Moderation in Heels

[verngentleheels]

If we define moderation as being the mid-point between extremism and nothingness, I may have reached a point of moderation. For a long time I have idealized heels of 5 or 6 inches or more, with or without platforms, as being the ne plus ultra. I have clomped and stomped beyond the points of comfort or vanity in search of the ultimate heels. A recent purchase may have changed all this. A simple pair of Payless ankle boots with a 4 inch heel and a 3/4 inch platform. Squared at the toe and of moderate width of the heel. Good looking boots, not "in your face" or anything like that. Comfortable, easy to walk in - almost like trainers with a little "click-clack." They get "cool boots" looks, not weirdo glances. They are simply superb. So if you say exercise moderation in heels - I believe I am there! Vern

[Firefox]

My philosophy too. I've grown to like moderate and more chunky heels over a period of time, especially western styles.

[genebujold]

Ditto, to an extent. My idea of moderation with heels involves something you can wear all day without pain or discomfort. For me, that's 3-3/4 inch heels. I can wear 4 inch heels for an evening, provided the design and support are just right, but I prefer something more, well, "moderate."

[Epi Cene]

Moderation in heels offers several possible advantages. For the wearer, it allows one to comfortably and fashionably wear women's heels that just look "right" for the situation, and appropriate for most guys. Also, makes one appear taller, which sometimes is an advantage in general society. For the public, it shifts their perception, just a bit at a time, of what's OK for everybody to wear, including males. Makes heels on guys no big deal, over time. Moderate now, perhaps not so moderate in the future. For all of us, advances the heel wearing cause in a long term beneficial, non-confrontational way. Long-term fashion change is almost always, incremental. Pushing beyond the usual block heel and slight platform boots many of us wear with jeans, my idea of nice moderate boots, with more fem heels and no platform, for dress slack (or even suit) wear, at this link: http://www.eddiebauer.com/eb/product.asp?product_id=26675&nv=23211|23214|23286&lview=&cm_cg=C23286&tid=&c=&sc=&lp=v1i003

[heelsRus]

Moderation in heels offers several possible advantages.

For the wearer, it allows one to comfortably and fashionably wear women's heels that just look "right" for the situation, and appropriate for most guys. Also, makes one appear taller, which sometimes is an advantage in general society.

For the public, it shifts their perception, just a bit at a time, of what's OK for everybody to wear, including males. Makes heels on guys no big deal, over time. Moderate now, perhaps not so moderate in the future.

For all of us, advances the heel wearing cause in a long term beneficial, non-confrontational way. Long-term fashion change is almost always, incremental.

Pushing beyond the usual block heel and slight platform boots many of us wear with jeans, my idea of nice moderate boots, with more fem heels and no platform, for dress slack (or even suit) wear, at this link:

http://www.eddiebauer.com/eb/product.asp?product_id=26675&nv=23211|23214|23286&lview=&cm_cg=C23286&tid=&c=&sc=&lp=v1i003

Those are really nice. And if they had a rounded toe they're almost exactly what I'm looking for. I didn't eddie bauer had stuff like this - our local store doesn't.

[jbmajoor]

For me, it's the same story. I've got a conservetive heels taste. I will wear them for longer time - not for one season of for fetish reasons. So no fuck-me pumps with heels higher than 13 cm. Or trend shoes such as UGG's or croco-print

[Mickey S.]

... fuck-me pumps with heels higher than 13 cm. ...

I'd personally be careful using the f-term in this case. That's why quite a couple of girls don't want to wear these shoes cause they're afraid of being seen from that perspective.

CU!

-Mike

[hoverfly]

3.5" to 4" for me with chunky heels for out side, I think for me however I would never go out with any thing lower than 3". My numbers in stilettos are small and never been worn out side.

[Bubba136]

Epi Cene. Wonderful example. The boots can be worn by any man anywhere, anytime without fearing a adverse reaction. In fact, any of the items of clothing shown on that link-- and, I'm sure GBJ would agree -- can also be worn by men with good results.

[Epi Cene]

Eddie Bauer shoes, boots and clothing are great for moderate, maybe unisex, oriented folks that might like some low-key crossdressing from head to toe. Many of the Bauer styles are very similar in men's and women's items. Things like women's jeans, tshirts, turtlenecks, sweaters and many of their female shoes and boots can easily be worn by guys, and often come in sizes that will fit many males. Not sure it's directly related, but many lesbians wear Eddie Bauer stuff. They call the company "Edwina Bauer" Good source for moderate shoes and boots and clothing.

