sept181 Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 Dropped into a mainstream shop this morning and picked up a new pair of peep toe heels, not my usual style but they just jumped at me and I had to have them. (see attachment) I am not the most confident person when it comes to shopping for heels or for that fact wearing them, I am OK at home but try as I might I still can't get that confidence when it comes to wearing heels in public. any way when I came to pay for them the poor assistant, a girl in her early twentys, seemed to be totaly flustered by my purchase, she remained curtious throughout the transaction but dissapeared as soon as she handed me the recipt. It kind of gave me a boost to think that she was more embarresed than I was, although I would have been interested to hear the conversation back in the staff room! Anyone else had a similar situation ?
heelma Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 Dropped into a mainstream shop this morning and picked up a new pair of peep toe heels, not my usual style but they just jumped at me and I had to have them. (see attachment) I am not the most confident person when it comes to shopping for heels or for that fact wearing them, I am OK at home but try as I might I still can't get that confidence when it comes to wearing heels in public. any way when I came to pay for them the poor assistant, a girl in her early twentys, seemed to be totaly flustered by my purchase, she remained curtious throughout the transaction but dissapeared as soon as she handed me the recipt. It kind of gave me a boost to think that she was more embarresed than I was, although I would have been interested to hear the conversation back in the staff room! Anyone else had a similar situation ? Did you actually try those on in the store, or did you even wear heels when entering the store to begin with? Otherwise, what's wrong with simply buying high heels when you're a guy? Even though I occasionally wear heels myself and tried on heels in a store also already, most often when I bought heels in a store they were for my wife. Nobody ever had any issues with that.
LovesHiHeels Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 A lot depends on the shoe size. Just afew weeks ago when I bought size 9 shoes from New look. The girl at the counter seeing the shoes were a size 9 asked me if they were for me and I said yes.
PatentHeel Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 A lot depends on the shoe size. Just a few weeks ago when I bought size 9 shoes from New look. The girl at the counter seeing the shoes were a size 9 asked me if they were for me and I said yes. I'm a UK size 8 and nearly always when I buy shoes in high street shops the assistant will jokingly ask if they are for me. I no longer get embarrassed because I find the best way to deal with a question like that is to jokingly reply "yes, they're for me, is it okay if try them on now". As they open the box looking a little surprised, I just laugh and say "Nah, don't be silly, they're not my style, but the wife likes them!"
heelma Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 Interesting experiences ... nobody ever asked me if heels I was about to buy were for me ... even when I bought size 13 heels at Payless!
Beigeboots Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 http://www.barratts.co.uk/wcsstore/ConsumerDirectStorefrontAssetStore/images/products/large/56_651_0567.jpg These are on sale at Barrats, I'd love to buy these but they don't sell them in my size.
Dr. Shoe Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 Normally the assistant brings the shoes out and unpacks them and offers them to me to try on... No embarrassment on either side it's as if it's the most normal thing in the world. It is true to say that most of the time I try on shoes I'm in girl mode but I do sometimes do it in boy mode too... Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects.
thedesigner Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 wkd heels, i'd buy them !! In London, i'm often asked do you want to try them on, rather than hope your wife/partner likes them... Reasonable question as i take uk 6 or 7 anyway, same as soulmate. Never ARE THEY FOR YOU ???? Often a comment they are wkd shoes, love the style....
johnieheel Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 I would say that would depend on who is the most insucure. real men wear heels
Stilettoscot Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 Quite a few times I've been asked if the shoes are for me, but never from an embarrassed assistant. BUT, the only time I was in DSW (last month), the girl at the register was a bit weirded out, but the second and third time I went up to her she seemed OK. I obviously didn't hide the fact that I was a 6+', 225lb guy trying on delicate heels...LOL Walking in ultra-highs because it's exciting...and it is!!
