Getting more of us out there in our heels

[Thighboots2]

Guys, This may be contraversial, but that is what this is mean't to be - to generate debate. However, lets keep flames away and be thoughtful in your responses. As a long time member of the board and also a long time "street-heeler" I have always wanted to ask why it is that so many of you who love heels just won't stand up and be counted. It is clear that fashion trends are copied the more they are seen, as long as they are not seen as ridiculous. Men wearing heels is not ridiculous if the whole outfit is co-ordinated and balanced so the chosen footwear blends as part of the look. Surfing the web, it is abundantly clear that stiletto heels when worn by men are seen as either GAY, TG, TS, CD or perverts, and in IMHO, I can fully understand that mindset as it is how society tries to programme us. Trouble is that there is way too much evidence to support the prejudices that society currently has. Fortunately society is coming to terms with TG, TS & CD as long as it is done well. However, the perverted side of high heels will keep societies mind firmly rooted in the perception that any man who wears heels, especially stiletto heels, is a pervert. He must be because all such perversions always have women wearing stiletto heels of some flavour and men fantisising and them. We cannot change that on the web but we should be doing something about it in our own back yard. I perceive this board to be about the wearing of high heels by either gender as a fashion statement, and to be supportive of the desire to wear heels and look good. Just put yourself in the place of the "plankton" of society and then take a fresh look around the board. Do you really think that the "plankton" will be persuaded that heels for men is anything other than as society says men in heels are? I certainly don't. It is exactly the above that stops so many of you wearing your heels outside, and as long as so many of you continue to act as if it is dirty and perverted, this perception will continue. Look just how long it took before homosexuality became tolerated in the western world. If you really want to be free to wear your heels, regardless of style, whereever and whenever you want then it is up to you to do something about it. For me it was finding the heel height and style I believed that I could wear and not feel selfconcious when doing so. That anyone seeing me would not automatically think "pervert" but either GAY or preferably just plain old eccentric. That for me was max 4" cuban or thicker tapered style heels. Look at my website to see what I mean. Oh, but I hear you say, I don't want to wear heels like that, they don't excite me. Excite me - that's a pervert viewpoint and plays into society's hands. Of course if you could indulge your perversion (society's viewpoint) at any time, any where, then they would no longer be exciting. You need to decide where the point is that the shoe goes from being functional and part of your overall look to being sexy and exciting. My perception is that women have this mindset. An everyday black pointy court shoe with a 3.5" heel would be seen as elegant and functional, whereas a strappy plat with a 5" heel, esp clear is labelled tarty, pole dancer and so on. If you truly want men to be able to wear heels, then you must wear heels yourself but apply the test to the footwear as to what it is meant to be. Functional or sexual. To the many members here who enjoy the wearing of heels for what they are, part of your overall look, (and there are just too many to list individually) I thank you for inspiring me to join you. May our ranks continue to swell, and the faster the better. Simon.

[flavio]

It's a great post Thighboots2 and I agree with you in some way or another. My thoughts in your point are the following: Yes, some women choose their shoes as they are functional, classy, stylish, coordinating, fashion. Some women wear heels to look taller. Some women collect hundreds of pairs just because they are "to die for" on the store. Some other consider shoes as real jewels (look to Jimmy Choo's prices) as a status simbol (I can buy, you can't). But some women wear heels to look sexy and attractive, to be looked by man and other women, to show power above others. I don't think we should wear heels and other "feminine" shoes in a way it perfectly shows our masculinity when matching. I think that if you're a man that feels classy when in heels, wear it classy. If you feel sexy, wear it sexy. If you feel different, make it like our friend Shock Queen. I think everybody, heelers, skaters, fashionists, fetishists, men, women, girls, boys, should wear what they want, the way they want, to show personality and to feel good. Be accepted is good, I know. But be myself is way much better. I'm not hurting anyone.

[raymond.nl]

So is this "limit" personal, or should we look at society as it is today and decide that the max. acceptable height is 3", the min. acceptable heel width 1", etc? Going out there in 5" red stiletto's may be great fun, but I don't think it will do much good towards acceptance. (But hey, don't let me stop you!) 1" cubans won't do much good either as they will hardly be noticed. If we can get 3" heels accepted in a few years' time, we can always move things up later on. Or am I just being silly?