[dressboots]

Moderate for me is 1.5" to 2" heel, for the best long time comfort. Some feminine styles in that heel height range are based so closely on men's styles, no one would ever suspect.

[loveheel]

I agree. One of the first pairs of heels I bought was a pair of 6" pumps at a flea market in Texas. That is the last pair of fetish shoes I ever bought. I now buy my shoes in regular stores and am the proud owner of at least 30-40 pairs (I never count) of great high heels in the 2 to 5 " range.

[Dawn HH]

A 3" to 4" chunky heel is all that I can wear and be comfortable in for up to 18 hours in a single day. I even hate to take them off at night for sleeping, but I'm back into them again the next day. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[Mickey S.]

In the beginning when I wasn't aware of suppliers offering high heels in larger sizes I checked our regular local retailers several times a week for a pair of high heels the at least I could my feet let slip into it. Since I didn't succeed in finding some I was bound to the usual male flats. But only a couple of years later high heeled shoes in my size became available to me and I - if I had to catch up for something that was missing for a damn long time - immediately went for the highest heels possible spending a vast amount of money since there were only hand-made 7"-heels. That was also the time when I still thought of limiting my high heel wearing to an exclusive indoor-wearing. Pretty soon there came the time where only 'strutting around the appartment' didn't do it for me anymore and I thought about someting to go for street-heeling. One thing was obvious: It wouldn't be my 7" heels that make it for a first outdoor experience. Back then I wasn't even able to walk more than a few steps in them. There had to be something else and I went for something like 3..4" heels. Fortunately there was a time around the end of the 90ies when slightly higher heels / more chunky shoes came into fashion for men. Of course, I immediatley got a pair and when worn out, another one and again a year later one more pair of them. After like two years and a half or so those shoes weren't offered anylonger. Men's shoes went flat again and stuff in the ladies' shelf turned into more pointy-toed / spike-heeled and away from the chunky platform styles. Not the best thing - although very interesting - if you are just on the verge of comming out. By now the last pair of these higher-heeled men's shoes were worn out and I had to think of something else. Right then I found a supplier on eBay selling 'work boots' (chunky heeled ankle boots with a small platform) which seemed about right for starting wearing heels outdoors. They have almost 4" heels and don't look too female either. And roughly half a year later the same guy offered knee high platform boots with 0.75" platform and 4.75" heels which I wear nowadays and everywhere. So I've come to the point where I have to agree with you folks who say ~4" heels are good avarage to go for. They are also quite practical since you can do everything in them you usually do with 'regular men's' shoes. It seems to happen to almost any male high heel enthusiast: Starting out with extreme heels in private and then going down to more reasonable heel heights when starting (first) outdoor experiences and 'rational thinking' sets in. Hope, I'm not too far off track with this... CU! -Mike

[Dawn HH]

MickeyS.:-) It sounds to me like you are on the right track for most men. When I started several decades ago to wear heels, they didn't have extreme heels available then. Being a crossdresser, I wore what was available to the women of that time and the highest heel that they wore then was 4", and I wore between 3" and 4" heels. I still wear 3" to 4" heels today. I try to dress like a normal woman would while being out and about going to work and attending to her daily chores. Through the decades I have progressed through the same fashions as the women have and I stayed pace with them as any woman would have done over the period of time, and therefore I was dressed just as fashionable as a woman would be. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[JeffB]

One can say that moderation depends on a person's point of view. It could be 2 inches for one person, and 6 for another. It all depends on how comfortable the person is with a given heel height that he chooses to wear. For me, since I'm in public a great deal, I've set my limit at 4 1/2 which is comfortable, and moderate for me. I think everyone has to find their own level of moderation and stick with it.

[Thighbootguy]

I really try moderation in most things. JeffB said,” I think everyone has to find their own level of moderation and stick with it”. For me, thigh boots with 4” heels is moderation, the 5” heel is pushing my limit.

You should be in control of the image you present. Do with it what you are comfortable and enjoy doing.