Acadianheels Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 The only purchase experiences I have had, were two times. The first experience at Wal Mart. There were a pair of 4 inch suede boots in a size 10. I had to have...so I put them in the cart with about 25 other items I had. Of corse I was nervous as hell to go through check out...so I figured I would hit self check out. NEGATIVE CAPTAIN!!!!! Self Checkouts were all down for maintenance which I had not noticed coming into the store...so then like a skiddish bird looking for an exit...when up and down the line evaluating the cashiers calculating which of them would be the least judgmental....So I settled on a cashier who was a woman in her mid 60s. I made sure to put the boots about midway in the items I was purchasing. Then waited for her response. She got to the boots, rang them in...put them in the bag, even double bagged them and never even gave me a second glance. Took my money and was very peasant. My second purchase was fairly well calculated. I got to thinking...when would be the best time to buy women’s shoes and pretty much not be judged on it. I know, just before Christmas. So I thought to myself....GENIUS! Lol. So, I was at the bank about six days before Christmas getting my Christmas Club money. They had one of those Christmas trees with the paper ornaments asking for various unwrapped gifts for the local orphan edge so I looked them over briefly and found one boys shoes child’s 9. Perfect. So I took the ornament and made a stop at Payless in the mall. Got myself my first pair of chunk ankle boots in a women’s 10 and the youth shoes for the bank. Once again the help was more then accommodating. Asked if I needed help, didn’t even give me a second thought when I went to check out. Very smooth transaction plus it was a buy one get one half off. Those are my only two public purchases. All that I own beyond that are ebay and online stores.
yozz Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 Very smooth transaction plus it was a buy one get one half off. All that planning was (in my eyes) a total waste. The important part is: "act normal". Anything else can only spoil it. The only reactions one may get is when the sales assistant is very inexperienced. Like you are the first male to ever buy a pair of heels from her. And then she will look funny no matter what. Just select a sales assistant who is experienced. Y. Raise your voice. Put on some heels.
Guest Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 Sometimes the question. However The "lion cubs" from Clarks the young assistant was slow, placing the shoebox on the side..... When I said that I would pay for them now she was expecting that they were for my O/H to try on shortly, thinking I was choosing ahead of her before she arrived. I then said no they were for me, she was slightly taken aback and then referred to the size as if using it as a confirmation, but still not really believing me. I've had this a couple of times from young girls of 17-20 age group. They just don't believe in us. I'm waiting for one to start flirting. but I'm not sure how far to go with it, due to current relationship there again?????? Al
Guy N. Heels Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 My goodness! Has it been so long ago that I've forgotten how to be embarrassed when buying shoes; or have my meds fried my brane to where I can no longer relate??? Nevertheless, it seems to me that it's the same old story everywhere: pick out a bucket of paint, take it to the cashier and pay for it; order a hamburger without cheese and then pay for it; pick out some hardware for the kitchen, take it to the cashier and pay for it; pick out a pair of shoes, take them to the cashier and then pay for them... How complicated does it have to be? Keep on stepping, Guy N. Heels
HappyFeat Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 Well, since it seems you handled it pretty well, I would simply say she was more embarrassed than you. My first experience in a women's shoe store was not too long ago. I had bought my shoes elsewhere such as self-serve stores or department stores, usually without trying them on. The clerk on that first occasion was helpful but a bit weirded out. I went back and she was wonderful, so maybe you were just her first male customer and she will be better prepared the next time. Or not. I also shop for women's bottoms. I go to a Lane Bryant near my home and the staff there is wonderful and they were fromthe very first time I went. I am one of their best customers, they hold things for me, prepare my dressing room, etc. But the other Lane Bryant stores I have been to act very strange around me, often not even offering assistance. Some people are open and others aren't and it is ALWAYS their problem in my mind. I just choose to spend my money where I get the best service. I would be interested to know from anybody who has worked a traditionally female retail establishment if there is ever any discussion of male customers buying stuff for themselves and how to handle it. Style is built from the ground up!
radiodave Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 I can say I've had both very good and very embarrassed sales folks. Best one was probably the one at Aldo. I was buying a pair of wedge sandals, asked if they had a 9, and she came back empty handed, apologizing. So I asked if she had an 8, to which she pointed out the one on display was an 8. She asked if I needed foot sox, but I had one. She commented that they looked nice, but we agreed they were a little on the small side. So she got on the computer, found out she could order a 9, and had them shipped to my house. Very helpful, and she commented that she was jealous of my size; she usually took a 10. Most embarrassed one was the one who returned with the size I asked for, and then gave me the "OMG, you aren't really going to try those on?" look when I proceeded to do just that. So I shot back a look of "Yeah, I'm going to try them on, and what of it?". She did ask if they fit OK afterward, and seemed to have gotten over the shock of it. I've found that most of the sales folks are helpful, and they usually don't seem too surprised that a guy is trying them on. I like it when they compliment or offer suggestions without acting like I must moonlight as a drag queen. Maybe that's why I like stores like Aldo or Macy's; they are presenting an image, so I think it's expected they should be professional about it, and if they are making a commission on the sale then it's best to encourage the customer to come back.
