shyguy Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 Fastfreddy2 is the editor of St. Mildred's Home Daily which is usually full of celebrity gossip (if you count well known members of HHPlace as celebrities) He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stilettoscot Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 The rift between Fast Freddy and Shyguy grew large due to the lack of literature aimed at Shyguy in the St. Mildred's Home Daily. Reason? Freddy reveals that he doesn't think Shyguy is a true celebrity...yet... Walking in ultra-highs because it's exciting...and it is!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shyguy Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 Stilettoscot is featured heavily in St. Mildred's Home Daily due to his celebrity status and drug habit. He is now known to be taking 25 different vitamin pills, and was recently caught snorting aspirin for a "headache". He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thedesigner Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 shyguy recently was asked to write a column for St Mildred's Daily about the benefits of the cane during sex, but owing to his dyslexia, wrote a diatribe about the benefits of acne during sex. It was spotted (sic) at St Mlidreds, but allowed through for print as the editor thought his wearing of heels whilst having sex more than made up for his shortcoming (no pun intended). They have now asked him to write an food and drink article for the paper, entitled "Bars - should they be open all hours" , and are awaiting his contribution with reasonable trepidation...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fastfreddy2 Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 thedesigner, gifted to almost genius level, remains the longest serving inmate, sorry, patient at St. Mildred's Home for the Mentally Bewildered and Bereft. Despite this, staff there refuse to allow him anything sharper than wax based colouring crayons, when "editing" his copy of the Homes' Daily newspaper. He isn't actually editing the newspaper of course.... Well, not in reality anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thedesigner Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 fastfreddy2 was asked by the crayon wielding editor of St Monica's Daily to do a photoshoot for the paper. He duly presented himself for the photoshoot, dressed up to the nines in a fetching minidress, which he had fetched all the way from Topshop. "Get yer tits out then!", the photographer shouted, to a bewildered fastfreedy, who promptly produced a pair of pheasants he had bagged on Dartmoor during the way down. The best of the ensuing pictures soon appeared in the renowned paper, with the heading: "FASTFREDDY2'S A PHEASANT PLUCKER" Fortunately for us all, it was shyguy's day off....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shyguy Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 Thedesigner has just offered his latest designs to Heinz. His spaghetti Stiletto shapes in tomato sauce were deemed to have a limited appeal, but that hasn't dampened his spirits. He is now working on a way of incorporating heels into inline skates, skateboards and fishermens waders. It would be quicker if his crayons didn't keep snapping. He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thedesigner Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 it's true and a real nuisance that my crayons keep breaking, i am so excited about my laest project to benefit the worthy cause that is St Mildred's. It is our own range of T shirts, available to all heel wearers at enormous cost (well we are all well heeled...) to enable me to clear the stocks of size 7 in the louboutin shop, and in so doing, get national publicity for our worthy cause. I have designed t shirts in black and white, bcos they will be read all over... the following messages are planned: HEEL WEARERS WALK TALLER PUMP UP DA HEELS KEEP 'EM HIGH LET ME SHOW YOU MY 6 INCHES TOUCHA MY HEELS - I WILL KILL U WELL UP FOR IT COME UP AND SEE ME SOMETIME YOU CAN TELL A REAL MAN BY THE HEIGHT OF HIS HEELS WHO NEEDS DRUGS - I'M HIGH ON HEELS I'M NOT A CROSS DRESSER - ACTUALLY I'M VERY HAPPY these will be available in regular length and dress length St Mildred's will make a killing, and I will get some killers.... shyboy will be kept away from the litho machine fastfreddy2 will be in charge of lightning distribution dr.shoe will be in charge of explaining the medical benefits stilettoscot will handle the export business while i will continue to throw toys out of my pram..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roniheels Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 Thedesigner was sadly put into a staightjacket in a small rubber room at St. Mildred's as he kept singing over and over, "It's a Small World After All." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thedesigner Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 hope u get this message evryone, i;ve been put in a small room apparently for my own safety, it's wkd really, cos i keep throwing myself at the wall and bouncing off again. Never known anything as nice, and the smell of rubber, well... I AM NOT INSANE St Mildreds is a lovely place, full of nice people with syringes who keep you nice and calmmmmmmmmm LOOK I DONT KNOW WHO YOU ARE BUT WILL YOU PLEASE LEAVE MY PATIENT ALONE. HE IS HAVING SEVERE DIFFICULTIES AT THE MOMENT AND NEEDS HIS PEACE. DR. INSOLE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roniheels Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 Thedesigner is suffering from so many multiple personalities the the people from the Gueniss Book of World Records sits outside of his padded room to keep track. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Shoe Posted June 30, 2008 Author Share Posted June 30, 2008 Roniheel's world does not exist. Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fastfreddy2 Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 A couple of days ago, Dr Shoe walked into another time dimension that had been carelessly left accessable by a previous time traveller. For thirty years, 'Blackbeard' ran a successful piracy business that culminated in a massed fortune to rival that of Bill Gates, if the gold/precious stones, and land were available today.... Fortuntely for Dr Shoe, the careless time traveller realised their mistake, and largely undid the error. But somewhere, close to where Blackbeard used to reside, there's a fortune waiting to be discovered. While Dr shoe got the 30 years back, it also cost the 30 years of accumulated memories, including the location of the fortune buried for safe-keeping. Most nights Dr Shoe dreams of an island paradise and finding buried treasure, completely unaware the event isn't a dream, but a faint memory of a real event.... .