[tightsnheels]

If things are changed incrementally society as a whole doesn't notice at first. After a mass market effect hits then people will stop in there tracks and complain but by then it is usually too late for the complainers to do anything about it.

Look at how it was for homosexuals at first. Over time someone cast a television roll for a charecter that was gay and it caused an uproar but the show was good enough to carry on. All the uproar did was bring attention to the show. Now I won't say society accepts homosexuals just from one show but more stars have come out since then and that has had a favorable impact toward acceptance. By the time the religous right really got a hold of the situation scociety really didn't show the enthusiasm to stand behind the them. But it has been a long slow road to acceptance.

Personally I feel if every single heel wearing man was to come out all at once and remain "Standing tall in our patent high heels" (sorry I can't remember who's signature I just stole) for a month or more acceptance would be a little easier for all as there would be just too many to attack.

I also feel that in order for us shoe lovers and crossdressers we really need to find a way to get the loud mouth over macho types to not get as much air time on the news and on the web. Too many sit out there and spout mindless dribble and it gets accorded the standing of "news" but is really only hurtfull. Are they really that unsure of there own masculinity that they can't let others be themselves? Personally I think we are more sure as it takes real guts to go out in society in a pair of heels, we don't get paid to do it, there is no one saying great job, or anything else along those lines even our partners don't all understand us. We risk physical harm for the only reward being the thought to ourselves of "I did it!"

I have done it and will contiue to do it wheather society accepts me or not because I am who I am and that's all I wish to be. If anyone has a problem oh well they're the ones with the problem and they have to live with their emotional constapation.

Enough blowing off steam.

T&H

[fastfreddy2]

Is making a point <I like to wear heels> worth sacrificing friends I have had for 40 years? Losing my standing in the community [neighbours, family, and because of my business - the Police]? Losing my current livelihood?

I think not.

So I won't be at the 'protest'. But I will be at every Heelmeet within 70 miles of where I live. Will you?

I am trying to build up the courage to walk where I want when I want, where it won't adversely effect my life, so I'm not completely spineless.

[johnieheel]

Good comments. I believe we are on the verge of actually being excepted for who we are and not what we wear. At least in my case. Example: I took off work last Monday and when I returned Tuesday a number of people came up to me, mostly men, and asked if I went to the stiletto race. I didn't even know there was a race but I went along with it for fun. They saw it on tv in the lunch room. Point is, they were serious and a couple girls actually asked if I won. Nobody laughed, poked fun, or treated me any different than the man I am. It is no secret to the 600 people I work with that I wear heels and they all treat me the same as they did before they new.

[euchrid]

Thighboots2, Wise words, mate. And eloquently put too (even though it was written rather than spoken ) I shall digest and cogitate before getting back to you with a proper answer to the questions therein.

[roniheels]

Thighboots2, flavio, and tightsnheels...yes, yes, yes! You all nailed it. I wear high heels because I enjoy wearing high heels. I do not care what others think of me wearing high heels. I am discovering that even in my small community, more men are buying and wearing high heels (maybe not that many publicly) and there seems to be more accetpance or live-and-let-live attitude about it. I'm old enough to remember the disco era when every other guy on the street was wearing (disco shoes) high heels. When dicso died, the trend seemed to slowly vanish, too. I decide on the high heels I wear based on my apperal. I do try to coordinate my outfits with certain high heels. I do go to many places in high heels, but I do use common sense. I probaly won't walk into a biker bar in stilettos to have a beer with the guys.The freedom to dress as we like, wear whatever we like, and generally be accepted for it is growing all of the time.I haven't been a member that long, but the over all concensus seems to be to simply enjoy being yourself!

[thedesigner]

very good points (no pun intended) mate ! I always heel, and people ask my friend (not my soulmate) "is he, you know..." She assures them i'm not, having met soulmate, although i do enjoy winding people up on occasions just to scare them.... Roniheels, you have a brilliant mindset, that we must get out there. When it becomes a trend then manufacturers will think "hello" theres a market here and put heels in shops ! Welcome to our club !!

