The whole ensemble

[benno]

I love hhplace. One thing I feel I must say after reading hundreds of great threads on the forum is... I have noticed a trend whereby people are moaning about men in heels getting laughed at and not taken seriously. However nearly all of the people that moan about this also tend to wear men's clothes and simply stick some heels on. If you do this then expect to be stared at and even have someone say something. I'm not referring to anyone that goes out wearing 'stealth' heels. That is an entirely different matter. Every time I have gone out wearing heels I have always made sure my whole look is in balance. For example I have worn tighter trousers, a little bit of eye makeup, feminine gloves and even a fur coat. BUT every time I have been very obviously a man and I am never ever clean shaven (except sometimes my legs). I have never been laughed at and if I had been single I would have been home with many, many girls. I have had girls come up unnanounced and say thing like 'You look really amazing, I wish I could get my boyfriend to dress like you'. The only negative comments have been from girls saying they hated me because their shoes were boring in comparison to mine. My favourite comment was from a guy... My girlfriend and I went to a trendy clubnight in East London and dressed in complimentary but very different outfits. I was wearing shiny metallic gold leggings, kneehigh white stiletto slouch boots an orange slash sided t shirt, a white boob tube, tons of white plastic bangles, hot pink nail varnish and my hair was really dishevelled. This guy came up to me and I thought my time on this planet was up, I was ready to avoid his inevitble punch in the face. He said 'Mate can I just say that we are obviously totally different in our sexual persuasions but you look amazing'. I pointed to my girlfriend who was wearing a similar outfit to me and said 'That's my girlfriend and I'm probably the straightest guy you could meet'. He gave me a blokey kind of bear hug and just said he was utterly jealous of my life. I just smiled and said 'All you have to do is be yourself'. Balance things out and it can work. Warmest regards to everyone, Ben

[loswabs]

Which club?!!

[benno]

It was a night called BangFace at Electrowerkz in Angel. Also have been out many times in Brighton where we live.

[thedesigner]

hooray !! I keep bleating the same message !! A whole ensemble gets the thought ' different but interesting ' which is my whole intention, whereas heels only i feel, would get a 'what the f*** ' reaction. I like the ambiguity of it all, as the heels are part of, not the whole of, the look. Nevertheless, I know my style preferences and limitations; try developing yours !

[Tech]

I like the ambiguity of it all, as the heels are part of, not the whole of, the look. Nevertheless, I know my style preferences and limitations; try developing yours !

Well put TD

[roniheels]

My favorite men's suit or sport coat and slacks, fedora hat, coordinated high heels. That is my favorite look and style.

[mikeheel]

This is an important thread. I know this site is the HH place but this, like many clubs, is what brings us together. Aside from the CD and TS groups we have a split camp of men and women, the men mostly frustrated and worried about how to incorporate HHs in their attire on the street and women who do their own thing care free. The 'whole ensemble' is what the rest of the world sees, NOT our footwear. It's like this...you go out, having spent some time preparing in a mirror, you know you look fantastic and you feel great, you want the world to notice you.....shoes just melt into the whole ensemble. You are no more self-conscious about them than your hair (or lack of it...topic for another time?) This is a long way from sneeking around in HHs not wanting to be seen. A man needs to spend MORE time in front of a mirror than a woman if he feels he will be judged harshly. That is why the thrust of of this board needs to turn more towards helping men find a look that works for them, incorporating HHs. Many men on this board are happy with their style, but too many are unaware what can be done with a bit of flare and imagination. I always avoid mens clothing where possible. They are mostly drab , badly cut and expensive, compared to womens clothes, and I am talking here about unisex garments like shirts, jackets, coats. Use colour, identify the cut and shape of clothes and experiment with sizes. The only loose fit trousers I wear are linen. Jeans have to be tight, shirts generous and detailed. There is nothing more depressing than a mens shirt shop. 10,000 different colours and patterns of the same shirt. Look for sculpted tails and asymetrical pockets, button details or cuff/collar treatment. In the day I keep things moderate, in the evenings I go a bit further, but I always feel the mirror is your best friend. I think a little make-up becomes essential when you smarten up to these levels. Benno perhaps knows more? I have always been a little hesitent with face paint. HHs HAVE to be worn with fabulous clothes...that's the point....you get to the stage where flat shoes would seem inappropriate. M

[fastfreddy2]

This is an important thread. I know this site is the HH place but this, like many clubs, is what brings us together.

