Guest Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 I have been wearing heels to work, 3in+, for over 2 yrs now and someone finally Asked. This guy, D, had said something in the past, nothing bad, but it shocked me And I changed the subject. We were walking to the car to go to lunch when he looked down. I new it was coming. He said, "are those heels?" I said yes and wse kept walking. So at lunch I asked him What he thought of my shoe problem. He said is it a problem? He said it looks gay, but He did not say it in a bad way. I asked what others say. He said they just say "he has on His heels again". He seemed to really not want to talk about it. He is a good guy and as far as the conversation is was fine. I think I am at a point Were I want/need to talk to others about it as far as this is what I wear. Oh, I think when I said yes to the heels he aked why. I said that's what I like. I am glad it came up and as I told him, I can't believe the others have not said anything. You have to understand who I work with. Its like working with 10yr olds as far as Calling each other gay, among other things. So I had to tell him this story. Me and the other guys were coming out of a restaurant when J started picking on my Metal wallet. Of course calling it gay. I told D I wanted to look down at my feet and tell J "with these on the best you can do is my wallet?". We had a good laugh. In all it went well and I am glad it came up.
Steve63130 Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 It's often a delicate subject, especially when it involves people you have to work with. If they behave immaturely, it can be even more challenging. But it sounds like you handled it well. The more you wear the easier it becomes. You develop confidence in yourself and the embarrassment factor diminishes. Being honest and saying, "Because that's what I like," is a great response. Thanks for sharing your story, and best of success in continuing to educate those 10 year olds! Steve
Shafted Posted February 19, 2013 Posted February 19, 2013 Well done. Shafted, the boots that is! View my gallery here http://www.hhplace.o...afteds-gallery/ or view my heeling thread here http://www.hhplace.org/topic/3850-new-pair-of-boots-starts-me-serious-street-heeling/ - Pm me if you want fashion advice or just need someone to talk to.
HappyinHeels Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 HEELS2U, That was deftly handled indeed. I think there's something very simplistic and transparent about the reply "because it's what I like." This essentially strips the other person of their defenses and the conversation either ends in a neutral acknowledgement of your choice or may even end in a positive reply such as "I think that's cool." Only a sliver of a fraction of people will attempt to pick a fight after this for the simple reason they are probably too scatterbrained to realize what possible point they could be making by criticizing your fashion choices. The vast majority of the countries where we all live are guided by the rights of the individual and fashion is an unregulated part of that so that's why you rarely see two people dressed EXACTLY the same way. Challenging individual rights and freedoms is never a wise move for the faint-hearted or misinformed. Your answer to him was largely the result of that common denominator we have spoken of often here: CONFIDENCE. Ignorance is no match for it. Stay true and stay elevated! HappyinHeels
ilikekicks Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 A heckler of sorts once told me " Why do you wear those shoes! They are for women! Only women wear those things! ". Theres a couple of things we all obviously know. As HappiInHeels states, its a fashion choice. As Steve stated, there are some immature people out there. For myself, I broke the comment down and rattled the guy. " Only women wear those things! ". Hmm.. Im heterosexual and have a wife. I asked him ' If only women wear these things, why are they on MY feet and not my wifes? '. He replied that was his question or something else then I rephrased stating ' look, we both know Im male, if only women wear these things, does that physically, intellectually or in any other substance make my gender changed because of a pair of shoes? ' " NO! " . ' They why the hell did you make a false insinuation saying only women wear these things? '. He didnt know what to do or say. REPEATEDLY ARGUMENTATIVE, INSULTING AND RUDE. BANNED FOR LIFE.
Stilletto2004 Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 I like to say, "Life is short, high heels aren't." Mike
Guest Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 The conversation did not come across in a bad way at all. In fact, I can't believe it has taken this long because I know they all know what I wear. You also have to understand the guys I work with. If there is a sign of blood, they/we go for the jugular. Put it this way. Our secretary is about to retire. We call her "2 date" because she said she gave it up on her second date with her current husband. Its done in fun and yea, sometimes people get fired up, but we all get along in the end. I have really considered just confronting them about it just to get it out in the open. Now not everyone in the building knows, at least I think. These guys I work closely with so I see them more than others. There are still times I avoid situations or people. Like if certain people are out in the hall I may or may not go out there. Its kinda like I pick who I want to know if they notice or I am ok with them knowing. There are one or two here that I don't care for and they don't get the privalage of knowing. Its all part of the process of being who I want to be. I hope this helps others and believe me, it has taken a long time to get to this point. A lot of it is confidence and a lot is frustration of hiding it and wanting to wear want I want. Its almost like getting madd to the point of not caring.