HappyFeat Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 One idea hasn't surfaced yet in this thread - she wasn't -embarrassed-, maybe she thought you were hot and got all tongue-tied and teenaged. It happens. Trust me on this, if it hasn't happened to you. I agree with this thought. I think it happens more than you think. Style is built from the ground up!
PatentHeel Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 One idea hasn't surfaced yet in this thread - she wasn't -embarrassed-, maybe she thought you were hot and got all tongue-tied and teenaged. It happens. Trust me on this, if it hasn't happened to you. good point.
Guest Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 I forgot one comment from when I bought my first heels "I used to wear heels that high, but not now" she may have been a couple of years older than me but as I say they were my first and confidence had not established itself yet, what would she have thought? Al
Bluegrassptp Posted January 16, 2009 Posted January 16, 2009 I have good luck with Payless and Sexy Shoes I have only had one issue shopping for heels and that was Shoe Carnival . The sales girl a mouthy youg lady ,probably her first job. She made a comment about how cute I would look in the shoes I was purchasing . They were a pair of open toe pumps size 12 by Deba Girl. The lady behind me told her she would do well to wear something besides ugly flat and could learn a thing or two from wearing heel and furthermore it was a sale and she should keep to positive compliments. I just kept my mouth shut and chuckeled on the way out. I have been Banned for emailing abuse to tech when he tried to help me.
Dawn HH Posted January 18, 2009 Posted January 18, 2009 Great comment by the lady in line behind you. I would chuckle at that one myself and thank her for her comment. Maybe that sales gal will watch her mouth the next time. Cheers--- Dawn HH High Heeled Boots Forever!
shoemaniac Posted January 18, 2009 Posted January 18, 2009 A few years ago I bought a pair of matt black three and a half inch heel pointy toed sling backs size 10UK from my local Brantano store, at the counter I was served by a women in her fifties wearing a trouser suit, she opened the box to check the shoes when she realised the shoes were a size 10UK she gave me a look of revile and raised her voice and said size 10 is that right!! She then went into great detail about the spare heel tips that came with the shoes whilst still looking at me in disgust she obviously knew I was buying them for myself, I wish I had the courage to remind her that it was only about eighty to ninety years ago that the trouser suit she was wearing would of been socially unacceptable and that people would of looked at her as if she had two heads. I think that the size of the shoes you are buying have got something to do with how you are treated, when I used to buy shoes for my now ex girlfriend no female shoe shop assistant ever batted an eyelid and my girlfriend took a size 8UK, I think also maybe the age of the shop assistant might be a factor too I think the older generation can't accept change so much?
johnieheel Posted January 18, 2009 Posted January 18, 2009 I think that the size of the shoes you are buying have got something to do with how you are treated, when I used to buy shoes for my now ex girlfriend no female shoe shop assistant ever batted an eyelid and my girlfriend took a size 8UK, I think also maybe the age of the shop assistant might be a factor too I think the older generation can't accept change so much? I think this lady was just one in a million and had issues of her own. Afraid of leaving her little society controlled box. Most of the older generation that finds out about my shoe preference are OK with it. One of our older women neighbors came over to work out with my wife a few days ago and asked whats with all the high heel stuff and shoes? (most my shoes are lined up around the gym in the basement). My wife replied, my husband doesn't like mens shoes. The elder lady (60's) then replied, I suppose there are worse things. Thats all that was said. I can give you many more examples. I think it's just how people are programed and they are afraid of what others might think if they dare to be not different, but themselves. real men wear heels
jmc Posted January 18, 2009 Posted January 18, 2009 People do pigeonhole themselves into their own little worlds, don't they? And when they do, anything outside that world just knocks them for a loop. But a salesperson in a retail establishment should make an effort to be ready for anything. A sale is a sale and you don't want to send a potential customer away empty-handed and with cash still in his pocket. Moreover, even if the customer does buy, you want him to go away with a rosy glow about your store -- so he might come back and buy again someday! Have a happy time!
