High heel jones

[bambam]

I gotta ask, does anybody know of a less conspicuous way to get my high heels fix? I just don't want to have to work up a ton of courage every time I wanna wear heels out somewhere, it's a little draining, and I don't want to see coworkers or anything right now,, I'm not ready.

[Thighbootguy]

1 hour ago, bambam said:

I just don't want to have to work up a ton of courage every time I wanna wear heels out somewhere, it's a little draining

It isn't just a matter of courage.  First, you have to really like the image you are presenting in heels (full length mirror test).  If you don't think that image really looks good then you shouldn't go out in heels.  Second, once you like your look then the courage to present that image comes into play.  You can be selective about where you present your heeled image so you avoid co-workers, most of us do that.  You adked is there a less conspicuous way to wear heels... probably not.  People will notice you are wearing heels.  The issue is how do they react.  If you present your image with confidence and people read you as "Yep I'm wearing my heels...look good don't they", they will respect your decision.  However, if they read you as "I'm embarrassed to be myself wearing heels... don't look", you will get comments.

As far as working up a ton of courage... The first time out takes a ton of courage.  The second time only takes 1,000 pounds and the third time only 500 pounds.  Soon wearing heels can be second nature, they will be just another part of your outfit.  The first time it took me a while to get out of my car wearing thigh boots with 5" stiletto heels.  The second time wasn't anywhere near as bad.  However, I didn't get any negative feedback early on wearing my boots in public.  The first negative comment I remember was a long time after I was wearing boots when a guy complained that I was wearing a skirt (not that it looked bad, just that I was wearing one).

Enjoy your heels.

[Jkrenzer]

Agreed, just do it. You'll be scared at first and before you know it your not even caring anymore. Of course us older guys stop caring in general about others opinions so we have a leg, er heel, up.

Edited October 28, 2016 by Jkrenzer

[CAT]

6 hours ago, Thighbootguy said:

It isn't just a matter of courage.  First, you have to really like the image you are presenting in heels (full length mirror test).  If you don't think that image really looks good then you shouldn't go out in heels.  Second, once you like your look then the courage to present that image comes into play.  You can be selective about where you present your heeled image so you avoid co-workers, most of us do that.  You adked is there a less conspicuous way to wear heels... probably not.  People will notice you are wearing heels.  The issue is how do they react.  If you present your image with confidence and people read you as "Yep I'm wearing my heels...look good don't they", they will respect your decision.  However, if they read you as "I'm embarrassed to be myself wearing heels... don't look", you will get comments.

As far as working up a ton of courage... The first time out takes a ton of courage.  The second time only takes 1,000 pounds and the third time only 500 pounds.  Soon wearing heels can be second nature, they will be just another part of your outfit.  The first time it took me a while to get out of my car wearing thigh boots with 5" stiletto heels.  The second time wasn't anywhere near as bad.  However, I didn't get any negative feedback early on wearing my boots in public.  The first negative comment I remember was a long time after I was wearing boots when a guy complained that I was wearing a skirt (not that it looked bad, just that I was wearing one).

Enjoy your heels.

I have written to others the exact same thing. 1st time I got a WTF right out of the gate.   I was flipping out.   After that I thought the same you. Today I really don't care.  Showing confidence has a big part of your presence and nothing but positive compliments from girls and some guys.  Simple ones like those are awesome shoes or boots to hello sexy.,,, you look fantastic!!   Enjoy it sooner then later. I wish I would have started earlier. 

[bambam]

Yes, I think part of the problem is that I'm 25, so I'm still dating and going out regularly. Most of the women I date just don't like it. 

[MackyHeels]

On 29/10/2016 at 6:23 AM, bambam said:

Yes, I think part of the problem is that I'm 25, so I'm still dating and going out regularly. Most of the women I date just don't like it. 

Ask yourself this question? If you're dating someone wearing what is expected of you would you be happy? 

Sooner than later your feelings wearing what you desire surpass those people you want to please or fit in. 