[Epi Cene]

An interesting question is which level of moderation best advances the acceptance of guys wearing heels? While some guy's personal level of moderation may be 4 inch thin heeled pointy pumps, I suspect the general public's moderate level would be more in the range of 2-3 inch block heeled boots. Those pump guys are the leading edge pioneers drawing the most arrows, while the boot guys are more likely to reach a critical mass of many wearers that lead the public to generally accept the idea of guys in heels. Kinda like guys wearing moderate small earings or necklaces. Took a lot of those fellows before it generally became acceptable to most folks. Too "out there" risks a backlash for being too extreme, while too moderate hardly gets the public's notice. Not sure what the right answer is, but tend towards the 2-3 inch boot view. P.S. Those guys that wear extreme heels, and than try to hide them with long boot cut pants, strike me as inviting the worst of reactions. Seems too personally defensive...and kind of self-defeating. Better to just be natural and up-front, whatever heel height and style.

[loveheel]

I think that is a good question. But I wonder if the answer for men is not just the same as for women. What advances the cause is what looks good. When a women wears 6" heels and does not coordinate it with the outfit or walks terribly in them, she doesn't advance the cause for women in heels either. But some women look awesome in them. Because men are somewhat more restricted in what they can wear (unless you want to go into crossdressing), we can probably also not wear any type of shoe without it looking out of place. But, if you look around this board you will see many styles of shoes that men have made to look good on them, by combining them with the right outfit, and considering what looks good on them. It definitely takes some experimenting. It even depends on the environment. Last week I wore high heeled slippers when going shopping. When I walked into a shoe store, the sales lady remarked that I was wearing sandals ! In talking to her it turned out that she was not questioning the heel (these had a 3.5") but the fact that I was wearing sandals when it was pretty cold outside and most people were wearing boots. I wear everything from stiletto sandals to block heel boots and often gets compliments on my choice. Most styles can be made to work in the right environment.

[Dawn HH]

JeffB:-) Good observation. I have found that my moderate comfort and co-ordinated look sets my limit at 4" heels. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[JeffB]

Those pump guys are the leading edge pioneers drawing the most arrows, while the boot guys are more likely to reach a critical mass of many wearers that lead the public to generally accept the idea of guys in heels.

An interesting observation. Well, I'm one of those "pump guys" and I tend to think that I draw no more arrows than do those who wear boots, and during fall and winter, I wear both, with equal amounts of acceptance. A spike or blade heeled boot can attract just as much attention, depending on the surroundings a guy's in when he wears them.

Too "out there" risks a backlash for being too extreme, while too moderate hardly gets the public's notice. Not sure what the right answer is, but tend towards the 2-3 inch boot view.

I would agree, but, at the same time, it never hurts to push the envelope, staying safe never gets you anywhere. Speaking from personal experience, I've worn bright red and stark white pumps in public and got no more double takes than I would in moderate looking boots.

P.S. Those guys that wear extreme heels, and than try to hide them with long boot cut pants, strike me as inviting the worst of reactions. Seems too personally defensive...and kind of self-defeating. Better to just be natural and up-front, whatever heel height and style.

Those are the folks who tend to be self-conscious about being seen in heels because they might be new at public heel wearing, or haven't built up that defensive armor that allows them to shrug off any and all reactions to the footwear they choose to wear. Fear can be quite the crippler until they break its chains.

[Thighbootguy]

In my part of the world, people seem to be very tolerant of what I wear. Sure folks notice, but that’s part of the fun. Moderation should always defined from your side, not the rest of the world’s. If you think flat wing-tips are moderate, they are. If you think 2” block heels are moderate, they are. If you think 4” stilettos are moderate, they are. First you have to be comfortable wearing whatever you wear. Second, at your option, you can consider other's definition of moderation.

JeffB is right. You do need to “built up that defensive armor that allows them to shrug off any and all reactions to the footwear they choose to wear”. This works for me. Admittedly, it took a while to develop the armor (it’s all mental, and that’s the hard part) but after a while it gets there.

Moderate means not doing something that rocks your boat too much. But just to keep alive, you should moderate moderation and rock the boat every once in a while.

