiring and encouraging to hear such positive comments from a 21 year old college woman.

Not to be critic or take you off your cloud, but is there chance the college woman is indebted thus being polite of your befriending and mentoring?

Is it wrong for me to assume your college age female has less of a robust social skills or lifestyle keeping to her studies thus limiting her interaction with others. What i'm getting at,  when young girls 18+ have limited friends often alone away from family, no guidance, as in your situation being the only mentor with your wife. These young women often bend to peer pressure with similar age young friends that what we on this forum wear is silly, laughable, inappropriate strange, weird. Basically learned behaviour from others the feminine style for men are deemed not correct or distressing only so they fit in with peer group mindset.  While it's not the case with said college woman you described she is grateful being befriended with your hospitality and learned your good person despite her mom's distress of your attire.  

 

Forgive me for saying so, MackyHeels, but it is apparent from this post and many past posts that for whatever reason, you have a basic distrust of women. At the very least, you have some sort of a chip on your shoulder. I'm not sure what experiences have shaped your attitude, but I'm sorry for that. My experiences have been much different. I find that women are much more understanding, much more accepting of me than are men.

Our newly graduated "niece" has way better social skills than me. She is a sorority girl, and is one of the most well known and popular girls on the college campus. She graduated magna cum laude, despite English not being her native tongue. She already has a job to go to after graduation. She's definitely not a wallflower. As far as her mother's surprised reaction, you have to remember that, although things are changing fast, with my generation and older (pushing 50), the social norms in Vietnam are much like they were in the 1950s here. The mom is not necessarily distressed, but she is surprised. I have my own previous reputation and rapport with her before she saw me this time. I'm sure my cháu (niece) has explained everything to her mother.

I am sorry that you have evidently had some bad experiences. I just haven't had those bad experiences, so I will take what the people I know and love at face value, without cynicism.

 

 

Edited May 27, 2017 by mlroseplant
grammar and clarity

[CAT]

I too have had great comments and short conversations with females of all ages.    

[MackyHeels]

Happy with your acceptance from fellow family member. Forgive me if i made you angry or planted seed of doubt. You're correct in saying taking there word of people you know or love at face value without cynicism. 

My distrust or cynicism of people are based in reality and experiences. Often i maybe hearing politically correct words from people but delving under deeper scrutiny and investigation i can see or hear through the phony polite facade. 

Some people just lie not to hurt feelings of others when cornered. Have cause to distrust so called "friends"  while in reality they bad mouth and criticize my attire as any hater-critic behind my back. Often the very things that are not meant to be heard in public are leaked, one way or another coming back opening my eyes that they are uncomfortable and prejudice towards the style worn.

Let's face it not everyone going to enjoy what we wear. Some who just smile nodding in agreement comforting us as someone who believes and understands our plight. Suppose it's good enough for few of us in some manner of acceptance and encouragement without undergoing scrutiny or cynical questions that open up the truth..

That is why i'm totally shocked and stunned when someone compliments me only later to find they did it for reason. Often the reason isn't as straightforward or  simplistic as it seems. 

Lot variation why some might be out spoken to us: 

One being let us not ignore the 2000 lbs elephant without speaking about it. 

Secondly loving the clothes, shoes but deep underlying feelings of whom is wearing it, distresses even angers females on many levels seeing a man so smartly outfitted. They maybe loving the clothes even envious but hating on whom is wearing it considering wrong. Censoring the fact not to upset you by pointing out items they only like but never saying it suits you or your perfectly dressed.  Sort of same analogy saying i love the colour of your automobile CIVIC Honda, but you decided to believe he or she is envious of my car, but later see them drive off in Mercedes Benz S class 63 AMG with 577 hp.

So by people saying something to us heel lover wearing males usually going to be positive even though they don't mean it in it's entirety  even if they deem it wrong to be outfitted.  Usually people ignore me because what i wear bothers them feeling uncomfortable thus not wanting to say something negative or upsetting. If you have nothing good to say don't say anything, because if you keep talking the truth comes out sooner or later. 

Had many instances of married couple knowing me a little while the wife is polite smiling saying hello. The married guy does most of the talking but the woman says very little. Once overheard the female asking the husband she wants to hurry up leave  so she can avoid me at another location which we all will run into together again much later only because how i'm outfitted makes her uncomfortable, uneasy. Only reaction is husband laughs at her request although complies yet i know she tries avoiding me as much as she can. Yet i never say a word knowing the couples wife hates me or very least my attire and can't stand being in the same surroundings.