Aside from the CD and TS groups we have a split camp of men and women, the men mostly frustrated and worried about how to incorporate HHs in their attire on the street and women who do their own thing care free.

The 'whole ensemble' is what the rest of the world sees, NOT our footwear.

It's like this...you go out, having spent some time preparing in a mirror, you know you look fantastic and you feel great, you want the world to notice you.....shoes just melt into the whole ensemble. You are no more self-conscious about them than your hair (or lack of it...topic for another time?)

This is a long way from sneeking around in HHs not wanting to be seen. A man needs to spend MORE time in front of a mirror than a woman if he feels he will be judged harshly.

That is why the thrust of of this board needs to turn more towards helping men find a look that works for them, incorporating HHs. Many men on this board are happy with their style, but too many are unaware what can be done with a bit of flare and imagination.

100% agree.

I'm becoming more and more aware I need to consider my overall look in the way I had forgotten was important.

As a teenager and young man, I was always aware of my 'look' because (naturally) I wanted to attract the opposite sex. Fortunately, I'm no longer handicapped with that frustrating/exciting desire. BUT I now also realise that part of what I wear is going to (or may) make me stand out from 'the crowd'. In an initiative to make me appear less of a 'weirdo' (because I will be to some), and more of a stylised male dresser, I'm becoming a little more interested in how I dress.

To that end, and to try and involve the women here in a conversation that wasn't about high heels specifically, I started this thread:

http://www.hhplace.org/discuss/general_fashion/10940-trousers_men_women.html

I probably made a mistake putting it in the Fashion section, where threads like this one belong maybe. When I last looked at the thread, there had been 60+ views, and no responses.

Shortly afterward, new member Stilettoscot started a thread in the HH discussion forum "For the guys" forum asking for generic help on how to improve his overall look.

http://www.hhplace.org/discuss/guys/10955-help_fashion_help_request.html

The location of the thread seems a bit ironic. If I were asking for 'how to dress' help, I'd normally consult a woman, seldom another man. I know men can dress themselves, but few do well at it. Most women spend more time in a day than most men spend in a month, working out looks and combinations. For that reason alone, their experience/ability far outweighs a 'typical' mans experience/ability.

I doubt any of us couldn't improve our overall look. In looking better while wearing heels, we are almost certainly going to look better when we are not. I could see partners being appreciative of smarter looking escorts, and the 'silver-lining' of being seen with a smarter looking/better dressed partner may well help with any other 'trade-off' going on.

Efforts at improving my 'peacock appeal' are paying off. I'm getting more attention when I'm out, and some of it is really quite welcome.

....

[shyguy]

I agree with what is being said, I am the worlds worst dresser, jeans t-shirt boots - done. Since reading a lot of the threads which have appeared lately I am thinking about how I could dress smarter, and how the improved look would make me feel more confident wearing heels outside if the rest of my ensemble looked better. I still don't feel cosmetics would help me as a man feel better though, or for that matter too much feminine clothing, although womens jeans do fit nicely, I have a pair of my wifes and they are tighter on the legs, and look and feel better except they're old and worn out now. Another thing to deal with would be convincing my wife I need womens jeans especially having had to convince her it's about the heels, and not crossdressing (I know and you all know that jeans weren't for women originally, but my wife sees anything from Dorothy Perkins et al as female only wear, so calls it crossdressing).