fatfuzz Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 A heckler of sorts once told me " Why do you wear those shoes! They are for women! Only women wear those things! ". Theres a couple of things we all obviously know. As HappiInHeels states, its a fashion choice. As Steve stated, there are some immature people out there. For myself, I broke the comment down and rattled the guy. " Only women wear those things! ". Hmm.. Im heterosexual and have a wife. I asked him ' If only women wear these things, why are they on MY feet and not my wifes? '. He replied that was his question or something else then I rephrased stating ' look, we both know Im male, if only women wear these things, does that physically, intellectually or in any other substance make my gender changed because of a pair of shoes? ' " NO! " . ' They why the hell did you make a false insinuation saying only women wear these things? '. He didnt know what to do or say.Grrrrrreat response ILK! I've often thought I would use a similar line when posed with the same question.... but I've not been out publicly yet.... I have been wearing heels to work, 3in+, for over 2 yrs now and someone finally Asked. This guy, D, had said something in the past, nothing bad, but it shocked me And I changed the subject. We were walking to the car to go to lunch when he looked down. I new it was coming. He said, "are those heels?" I said yes and wse kept walking. So at lunch I asked him What he thought of my shoe problem. He said is it a problem? He said it looks gay, but He did not say it in a bad way. I asked what others say. He said they just say "he has on His heels again". He seemed to really not want to talk about it. He is a good guy and as far as the conversation is was fine. I think I am at a point Were I want/need to talk to others about it as far as this is what I wear. Oh, I think when I said yes to the heels he aked why. I said that's what I like. I am glad it came up and as I told him, I can't believe the others have not said anything. You have to understand who I work with. Its like working with 10yr olds as far as Calling each other gay, among other things. So I had to tell him this story. Me and the other guys were coming out of a restaurant when J started picking on my Metal wallet. Of course calling it gay. I told D I wanted to look down at my feet and tell J "with these on the best you can do is my wallet?". We had a good laugh. In all it went well and I am glad it came up.Nice one - glad it was all OK. "That's what I like" is definitely the correct response because it is true! It's annoying that some people feel the need to put us in the gay camp. It seems that most heeling fellas are not gay. There's nothing wrong with being gay or wearing heels - I wish these people would just let it go. I only know a few gay guys but I've met loads throughout my life and I've not met one who wears heels on a regular basis - even those who do the whole drag thing don't wear them for a shopping trip, do they? That's just my experience. Anyone else?
Curt Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 If anyone asks you why you wear heels, use the Devil wears prada line on them. Please bore someone else with your questions! They will get furious. I've used that line on my mother. My dad freaked out on me!
Guest Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 Nah, I don't care to make anyone mad. I think its better to be casual about it like Someone asking where did you get your car.
Steve63130 Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 We see the gay question come up often in the pantyhose business. Stiletto2004, wise man that he is, told me once: Conversation: "I notice you're wearing pantyhose. Are you gay?" Response: "No, I'm not gay. But I have a friend who is gay, and he has a shirt just like the one you're wearing...." Substitute high heels for pantyhose and you get the picture. Steve
Stilletto2004 Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 Ha! Yeah I remember that like it was yesterday. Was at a bar. The guy ended up buying me a beer! Mike
Rick24 Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 if I was wearing my heels in public and someone asked me about them I would freak out because this person could make fun of me.
