Ever Wish You Were A Woman - Just To Wear A Certain Look?

[Dr. Shoe]

Ah.. But what if "back in the day" had been now?

Nope. Wouldn't be able to do it.

[saudade]

No, my freedom to wear women's clothing is grounded in my ability to maintain the distinction between the male sex and female sex, both for myself and other people. The masculinity or femininity of clothing is socially constructed with regards to culture and changes over space and time. My sense that I am male, or others sense that I am male; however does NOT change even if I wear stiletto pumps. Because my confidence is built on something that is not socially constructed and does not change over space an time, I do NOT therefore ever wish to be a female to pull off a look. There's no need for that in my world view.

Agree 100%.

I think this page might interest everyone here http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2012/03/the-genderbread-person-v2-0/

[snail]

I don't think I would like to be born women, as it would mean, that I would not be born men... But from the other hand, maybe I like being men, because I am men, and if I was born women, I would like to be a women? Who knows... Anyway, when I was a small boy, I read "The Cyberiad" from Stanisław Lem. In one of the stories there, there was a device that was allowing people to exchange bodies... It could be fun to have one of them... Just to change bodies to see, how the other side feels... When I was a teenager, we made an arangement with my female friend, that when we will be old, and the medicine will be able to do miracles, we'll make a surgery so I become young women and she becomes young man, and then we got married in that twisty way to leave another life from other perspective Ah, all this kids stupid ideas... But actually, I would not like to be born women, but if I could change my body temporary to/for woman body, that would be interesting experience

[Guest]

Agree 100%.

I think this page might interest everyone here http://itspronounced...ad-person-v2-0/

Yes definitely I shall return for a Deeper look.

Al

[HeeledSlides]

Sometimes I wish to be a woman. But it's not a general wish or feeling. I am quite happy to be who I am. Women have so much more freedom to dress and a huge choise on shoes, both heeled and not heeled. And that's what makes me envious from time to time.

[hh4evr1]

i never wanted to be a girl. I just wanted to wear heels as a man.

[Stilletto2004]

If you read this thread, and read between the lines, pretty much everyone is saying that they'd love to have the freedom to wear whatever they want. Whether thats heels, hose, or a sundress. Just remember, freedom isn't free! You have to fight for it. You know. Like women did.

[scrappycoco]

If you read this thread, and read between the lines, pretty much everyone is saying that they'd love to have the freedom to wear whatever they want. Whether thats heels, hose, or a sundress. Just remember, freedom isn't free! You have to fight for it. You know. Like women did.

I couldn't agree more. I have said this for a long time. Until we as men stand up and say we have had enough of being placed in this "man box" we will never have the freedom to be who we are and we will always be forced to be who everyone else wants us to be. There is no reason why women can wear skirt, heels, hose or anything else deemed girly and still be considered in the same light as men. Until we stand up and challenge the rules we will always be stuck. It may cost us somethings, but in the end we are breaking the "man mold" for are son's to be them self not who someone says they have to be. Enough said!

[Dr. Shoe]

A wise man once told me that if you put a load of crabs in a basket and one tries to climb out, the others will pull him back in. That's peer pressure for you.

[Pumped]

i never wanted to be a girl. I just wanted to wear heels as a man.

Same here. I don't want to be a woman, I love being a man. Bsides, If I was a woman I would be a flaming lesbian as I love women!

I just wish men's fashion was not so bland. I really have no desire to were womans' clothing, just very envious of the range of styles, colors, and shoes.

[kneehighs]

If you read this thread, and read between the lines, pretty much everyone is saying that they'd love to have the freedom to wear whatever they want. Whether thats heels, hose, or a sundress. Just remember, freedom isn't free! You have to fight for it. You know. Like women did.

I already have the freedom to wear what I want as socially constructed stereotypes which are limited by culture, time and space have no bearing on how I live my life. I don't believe that I have to fight for that freedom as women did as if that freedom is something that has to be obtained through warfare with the media, victory over culture, and strategic level dominion over governmental authority. That freedom in my life is already here, that freedom is already now, that freedom already a reality.