Expect to be a loner for some time, that is if your personality is quite. Wearing what you feel often alienates others towards you. Taking into account my experiences. Females often see how I dress and  reject me with at most prejudice or less friendly not saying hello.

I look at it like this. If i was to wear trendy traditional masculine clothing would specific type females i'm attracted to like me. Found from experience woman that i find attractive are repulsed or find me not their type rejecting me with bias for various reasons. No matter how fit i look, or attractive i'm, females have preconceived ideology of their perfect man attributes are. So why should i try to make fake impressions on woman i'm in love with, instead of being myself, enjoying what i like to wear. 

Don't try to fool yourself like a lot a males believe, that they may encounter a hot superficial fit female and ride into the sunset together. Almost always i see fit good looking female partnered with male unlike me taller, stockier, younger, caring less of their appearance being less bold. 

Word of advice never ask or discuss your fondness for heels. Woman pick-up on your intrigue tossing it out in general conversation which they will begin analyzing your personality. If they find out you're interested in heels they may put you in a box with a bias wrong label such as "gay" thus never wanting to do with you again.

Or worst yet as some females do to me, begin to label wrongly, as a "gay" and gossip to newbie friendly naive females of mine to forget about him. Females assumption as wrong label they are begin to gossip, straight guy wouldn't wear that, etc... Suppose it's one way for my haters that are jealous or envious of my style to stick it to me through rumours and bias prejudicial conclusions frightening off cute friendly females.

 

My only recourse is to look after myself best way i can minding my business. Wear the best clothes that i can find, that woman would be envious of. Often than not whatever perceived beliefs females have of me giggling, laughing, smirking, nodding of heads with disapproval, commenting to others, why is he wearing that...? Once females take a closer view of me, then basic instincts come out admiration or intrigue of what i become so bold. Sometimes astonishment and complimentary words are made to me. Regarding my attire from observed pity nobody respecting me in it, or that i have the self confidence to wear it as themselves as women do not.  

Example of a female that finds me not her type typically, even told her before she did to me both agreeing on something. Although she did say for whatever reason after telling her, she looked hot, that she dated a stripper before. What's that suppose to mean?

Edited November 4, 2016 by Tech
Indecent images.

[Thighbootguy]

3 hours ago, bambam said:

Yes, I think part of the problem is that I'm 25, so I'm still dating and going out regularly. Most of the women I date just don't like it. 

First congratulations on the "regularly" part but how do you know that "Most of the women I date just don't like it" unless you have been wearing heels on your dates? 

If your wearing heels is just coming up as a topic of conversation, I could see where suggesting something that "different" might a negative response, especially if it was stated in a negative way like, "I sometimes like to wear high heels", as opposed to, "I normally wear high heels".  but a better approach might be just wearing a pair and not saying a word about it.  If/when asked reply with confidence, "Yeah, their my shoes, I normally wear them."  However, it is worth noting it might not be a good idea to wear heels higher than hers.  I'm not suggesting showing up in 5" stiletto pumps, rather a much more conservative shoe or better yet (in my opinion) a pair of low heeled boots.  Just remember you have to pass the full length mirror test first, and you have to present a confident image that says, "These are my shoes/boots".

On the other hand, don't let advice provided here at hhplace push you into doing something you really don't want to do.  If you keep heeling and dating as separate experiences, that's fine.  If you mix them, I suggest starting conservatively.

At 25 you may not appreciate how short life is and that you only get one go at it.  Use your time well and enjoy it.

[KneeBooted]

11 hours ago, bambam said:

Yes, I think part of the problem is that I'm 25, so I'm still dating and going out regularly. Most of the women I date just don't like it. 

@bambam, can I just say that when dating in my 20's, there were times I had the same problems you encounter. I knew around the time I was 16 that I loved heels, mainly boots, and wouldn't lose that interest.

During my dating years, there were a number of girls I dated who didn't like the idea of a guy into wearing heels.

On the flip side, there were a few who not only were ok with it, they even bought me boots! I still have some of those to this day!