[Histiletto]

Thanks Thighboots2 for putting this topic in front of us, as you have. We seem to talk about a lot of "fluff" most of the time in this forum, which has its place and brings a little humor and a degree of entertainment to the very serious intent of this high heel forum. However, the activation of your point is basic to any kind of success for male heeling acceptance. As you have pointed out, there is no right or wrong in wanting to wear the footwear that makes you happy. What others think won't change at all, if they can only reference their views using the recognized perversities and societal attitudes that are now in place. Public perception will only change when honorable and respectable men and women everywhere, who support and/or accept the idea of men wearing high heels, voice their opinions. fastfreddy2 has a very valid point in not rocking the boat so violently that we should be considered total idiots and loose whatever credibility we have in the social positions we hold, with those we know, and those who know us. So there has to be a time of preparation before the acceptance of male heeling would even have a chance to achieve the public spotlight. Like many of those who are publicly open in their heeling, more of us who are not as open, have to be willing to cleverly bring up or insert the idea of male heeling while talking with our friends and associates. If we can keep the subject on the public conscience, the better are the prospects. We also have to prepare our skills in dealing with the public attitudes as they are presented while we are out (heeling or not) among those who don't understand or are not of the same thought as we are. This can't be a stagnant concern, it has to be an active consideration to notify the world. With so many other things that our world is involved with, heeling has to be hoisted up so that it won't be trampled over and dismissed. Has any one in this forum got the skills to promote such a public awareness agenda? Even getting a moment in some television forum or even something like highheels has done. Is there a way an accessment or a type of news clip about today's male heeling could be inserted into a magazine, newspaper, talk radio setting, or television interview segment? Has Oprah, Tyra, or the like considered such a discussion or have they been approached to consider it?

[euchrid]

As a long time member of the board and also a long time "street-heeler" I have always wanted to ask why it is that so many of you who love heels just won't stand up and be counted.

I’m no expert but I believe there are many reasons for the majority of us ‘keeping quiet’ about our high heel interest. Some of those reasons are possibly magnified inside our own heads (the fear of public ridicule, etc.) but most are genuine, sound, sensible & logical reasons. There is no solitary cause that can be singled-out and excised unfortunately.

It is clear that fashion trends are copied the more they are seen, as long as they are not seen as ridiculous. Men wearing heels is not ridiculous if the whole outfit is co-ordinated and balanced so the chosen footwear blends as part of the look.

I agree with that. I believe however that few fashion trends ever get started or propagated by the ‘man in the street’. It always seems to take some sort of cultural kick-start allied with media promotion - and even then, it doesn’t necessarily get ‘picked up’ by the general public

Some examples of failed fashion trends:-

- David Bowie once wore dresses, make up and various androgynous items of clothing. That look didn’t catch on with many guys outside of a few hard-core fans.

- Marc Bolan wore womans’ Mary-Jane type shoes. There was no discernable effect on male shoe-buying habits.

- David Beckham wore a sarong. Sales of sarongs did not rocket skywards.

- Prince (the When Doves Cry bloke) wore high heels. No one else started to wear them – his male fans or otherwise.

Some examples of culturally-backed and media-supported fashion trends which took on a life of their own:

- Mens’ frilly blouses, mens make up, toustled hairstyles and other horrors inspired by the New Romantic movement

-Glam rock platform boots

-Pastel coloured mens’ clothing generally

-Patterned knitwear (The Breakfast TV presenter effect?)

-Chunky ‘bling’ gold jewellery

-The ‘wearing a cap back-to-front’ look

-Punk fashion, Goth fashion, Grunge fashion, Skaterwear, etc, etc.

Some garish, laughable fashion choices there, I think you’ll agree, but all were popular and widely adopted thanks to a sheep-like acceptance by the mainstream of something that was presented to them by the music industry, the clothing industry, the film industry, newspapers & fashion magazines, TV shows and so on.

None of those trends were started by a handful of ordinary geezers!

Surfing the web, it is abundantly clear that stiletto heels when worn by men are seen as either GAY, TG, TS, CD or perverts, and in IMHO, I can fully understand that mindset as it is how society tries to programme us...