[SleekHeels]

Perhaps historically some women may have wished they were men so that they could enjoy certain social privileges, so it's an interesting idea that a man might wish to be a woman to enjoy the privilege of fashion freedom. I agree with Stilletto24 that the freedom is there to be enjoyed but it takes effort to earn it. In the light of what kneehighs wrote I also agree it doesn't have to be warfare, perhaps it's more of an inner struggle to overcome fear and find the confidence. The first women to wear stilettos or mini-skirts or fishnets or whatever met with fierce social disapproval, and sometimes still do to this day, but the ones who instigate change are the ones who just get out there and wear what they want with pride and self-respect.

The 19th century author Mary Anne Evans wrote under the pen name George Eliot in order for her work to gain credibility, and today's women in business feel a need to tone down their femininity to be taken seriously in the workplace. So while feminism has made great strides in giving women the freedom to behave like men, I wonder whether it's made much progress in raising the respectability of femininity. As a guy who enjoys incorporating femininity into expressing positive aspiration, I think that makes a powerful social statement that I just wouldn't be able to make in the same way if I was a woman. In that respect my freedom of expression through fashion is greater than what a woman has, and it's up to me to use it.

For sure it might be fabulous to enjoy the poolside bikini and stilettos look with all the bumps in the right places, but at the end of the day it's just as important to be a guy in heels as it is to be a girl in heels, so no I don't wish I was a woman. Maybe what I do wish is that more women found guys in heels attractive - you know girls, those knights in shining armour (and egos to match) will always let you down in the end!

[ilikekicks]

I already have the freedom to wear what I want as socially constructed stereotypes which are limited by culture, time and space have no bearing on how I live my life. I don't believe that I have to fight for that freedom as women did as if that freedom is something that has to be obtained through warfare with the media, victory over culture, and strategic level dominion over governmental authority. That freedom in my life is already here, that freedom is already now, that freedom already a reality.

BINGO! Fully agree!

-Ilk

Maybe what I do wish is that more women found guys in heels attractive - you know girls, those knights in shining armour (and egos to match) will always let you down in the end!

For the right guy, I dont think women could give 2 shits what we would be wearing. Be it heels, a flannel shirt.. Balding..

Clothes dont make a person.

You and I might look at some babe and say something like ' Eh.. her hair is nappy ' or ' she dresses rather frumpy ', yet without saying " Hello, how are you? " or speaking with them, we dont really know if they are attractive or not. Maybe visually appealing or ' eye candy ' might be a term.

This is going to sound comical BUT..

Imagine someone like Blake Lively in looks ( substitute any woman you find extremely pleasing on the eyes if need be ). You say to yourself ' That looks rather scrumptious.. ' so ya find the stones to walk up and say " Hello ". Before she shakes your hand, she picks her but, belches, scratches her crotch then offers you that same hand and says in a baritone key " How goes it man.. " .

A guy in heels isnt as bad as THAT!

Women are no different then you and I in their thinking. Its all a myth.

-Ilk

[FreshinHeels]

For the right guy, I dont think women could give 2 shits what we would be wearing. Be it heels, a flannel shirt.. Balding..

Clothes dont make a person.

Agree very much with this.

But if ye look at the stories here and other forums a lot of woman/men don't agree with this.

They think: A man has to be a man and look like a man

Edited December 15, 2012 by FreshinHeels

[Maninheels]

Agree very much with this.

But if ye look at the stories here and other forums a lot of woman/men don't agree with this.

They think: A man has to be a man and look like a man

Just because a man has on a pair of heels does not mean that that he is not being and does not look like a man. I am know that there are those out there that disagree with me on that to me those are just the people that have the social stigma stuck in their heads because they are too afraid to form their own opinion.

[ilikekicks]

Agree very much with this.

But if ye look at the stories here and other forums a lot of woman/men don't agree with this.