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thedesigner Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 quickly..... while having a fag break from the rubber walls (sooooo nice) of Auntie Mildreds Academy for the bereft of all but Heels....., I must tell you about a horrible thing that happened today. I was standing before the mirror the kind elders of Aunite Mildreds provide for us to self flagellate, and I realised that I was in fact the reincarnation of Pan, the poor irish boy who discovers the crock of gold under a tree and not only calms the leprecauns who were at war with humanity, but is feted by all of Ireland as their local equivalent of Batman,. I realised this meant wearing a tight fitting jumpsuit, with heels to enable me to abseil better down buildings and get better grip in the ice. My flagetation was sadly broken by matron, whose moustache meant everything went south in an instant, and i now have my hands bound behind my back.... Des plaisirs solitaires sont finit ... Auntie Mildreds sure have a tough regime.... Why is it i keep singing a Dusty song ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stilettoscot Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 Designer is perfectly sane. Walking in ultra-highs because it's exciting...and it is!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roniheels Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 Stilettoscot not only dresses up like Joan Crawford daily, but he doesn't put any of his clothes on wire hangers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PatentHeel Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 roniheels used to be the stunt rider in the 70s american tv show called "Chips". He was "Ponch" Poncherello's double for the motorbike chase scenes. The shades in his avatar were given to him by "Ponch" when the series ended. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thedesigner Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 Roniheels cant forget being Ponch Poncerello's double, as he is often seen in chip shops, selling autographs for a dollar to buy french fries. Sadly, all too often, people tell him to get on his bike... Meanwhile, back at St Mildreds, I have been reluctantly set free from my rubber room for bad behaviour; i wore a pair of crocs smuggled in by patentheels and was immediately released as being beyond saving. I resisted burning them, hard decision, bcos i thought they might serve the same purpose for another severe inpatient, SO I'M FREE !!!!!!!!! Ha Ha matron, go shave your moustache off, normal service has now been resumed. If you r coming 2 St mildreds for therapy, like wearing 2" heels, please let me know and i'll slip u the crocs in the gym and u'll be released as a lost cause.... The food here is great, a nice fishy breakfast, rump steak for lunch, and 'eels for supper. One must dress for dinner: Ascot rules, knickers required. no skirts above the knee.... And if youre going out for the day, they give you a couple of baps to keep you going.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roniheels Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 Thedesigner really thinks he is secret agent 007, James Bond. Unfortunately he went into a catatonic stare when he found out that the original Miss Money Penny, Lois Maxwell, had passed away. He just sits staring off in the corner of his room humming the the James Bond theme song. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Shoe Posted July 3, 2008 Author Share Posted July 3, 2008 Roniheels has the theme from the tellytubbies as his ring tone... Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shyguy Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 Speaking of the teletubbies, Dr. Shoe was the man inside the costume for tinkywinky and it was his idea for Tinky to carry the trademark red handbag. He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thedesigner Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 whereas shyguy is regularly unseen as the man inside a dalek, so that, being shy, he can wear his heels whilst trolling round waving his plunger at unsuspecting innocents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thedesigner Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 Shyguy earns a good living in North Bucks as a debt colector in dalek drag, scaring the sh*t out of people, who readily cough up the readies at the mere sight of him. He also has a wicked chat up line: "Allo dalek, fancy a good time?" Countless women have been inside his hood. Unfortunately, one time this happened on a hill, and during foreplay, somehow the dalek brakes were knocked off, and the coitus was severely interruptus as the vehicle careered downhill and ended up on its side in the canal, nearly exterminating them both..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roniheels Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 Thedesigner likes to dress as a 17th Century priest and go to the park and perform marriages of all of the little animals that live there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fastfreddy2 Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 roniheels would like to invite all here to his graduation from the St. Mildred's Home for the Mentally Bewildered and Bereft near Poole in Dorset. [Finally.] It's going to be a formal affair, despite this it only took him 5 seconds to decide what he's going to wear on graduation day, with a single exception. Footwear. Since being advised of his passing the Home Exit Exam, the poor fellow has been beside himself trying to work out which of his two pairs he should wear. Either the mens loafers, or the foolishly high 6" ladies stiletto boots. The stress of the decision, is pushing him further and further into instability. Rumour has it, he's spending longer and longer periods staring at a computer screen expecting an answer to 'magically' appear on the blank screen. ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stilettoscot Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 An image of Fast Freddy recently appeared on Roniheel's PC Screen and told him to wear Crocs to his next formal function. Walking in ultra-highs because it's exciting...and it is!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Shoe Posted July 4, 2008 Author Share Posted July 4, 2008 Stilletoscot is having serious doubts whether he fits in in this thread... Apparently he isn't crazy enough... Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shyguy Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 Dr. Shoe was recently cured of his insanity, but still acts crazy to keep his place at St. Mildred's Home for the Mentally Bewildered and Bereft near Poole in Dorset. It's either that or he was only pretending to be cured. Nobody is quite sure which. He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PatentHeel Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 shyguy holds the current record for the highest number of heels squeezed into the boot of a car. If you ask him nicely he will tell you how many pairs he managed to cram in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roniheels Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 PatentHeel is headed to Hawaii this evening where he has been hired to teach the hula while wearing 6" stiletto high heels. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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