... the perverted side of high heels will keep societies mind firmly rooted in the perception that any man who wears heels, especially stiletto heels, is a pervert.

You are absolutely correct. The stiletto (or any other heel above about one and a half inches) is ingrained within peoples’ minds as a female item of clothing. With that mindset, the sight of a man in heels creates instant pigeonholing. You can take your choice from Homosexual, Crossdresser, Pervert or Weirdo – they’re all good!

Either that or they will be totally perplexed by it. I have seen that confused look on peoples’ faces myself a number of times now, when they are trying to make mental sense of what they are seeing

We cannot change that on the web but we should be doing something about it in our own back yard... ...Do you really think that the "plankton" will be persuaded that heels for men is anything other than as society says men in heels are? I certainly don't.

I don’t either. No matter how co-ordinated or stylish your overall look is, it won’t change a mindset that doesn’t accept it as ‘the norm’. And that not only applies to the plankton in society - it’s just the same for your average doctor, dentist, bank manager and chartered accountant

It is exactly the above that stops so many of you wearing your heels outside, and as long as so many of you continue to act as if it is dirty and perverted, this perception will continue.

As I outlined above, wearing heels on the street ourselves is not going to effect peoples bigoted mindsets & knee-jerk pigeonholing reactions. It is not going to change the ‘man in heels = pervert’ stigma.

If you really want to be free to wear your heels, regardless of style, whereever and whenever you want then it is up to you to do something about it.

Oh, but I hear you say, I don't want to wear heels like that, they don't excite me. Excite me - that's a pervert viewpoint and plays into society's hands. Of course if you could indulge your perversion (society's viewpoint) at any time, any where, then they would no longer be exciting. You need to decide where the point is that the shoe goes from being functional and part of your overall look to being sexy and exciting.

If you truly want men to be able to wear heels, then you must wear heels yourself but apply the test to the footwear as to what it is meant to be.

That’s all correct to a point.

However, I believe the vast majority of HHP members are interested primarily in the ordinary womans streetwear styles. We understand perfectly that stripper platforms, fetish shoes, thigh boots, etc. cannot be worn nonchalantly in the street – by anyone!

Our problem is that we cannot openly wear those streetwear styles either! Any high-heel – even a 2 inch block heel if it gets noticed - will draw the usual response and the usual failure to change peoples perceptions.

I don’t think there is any way for street heeling guys to ‘make a difference’.

If it ever happens, I predict that a male celebrity will spearhead it or maybe a rock star – a Marc Bolan of the future. The trend will be taken up by teenagers & twenty-somethings and all us HHP veterans will probably get laughed at for following a ‘youth fashion trend’.

You are correct though in saying that we all need to get out there.

Not to have an effect on society - just to fully / properly experience and enjoy this aspect of our lives.

All Hail to the Heel !

[Thighboots2]

Is making a point <I like to wear heels> worth sacrificing friends I have had for 40 years? Losing my standing in the community [neighbours, family, and because of my business - the Police]? Losing my current livelihood?

I think not.

So I won't be at the 'protest'. But I will be at every Heelmeet within 70 miles of where I live. Will you?

I am trying to build up the courage to walk where I want when I want, where it won't adversely effect my life, so I'm not completely spineless.

FF2

Of course its not worth the sacrifices you state, and I for one am not trying to say you or anyone else on this board is spineless. What I am trying to say is that unless we get out there and show how a proper coordinated look that combines heels is acceptable for everyday wear, and that a man who is wearing heeled footwear is such a manner, then we wil be tarred with the same brush as those to whom the whole heel wearing thing is purely sexual self gratification and not break the mould of society's perception.

Take my avatar, they are just shy of 3" high (7cm). On the day of the heelmeet, my SO and I went shopping in London. I wore them all day, with a nice pair of moleskin trousers, shirt, Barbour and flat hat (being a countryman). We travelled upto London from Epping on the tube ( a very long ride) and not a single sideways glance did I or my SO notice. It is sad that I had to invest so much money in order to have a pair of heeled shoes specifically made for men, but if it means I can indulge my wish to wear heels openly, then so be it.