They think: A man has to be a man and look like a man

Anna Nicole married out of love, right? How about Hugh Heffner and his flock of ladies?

I will be willing to say HALF of the women out there have no clue in what they want in a man to begin with. Its the same as men if not worse as 60% of women wind up cheating on their spouse compared to 35% in men in a bunch of different ' studies ' ( I think the numbers are off IMO ).

If there is a woman whom has something negative to say about a guy wearing some kind of shoe.. I HOPE they would first see if the guy has a job ( or can hold one ), Can contribute to their half of the relationship financially, help with children ( if they are in the picture ) can be compassionate enough to lend an emotional hand when needed.. be thoughtful.. Theres a whole list of other things that matter so much more then whats on their feet.

Just because a man has on a pair of heels does not mean that that he is not being and does not look like a man. I am know that there are those out there that disagree with me on that to me those are just the people that have the social stigma stuck in their heads because they are too afraid to form their own opinion.

Tell a woman they can no longer wear a dress, a skirt, skinny jeans, heels.. Tell them they need the same wardrobe as you have and watch them RUN! No more cosmetics, no more salon visits.. Take away all the vanity.. See what their opinion of life in general would be!

[FreshinHeels]

You don't have to convince me guys but all those man has to me man believing people

[kneehighs]

....Perhaps historically some women may have wished they were men so that they could enjoy certain social privileges, so it's an interesting idea that a man might wish to be a woman to enjoy the privilege of fashion freedom. I agree with Stilletto24 that the freedom is there to be enjoyed but it takes effort to earn it.

Personally, I don't agree with the principle that we have to fight for our freedom, like our community is some modern inverted form of the women's emancipation movement. That's a dangerous false historical parallel whose lack of consummation only gives community members an EXCUSE to not wear heels. It absolves them of their personal responsibility. The individual freedom is already there. The governmental support for gender freedom, the fashion industry support for gender expressive freedom, the economic support for heels for men is already there. Heck, even the media support for men in heels is already there. The time is now, not later.

... but the ones who instigate change are the ones who just get out there and wear what they want with pride and self-respect.

This part I agree with

Just because a man has on a pair of heels does not mean that that he is not being and does not look like a man. I am know that there are those out there that disagree with me on that to me those are just the people that have the social stigma stuck in their heads because they are too afraid to form their own opinion.

Exactly! My freedom as stated before: "...my freedom to wear women's clothing is grounded in my ability to maintain the distinction between the male sex and female sex, both for myself and other people. The masculinity or femininity of clothing is socially constructed with regards to culture and changes over space and time. My sense that I am male, or others sense that I am male; however does NOT change even if I wear stiletto pumps. Because my confidence is built on something that is not socially constructed and does not change over space an time, I do NOT therefore ever wish to be a female to pull off a look. There's no need for that in my world view."

[saudade]

Personally, I don't agree with the principle that we have to fight for our freedom, like our community is some modern inverted form of the women's emancipation movement. That's a dangerous false historical parallel whose lack of consummation only gives community members an EXCUSE to not wear heels.

Agreed, I'd also like to point out to the guys that are on the fence. You already have the freedom to wear heels. The only impediment is your worry of others opinions of that. Just say screw them and do what you want. That is true in what you wear and life in general.

Yes there can be repercussions, but imagine if you are on your deathbed. Do you imagine yourself regretting not trying what you want to do? If yes, be the change you wish to see in the world. Its really rather simple.

[Shafted]

Agreed, I'd also like to point out to the guys that are on the fence. You already have the freedom to wear heels. The only impediment is your worry of others opinions of that. Just say screw them and do what you want. That is true in what you wear and life in general.

Yes there can be repercussions, but imagine if you are on your deathbed. Do you imagine yourself regretting not trying what you want to do? If yes, be the change you wish to see in the world. Its really rather simple.

Words to live by.