PatsyCline Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 Humour is a great way to diffuse a bad situation. It's such a stupid thing to get offended by. If the guy is wearing jeans most of the shoe is covered anyway. What's a person going to do, start thinking every guy they walk by could be wearing lingerie under their suit? It may be a bit odd at first, but as soon as more guys do it, then it won't be an issue. When Christian Louboutin.starts making heels in size 44 & up, you'll know you have arrived. Or maybe he comes out with a "Guys in Heels" collection. Why should women be the only ones silly enough to pay $1000+ for a pair of his shoes? "Porsche...There is no Substitute"
DebbiNC Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 Humour is a great way to diffuse a bad situation. It's such a stupid thing to get offended by. If the guy is wearing jeans most of the shoe is covered anyway. What's a person going to do, start thinking every guy they walk by could be wearing lingerie under their suit? It may be a bit odd at first, but as soon as more guys do it, then it won't be an issue. When Christian Louboutin.starts making heels in size 44 & up, you'll know you have arrived. Or maybe he comes out with a "Guys in Heels" collection. Why should women be the only ones silly enough to pay $1000+ for a pair of his shoes? Patsy, my thoughts exactly!!!! As I have said before, perhaps in another thread, if I was required to wear what men wear on a daily basis, I'd go nuts. No sense of self, no sense of expression just the same ol' same ol'. Plus, if I want to grab DH's shirt and wear it, it's OK. But if he decides to wear something of mine (if it would fit) then something is wrong with him. It's just plain silly! Guys, if wearing heels makes you feel good....just do it! (I think someone alrerady owns the rights to that phrase.) Will I perhaps do a double take if I see you in the grocery store? Probably. Will I think less of you? Absolutely not. Life at its longest is painfully short...we should find a way to accept each other as human beings...and quit worrying about the small stuff...and it's all small stuff. Have a great weekend everyone! It's about Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of New Shoes!
JeffB Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 It's annoying that some people feel the need to put us in the gay camp. It seems that most heeling fellas are not gay. There's nothing wrong with being gay or wearing heels - I wish these people would just let it go. I only know a few gay guys but I've met loads throughout my life and I've not met one who wears heels on a regular basis - even those who do the whole drag thing don't wear them for a shopping trip, do they? That's just my experience. Anyone else? The reason the public puts heel wearing men into the so-called "gay" camp is mainly because they don't know any better and aren't aware that their assumption is completely wrong. This a woefully long and inaccurate stereotype that, for the most part is ingrained in the minds of the public and is hard to eliminate, despite evidence to the contrary. Meanwhile, I must be doing something right when I'm out on my freestyling adventures, or perhaps I'm just too tall and imposing in heels and a skirt and people avoid approaching me to ask silly questions about how my attire is associated with my sexual orientation. I don't want to LOOK like a woman, I just want to DRESS like a woman!
ilikekicks Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 Humour is a great way to diffuse a bad situation. It's such a stupid thing to get offended by. What's a person going to do, start thinking every guy they walk by could be wearing lingerie under their suit? Do you have a hidden camera at my house or something? REPEATEDLY ARGUMENTATIVE, INSULTING AND RUDE. BANNED FOR LIFE.
Steve63130 Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 Will I perhaps do a double take if I see you in the grocery store? Probably. Will I think less of you? Absolutely not. Where do you shop and what time shall we meet? BWAHAHAHAHA! Steve
DebbiNC Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 Where do you shop and what time shall we meet? BWAHAHAHAHA! Steve Steve, you're a hoot! May the person wearing the sexiest heels get to the head of the check-out line! It's about Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of New Shoes!
beepy Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 Another case of the double standard. Link here Probably would have had the same problem if he just showed up instead but still no excuse to attach a female or male label to the clothes. As many stated, they are just clothes.
JeffB Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 Steve, you're a hoot! May the person wearing the sexiest heels get to the head of the check-out line! Oh, you crazy kids! I don't want to LOOK like a woman, I just want to DRESS like a woman!
SleekHeels Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 Patsy, my thoughts exactly!!!! As I have said before, perhaps in another thread, if I was required to wear what men wear on a daily basis, I'd go nuts. No sense of self, no sense of expression just the same ol' same ol'. Plus, if I want to grab DH's shirt and wear it, it's OK. But if he decides to wear something of mine (if it would fit) then something is wrong with him. It's just plain silly! Guys, if wearing heels makes you feel good....just do it! (I think someone alrerady owns the rights to that phrase.) Will I perhaps do a double take if I see you in the grocery store? Probably. Will I think less of you? Absolutely not. Life at its longest is painfully short...we should find a way to accept each other as human beings...and quit worrying about the small stuff...and it's all small stuff. Have a great weekend everyone! Thanks for saying that Debbi... some people aren't even brave enough to think that, let alone say it, and it's great to hear. On the rare occasions when a woman asks why I'm wearing heels, one of my favourite responses is "Well, can you imagine if you had to spend your whole life only wearing shoes from the men's department?" If you like it, wear it.