This isnt about heelmeets and attendance at them, they are great to meet the faces behind the "handle". Kudos to you for aiming to be at all of them. The organisers do a fantastic job getting the details sorted out and they need the support and committment you show to make them want to do it.

Talking of "handles", we all hide behind them, don't disclose our location, age, name and so on - but why? What exactly are we afraid of? I'm not talking about publishing our addresses, surnames & phone numbers, but a little more specific than say your state (or county in the UK). Why not use your christian name. Unless your parents were into the wacky names phase, you certainly wont be the only one with that name. Its nice to know the age of the person(s) to whom you are having a nice chat too. What is the big deal. You only hide yourself if you have something to fear.

I am just trying to put this whole thing into perspective both for myself and everyone here. As you can see I have been around the sun quite a few times now and have got to that stage in life as stated in my signature. However, I DO value peoples opinions and that is why I am trying to stimulate some genuine debate on something that we all are in no doubt about - our passion for high heels.

There I go, back on my soapbox. best I get off and let someone else have a say.

To everyone else - Thank you to all who have contributed thus far and I look forward to reading your considered responses.

Simon a.k.a. TB2

[roniheels]

Thighboots2 and euchrid, those are some well thought out facts, concerns, and comments. If I may please join in. First of all my name is Ronald, aka roniheels. I live in the midwest United States of America. As an adult, I have worn high heels since 1976. I have worn men's heels, women's heels, chuncky heels, stiletto heels, and cowboy boots with very high cowboy heels. I work virtual out of my house, but I must attend staff once every week. When I attend staff, I wear a suit and boots similar to the ones in Thighboots2 avatar, or I have even worn women's boots with a block heel. There are coworkers who accept me for that and there are those that don't. My close friends accept me for that, there are past aquaintences that don't.I've heard the threats, the vulgar comments, been labled gay, transvestite (I don't even wear women's appearal except for high heels), and pervert. I've heard the gigles, the laughs, and the whispering under the breath. Family and friends whom I love and have accepted me for who I am and what I am are the people about whom I am concerned for their feelings. The heck with all of the negative people that I described previously in this message. I am just one person. And this one person is going to continue to appear in public in high heels. I agree, we must unite, go forward, be seen, and be heard. But any time you do something controvesial, there's always a potential price to pay. Wearing high heels in public is not worth risking your health or your life. There are places I will not go wearing high heels. I may come accross as brave and daring, but there are events I will not go to wearing high heels. But I refuse to hide in my house when I feel GREAT about myself when I dress in men's clothes and feminine high heels. Some minds and mind sets will be changed when more and more men are seen in public in high heels. Some minds and mindsets will not be changed. But it is up to each individual to do what they comfortably want to do and accept the consequences whatever they may be. I encourage more men to step out into the public wearing high heels. It's fun and exciting. But that's just my point of view. Thank you for listening.

[fastfreddy2]

Talking of "handles", we all hide behind them, don't disclose our location, age, name and so on - but why? What exactly are we afraid of? I'm not talking about publishing our addresses, surnames & phone numbers, but a little more specific than say your state (or county in the UK). Why not use your christian name.

Good question, coming from ThighBoots2 ....

Unless your parents were into the wacky names phase, you certainly wont be the only one with that name. Its nice to know the age of the person(s) to whom you are having a nice chat too. What is the big deal. You only hide yourself if you have something to fear.

Let me confirm, I'm with you on the "spreading the word" (evangelising). The part I'm not with, is the 'in-your-face' method for implementation.

I do have something to fear if my whole social circle found out about my interest in wearing heels. And I'd say most of us have the same problem. This is undoubtedly a Catch 22 situation (aka chicken and egg).

My experience suggests change can't be pushed onto society. It need to be pulled, and fashion seems to be the only route.

With more and more women choosing to wear flat shoes, a fashion initiative seems increasingly unlikely with every passing year. Androgyny, and highly stylised dressing peaked in the 80's. It took a World War and 50 years of social and economic growth to get there. I can't see the opportunity for such a quantum leap happening again in my lifetime unless we as individuals, become so isolated we have no interaction with others at all.