[ilikekicks]

... but imagine if you are on your deathbed. Do you imagine yourself regretting not trying what you want to do? If yes, be the change you wish to see in the world. Its really rather simple.

I was almost there, almost didnt do the second round of my battles ( by choice ).

I now use what you have mentioned as a standard to my own life. There are many things I WILL do before my last day. I basque in all that I can and I dont look back with remorse.

If people are really that worried, about what people will think of the shoes they wear, they are shorting themselves in a much greater inner desire to just live life to its fullest!

-Ilk

[autumnheels]

Oh yes, as a child (younger than 6) I prayed to god to let me wake up as a girl, only because of high heels

[Jimnj3]

I was almost there, almost didnt do the second round of my battles ( by choice ).

I now use what you have mentioned as a standard to my own life. There are many things I WILL do before my last day. I basque in all that I can and I dont look back with remorse.

If people are really that worried, about what people will think of the shoes they wear, they are shorting themselves in a much greater inner desire to just live life to its fullest!

-Ilk

Your last line is the one to live by "If people are really that worried, about what people will think of the shoes they wear, they are shorting themselves in a much greater inner desire to just live life to its fullest!" Got to live your life for yourself and enjoy or we will be missing out on some of our best years!

[Steve63130]

Indeed we already have the freedom to wear heels in public. Today I wore a pair of Aerosoles Besotted booties with 3.5" heels, and rather thin ones (for me at least), although not stiletto. I took my wife to her physical therapy session and waited in the waiting room. Then we went to Panera's and had lunch. I didn't look to see if anyone else saw me. I didn't care. I just acted naturally and felt great that I had the freedom to wear what I wanted, and I had the confidence to know I looked darn good in those booties! No drama, I just did it and it was totally liberating. You can do it, too! Steve

[kneehighs]

....The only impediment is your worry of others opinions of that. Just say screw them and do what you want. That is true in what you wear and life in general.

I wouldn't go so far as to say, "the only impediment". My opinion is that if we don't have a strong enough vision of what we are moving towards, we waste our energy thinking about what we are trying to move away from instead. Just as a race car driver doesn't concentrate on a wall when doing a turn at 180 mph and say to himself, "that's the wall I need to avoid" so freestylers need stronger visions about what they are moving towards. In general, they need clarity in their vision about the future they are designing for themself. From that line of action, the fear then tends to autoresolve itself.

Yes there can be repercussions, but imagine if you are on your deathbed. Do you imagine yourself regretting not trying what you want to do? If yes, be the change you wish to see in the world. Its really rather simple.

I'll second that! That exact reasoning is what made me move to New York City with no friends, no family, no job, nowhere to stay and with only two boxes of clothes to my name and a one way greyhound bus ticket. My friends back in the midwest may have laughed at me then, but I'm the one doing the laughing now.

Indeed we already have the freedom to wear heels in public. Today I wore a pair of Aerosoles Besotted booties with 3.5" heels, and rather thin ones (for me at least), although not stiletto. I took my wife to her physical therapy session and waited in the waiting room. Then we went to Panera's and had lunch. I didn't look to see if anyone else saw me. I didn't care. I just acted naturally and felt great that I had the freedom to wear what I wanted, and I had the confidence to know I looked darn good in those booties! No drama, I just did it and it was totally liberating. You can do it, too!

Steve

!! Exactly! I think your words underscore what I said above. Your mind was too busy thinking about what you were moving towards -- feeling natural and feeling great and celebrating that you had the freedom to wear heels -- that you didn't even think to look to see if anyone else saw you.

[aussieheels1]

absolutely.... always dream to be a woman (for brief moments of time) so that I can wear everything that is acceptable to wear.... I understand that I can wear it as a man and it is no ones business except for mine to wear what I want... however, I want to pull off the look and as much as it shouldn't be important, I want other people to see me and appreciate the look (as oppose to thinking why is that man wearing high heels and skinny jeans) do want want to be a woman full time.... no way... do I want to be able tio wear what they can wear and actually pull the look off.... yes.....