[roniheels]

I appreciate all of the comments and suggestions for attire with high heels. As I have said, I have always worn men's suits with high heels. I have been inspired by women in pant suits wearing high heels. But the more I listen to every one at this site, and the more I read about many of you wearing women's jeans and womens slacks and blouses, It is starting to become tempting to try a woman's suit and blouse with my stiletto high heels. I guess my drawback has always been that I am not a cross dresser nor female impersonator. But I have seen some women's suits that do not look all that feminineand they definitely would look good with stiletto high heels. Thanks to to inspiration of the members of this website, I am definitely looking at this option.

[crotchboots-m]

i like to wear my thigh high and taller boots with total fetish leather. this includes: 2 pairs of boot chains,skintite leather or pleather pants,boot garter,pyramid belt,biker vest,black longsleeved dress shirt,2 spiked choke collar(one narrow,one wide),wrist restraints,and biker skullcap. i am sure all can agree there is nothing ambiguous about this array...lol.

[fastfreddy2]

I appreciate all of the comments and suggestions for attire with high heels. As I have said, I have always worn men's suits with high heels. I have been inspired by women in pant suits wearing high heels. But the more I listen to every one at this site, and the more I read about many of you wearing women's jeans and womens slacks and blouses, It is starting to become tempting to try a woman's suit and blouse with my stiletto high heels. I guess my drawback has always been that I am not a cross dresser nor female impersonator. But I have seen some women's suits that do not look all that feminineand they definitely would look good with stiletto high heels. Thanks to to inspiration of the members of this website, I am definitely looking at this option.

Don't feel 'pushed' towards this, please.

I've mentioned (elsewhere) that I've worn girls jeans for most of my life (a) because I was so small I needed a smaller waisted jean and ( I have an anatomic problem that makes for discomfort wearing correctly sized mens jeans. [To do with the cut of them.] To get around this in more recent years, I've just worn baggier/looser jeans/trousers, but this doesn't go so well with a more 'considered' look. Hence my re-interest in girls jeans.

I'd been looking for a smart/casual jean for daywear. I need a waisted jean ['hipster'/low rise are okay for 15-24 year old girls], and a pair with lycra are going to be more comfortable than those without, especially since they will hold their original shape for years. A small flared leg will help hide my footwear, and provide a pleasing profile. These [aka Tummy Tuck™ jeans] fit the bill, but are tres expensive compared to my usual purchases. That said, I expect they are a good investment, and maybe something I suggest around birthday/Christmas time.

I don't know a 'ladies' suit would look good, given they have smaller backs than men, and the suit will be cut for their size. A tight jacket will emphasize a man's broader shoulder, I'd expect..... A man wearing a mans suit with heels seems a much more sensible idea to me.

....

[benno]

I'm my opinion it doesn't matter who the clothes were designed for. I was only appealing for an end to baggy jeans, t shirts and stilettos.

Use your imagination. Read some style magazines (both men's and women's) and have a play.

There are loads of fashion websites. Anyone seen Bryan boy? Or Style Bubble

There are loads of crazy high fashion looks on them but there's also some gold.

The possibilities are endless. Here's a link to start you off... loads of Boy meets Girl stuff. Flick throught the gallery.

It's only some clothes after all.

Enjoy yourselves,

Ben

[mikeheel]

Benno, These links are GREAT . So many ideas.... I think I will have to learn how to play the sewing machine ! M

[Danielinheels]

I'm my opinion it doesn't matter who the clothes were designed for. I was only appealing for an end to baggy jeans, t shirts and stilettos.

Use your imagination. Read some style magazines (both men's and women's) and have a play.

There are loads of fashion websites. Anyone seen Bryan boy? Or Style Bubble

There are loads of crazy high fashion looks on them but there's also some gold.

The possibilities are endless. Here's a link to start you off... loads of Boy meets Girl stuff. Flick throught the gallery.

It's only some clothes after all.