Several here have managed to find acceptance at home and their workplace. They are more "a lucky few" than the norm. (Sadly). For the rest of us, it'll be a long hard slog to find ANY acceptance. Fortunately Mrs Freddie seems open to bribery, so I will be wearing my 4" wedges during a shopping trip to Lakeside, we will both be enjoying in the very near future.

I'll be "doing my bit" for the cause, but discreetly.

...

[roniheels]

Well said, Freddy. I do count my blessings for my state of being. All I can do is to contribute to the cause and keep wearing high heels. I think discreetly is a good choice of words. I hope I don't come across as flamboyant. I don't mean to come across that way and I am not that way. My suits are very conservative and my high heels peak out from under my pant legs. But a blind man can see I'm wearing feminine high heels. Freddy and Mrs. Freddy, please enjoy your shopping excursion. Ronald:online2long:

[kneehighs]

....snip....What I am trying to say is that unless we get out there and show how a proper coordinated look that combines heels is acceptable for everyday wear, and that a man who is wearing heeled footwear is such a manner, then we wil be tarred with the same brush as those to whom the whole heel wearing thing is purely sexual self gratification and not break the mould of society's perception.

Walk the talk.

Act As If people will perceive your use of heels as a fashion statement and most of the time they will. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy to be honest. Like all things in life, I ASSUME in advance that I am going to get what I want--acceptance in heels is just one example amidst a plethora of examples.

Take good care of your physical presentation. Too many guys here have excellent leadership qualifications, but fail to groom themselves like a leader. They fail to bathe, wear deodorant, comb their hair, watch their belly (watch their waist), wear clean clothes, wear clean shoes...a clean presentation will help fight the "fetish/pervert" stereotype.

[JeffB]

Take good care of your physical presentation. Too many guys here have excellent leadership qualifications, but fail to groom themselves like a leader. They fail to bathe, wear deodorant, comb their hair, watch their belly (watch their waist), wear clean clothes, wear clean shoes...a clean presentation will help fight the "fetish/pervert" stereotype.

I couldn't agree more! First impressions are always the most lasting, and it we, as heel wearing present ourselves while out in public in the best possible light by looking our very best, from head to toe, that only helps to dispell whatever myth is out there that we are weirdos.

[roniheels]

Clean, well groomed, fit appearence, I too agree, is a must for the public high heeled man.

[Firefox]

I actually found that when I wore heels in public I didn't lose any friends. And I've made lots of new ones since then too. To be honest, If I had have lost certain friends over it, they wouldn't have been worth keeping anyway. Something to think about.

[Thighboots2]

Snip...

Take good care of your physical presentation. Too many guys here have excellent leadership qualifications, but fail to groom themselves like a leader. They fail to bathe, wear deodorant, comb their hair, watch their belly (watch their waist), wear clean clothes, wear clean shoes...a clean presentation will help fight the "fetish/pervert" stereotype.

Kneehighs,

This applies regardless of wearing heels or not.

I look around me where ever I am and see men that do not care how they present themselves. The lack of personal grooming standards is appalling. To be attractive to a prospective partner, you MUST come up to their standard and let's face it (being hetro here but it applies equally) most women do take pride in their personal appearance. If only men would do the same. I am ashamed of my gender at times when I see a beautifully turned out woman standing next to a man who is a mess. I guess it just confirms my thought that a woman, more often, dresses for herself and her own self esteem, not for the man she is with.

I take this to heart and dress myself exactly the way I wish to be on that day. I do like nicely ironed shirts, pressed trousers with seams that are perfectly defined. Shoes that are properly cleaned. Being a baldie, or slaphead as some like to call me, I like to keep what little hair I have about 1/2" and trimmed. I have my daily cleansing ritual that includes moisturising (at my age I need all the help I can get). I don't use makeup (yet), but I do indulge in activities such as facials, manicures and so on that for some reason ad seen as female only territory. My skin is as sensitive to the ravages of life as my wife's is. Basically, I want my wife to be proud to stand beside me when we are in pubic.

Perhaps if some of our girls who read this section would like to jump in here. I certainly don't mind this thread digressing from the original topic heading. Indeed if we really do hear some truth, it will be refreshing. This is a conversation after all and everyone's opinion is valid.