[Epi Cene]

JeffB and ThighBootGuy, if you guys present the same image (especially based on the classy pictures JeffB has posted of himself) and wit and personality you show here, out in the real world, you're both a major asset to the cause of guys wearing heels. That cause needs both lower heel moderates in the eyes of general society, and moderates in the eyes of the guys themselves doing the higher heeling. You pioneers are boldly blazing the trail, the moderates will populate the territory. We all benefit.

[kneehighs]

Moderation to me is realizing there is a time and place for everything. There is a time for stiletto's with a pointy toe (clubbing and dinner), and time for blade heels with an oblique toe (scurrying about the frenzied streets of New York during the day). There is a time for flat heeled kneehigh boots with an almond toe (when out with my girlfriend who doesn't support public street heeling) and a time for men's sneakers (ewwwww, I know....when mountain biking through city streets). A time for Franco Sarto Bocca loafers at the office and a time for Nine West slippers when climbing out of bed in the morning. Each situation requires tasteful consideration of the circumstance and environmental setting and for me that is the fun part.

This HERE is the look I feel comfortable with presently. The stiletto's can be substituted for blades or flats, but the bootcut jeans and black t-shirt will stay the same. In other words, I am going to wear long boot cut pants/jeans and solid t-shirts no matter what--independent of the type of shoe that I wear. In New York City, dark indigo rinse bootcut jeans and dark shirts are more the norm, so I feel the outfit as a whole is an asset to our cause. In keeping with JeffB, Thighbootguy, and loveheel:

I think everyone has to find their own level of moderation and stick with it.

You should be in control of the image you present. Do with it what you are comfortable and enjoy doing.

But, if you look around this board you will see many styles of shoes that men have made to look good on them, by combining them with the right outfit, and considering what looks good on them. It definitely takes some experimenting.

[Dawn HH]

JeffB., Thighbootguy, Epi Cene, and Kneehighs:-) You have all some excellent input here and you all have expressed it extremely well and I agree with all of you. I'm a boot guy myself and I try to show the public that a man wearing heels with a co-ordinating out-fit is not offensive, but progressive and stylsh in his dress. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[JeffB]

JeffB and ThighBootGuy, if you guys present the same image (especially based on the classy pictures JeffB has posted of himself) and wit and personality you show here, out in the real world, you're both a major asset to the cause of guys wearing heels. You pioneers are boldly blazing the trail, the moderates will populate the territory. We all benefit.

Thanks for the kind words. I just do as best I can to advance our unique passion.

[TXT-1]

moderate for me, is my former "avatars", and extreme would be the 7" or 8.5" fetish plats I have planned, However I haven't built up that "armour" and probably won't as I have a hard enough time Having High Fuctioning Autisim - I have a hard enough time undersanding the world let alone in 6"- 8.5" "stripper/fetish" platforms. as for lower heels like the ones JeffB has, Unfortunately the largest they seem to go up to os US/AU womens 11 and I'm a 13, honestly though (IMO) the latest styles are fugly! no "murder weapon" style toes for me.... ....EVER! I'd take my "stripper/fetish" heels ( I also have my eyes set on a pair of Tony Shoes' Hot-3 or hot-5 6" (no plat!) sandals if they are budgetable ( read: cheap!) enough! there are lots of styles I like but either they are too small or they are in the local "soul outlet" which is a womens only shoe shop, and I'm not going in there as I don't have the guts! I have a place that I like that is the local agent for Tony Shoes and Maya Shoes anyway... ...which will be revisited in March! <insert evil laugh and hand rubbing together gesture :-) > later, TXT-1

[Dawn HH]

JeffB.:-) You certainly have done your part to advance the idea of men wearing heels stylishly in public. Great work and keep on with it. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[BobHH]

My situation reminds me of an old TV commercial showing an executive cramming a piece of cake in his mouth, and saying "I don't have TIME to cut down on sugar!" At my age, I don't have time to be moderate! I like my heels as shown in my avatar, like TXT-1. Better late than never.

[JeffB]

JeffB.:-)

You certainly have done your part to advance the idea of men wearing heels stylishly in public. Great work and keep on with it. Cheers---

Dawn HH

Well, when you love what you do like I love wearing heels, that makes things all the easier! And all the more fun!

Meanwhile, I don't know if this comes under the topic in question, but I recently arrived at the realization that with the exception of my athletic shoes and a pair of snow boots, I haven't worn any traditional men's shoes in close to four years now. WOW!