PatsyCline Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 Life is too short not to be what you are. You can spend your life trying to fit into what someone or society feels you should, and you will be miserable your entire life. Who you are isn't harming anyone else, or interfering in their life at all. As soon as society doesn't embrace change, we all end up being exactly the same, and society will cease to move forward, and will die. "Porsche...There is no Substitute"
Curt Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 Thanks for saying that Debbi... some people aren't even brave enough to think that, let alone say it, and it's great to hear. On the rare occasions when a woman asks why I'm wearing heels, one of my favourite responses is "Well, can you imagine if you had to spend your whole life only wearing shoes from the men's department?" Thanks for saying that Debbi... some people aren't even brave enough to think that, let alone say it, and it's great to hear. On the rare occasions when a woman asks why I'm wearing heels, one of my favourite responses is "Well, can you imagine if you had to spend your whole life only wearing shoes from the men's department?" that's a great response! I couldn't imagine wearing boring, shapeless clothes the rest of my life. Womens shoes and clothes fit my body perfectly!
Steve63130 Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 Sleekheels, that is indeed a great response. I will have to file it away and remember it next time anyone asks. However, with my write-only memory, it's doubtful that I'll recall it the moment I need it... Steve
Guest Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 You have to expect people to do a double take. I had one today in pumps.
rlamb Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 I don't wear my heels in.public much as I am often scared someone would say something and I wouldn't know what to do or what to say but reading posts on this forum makes me want to just slip on my heels and go out.... who cares what anyone says...easier in theory than practise I guess. I know what to say if someone says wearing heels looks and is gay anyway....
mtnsofheels Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 Well this is interesting timing and of course a good conversation. I was rereading the thread and saw Pasty Cline's comment. Check this link to the Christian Louboutin's website. http://us.christianlouboutin.com/ca_en/shop/men/aoussam-calf.html Humour is a great way to diffuse a bad situation. It's such a stupid thing to get offended by. If the guy is wearing jeans most of the shoe is covered anyway. What's a person going to do, start thinking every guy they walk by could be wearing lingerie under their suit? It may be a bit odd at first, but as soon as more guys do it, then it won't be an issue. When Christian Louboutin.starts making heels in size 44 & up, you'll know you have arrived. Or maybe he comes out with a "Guys in Heels" collection. Why should women be the only ones silly enough to pay $1000+ for a pair of his shoes? He appears to have done just that, personally I still the Pigalle Botta 120mm or the Daf Booty 160mm. On the Louboutin website the new spring selection is out too, I did a search for boots and found the mens boots. Still a wee bit of coin for the boots.... Mtnsofheels
Guest Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 Had another good encounter yesterday. I was in dillards when this lady, I think she was in her 60's but due to all the tanning, she looked 100. She was also wearing leopard leggings or tights and an open toe gold mule, kinda like the old lady in the movie some about marry. She asked if I was shopping for my wife. I said no and lifted my pants to show the hi heeled boots I had on. She was a bit surprised. She asked if I was trying them on. I said no, they are mine. As I was leaving I walked past her. She asked if I bought anything. I said no, just looking. We proceeded to talk some more so I sat down next to her and showed her my boots again. I asked her what she thought. She said she does not care, she has friends that are gay. I said I was not gay and that I am married. That shocked her more than anything. It was a good conversation and I wish it could have gone on longer. There was a guy sitting a few chairs over. I don't know if she told him about me but I did see them talking earlier. He kind of was interested in the conversation and even though I was not talking to him, I did not car. Just had another interesting "momment". I was walking into the restroom where I am, wearing the same boots as yesterday, when this lady was coming out of the womans resttroom. I have seen this past week wearing very hi boots. Again, she had on a skirt with hose and hi boots with some fur around the top. I said very nice boots. She said thanks as she was looking down. Then she said I could borrow them later. Not sure if she new what I was wearing or if was a general comment, but I said sure. I will let you know what happens.
Shafted Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 . Then she said I could borrow them later. Not sure if she new what I was wearing or if was a general comment, but I said sure. I will let you know what happens. Sounds like hit to me from only the text. Would have had to have been there to say for sure. Shafted, the boots that is! View my gallery here http://www.hhplace.o...afteds-gallery/ or view my heeling thread here http://www.hhplace.org/topic/3850-new-pair-of-boots-starts-me-serious-street-heeling/ - Pm me if you want fashion advice or just need someone to talk to.
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