Really, it is the girls who are in control here and if they would only put their collective stiletto heel down and insist that men get their act together, then perhaps men would take their appearance more seriously.

I love this thread and the way it is going. It is generating just the sort of discussion that, from time to time, makes this board such as wonderful place to part of.

Firefox

Your words are so true. I too have not lost anything or anyone by wearing whatever I choose. That is because they are friends in the true sense of the word and not acquaintances which is so often mistaken to mean friends.

Time to finish my glasss of wine.

Simon.

[roniheels]

Thighboots2 and Firefox... I have also made new friends when wearing high heels in public. As I said previously, true friends and loving family accept me. Those who don't...to bad, so sad, bye bye!

[billyb]

TB2 and Firefox you both are right on the money the dress has to fit the shoes if the outfit is well coordinated with the shoes or boots the more acceptance we will get. There is an old saying no pain no gain and that is true, in this day of instant anything we want people forget that some things worth having take time. I have always loved womens high heels even as a kid and that is probably why all my cowboy boots had to have heels it was my way getting what I wanted. It was not untill recently a few months before I found HHPLACE that I bought my first pair of ladies high heels I just had to try it. the first pair was a pair of pumps with a 3.5" stiletto heel and the moment I put them on I was hooked for life, the way the shoes fit and the feel was awsome and they even felt better than my boots. What suprised me was that I did not find it that difficult to learn to walk in them ( except slick tile floors still trying to get good on them) So I guess all those year in high heeled cowboys boots paid off. When I found this great place I found out I am not alone and this gave me the courage to pursue my passion, since then I have bought 3 more pairs of shoes two with stiletto heels and one with a stacked heel plus two pairs of ladies boots with 3.5" stacked heels. I interchange the ladies boots with my cowboy boots for work all the time now and no one has ever said a word I don't think they even notice, and yes my dress does not attract attention to my heels.This gets back to what both TB2 and Firefox talk about to get past the perception of 'ODD' our look has to show taste and that men can still be masculine in a great pair of shoes with heels and if that means that I have to wear stacked or chunky heels to begin with then it is worth it to know someday I can hopfully wear stilettos as normal shoes.

[high_55]

Hi there, i happen to agree with all of you, because everything that has been said so far, i do believe is sound advice, i only want to say that i do believe that the most important for each and everyone of us, is to remain true to ourselves upon the reason why we like to wear heels, and that may also apply to the style of heel we love to wear, mostly because if we don't, then we won't be able to comunicate as a whole group that we like heels, and though i do understand the viewpoint about the style and heel size, we are all different in a certain way, we like heels, but some like to wear just boots, while others like wearing opened toe shoes, some epillate, others don't. I guess it's still a long way to go, i myself understand very well those of you who claim that it isn't easy trying to go outside heeling wihtout the fear of losing friends in the way, or even worst, that your children may be left out because other parents don't want their kids to see that there are alternatives to life, and they're not ready to explain to them, most probably because many of them haven't even given themselves the honest chance of digging inside trying to find out if how we live, what society is said to be expecting from us. I think we should give a try by letting know those who we believe really care for us first, gaining their support and acceptance first, and then when ready move to the next level, maybe co-workers, or neighbors, inside out, so the ones that you really care to know your stroy get it firsthand, which in a certain way, like shrek would say, it may start peeling of layers from the onion, and someday somehow we'll fear less if someone makes a big deal of it, which by the way according to my calculus, crossdressing may be the next big move on tv, because first there was the gay issue (though mostly on the male side), now they're trying to make it fashionable between women (the L word, for example), so i think that as soon as the ratings fall down, maybe cd, tv or fetishism are the ones next to become the big hit, giving us a big break through.

[thedesigner]

big up for that, its about time extreme fashion came back.... everyone apart from us crew, wants to be a clone. Get rid of them f****** staffs an pitbulls an lets be nice to each other !! Keep em high !!

[kneehighs]

Kneehighs,

This applies regardless of wearing heels or not.

Of course. But in my view, it applies even more when we wear high heels since we begin our first impression from a fashionably disadvantaged position.