Enjoy yourselves,

Ben

Fashion magazines, while fun to read, point to nothing I'd expect to see on most women anytime soon, let alone men. I'd be more prone to mimic the ideas posed by members here like kneehighs and fashionablefun. I have a fairly limited budget, so most of my spending has to be done within the constructs of my finances. Therefore, I find things that I already have and try to properly incorporate women's shoes into the look.

[benno]

Fashion magazines, while fun to read, point to nothing I'd expect to see on most women anytime soon, let alone men. I'd be more prone to mimic the ideas posed by members here like kneehighs and fashionablefun. I have a fairly limited budget, so most of my spending has to be done within the constructs of my finances. Therefore, I find things that I already have and try to properly incorporate women's shoes into the look.

Most fashion magazine I read have tons of very wearable clothes. Granted that sometimes they may be teamed with unwearable 'prop' items that look great in photos and get people thinking, but if you strip away the shiny veneer there are plenty of things that are gonna be seen in 6 months to a year even in small towns. Check out the photos I have attached (all were taken from the style.com slideshow 'Boy Meets Girl' that I linked to a couple of posts ago) and tell me which ones aren't perfectly wearable.

If you are going to wear your high heels in the open then you do need to think about what you're gonna wear them with.

Cheers,

Ben

[Stilettoscot]

If you are going to wear your high heels in the open then you do need to think about what you're gonna wear them with.

Benno,

Though you can be a bit "rough" in how you get your point across (I am used to it, however, having loads of Brit friends..LOL), this one quote above (and your earlier proddings) has really got me thinking for the better.

Thanks!

[benno]

I got bored with being all nicey nicey long ago. The squeaky wheel gets the most oil... Firm but kind etc, etc.

[Tech]

I got bored with being all nicey nicey long ago.

The squeaky wheel gets the most oil... Firm but kind etc, etc.

Plus a lot of people seem to tell others "what they want to hear" or are just plain dont want to upset anybody if they think they say something others might not like.

Gotta hand it to Benno, he seems to be one of few that actually seem to want to speak out in a way that is more of a "Heres what I think" rather than a "Heres what I'm going to conservatively tell you so as not to upset you but try to tell you its not perfect" kinda way.

There is a lot of members who tell each other they look great, yet seemingly have no idea themselves, or just say that sometimes for what seems to be "just for the sake of saying something" as johnieheel pointed out once, where people post just for the heck of it.

Good work Ben

[thedesigner]

baggy gents jeans no, flares, back in again, yes please bigtime...

Agreed richie, i too say what i think, and have had the flak for it ...., and we are all individuals and are feeling our way into an unknown zone for beginners.

A city suit and heels looks well gay (in the modern parlance = not right), but with the right outfit looks together and natural - and less likely to draw anti remarks.

In the end, be youself and confident.....

[Bubba136]

M

If you are going to wear your high heels in the open then you do need to think about what you're gonna wear them with.

Cheers,

Ben

As far as those pictures go, I can see Kneehighs wearing all of them. Well, two or three of them, anyway :-)

[Danielinheels]

Most fashion magazine I read have tons of very wearable clothes. Granted that sometimes they may be teamed with unwearable 'prop' items that look great in photos and get people thinking, but if you strip away the shiny veneer there are plenty of things that are gonna be seen in 6 months to a year even in small towns. Check out the photos I have attached (all were taken from the style.com slideshow 'Boy Meets Girl' that I linked to a couple of posts ago) and tell me which ones aren't perfectly wearable.

If you are going to wear your high heels in the open then you do need to think about what you're gonna wear them with.

Cheers,

Ben

I'm not 5'10" 110 lbs.... that's more of what I meant. While I agree with the notion that looking like a thrown-together slop is no good, I understand just the same that my body's build doesn't jibe well with many outfits/concepts displayed at fashion shows. 'Tis all... it's all peace here.

[Stilettoscot]

Sorry for going off topic here...but Daniel, your avatar is one of my faves.

[Danielinheels]

Thanks A while back, the forums were "re-modeled," and I'd made that design in like every colorway. Site management went with green, and I've kept that one ever since