Dawn HH Posted January 19, 2009 Posted January 19, 2009 I totally agree with what you say JMC. A sale is a sale no matter who it is that are buying. Cheers--- Dawn HH High Heeled Boots Forever!
shoemaniac Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 You say this lady must be one in a million I'm afraid that doesn't seem to be the case there are more narrow minded people than you may think. Some years ago I went into a women's clothing shop where they sell a nice selection of "women's styled shoes" in my size (10 UK) they had a sale on so I just had to buy a couple of pairs. I picked out two pairs of mules one white pair and one navy blue pair these weren't particularly high heeled mules in fact quite low for me they were about 2 to 2 half inch heels, I proceeded to the checkout and put down the two boxes of shoes down on the counter and I got the same response as I had before. The female shop assistant who served me was in her fifties and soon as she realised the shoes were a size 10 UK she was giving me looks of disapproval, she advised me that I don't have to come to the shop in person to save any embarrassment I could order from their catalogue instead, I just can't believe the amount of small minded ignorant people are out there.
xaphod Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 I tried on a pair in L K Bennet's sale yesterday. http://www.lkbennett.com http://www.lkbennett.com/products/sale/saleshoes/saleboots/brady/pid-29250black I was looking for a pair of fairly conservative knee-high boots that I can wear under trousers when I do my volunteer work at the local church. The shop is towards the upper end of the retail spectrum, so the sales staff have a certain manner towards customers they regularly relieve of £300 upwards, so it tends to put them off a bit when a well-dressed guy walks in giving that impression of 'hang on, something's not quite right here'. The long leather coat could be of a better make, but certainly wasn't cheap. The roll neck top actually was very cheap, but could well have cost £30. The trousers weren't of the usual cut .... I should darn well hope not .... they're Marks and Sparks girlies bootcut trousers which have a certain elegance. The hat cost more than most people pay for a pair of shoes, from one of the last London gentlemen's hatters. To top it off, I had my briefcase with me and I won't say what was in that (it certainly wasn't my sandwiches for lunch ! ). The shoes were Sacha knee-highs with a 4" blade heel. The older woman took on the female look I characterise as 'freeze water at 10 paces' .... come on guys, you must know what I'm talking about .... when you try to chat up a woman who is a bit 'above your station in life' and her demeanour makes it pretty plain that she would rather the ground swallow you up, than lower herself to actually talking to you. The younger woman was pretty helpful and found me the other half to the boot I had selected, which I tried on in the shop. My conclusion was that I would have bought them if they had them in black (not dark brown). On leaving, I said something like that I used to do the cross-dresser bit, but now I just blur the edges. Pointing to the elegant stilettos on sale, I said, "I love the stils, but I've got more than I'll ever need." The younger woman burst out laughing, and the air liquefied around the old crow ! Xa
wetwillie Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 I stopped in Payless last summer and asked the young sales girl if they had a particular heel that was on sale in a size 13. What I told her is that I often wear a kilt and I get a lot of kidding about my "dress" and I thought it would be funny to walk in the bar in a pair of high heels. She agreed it would be a hoot, but that they only went up to a 12. She offered to let me try them on. I did but they were too small. It was weird to be trying on heels as she stood there watching, but she was cool about it and suggested I order them online in my size.
johnieheel Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 To top it off, I had my briefcase with me and I won't say what was in that (it certainly wasn't my sandwiches for lunch ! ). Xa Now I have to know what was in your briefcase. Drugs, gun, money? You can't just leave us hanging like that. real men wear heels
ChipsHH Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 I think I mentioned this many months ago. I came up to a Payless, after coming from the bank and decided to keep on the peep-toes I walked into the bank with (which mind you, the bank got crowded when I got there). And I entered the store. Two girls (looked to be my age or older) were conversating, and when I entered, they asked, "Looking for men's shoes?" Nervously, I answered a shy "Yes," and the one girl directed me to the men's section in the back. Of course, I lied, what did you expect? (It was a first visit in heels, btw.) And my lie showed on my feet. As soon as they saw my peep-toes (and at the same time, the girl just finished directing me), there was (I guessed, didn't see) a "Whoa!" look at my toesies, which were both poking out from under my jeans, as I walked by, rather swiftly btw. Don't believe I got a bad comment from it, but I bet it made for a good converstion when I left out ;D And I think They felt embarassed for pointing me to the wrong section, lol. Formally "HHDude"
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