[Shafted]

however, I want to pull off the look and as much as it shouldn't be important, I want other people to see me and appreciate the look (as oppose to thinking why is that man wearing high heels and skinny jeans)

Exactly the right attitude, and it does work.

[saudade]

I wouldn't go so far as to say, "the only impediment". My opinion is that if we don't have a strong enough vision of what we are moving towards, we waste our energy thinking about what we are trying to move away from instead. Just as a race car driver doesn't concentrate on a wall when doing a turn at 180 mph and say to himself, "that's the wall I need to avoid" so freestylers need stronger visions about what they are moving towards. In general, they need clarity in their vision about the future they are designing for themself. From that line of action, the fear then tends to autoresolve itself.

I think I spent too little time articulating my point (I was about to go out drinking, my bad!). I totally agree, the guys here should worry less about wearing stilettos/heels/etc... than integrating them into who they are exactly. Of which how you dress is only one aspect. I think out of all the guys on this board you exude those characteristics well.

My hope was more to be blunt with my statement that there is no outside external impediment to wearing heels. Now how you do that is your bag, but the only thing stopping you from say hitting on that really hot woman at the bar, is your own internal dialogue.

One of the many great things from buddhism is the goals to eliminate regret. If you desire to do something (heh, another thing you should eliminate, desire is bad too but i digress), do it. I'm to the point that wearing heels is meh, I love them, but they don't define who and what I am as a human. They are just one aspect of it.

And I'm in squirrel banter mode and repeating things. So back to work for moi!

[Curt]

If I could wake up tomorrow as a woman that would be awesome, but I have to accept things for the way they are. We should be able to wear what we want without worrying about what others think! I do a little test before I leave the house. I get all dressed up( like I said before, I dress to the 9's even going grocery shopping!)I look in the mirror at myself, if I like how I look, then I will go out with that outfit on. I won't change anything just because someone else doesn't approve of it. I don't owe them anything, this is my like, I can dress the way I want. We don't need approval or acceptance. Is a woman looking for approval when she's wearing stripper shoes in the office? Hell no! A woman will rip your head off if we told her how to dress. We shoulld be doing the same thing.

[SleekHeels]

Personally, I don't agree with the principle that we have to fight for our freedom, like our community is some modern inverted form of the women's emancipation movement. That's a dangerous false historical parallel whose lack of consummation only gives community members an EXCUSE to not wear heels. It absolves them of their personal responsibility. The individual freedom is already there.

I wouldn't go so far as to say, "the only impediment". My opinion is that if we don't have a strong enough vision of what we are moving towards, we waste our energy thinking about what we are trying to move away from instead.

Reflecting on what you said in relation to what I was trying to say, I agree with you, there can be a tendency to externalise the "fight" against acceptance as an excuse, and create an opposition to wearing heels that isn't really there. However I think that's sometimes just a reflection of an "inner struggle" to come to terms that there's nothing inherrently wrong about enjoying wearing high heels. Also a lot of guys do also talk about the difficulties they face with unsupportive partners and that's an issue that has to be confronted. Again I'm inclined to agree with you that making a fight out of it doesn't help to resolve the problem.

I think the original question has two aspects, which makes it fascinating. The first is just physical, that having a female physique would make it easier to wear certain outfits. I believe that there's so much variation in female physique and we just have to experiment and find what looks work for us or not, just like women do. There are some limits (like a bikini) but we still have a lot of scope to play with. As far as shoes go specifically, there's a lot of overlap between the variety in womens feet and mens. If the main difference is size then lets not say "I wish I was a woman" when what we mean is "I wish I had smaller feet" or "I wish they made heels in bigger sizes".

The second aspect is social, wanting to be a woman because that would make it more socially acceptable to wear certain fashions. To me that feels like caving in to gender discrimination, and actually being a guy wearing heels allows me to make a strong statement against gender stereotypes, to the point that I'm starting to see that as a positive rather than a negative.