Always want to laugh or ask  as i know the wife hates my outfits but stands waiting by listening to us guys chat, seeing the smirking subtle  expression on the guys face towards his wife. All a while the wife looks me over as if her skin crawls, scanning me head to toe, glaring bulging eyes upon my shoes or items i'm wearing. Do know the answer i would get from the husband or his wife, don't hate you but your choices of style you wear has lot to be desired for her senses. 

Best advice is don't believe the hype. Positive i don't look as bad as others believe, or great as some make me believe i do. Just believe in myself what i wear  makes me feel happier dispute the ups or downs.

 

 

Edited May 28, 2017 by MackyHeels

[pebblesf]

I'm happy you had a nice experience, I am always looking for positive comments, kind of a self centered way of bolstering my weak confidence for sure!  My failing seems to be that the few times I have gotten positive input, I was too caught off guard to give much more of a reply than "thankyou"...  Sure hope I can be more engaging with others in the future....

[Thighbootguy]

1 hour ago, MackyHeels said:

Censoring the fact not to upset you by pointing out items they only like but never saying it suits you or your perfectly dressed.  Sort of same analogy saying i love the colour of your automobile CIVIC Honda, but you decided to believe he or she is envious of my car, but later see them drive off in Mercedes Benz S class 63 AMG with 577 hp.

But you know, she may have really liked the color of your Honda CIVIC.

[mlroseplant]

Thank you for all the replies, and especially for your thoughts @MackyHeels. Once again, I hope your experiences and level of acceptance will continue to improve as time goes on.

So here is a picture of me and the young lady in question, at her graduation dinner with her parents and about 40 other people. In this photo, she is wearing heels and I am not, which is a reverse of the usual situation. My wife requested that I wear flats for this occasion, so I of course complied.

Unfortunately, as far as heel wearing, our cultural norms have been a bad influence. When she first came to the U.S., at age 18, she wore heels all the time, like many Vietnamese women do in Vietnam. Not super high ones, but always something with some sort of heel. Now, the heels only come out for very special occasions! Oh well, what are you going to do? At least we feel comfortable teasing each other about our preferences.

[Histiletto]

Hey mlroseplant,

Apparently, the relationship of your family and the lovely young lady have been beneficial for all concerned. Hope she finds a good job worthy of her skills where ever she decides to live. The issue of whose wearing the heels is interesting, but understanding the good happening because of this relationship fills my heart with gratitude and joy. Thanks for sharing!

It seems as though many of the kids in the school systems (K-12 or the equivalent age) for the past 10 years are more open to a world of change or to changing the world. I suppose having easier access to worldwide communication has aided this perspective. Maybe these types of connections should be promoted, so that some of the biases, misunderstandings and propagandas are debunked or at least being offered better alternatives to establish what the truth is. There is no doubt the impact of the Radio-Free Europe broadcasts helped in making available the more correct understanding concerning the world's situation to the population in the western satellite countries under the military control of the USSR. Also many of the Iranian people who had access to their personal computers after the Iranian mass kidnapping of U.S. citizens had ended, were able to communicate their feelings and concerns about what happened, which tended to somewhat reshape the relationships between the Iranian people and the rest of the world. When this communication was stifled, these people were led to believe non-Moslems were the enemies out to destroy their religion and way of life. Right now, the majority of the population of North Korea have little to base their understanding of the rest of the world, because they have been so isolated, suppressed, and enslaved that in order to survive they are willing to reveal any behaviors of their team mates (who could be relatives) that seem subversive to gain favor and privileges. This is the real tragedy that exist because of the North Korean dictatorship, although the threat to humanity in using nuclear weapons to get what Kim Jong Un wants, also ranks up there on this tragic scale.

[hernaezjames]

On 5/28/2017 at 8:33 PM, mlroseplant said:

Thank you for all the replies, and especially for your thoughts @MackyHeels. Once again, I hope your experiences and level of acceptance will continue to improve as time goes on.

So here is a picture of me and the young lady in question, at her graduation dinner with her parents and about 40 other people. In this photo, she is wearing heels and I am not, which is a reverse of the usual situation. My wife requested that I wear flats for this occasion, so I of course complied.

Unfortunately, as far as heel wearing, our cultural norms have been a bad influence. When she first came to the U.S., at age 18, she wore heels all the time, like many Vietnamese women do in Vietnam. Not super high ones, but always something with some sort of heel. Now, the heels only come out for very special occasions! Oh well, what are you going to do? At least we feel comfortable teasing each other about our preferences.

Oh my, im inlove. She is really lovely. I like her.