But here is the thing. There was a girl I had known since high school who absolutely loved wearing heels and boots. We dated once in high school and it didn't work out. We remained good friends and had the same group of friends. Well finally, as if predicted, later in my 20's, it became apparent we were attracted to one another yet again.

I ask her out, we start dating and are the couple everyone envied. One problem, she wasn't into my heeling and didn't like the idea of it. Sadly, we ended things because I didn't think it was a change I could make for her.

So right there it sounds like it doesn't work out... But here is where it gets awesome!

I end up in a few year relationship with a woman who tries to change me and says all the stuff like my heeling is a deep seeded issue from my childhood. Needless to say that it ends badly, I lost a decent chunk of money, time, etc.

So, I try and get back out there doing things and getting my life back. I start playing poker again with a group of people I knew years ago. Turns out I meet a woman there who is a coworker of a friend. Three plus years and one marriage later, she loves me for exactly who I am and helps support it. She loves shopping with me because she knows I am a guy who actually enjoys it, and I love her because she gives me input on what looks good on me, etc.

The point is, life has ups and downs, and quite often, when you least expect it, you'll find the one who accepts you for you and encourages you to be yourself.

Hold your head high and heel away. You might be surprised with what you find along the way.

[Thighbootguy]

24 minutes ago, KneeBooted said:

Hold your head high and heel away. You might be surprised with what you find along the way.

Experience is a voice worth listening to.   Who knows what you might find.

[CAT]

KneeBooted,,,,. Very well said and I ended up where you are with a girls that supports my heeling. We shop together heels together.   It's awesome !!!!!  Totally worth the wait.  

[Thighbootguy]

@MackyHeels -  Those pictures weren't there when I made my post.  This is a family friendly site. I reported the post.

[pebblesf]

Bam Bam

I sure understand your dilemma buddy...I just wish I had the wisdom I have today, back when I was 25.  I have always been interested in boots, every since I was a young kid.  I never really understood what it was all about, but sadly developed some shame about it during my young years that caused me to waste many years sentencing myself to self loathing and secrecy.  Society has imposed a negative image of males who like to wear heels.  I'm hoping that after spending some time on this site you will see that guys who like to wear heels come is many different varieties, shapes, sizes.  There are many guys here that are very masculine in all the conventional ways, and they enjoy wearing heels as well. 

In fact, I have always felt that it takes a very confident guy, who is comfortable with his sexuality, to be able to wear the heels he enjoys publicly. 

To me, it seems like you are at the beginning of this journey, so have many things to work out and get comfortable with.  I am fortunate, because I work for the airlines, so am away frequently, allowing me to wear my boots publicly in the hotel without worrying about running into someone I know.  I agree with you about not wanting to disclose your interest in heels with women on dates just yet.  And trust me, I understand that you don't have the luxury of wearing your heels publicly, and you surely should not wear them in the work place or when out with coworkers.  At least, not yet.  So, I am assuming you live alone, and your heeling is confined to inside your home. 

Everyone here offers sound advice, the only thing I would add is to start this journey very slowly.  We all want to hit the streets in the 5" stilettos we love to wear.  Unfortunately, for most of us, this is unrealistic and usually leads to a negative experience along with an emotional set back...So, how about starting out going public in a low pair of heels, or block heeled boots that aren't so obvious.  Starting slowly helps build emotional confidence along with heeling proficiency.  Wear your entry level heels out to the gas station at night, or perhaps for a trip to the convenience store.  Once you are wearing low heeled shoes/boots without giving it a second thought, you can start moving up to higher heels.  Depending on your shoe size, local thrift stores can be a great place to find "starter heels/boots".    Trust me, my mother was right, we are oftentimes "our own worst enemy", convinced that all eyes are locked on our foot wear.  The more we concentrate on this, the more nervous we become, the more likely we are to stumble or stand out.  Most folks are way too busy to notice what kind of shoes we are wearing, for the most part anyway. 

It also helps to meet up with like minded people, confidence in numbers I guess.  The occasional stare, or negative comments, are much easier to brush off when with a buddy, either male or female. 

Good luck with your journey, we look forward to hearing about your adventures, even if it is just to the gas station at night....