I look around me where ever I am and see men that do not care how they present themselves. The lack of personal grooming standards is appalling. To be attractive to a prospective partner, you MUST come up to their standard and let's face it (being hetro here but it applies equally) most women do take pride in their personal appearance. If only men would do the same. I am ashamed of my gender at times when I see a beautifully turned out woman standing next to a man who is a mess. I guess it just confirms my thought that a woman, more often, dresses for herself and her own self esteem, not for the man she is with.

I take this to heart and dress myself exactly the way I wish to be on that day. I do like nicely ironed shirts, pressed trousers with seams that are perfectly defined. Shoes that are properly cleaned. Being a baldie, or slaphead as some like to call me, I like to keep what little hair I have about 1/2" and trimmed. I have my daily cleansing ritual that includes moisturising (at my age I need all the help I can get). I don't use makeup (yet), but I do indulge in activities such as facials, manicures and so on that for some reason ad seen as female only territory. My skin is as sensitive to the ravages of life as my wife's is. Basically, I want my wife to be proud to stand beside me when we are in pubic.

Great! And while we are on the topic of grooming, let's not forget to trim our nasal hairs while we are at it here. (I know a guy who has so many nose hairs coming out of his nostrils I'm tempted to wonder if they could function like steel wool pads or something).

And shave the back of our neck too. And guys, when you are on a date and eat salad, please take a trip to the bathroom to make sure you don't have salad greens pasted onto your teeth. Don't ask your date if you have greens stuck on your teeth, do it while you are in the bathroom.

Something else that I've seen is bad table manners too, which is a huge pet peeve of mine. One time I watched an otherwise respected street heeler eat food with his mouth open (on more than one occasion too). I could hear the food slap between his teeth and tongue, and watched him shovel food into his mouth with his head so close to the plate I thought he was going to stand up on top of the table when he was done and beat his chest and bellow like Tarzan.

And another pet peeve I have is when people hold their fork incorrectly...and when they hold their knife with a fisted hand while they cut their meat...it's not like they are driving a circus tent pole into the ground, it's just a knife, you know?

[johnieheel]

High55; You talk about the possibility of loosing family and friends. In my own personal experience I have lost NONE. My daughters except me as I am and even get me high heel gifts for special occasions. My oldest grandson, (13) even got my wife and I a wall hanger of a high heel for a wedding gift and gets me little collectibles for occasions. My youngest daughter is the same way and has seen my out a lot in my heels at walmart etc. and hugs me and excepts me as is. A lot of my friends from work have seen me out in heels and have stopped and talked for a while and never said a word and the list goes on. I have found out that if you just be yourself, people will love you for just that. That is my experience.

[roniheels]

High55; You talk about the possibility of loosing family and friends.

In my own personal experience I have lost NONE. My daughters except me as I am and even get me high heel gifts for special occasions. My oldest grandson, (13) even got my wife and I a wall hanger of a high heel for a wedding gift and gets me little collectibles for occasions. My youngest daughter is the same way and has seen my out a lot in my heels at walmart etc. and hugs me and excepts me as is. A lot of my friends from work have seen me out in heels and have stopped and talked for a while and never said a word and the list goes on.

I have found out that if you just be yourself, people will love you for just that. That is my experience.

My family and friends who know about me wearing high heels have embraced me in a similar manner.

[johnieheel]

My family and friends who know about me wearing high heels have embraced me in a similar manner.

All the women on wife's side think it's cool that I wear heels. All the men know but not sure of there feelings yet. O well.

[johnieheel]

Great! And while we are on the topic of grooming, let's not forget to trim our nasal hairs while we are at it here. (I know a guy who has so many nose hairs coming out of his nostrils I'm tempted to wonder if they could function like steel wool pads or something).

Little off topic and should be in a thread of it's own but while on subject, how about blowing your nose at the table! YUK!!!!!!GO TO THE RESTROOM!

[roniheels]

Personal hygine is so important. How are we going to get the point across to everyone that there is nothing wrong with a man wearing high heels if people are associating bad hygine issues with a man wearing high heels? Doesn't that just add fuel to the fire of the negativism?